NyGold

More than one provider told me they thought when I asked if condoms were ok that I was expecting some kind of stealthing roleplay - apparently this was quite common in the early days of Prep and especially among older folks. And note I now ask if they’d are ok with condoms rather than assume it’s as simple as choosing option a or b … have learnt through experience it’s not the preferred option for most providers I’ve spoken with and can sometimes seem like a negotiation rather than a request made to someone you are essentially employing.

It used to be that you would hear a whispered ask if bb was ok as it was taboo to say it loudly … it’s now switched to where for some condoms are not only absurd but actually offensive. For those of us having experienced a different era part of this is liberating but it can be very confusing / scary as well. @Simon Suraci @Jamie21 framing the use of condoms upon request as an act of professionalism by providers as you have both done here is the right way to look at it rather than by taking a moral position or making a statement on cultural mores - I have found it odd on this topic as it has resurfaced over the years how out of touch some more vocal posters have been with (now) prevalent cultural practice (and therefore, likely expected by clients).

I assume that’s for your health rather than because it feels better for you? it’s not just how the industry alone is gong, it’s how hookup culture has gone already since the emergence of U+ and Prep

A doctor having a bad day could kill me through incorrect diagnosis and a lawyer could have me end up in jail!

If it were my bf or hookup in this context - I might agree. But Isn’t this rather like saying a doctor or dentist or lawyer had a bad day so despite paying them for services advertised / promised / expected I shouldn’t be complaining about them if they failed in the task at hand? we hear from providers they want respect as professionals. Let them be judged to professional standards.

I’ve had warnings from some providers - not triggered by anything, perhaps more them acting in pre emptive self defense - kind of like “here are the rules, if you don’t follow them I can and will take action …” easy to forget providers have concerns re the law, their personal safety generally especially if always hosting etc

I think the pages are part of a whole ecosystem - if you look at Twitter AND off AND you see a hashtag for #Rentmen or language such as “available for your needs” in one or all of those places, you can figure out what’s going on. I wouldn’t be so sure of providers ditching traditional work once their channel is up. I see the rising “stars” still on RM and in code on the hookup sites … though don’t know if that’s more publicity for their channels rather than seeking clients.

I don’t see what the fuss is about. Some providers clearly have no problem and even encourage night time sessions. Others don’t. A matter of preference or their own circumstances / convenience and the market accommodates it all. I’ve heard from several NY providers that a particularly busy time is 2am+ on Friday and Saturday nights. And I was reprimanded once for reaching out to someone on a Saturday morning around 10am as didn’t I know that providers would typically be up the night before and needed rest.

I’m glad this is being discussed. I’ve seen in prior threads a naïveté either real or feigned that suggests many still assume condoms to be the norm in the world that providers at least play in. This ignores a massive shift in behavior over the past decade (and I’m not making any judgement on that here). I have experienced at least two providers trying to “stealth” (saying they would use protection but then secretly removing it) and more than one refusing the appointment before even meeting if safe was a requirement (so not based on however grotesque they may find me 😊). And I’ve heard of many similar experiences. Doesn’t make sense to me - if a provider finds a client so unattractive that he is unable to perform, why would going bare mean he could forget all that he found unattractive? While I am on prep I’ll add that many who see providers probably aren’t - for whatever reason - so they have risks that “mainstream” provider culture may not understand or empathize with. And as discussed on here a few times, there are several known instances of providers lying about their health status in their ads - while it’s the clients ultimate responsibility to behave as he feels safest doing, there’s also a false security that can come from a (naive and foolish) belief that risks are as low as the best case scenarios may predict.

Providers’ obsessions with reviews indicates they are actually impactful. I’ve never left one, and my conflict with providers on this matter is usually they want me to. Even when I tell them I don’t have a premium account. And I’ve heard providers say things like (about a client leaving a bad review) “I know where he lives, I can cause him a lot of trouble …” - very confidence inspiring.

Provider should also turn down work if unable to perform. This isn’t a boyfriend experience in the genuine sense.

That’s called the full boyfriend experience lol

The problem is that providers who screw in the non biblical sense can often come after you in other ways. Deposits, electronic trail with ID and other info etc. My policy now is no deposit, and I’ll show a provider an envelope containing their donation if it seems they’re uneasy when we meet (after all they have bad experiences with clients too) but payment upon full receipt of goods. My bad experiences come under the following categories: - financial: deposit, upfront payment etc then they disappear or change terms (something @Jarrod_Uncut can’t understand is a common experience) - service: they can’t get physically ready for what is expected and discussed prior to accepting the appointment, and don’t offer compensation (if already paid) or discount (if yet to be paid) or even apologize (personally even if out the whole donation I’d likely be ok with an attempt at even faking being sorry). One provider said he was really straight and doing this as he was totally broke hence being unable to perform - my response to him as I walked out and he was threatening to track me down and make my life miserable (in whispers as he was nervous about his neighbors) was he should find another way to figure out his identity issues and if the issue was he wasn’t “in to me” he shouldn’t be in this profession, or should have screened me beforehand. - misrepresenting themselves or set-up: outdated photos, claiming they can host then demanding a hotel fee right before the apt (in one case the provider met me in the lobby of a hotel which I assumed was for his comfort, but was actually because he hadn’t checked in yet), having roommate who is present (in one case in a studio apt, in another in a hotel room at 2am with “nowhere for him to go”, being in the living room of a friend the provider was crashing with and being unable to use the bathroom as “my friend doesn’t like strangers using it”’etc) - threatening behavior: it can turn nasty, one can feel unsafe either physically there in the moment (when you are literally naked and most vulnerable) or more generally (passive aggressive comments showing they’ve researched you based on ID etc). In one case the provider made reference to something and I was surprised as I hadn’t discussed that about myself (and wouldn’t) and he himself revealed he had my car license plates checked from the time I arrived and his friend (doing the check) had sent info to his phone. In another I left my wallet in someone’s hotel room; I realized as soon as I was in the lobby. He wouldn’t let me come up to get it but said he would bring it down but asked me to meet at Dunkin Donuts across the street. He arrived 40 mins later (originally saying he would be right down), gave me my wallet and didn’t say a word and left, I checked for my license, credit cards, cash etc and everything seemed ok but later found a note saying “you will never be free of me” with the date of the encounter. - manipulation that makes you want to be screwed: sob stories, typically of domestic abuse from a partner, sickness either theirs or a close relative, can’t pay rent etc These are all with providers having great reviews. Yes they can have off days, they can have difficult times, we are all human. But the legality requiring donations for time doesn’t mask the reality of what is understood to be the purpose. As with dating I’ve incorporated all this into my equation of what might be out there and am prepared to endure this for the (more likely) better encounters. But eyes wide open.

It’s come up a few times; I’ve generally found providers willing if no faces and no commercial benefit Ie for your personal pleasure / memento - I think this was common without further thought before the online content business came on stream A new trend - a couple of providers have offered a discount if I would let them film aspects of our encounter (no face option) and I’ve refused. I’ve seen some providers now have active content sites and I lean towards avoiding them. Different business goals in their minds.

I love a good reality show. Haven’t found on in here yet 🥳

Bottom line: don’t get upset if clients also make “alternative arrangements” 🥳

I’m still rather baffled as to what this post was about no one trying to gaslight the OP - if anything the other way around The op doesn’t need validation from readers here - if his business model works since his instincts and policies are, he believes, appropriate for the market he is in, no further validation needed.

One man’s bargain is another’s extravagance.

If you’re looking to make some extra dollars while traveling anyway - it’s fair to question need to be prepared to host at every moment and to be opportunistic and only seek out convenient and biz savvy ways to make that extra $. But if your road trips are really about selling on the road exploring new territories, taking a break from your home base if it feels saturated etc - you’ve got to adapt to local market conditions and be smart on cost drivers. No one stopping you from doing whatever you want - on deposits, total amount, hosting or not, charging extra for things like hosting etc - but what the market will tolerate is another matter.

Nothing is written anywhere in this business. And you won’t be able to write it here and get it enforced anywhere either 😀

Do you mean he complained you didn’t give him an outstanding review? That raises a flag.

I see more providers reaching out to me proactively (which tells me times are tough rather than I was memorable or they are getting more professional). And if the takeaway from discussions on here is that providers are so busy, and unlike anyone else their time is so valuable, the world ends if you engage with them and don’t intend to hire that minute etc etc, am I supposed to even respond? I follow my grandma’s rules and reply politely to any message received - which is typically “thanks, not right now, hope you are well’.

Didn’t misinterpret one bit. I don’t ever ask for discounts but frequently get them. I don’t send any pictures. Other than hopefully realizing I’m not a nightmare client, I’m not making a providers job any easier than it should be. Their reason for offering me a discount is their business.

Surely providers are out to maximize profits? If you were so attractive they all found you very easily beddable, surely that would be an easier way for them to get the profit, rather than then giving you a hottie discount lol. Reading the posts on here I think a lot of people get offered discounts on the starting rate quoted (I do, typically, around half the time, and without trying, it’s usually as I’m taking time to think and reply and they may think I’m uninterested because of price etc). No photo at that stage of the negotiation for me (or ever) so it’s not because I am attractive (or unattractive) to them. The point being your discount could be just about them wanting to close a deal and get cash for time that would otherwise be unpaid for them.

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