cautious

Yes, of course this goes without saying. If I’d need to pretend to be someone else to prompt a response, I’m not interested in the response.
 
My ego has already taken a hit - no need to open it up for another blow.
 
I’m grieving the “loss” and if he ever reaches out, I’ll cross the bridge when it comes, but I don’t intend to reach out again beyond what I did earlier in the week.

Yes, of course this goes without saying. If I’d need to pretend to be someone else to prompt a response, I’m not interested in the response.
 
My ego has already taken a hit - no need to open it up for another blow.
 
I’m grieving the “loss” and if he ever reaches out, I’ll cross the bridge when it comes, but I don’t intend to reach out again beyond what I did earlier in the week.

Respectfuly, I do not think this is good advice. @cautious needs to move on, instead of stalking the guy.

I’m married, generally happily, but definitely lacking in the intimacy department. I thought hiring was the fool proof, drama free method - pay a fee, know what to expect - no rejection or disappointment. Unfortunately as I’ve learned (and I’m sure countless others have as well), it’s not fool proof. When it works it’s great, but you can still experience disappointment and rejection.

He seems to be very interested in time with you, and unless you were giving him signals that you wanted to start dating (which I doubt, you said you hadn't crossed lines), it's entirely possible something has come up, and I'd suggest giving him the benefit of a doubt for a bit. I know I've been swamped with things sometimes and left people I was close to because I had other things I _had_ to do and they would understand when I got to them.
 
48 hours isn't very long in the big scheme of things - much longer than his usual gaps, but I'd suggest leaving your mind open for when he does get back to you.

You are right, it is not possible not to get attached when two human beens share quality time together, regularly. But the big question is not to who you get attached, but how you do it, as there is a how for everyone. If after a 48 hours silence you feel everything is falling down and start questioning what you did wrong, I do not think you are developing the right kind of attachment.

Some people just don’t have the communications skills/confidence, especially when serious things need to get discussed. Unfortunately a huge portion of society would stick their heads in the sound and “ghost” when things get sticky.
 

This, good advice. Most times my attachment judgment is impeccable, other times well.....
 
P.S. and yes don’t beat yourself up

You've gotten some great advice on this thread and for the most part, I agree. Here's my two cents:
 
Go ahead and hire even if you suspect you're not in a good place emotionally. If you wait until you're 100% happy and life is great, you may never get there. You'll miss out on some great experiences.
 
You can't control how you feel, but you can learn to accept how you feel. If you develop an emotional attachment to an escort, well... it is what it is. You haven't done anything wrong. You're human. The first time it happened to me I kicked myself for feeling hurt and disappointed when it ended. Now I don't care so much. It's like when you stub your toe. It hurts for a while, but even as it hurts, you know it will pass. I'm not going to spend my life wearing steel-toe boots just because I might stub my toe again.

I guess I'm really unclear as to exactly what it is. Definitely business, at times extremely friendly, at times crickets. I guess I'd like to get a better handle on what it is so that I can adjust either aspect accordingly.

I'm getting ghosted in the Patrick Swayze sense. He disappears, reappears, we make pottery together, then he disappears again. The latest was a series of texts - the last was a question to him about the holidays (a harmless chat) that hasn't been answered in over 2 weeks.
 
I genuinely like this guy, opened up to him and made myself completely vulnerable. And I'm kicking myself for being so damn stupid. At my age, you'd think I'd know better.

I’m married, generally happily, but definitely lacking in the intimacy department. I thought hiring was the fool proof, drama free method - pay a fee, know what to expect - no rejection or disappointment. Unfortunately as I’ve learned (and I’m sure countless others have as well), it’s not fool proof. When it works it’s great, but you can still experience disappointment and rejection.

I’m married, generally happily, but definitely lacking in the intimacy department. I thought hiring was the fool proof, drama free method - pay a fee, know what to expect - no rejection or disappointment. Unfortunately as I’ve learned (and I’m sure countless others have as well), it’s not fool proof. When it works it’s great, but you can still experience disappointment and rejection.

I’m married, generally happily, but definitely lacking in the intimacy department. I thought hiring was the fool proof, drama free method - pay a fee, know what to expect - no rejection or disappointment. Unfortunately as I’ve learned (and I’m sure countless others have as well), it’s not fool proof. When it works it’s great, but you can still experience disappointment and rejection.

It is a fine line to walk. I had an escort I fell in love with once because the interactions seemed so genuine. He was just really good at his job. I stay grounded in reality now.

Yes, it is tough to be ghosted. When I first started hiring. I had nice young escort. God, he was awesome. He complied to all my every wish and he was reasonably priced. I saw him twice a week for about a month. The sex was incredible. One day, he ghosted the appoitment. I never saw him again. I never got an explanation. He was still on RM for a while. I even offered to pay for his time to talk because I thought it was me. I moved on but still curious to this day.

The voice of wisdom.

Dont beat yourself up.
 
You write that you know what you did was wrong. I dont necessarily agree, but if you feel that way, everything else is irrelevant.
 
Dont dwell on it. Easy to advise, difficult to do. But try. Time for a change of focus. Go walking, see a show, sign up for a class.
 
Distance lends clarity. Time and perspective. You may never achieve clarity in knowing his reasons for what happened, but you'll gain clarity/perspective regarding its effect on you.

Totally agree with @latbear4blk , there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with you, don’t beat yourself up, it could be anything on the escort’s side.
 
For example maybe he has found a partner that asked him to stop seeing clients, and he wants to make it work with that partner and so he has agreed to cut off all contact with his previous life.
 
Or anything else that could be good news for him, or maybe he has issues to deal with etc.
If you don’t think you did anything wrong, you need to give him space for a while, or forever, and move on.

I am sorry you are going through this. You said it, you broke the cardinal rule and got attached. Now you just have to let time do its work and heal. Move on, and learn your lesson.
I would not say that ghosting a regular client is a common occurrence, but it does happen now and then. We do not know what happened, the possibilities are countless. Do not beat yourself thinking about what you did wrong. The chances are you did not do anything wrong and his decision has to do with his own life.
Make sure you learn your lesson and try to figure it out why you got emotionally involved even when you knew you shouldnt. If you are not in a good place emotionally, you should not hire.
Hugs.

Fuck. When is your next appointment already?! lol

I prefer to pay in pennies. It takes a bit longer to count out but I love to see the escorts biceps bulge when he walks out the door with the cash.

In most of my recent life, withdrawing a lot of cash from an ATM means I am going to get sex pretty soon.
 
I feel like Pavlov’s dog effect is operating on me: I now feel exited when withdrawing cash at the ATM, even though I am not intending to use that cash to pay an escort.
 
Anyone else feels this?

About the fact that this makes me a liar: I know.
About the fact that my relationship isn’t as great as it would be without the lie: I know.
About the fact that you wouldn’t even call it a relationship: well, up to you, but I still do call it a relationship.
 
As for the rest: errr, what?

I’ve recently begun hiring a guy that I’d very much like to travel with but my embarrassment over my loud snoring is a barrier. My solution is that when I do plan the trip, I’ll get us separate, but adjoining, rooms for the sleeping portion. It also gives him some personal space should he need it.
 
His reply when I brought it up was “well, you never know, we could end up falling asleep just cuddling on the couch” which just reinforced that I’ve picked the right one to travel with.

What an eye opening thread - while I limit personally identifying details, I’ve found the PMs to be most valuable in helping me dodge bullets, and I hope in a few cases I’ve helped others with the same. In my experience I’ve gotten far more honest (candid) feedback about potential hires in PM than the forum or reviews.
 
A good lesson in additional caution. Thanks for sharing.