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NYCgymfitNEW

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Posts posted by NYCgymfitNEW

    When Is An Appointment Considered "Booked"

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted · Edited by NYCgymfitNEW

    7 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

    Well, in reality you can’t really dictate what someone “should” do. Being a sex worker isn’t always a profession where people get a chance to be interviewed and  “qualified” for by a recruiting agent. Guys have their reasons for needing to get into it, all the logistical street smarts don’t necessarily come right away. It take months and YEARS of experience. You can’t expect a sex worker to come into the game knowing everything and being perfectly business savvy. Maybe YOU need to not hire escorts, and deal with the sea of last minute possibilities, flakes and “inquiries” on hookup apps?

    You sound like a sweet guy, and even your screenname sounds hot 😉 but…as I said before: you weren’t necessarily an Angel yourself. You knew you had a flaky boss, you reached out to a bunch of guys haphazardly, and someone got annoyed. That’s not his fault. Like I said: next time wait until you’re at the airport. Or better yet, when your boss has booked your ticket or whatever. Don’t try to get ahead by making tentative plans. Look around, take notes of who you want to contact if you have to, but wait until things are more solidified before making inquiries. 

    I got it.  And as I said I took your criticism about not responding to his "?" to heart - reflected - and now have Venmo'd him the cancellation fee.  Going forward I will make a distinction between an inquiry and an appointment - which - made sense to me.  So - hopefully both the provider and myself - have gained some insights.  I have hired regularly for a long time - and never got this kind of reaction before.  The reaction seemed disproportionate to the moment. 

    My comment as to whether he "should be in the industry" really stems from his reaction to his week - when he was so angry on the phone - that all his clients had flaked.  The - emotionality - was real.  The anger was real - and he is not a young kid.   He's been doing this for a minute.  And - you are in a high stress industry - but hopefully a rewarding one as well.  

    You seem to have found a way to engage professionally -a set of rules and boundaries that allow you to keep your sanity.   Hope he finds the same.  Thanks to everyone for the advice.  Lessons learned all around... And as I said - most of my experiences with providers have been positive.  

    When Is An Appointment Considered "Booked"

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted · Edited by NYCgymfitNEW

    Update:  He came back requesting the "half fee" I offered that he initially refused. 

    I will pay it just to - be done. And - also - as posters have suggested - I should have responded to his "?" - and it is clear that he had a very bad week.  I am a fan of taking responsibility for the part that is mine - and not taking responsibility for the things that are not. 

    In the future I will be clear that I am not "booking" until I am ready to "book" - and that I am "inquiring" not booking.  This was an anomaly - most providers I have worked with in the past have actually been very professional.    

    I would imagine being a provider can be very stressful - and it's not for everyone.  He should probably set up a "way of working", including deposits, and boundaries and not put the onus on the clients.  

    When Is An Appointment Considered "Booked"

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    1 minute ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

    This is kind of one of those topics that, it seems both parties didn’t communicate or state intent well, which led to resentment. I’ve been there, which is why the deposit principle is also there to further solidify: is this an actual appointment request, or is it just an inquiry possibility.

    Inquiry possibilities always sounds good on paper, but it’s nothing to plan a day, travel or life. I got tired of that. I don’t think it has to be part of the business, I just think people have to present boundaries and options. This can be done even without a deposit.

    1 example could be, “if you want to book me for your trip, I would need to know by Thursday at 6 p.m. (if your boss is still fidgeting around, then counter back a different timeframe, or find out the best you can) If I don’t hear anything by then, I’m not going to be available and/or I’ll make my own plans. That way, if the OP have not responded Thursday: he would have been instantly deprioritized. A ? Is the least possible initiating in world history. People need to stop communicating like that. If you have a question, just fucking ask. Stop playing games. 

    As I’ve said before: part of this is the RentMen platform not giving us opportunity to share enough info. But, it’s still up to us to do the communicating, 

    I agree with you.  I think deposits are the way to go.  When I suggested that to the provider for the future - he went off on a rant that if he requires deposits he won't get the clients - which - i disagree with - but - at that point he was not going to hear anything I said.  Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful response.

    When Is An Appointment Considered "Booked"

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    2 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

    If I may, as a client in the past, comment, I’d say you definitely did NOT have a date scheduled @NYCgymfitNEW  Otherwise, why did the provider query it? 

    In these circumstances I would pay NOTHING to the provider.
     

    My only small criticism of you is that you might have responded to the query straightaway, saying Sorry, my plans are being changed by my boss so I cannot confirm yet. I still hope to see you if I’m able to be there.

    I wouldn’t worry about the provider’s anger. It seems to me that possibly he was taking his business-frustration with others out on you. 

    Yes I agree.  I should have responded to the "?" - even just to say - still in flux so don't wait for me.  But - also - given the comments here - I don't think I did anything particularly shitty.  I think, as someone else pointed out, that he didn't actually lock down his appointments, made a trip to the city and was upset and angry by the time the week was done.  And - I pissed him off too.  I get it.  

    When Is An Appointment Considered "Booked"

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    Thanks guys.  I am actually a fan of the "deposit" - and suggested to this guy he start implementing it since apparently he had what he thought was going to be a weeks worth of clients disappear.  

    My takeaways are - to be more clear that I am - "not booked until we have a date, time and place confirmed" and that the provider is free to book anyone else in the meantime.

    Love the forum.  You guys are the best.

     

    When Is An Appointment Considered "Booked"

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted · Edited by NYCgymfitNEW

    Hey guys... this is a genuine question.  I will be interested in getting your thoughts.  I just had an interaction with a provider that turned - well nasty - actually.   I always like to see what I could have done differently - if anything - or is this really someone's issue.

    I was planning a business trip about a week before the trip was supposed to take place.  I reached out to a few providers in the city that looked like a match.

    I reached out to one - and said - I was planning a business trip for the following week and that although I wasn't sure how the schedule was going to shake out... if it went as I had hoped - Friday or Saturday would be my availability.  Asked whether he would be available in there - and rates etc.  I closed with "I will get back to you when I have more details."

    My boss - being my boss -kept changing plans so I could not - in my view - finalise anything.  The provider reached out on Thursday with a ?.  I didn't answer it because I still didn't know.  On Friday - the plans changed.  The provider reached out again - and I said that I was sorry but the venue changed and I would not be around.

    He was incredibly angry.  In his view, I had "scheduled" an appointment.  The text stream was - wild.  From his perspective - he had traveled to this city because people told him they wanted to hire him - but almost everyone canceled that week.  I can't speak to that.  The texting went on for a while - and he said he wanted to talk to me on the phone - which I agreed to do.  

    He read me the riot act - pretty aggressively - about bothering people when I wasn't sure of my schedule. That in his view it was definitely happening on Friday or Saturday.  My view was - it isn't considered a booking until we have a date, time and place.

    I offered half his fee - trying to see it from his standpoint - which he said was not enough.  I did not feel that I had done anything that warranted a full fee.

    I have never had a provider get that angry before.  I really respect the work providers do - this was surprising to me.  When I have given less than 24 hours notice for an actual appointment where we have agreed on a date, time and place - I have paid.  Thoughts?  

    Lesson learned - HairyXLmssgs

    in The Deli

    Posted

    20 hours ago, nycman said:

    Add 15 lbs. to that pic?

    Oh no baby….that’s false advertising. 

    Plain and simple. 

    It was one of those situations where - you wonder whether you should say something - but - he was such a nice guy... In the end, I would not have hired him if I had known his current body status (just on my preferences - nothing to do with body shaming) - but - he had a good attitude - and - sexy foreskin lol.  But yeah - lesson learned. 

    Lesson learned - HairyXLmssgs

    in The Deli

    Posted

    3 hours ago, ButchAtl said:

    So were you still horny when you left?

    Nope!  I think I was a bit disappointed in his appearance - but that's on me really - if it mattered to me I should have asked which version of his pictures was he rocking at the moment.   I just "assumed" the pictures with the later dates were his latest look.  The sex was - good - not mind blowing but solid... and he seems like a very sweet guy... a little shy - English is a little bit of a struggle I think as well.  

    Lesson learned - HairyXLmssgs

    in The Deli

    Posted · Edited by NYCgymfitNEW

    Hello forum friends... I am laughing at myself.  For a long time I had my eye on https://app.rent.men/HairyXLmssgs ... read some "meh" reviews on here - and two of his RM reviews were also 'meh"... - (but good reviews too on RM).   But I should ALWAYS TRUST THE FORUM.

    Was supposed to meet up with one provider the other night - last minute schedule change and he couldn't meet - I was so horny LOL - I went back to "HairyXLmssgs" - and it was indeed - a mixed bag.  PM for details.

    Upshot - super nice guy - very sweet - but  - when you go to his link - if you look at the dates his pictures were uploaded - his "newer" pictures are more fit and muscular - and the "older pics" are much heavier.  I figured he put on COVID weight but had lost it. 

    Well - it's the reverse.  He's much heavier now - which isn't necessarily a bad thing.  If you like super beefy with a belly - he's your guy.  Add another 15 pounds to the picture with the hot pink wall.  And he's not 6' tall. 

    Just a reminder to myself - when the forum says "meh" - it's probably a meh.

    Very sweet guy though... So if - big belly very beefy guys are for you - go for it. 

     

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