NyGold

Depends how you define it … if you agree on a time and they say let’s keep going when that time is up … and you either say you don’t want to book more or they volunteer “you don’t have to pay …” is that considered a freebie? That happens often - for me maybe 1/3 times. I think the expectation is you pay in tip (which is where it can get sneaky as the provider is relying on goodwill after unilaterally extending) or get converted to a repeat. I’ve often turned down the offer for extra time … as I had another appointment or … I wasn’t actually that interested!

Masseurs offering erotic or sensual who take offense if you indicate you want something more … lroviers in general taking (or should I say faking) offense at anything fine if an individual provider doesn’t offer a service (that’s not the part that annoys me) and a client should figure that out before confirming an appointment, but in this industry I find it so disingenuous to act like there is moral outrage at the idea of something that isn’t atypical with other providers or in regular male-male interaction.

What does “off the clock” even mean in this business?

I once got some helpful feedback from a provider about something (the way I was doing something) m … I could tell he was waiting to tell me something or holding something back for a while. He was very nice about it and it felt bad at the time but then it clicked … it explained some reactions I’d had from partners before. Made a big difference to my future encounters. I often thought of going back and booking a session for the sole purpose of thanking him but then I thought he’s not even going to remember me … lol

If that’s the case it suggests you go on for unpaid interaction … so what’s the complaint? Everything affects business … even the weather. But then it would affect everyone equally surely. You just said it wasn’t your style … despite what you say here about you not initiating it. No one is going to go on Grindr, see your profile and think “omg he’s going to be the best experience ever, even though this is designed for unpaid interaction I’m going to offer him $ out of the blue as he’s so amazing etc. “ So you are at some point bringing up the topic of payment, likely as a bait and switch.

Your logic doesn’t make sense to me. If I’m seeking a masseur or professional I’m looking for a specific experience. I know I can’t typically get that on Grindr. I’m not looking to pay $300 just because I didn’t score when I was horny and spent 2 hours trying to find someone online. I’m sure that happens … but if that’s your competition guess what you have to work on changing the mindset of the person on the hookup ap to wanting the different experience otherwise guess what, while he’s talking you, figuring out you tricked him and now want money, he’ll find another hookup and go silent or he’ll just be annoyed and go silent and you’ll come on here and complain about its full of time wasters. What’s the point about people complimenting your looks? So every handsome guy should just be able to make money based on that? So if you hit me up on Grindr or vice versa I need to pay you? And if there’s more competition on the sites designed for your business that’s a complaint too? Why not figure out how to compete? And when you say you get dozens of hookup offers on Grindr (nothing unique - most of us can, may not want them all but it happens) and they’ll book you as long as it’s free … dude do you understand they’re not booking you!!! I don’t think anyone reading your posts thinks you’re complaining about lack of sex. I believe they think what I do: you’re complaining about not making enough money and not being able to figure out how to do it from the way you operate and not being flexible or open minded enough to think about other ways to do it.

I don’t know how many times the average gay man hooks up online from something like Grindr. I know guys who claim they do so every night of the week and multiple times on weekends. So maybe I’m a fraction of that. But I’ll tell you if I paid each time I hooked up on one of those apps I’d be bankrupt. So your point doesn’t make sense to me.

Do you mean you think they’re asking for photos because they’re trying to make sure you’re not Indian? Surely that’s a small percentage of potential clients so not worth annoying people just for that group of people?

Yeah love the guys who say in their profile “all my pictures are within the last 3 months” but they’ve had the same pics up for 2 years!

A lot of people mentioned no reviews or not many 5 star reviews my twist on that would be if you look through the reviews and it’s pretty damn obvious that half of them are written by the same person, the same writing style, the same narrative etc. and inconsistencies … some are stupid enough to have contradictions in their profile and stats .., so they’re “bottom only” in one place but “love topping” somewhere else … or 28 in the stats but 32 in the text … I can forgive fiddling with stats to make the cut for whether a client calls or not (eg 29 yo as you’re worried 30 rules you out for people) … but not the sloppiness of the different details on the same page

“I’m ok with condoms in theory … I just don’t have any …” Like you have every toy and substance imaginable here but you don’t have one of those even though a client may walk out as a result? Lol.

It’s false equivalency. Like saying any escort asking for a deposit is really saying “I want to scam you” lol. Couldn’t resist. it’s not the same as saying no one of a specific race at all. Nor is he saying “no one who has ever escorted in their life or does so now even if it’s an unpaid encounter as I find you repulsive”. He’s just saying he doesn’t want a paid experience. You write page after page on here saying you end up wasting time with people who have no intention of hiring. Doesn’t it make it easier for you if someone tells you that isn’t for him in the first place? Those hookup apps like Grindr are not for picking up clients. Maybe it happens but I would say 99% of people there are not looking for that when on there even if they look for it somewhere else.

Are you saying you are competing with hookup apps like Grindr where people meet for free? That doesn’t make sense to me. Then you’re saying you’re offering something for $$$ vs a product that is zero dollars.

That wouldn’t be a problem … if you didn’t get a reply saying “what, you think I’m available all the time?? “ 😊

My first experiences hiring were with masseurs and I was actually told by people suggesting it that it was a cheaper way to access escorts. Now that I look back it’s offensive to professionals both those defining themselves as escorts and as masseurs. But it’s also been the case that most massages I’ve booked have had the masseur himself trying to take it to something more. On one occasion one even whispered in my ear something like “if you tip me would have a lot more fun” (out of the blue, wasn’t like I was taking it in a direction and he was responding to that). So I figured out there was different pricing for a reason and now I’m clearer about paying for and booking what I want and what the provider is offering without blurring lines.

Sure understood, and everyone has different needs and constraints. I just don’t think there’s a standard etiquette on this that’s obvious.

I’d agree if you say someone who’s a “6” or “7” which maybe most people are … can get a “9” or “10” (the provider) which likely wouldn’t happen in real life (or maybe it might given the relative incomes of a lot of clients and a lot of providers). Otherwise I’d say “there’s someone for everyone” … so not just those “less than desirable” (by society, I assume you mean). Though I do think some providers are of this view (ie our clients are all losers who could never get with anyone etc) and sometimes it comes across especially with the younger ones. Maybe some providers think clients look down on them too? (Socially, economically etc)

I think some providers like to convey a tough / rough image and some clients like it

That looks like Grindr which is not for hiring providers. It’s against their policy and someone caught can get banned. I see providers I find somewhere like a Rentmen. I look for dates / whatever you want to call it on Grindr. I don’t look for dates on Rentmen and I don’t look for providers on Grindr. Nothing wrong IMHO with what the person in that post has said as it’s very annoying to think you’re speaking w someone about a date (no $ involved) and it then turns into something else and it happens very frequently. How would a provider feel is someone hit them up on Rentmen and said “I love your look, but let’s just go on a regular date or hookup, and I won’t pay you anything”? Why is this person’s post offensive? He is not saying “I hate providers”. He is saying don’t contact me if you’re a provider looking to be paid from meeting me. Grindr is also full of opportunists looking for a one off paid interaction even if they’re not technically providers ongoing, and maybe he means that too.

Have a night in providence coming up … any views on one vs the other? Thx.

Friday and Saturday nights are best … 9pm onwards any time through like 4am or so and younger guys come in as the bars close pre covid lunchtimes on weekdays was hot with tech and finance guys taking a break from the office but o think that dynamic changed because of work from home etc Sunday afternoon is a different crowd but still busy … older Middle Aged and hot if you’re into that sometimes they have student specials and the college kids come in but I think it’s not a regular thing so you can check on their website

If I’m looking to do business with a provider shouldn’t I expect some responses in a timely way to help me confirm if I should with that one?

How does that even happen? Do they know what to do and if so how?