US based Grindr experts, help please

[+ Tarte Gogo]

I am new to Grindr, only used it abroad and in other languages, and briefly. Maybe you guys can enlighten me about what happens in English or when you are physically located in the US.

 

3 times in 2 days, a conversation with a guy disappeared completely from my list of conversations.

 

We were getting along fine, so I am assuming that it is not because the guys on the other side blocked me.

 

On the first one, I didn’t mention any “money” but it is possible the other guy did. He certainly had mentioned my “atm” emoji.

The thread simply disappeared. No trace of it.

 

On the second instance, with a different guy, I wrote the following sentence “if you don’t have a place I will get us a day hotel and don’t worry I’ll pay for it. “ immediately the convo thread disappeared.

 

On the third guy he wrote “sugar daddy?” and I replied “I can be for a really cute guy, please send face pics” then we talked about where and when for a couple of sentences and the thread disappeared. It is possible, but I’ll never know, that the other guy wrote something about the amount he expected.

 

I don’t even know how to contact these guys again, I don’t have a handle or anything.

 

So question 1: are you guys aware of an auto-convo-delete system in grinder if there is suspicion? Semi-automated? Based on the words “pay” or “money” or “how much”?

 

Question 2: does that also blocks 2 people from finding each other?

 

Question 3 if 2 is ‘no’: how do I find a guy on grindr that I talked to before, but I don’t have his handle because the convo doesn’t appear anywhere.

 

Thanks!

[+ LIguy]

The same thing happens to me frequently. You think the chat is going well then bam! It's gone. They blocked you. They probably got off on the chat or realized that they weren't interested.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

The same thing happens to me frequently. You think the chat is going well then bam! It's gone. They blocked you. They probably got off on the chat or realized that they weren't interested.

But why does the chat history disappear? Does that happen when they block you?

[+ LIguy]

yes it disappears along with any pics that were exchanged in chat.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

yes it disappears along with any pics that were exchanged in chat.

Hmm, could be but seems unlikely that they all 3 would block rather than just stop answering.

[MikeBiDude]

Hmm, could be but seems unlikely that they all 3 would block rather than just stop answering.

Blocked! My skin gets thicker every day

[+ nycman]

We were getting along fine, so I am assuming that it is not because the guys on the other side blocked me.

Bad assumption.

 

You were blocked.

 

Welcome to Grindr.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Bad assumption.

 

You were blocked.

 

Welcome to Grindr.

Why bother talking to me in the first place? My stats are very clear. They started the convo, it is not as if I ever pester anyone, I am just answering their questions. Jeez.

[+ nycman]

Why bother talking to me in the first place?

Gay men are strange creatures my friend.

 

The less you try and understand them, the happier you will be.

[+ sniper]

Grindr used to let you delete conversations without blocking. I think you could even block just individual messages - so you could just delete the pics, for example. Now you can't do that so the only way to delete is to block the person.

[MikeBiDude]

Why bother talking to me in the first place? My stats are very clear. They started the convo, it is not as if I ever pester anyone, I am just answering their questions. Jeez.

It’s Grindr....takes all kinds there

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Is it ok if I am an asshole to them, waste their time, and do it to them, then? You guys seem jaded, so you can’t complain if I do it right?

[+ bashful]

Is it ok if I am an asshole to them, waste their time, and do it to them, then? You guys seem jaded, so you can’t complain if I do it right?

 

I've not progressed to thinking about using Grinder, or other such sites (if there are some) yet. Seems like it can be difficult to navigate.

[+ tassojunior]

Is it ok if I am an asshole to them, waste their time, and do it to them, then? You guys seem jaded, so you can’t complain if I do it right?

 

OK, it's you Tarte. It's just you. We've been trying to be nice and not tell you straight, but it's just you.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

People don’t seem to be like that abroad, in Brasil or in the Philippines, they contact me through grindr only if they are actually interested.

And if it turns out they are not, they say so politely. I haven’t been blocked before, or at least, not that I have noticed.

Maybe they are more desperate for money, that is the difference.

I've not progressed to thinking about using Grinder, or other such sites (if there are some) yet. Seems like it can be difficult to navigate.

[+ tassojunior]

People don’t seem to be like that abroad, in Brasil or in the Philippines, they contact me through grindr only if they are actually interested.

And if it turns out they are not, they say so politely. I haven’t been blocked before, or at least, not that I have noticed.

Maybe they are more desperate for money, that is the difference.

 

In Prague there's a better than 50/50 chance a young guy will say "why not" in response and the worst is usually a polite "no". It's considered a compliment you would offer usually as it's an acceptable business. At least one guy has his handle as "Massage?". In Medellin many guys have their handle as "Prepago", slang for escort. But in the USA? 95% think they're Boy Scouts cruising for perverts for a merit badge.

Edited May 9, 2018 by tassojunior

[LookingAround]

They blocked you. Means you probably pissed them off or offended them.

[+ FreshFluff]

On the third guy he wrote “sugar daddy?” and I replied “I can be for a really cute guy, please send face pics” then we talked about where and when for a couple of sentences and the thread disappeared.

 

This may have pissed him off, especially if you hadn't yet sent your own face pics.

[Deadlift1]

maybe ur stats or pics

[biggerbilly]

I’ve been both asked and offered money on Grindr. Nothing makes me block someone faster.

[MikeBiDude]

I’ve been both asked and offered money on Grindr. Nothing makes me block someone faster.

Oh no that’s when the fun begins. I’ll guess you’re in the minority among this group of posters if you immediately block for that.

[biggerbilly]

Oh no that’s when the fun begins. I’ll guess you’re in the minority among this group of posters if you immediately block for that.

I’ve said on this form so many times, I like to keep my worlds separate. The fact that FOSTA/SESTA is forcing these worlds to collide even more is very upsetting.

 

The only time I’ve ever crossed my streams was because I saw an escort I once hired, who rarely travels, that was in my backyard. It didn’t go well, I learn I was right to keep things separated. I probably won’t hire that guy again.

[Cody Converse]

Is it ok if I am an asshole to them, waste their time, and do it to them, then? You guys seem jaded, so you can’t complain if I do it right?

No one said it was okay, just that it's not unexpected. It sounds like they liked the fantasy, got their rocks off, and then blocked you before they had to commit. Happens all the time, especially when money starts getting involved. Grindr has a shitty reputation for a reason, and getting upset over three dicks in a sea of assholes is pointless ¯\_(ツ)\_/¯

Edited May 9, 2018 by Cody Converse

[+ sniper]

TG, seems likely to me they just don't want a discussion about illegal activity that contains their picture in the upper left corner preserved in perpetuity once they've decided(for whatever reason) not to go with you. Suppose they said not then you got hostile, screenshotted the conversation and posted it all over the internet? That could cause them trouble.

[MikeBiDude]

TG, seems likely to me they just don't want a discussion about illegal activity that contains their picture in the upper left corner preserved in perpetuity once they've decided(for whatever reason) not to go with you. Suppose they said not then you got hostile, screenshotted the conversation and posted it all over the internet? That could cause them trouble.

This as @sniper says...and I also think some just test waters requesting “gen”. Maybe a friend tried it and it worked out, maybe they need some quick funds. They chat, but as it becomes closer to the “rubber meets the road” they get nervous. Blocking, ghosting, disappearing is the hallmark of (lack of ) open communication skills among our younger generation.