Zapped

True this. I once asked an escort why Orlando, being such a family oriented place, didn’t crack down on escorts. The answer was “better than having it go on in the bushes.” Makes sense to me.

Yes. And they are also cruising the men's locker areas at the gym and spa. Had a pretty great jackoff session with two different guys sporting wedding rings on the first night of my trip. The next morning saw one of them leaving the hotel with his family.

What was that bit from "Exit to Eden", that cringe-worthy movie about an S&M resort with Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd as cops undercover there? A big hunky male employee of the resort approaches Rosie and says "I'll do anything you want for $100" - she says "Go paint my house!"

I'll say again what I said previously.
 
Sure, suicide, especially as we look at it from a non-suicidal perspective, is an "easy way to escape." But to the irrational, delusional person taking their own life, it probably looks less like escape and more like a gift. This is probably hard to imagine if you haven't been there yourself.
 
For me, and from what I've read about others who have looked into this deeply, the experience was that I was problem for the others in my life. Like John Dean's phrase "a cancer on the presidency," I felt I was a cancer on the life of my family. I thought I'd be doing them a favor and that they'd be relieved. I thought they'd be glad to be rid of me, not overwhelmed with grief, anger, and self-recrimination. To me, I was a malignant tumor that should be cut out from the body of my family.
 
My dad had a cousin who when she was diagnosed with a condition that would eventually cause her to lose the use of her legs killed herself. We were so mystified and upset. I now understand (or at least project) that she didn't want to be a burden to her friends and family.
 
Now that I've said this over and over and gotten myself clear on it, the thing I'm interested in is how we as a society open up conversation about suicide, and keep it going, so that people for whom suicide does look like a gift to others can talk about it without fear. When I was seriously considering it, I didn't want to tell anyone because I was afraid I'd be committed.
 
A few weeks ago, some financial issues were really weighing on me. I'm retiring from a job at the end of this month and for the next couple of weeks there's a lot of life insurance that comes with the job. One voice in me was saying my husband and kids would be better off if I died and they each got a big chunk of money.
 
The more I kept those thoughts secret, the more intense they became. Finally I told my husband that a good bit of this insurance was going away, that I was frustrated that I hadn't generated new income streams in the way I'd wanted, and asked him if he'd rather have me or this particular amount of money. He was quite quick to assure me that he'd rather have us broke (which won't be the case) and me alive than me dead and him with enough to restart his life.
 
Well, then the whole thing lifted. Once I spoke it out loud, the nightmare ended. I'd recently been at the visitation and service for a colleague who killed himself, and I'd seen the tragic mess he'd left behind and the extraordinary grief. So I was quite in touch with the fact that it would probably be devastating to my family. Which wasn't the case 20 years ago or so when I thought I'd be giving them a gift and they would be glad to be rid of me.
 
Many of us don't feel like we can tell anyone when we're having suicidal thoughts. How do we give people the space to tell others what's going on?

Man, I don't think I could afford an escort's hourly rate to do non-companionship/sex stuff. I have hired attractive high school and college guys for help with chore kind of stuff, but they weren't escorts. Now, one of them did eventually decide to explore some options with me, but that wasn't the original intent!

This is the slowest "Letter to Penthouse" I've ever read.

The first time I was suicidal, I wasn’t just depressed, I was delusional, I now realize. I not only thought my family and friends would get over it, I thought that they’d be glad to be rid of me. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got through that time. Maybe it’s because I procrastinate a lot and things cleared up for me before I’d gotten around to figuring out how to do it.
 
In more recent episodes when suicidal thoughts have been triggered, I have been acutely aware of how devastating it would be to my loved ones, especially my (now adult) children. That’s kept suicide in the realm of fantasy rather than action. I haven’t, at those times, been willing to pass the pain on.
 
So while it may indeed be incredibly selfish to take one’s own life, I imagine that most people who actually follow through are out of touch and not able to imagine the pain that will ensue for others.
 
I don’t believe family ever “get over” a suicide. Certainly there may be forgiveness, and learning how to go on. But the damage lasts, leaving scars after healing has happened.

The first time I was suicidal, I wasn’t just depressed, I was delusional, I now realize. I not only thought my family and friends would get over it, I thought that they’d be glad to be rid of me. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got through that time. Maybe it’s because I procrastinate a lot and things cleared up for me before I’d gotten around to figuring out how to do it.
 
In more recent episodes when suicidal thoughts have been triggered, I have been acutely aware of how devastating it would be to my loved ones, especially my (now adult) children. That’s kept suicide in the realm of fantasy rather than action. I haven’t, at those times, been willing to pass the pain on.
 
So while it may indeed be incredibly selfish to take one’s own life, I imagine that most people who actually follow through are out of touch and not able to imagine the pain that will ensue for others.
 
I don’t believe family ever “get over” a suicide. Certainly there may be forgiveness, and learning how to go on. But the damage lasts, leaving scars after healing has happened.

The first time I was suicidal, I wasn’t just depressed, I was delusional, I now realize. I not only thought my family and friends would get over it, I thought that they’d be glad to be rid of me. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got through that time. Maybe it’s because I procrastinate a lot and things cleared up for me before I’d gotten around to figuring out how to do it.
 
In more recent episodes when suicidal thoughts have been triggered, I have been acutely aware of how devastating it would be to my loved ones, especially my (now adult) children. That’s kept suicide in the realm of fantasy rather than action. I haven’t, at those times, been willing to pass the pain on.
 
So while it may indeed be incredibly selfish to take one’s own life, I imagine that most people who actually follow through are out of touch and not able to imagine the pain that will ensue for others.
 
I don’t believe family ever “get over” a suicide. Certainly there may be forgiveness, and learning how to go on. But the damage lasts, leaving scars after healing has happened.

If you’re looking for an “alpha” escort, the Deli is probably a better place to ask than the Lounge where the other post is.
 
I’ve spent quite a bit of time in alpha/sub porn and writings, most of the latter fictional fantasy. There are also submissive men who identify as “faggots” in real life (not just fantasy life) and identify some men (usually, but not always, straight-identifying) as naturally/genuinely superior “true alphas,” and who see their place as serving an alpha.
 
It’s pretty clear that for some it’s not role-play with enthusiastic consent, it’s actual willing, on/going submission. And it’s distinct from master/slave relationships (although there’s overlap in the cultures) in that while master/slave relationships can be affectionate and loving, the alpha/faggot dynamic (at least at its extreme end) is rooted in superiority/inferiority and humiliation of the “faggot.” I’ve seen taxonomies of don/sum relationships where “faggots” are ranked lower on a scale (of masculinity? of worth?) than “slaves.”
 
This seems to become an actual reality for some guys. For me, it’s sometimes an arousing space for fantasy and role play—a place to visit rather than a place to live.
 
I imagine that some of the escorts into BDSM can do the alpha thing, but that’s probably not what you’re looking for, if you’re just looking for a natural, genuine alpha whose not necessarily into BDSM. Certainly there are a lot of escorts who can be very dominant. I’m not aware of any specific one who identifies as a “true alpha” as it seems to me to be understood in the alpha/faggot subculture. But there may be some, and you may hear from them.

This is better than most stories on Nifty.

I can only share my own experience, and here it is.
 
There have been a couple of times in my life in which I was genuinely considering suicide. In each episode, I was in a place where some part of my brain was telling me very strongly that my friends, spouse, and children would be both better off without me and happy to be rid of me.
 
It seemed like I'd be doing everyone a favor.
 
Yes, I was facing financial and other challenges at the time. But later I woke up and saw how much people loved me and that the financial challenges were things that could be dealt with (and it turned out, in my case, that bankruptcy wasn't the end of the world, but actually a helpful new start).
 
As far as outwardly successful celebrities go, yes, it doesn't make sense to us. But having known a couple of fucked-up rich and famous celebrities (at least in their own world), I can say that I've seen how big the pressures can be. You can be rich and famous and financially over-extended. You can be rich and famous and find the pressure of living up to your own reputation and past successes overwhelming and crushing. You can be rich and famous and hooked on drugs that distort your thinking. You can be rich and famous and get into a lifestyle in which you get chronically sleep deprived and that distorts your thinking. And, perhaps most tragically, you can be rich and famous and then never know if people actually care for you or only want something from you, whether that's money or simply to back in the reflected how of your fame.
 
And as far as I can tell, wealth and fame can be their own soul-destroying addictions. If some part of you thinks you are crap and you are getting rich and/or famous to compensate, each success can end up reinforcing the sense of inferiority once the initial high wears off. And there's always the fear of losing it all. I don't know anything in particular about Sade and Bourdain, or if this applies to them, but I can imagine in a more general way that the fear of becoming a "has been," which happens to every famous person sooner or later, could be terrifying.
 
I remember years ago the jovial and beloved Today show weather guy, Willard Scott, went public about his anxiety and depression. I was pretty young, and almost disbelieving that this guy who seemed so naturally at ease and warm was suffering when off camera, afraid he'd not be able to pull it off next time.
 
My anxiety can get so intense that I can hardly function sometimes, and I have a pretty low-stress life. Someone like Bourdain? With the weight of not just his own celebrity but the livelihood of everyone surrounding him? I can imagine how that stress combined with a messed-up brain chemistry and, probably, sleep deprivation could have totally distorted his thinking. (I wasn't aware of Kate Spade until she passed.)

I can only share my own experience, and here it is.
 
There have been a couple of times in my life in which I was genuinely considering suicide. In each episode, I was in a place where some part of my brain was telling me very strongly that my friends, spouse, and children would be both better off without me and happy to be rid of me.
 
It seemed like I'd be doing everyone a favor.
 
Yes, I was facing financial and other challenges at the time. But later I woke up and saw how much people loved me and that the financial challenges were things that could be dealt with (and it turned out, in my case, that bankruptcy wasn't the end of the world, but actually a helpful new start).
 
As far as outwardly successful celebrities go, yes, it doesn't make sense to us. But having known a couple of fucked-up rich and famous celebrities (at least in their own world), I can say that I've seen how big the pressures can be. You can be rich and famous and financially over-extended. You can be rich and famous and find the pressure of living up to your own reputation and past successes overwhelming and crushing. You can be rich and famous and hooked on drugs that distort your thinking. You can be rich and famous and get into a lifestyle in which you get chronically sleep deprived and that distorts your thinking. And, perhaps most tragically, you can be rich and famous and then never know if people actually care for you or only want something from you, whether that's money or simply to back in the reflected how of your fame.
 
And as far as I can tell, wealth and fame can be their own soul-destroying addictions. If some part of you thinks you are crap and you are getting rich and/or famous to compensate, each success can end up reinforcing the sense of inferiority once the initial high wears off. And there's always the fear of losing it all. I don't know anything in particular about Sade and Bourdain, or if this applies to them, but I can imagine in a more general way that the fear of becoming a "has been," which happens to every famous person sooner or later, could be terrifying.
 
I remember years ago the jovial and beloved Today show weather guy, Willard Scott, went public about his anxiety and depression. I was pretty young, and almost disbelieving that this guy who seemed so naturally at ease and warm was suffering when off camera, afraid he'd not be able to pull it off next time.
 
My anxiety can get so intense that I can hardly function sometimes, and I have a pretty low-stress life. Someone like Bourdain? With the weight of not just his own celebrity but the livelihood of everyone surrounding him? I can imagine how that stress combined with a messed-up brain chemistry and, probably, sleep deprivation could have totally distorted his thinking. (I wasn't aware of Kate Spade until she passed.)

Thanks fot articulating this fetish as accurately as you did. Trade hunting is a dying art. Plus i think most ppl are quite content with betas imitating alphas doing roleplay(which is all i see). I tend to have better luck in person. Many guys outta jail are perfect for this. Can u imagine having gay men doting on u while u just kickback vs having to be on the block selling god knows what. I always felt like if the hustler scene got developed it could keep the rentboys honest. If you were with guys lije the ones i posted ur not going back to imposters.

Febreze works wonders!!!

By giving their story to KCTV, the students engaged a much larger audience than if their remarks were published in the year book. It is gratifying that they had the fortitude to expose bigotry and prejudice.

I was hoping for a Martha Stewart answer -- how to pack the harness without creating unwanted creases, preventing the studs from tearing your fine silks, keeping the black leather polish from marking your clothes...
 

Don’t fret it. Just enjoy the full TSA treatment. LOL

Yeah, we travel with leather and chains. TSA doesn’t give a shit

http://listverse.com/2016/12/27/10-male-sex-workers-who-made-history/?utm_source=more&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=direct

http://listverse.com/2016/12/27/10-male-sex-workers-who-made-history/?utm_source=more&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=direct

Sounds reasonable and like it would get traffic.

I hope this is an ok place to post this, it seems like it makes more sense than any of the other topics, but idk.
 
I'm wondering if anyone else would be interested in seeing like a "ask a client" section on this forum, essentially the counterpart to the "ask an escort" section? I sort of want to put it out there as a suggestion, but I'd rather not let that bother mods too much without knowing whether or not enough people on here are interested.
 
As a provider I feel like having a section where I could bring up questions for clients to discuss would really help me out a lot in terms of improving and getting a better understanding of viewpoints and thoughts from the guys on the other end.
 
Just a thought!

You can get an inexpensive tripod that includes a smartphone holder and a bluetooth remote at Walmart for $20 or less, and have some more enticing photos up quite quickly. Good luck!