Is male beauty wasted on women?

[Guest]

I recently hired a great escort that I found out after the fact that he's gay for pay. I wouldn't have hired him had I known, but he's the best sex I've had with a straight man. In particular, he was very affectionate and a great kisser. He's also done a good deal of gay porn. We had a good amount of time for pillow talk afterwards, and I asked him about his experiences. He said that when he goes to gay bars, men are all over him, but when he goes to straight bars, women couldn't care less how handsome he is. In fact, he was having girlfriend problems. I asked him if he had ever wished he were gay, and to my surprise he never had. I asked him if it had ever occurred to him how pleasant his life might be if he were gay, but he expressed gratitude for being straight. I must confess I felt frustrated that his beauty seemed completely wasted in the straight world. No woman could ever appreciate him like a man could. According to him, women are only interested in how well a man can provide. Have any of you ever met a straight man who wished he were gay? I just can't wrap myself around how that man's greatest asset, his beauty, only comes into play when he interacts with the gay world, yet he'd never want to be gay.

[jjkrkwood]

Broad, sweeping generalizations.... there must be something to the male/female attraction thing ? There sure are lots of hetero couples..... but its widely believed woman are generally more concerned with the "emotional" than the "physical"....

[+ StLouisOct]

My opinion, having had sex with only women for 40 years and having enjoyed every second of it, is that your guy is gay and doesn't realize/admit it. I've never heard of a good looking guy who wasn't attractive to women -- and if he was attracted to them he'd be one busy guy.

[Chuckball]

I think we put too much emphasis on labels. When a guy is in bed with another man, enjoying himself kissing, sucking, etc., does it really matter if he identifies himself as straight? I see the label of " gay for pay" as a ruse to cover the fact that an individual has rigidity in his conception of sexuality. Why do we insist on labels anyway?

[+ sniper]

I'm wondering if it also has to do with how he treats the women. He may be so accustomed to men falling all over him that he isn't really making an effort with women and that is what they are reacting to.

[jjkrkwood]

A "pretty boy" just sitting around actting cocky and like he's God's gift does nothing for ME..... That's akin to being a douchebag. Looks fade so you better develop a personality. Even a house full of cats will react to how you treat THEM....

[Rudynate]

I have known women who appreciate men in the way gay men appreciate them, but they are unusual. A woman's appreciation of a man is more subdued and abstract.

[+ sniper]

A "pretty boy" just sitting around actting cocky and like he's God's gift does nothing for ME..... That's akin to being a douchebag. Looks fade so you better develop a personality. Even a house full of cats will react to how you treat THEM....

 

To be fair, there are plenty of men who do this of all attractiveness levels. I know several "nice guys" who are pretty average in the looks/earnings department who don't seem to think they should have to try in any way to impress a woman - "she should like me for who I am" - to which I reply "Someone who makes no effort whatsoever?"

[MikeyGMin]

I don't think male beauty is "wasted" or lost on women at all. I think what you're young man is experiencing is just the basic difference in the way that men are used to pursuing and women expect to be pursued.

 

In a gay bar, older men, and even other hot young guys, will approach him. However, in a straight bar, I assume he is only really paying attention to young attractive women. These women have been pursued and fawned over since they were teenagers. I don't care how attractive he is the playing field is level because attractive straight women are acutely aware of their own value.

[TruthBTold]

I believe that women do consider a man's looks. In every movie at the outset taking place in a bar the women always look over and focus on the guy that they find physically attractive. However, once they actually meet and talk, etc. the woman will make a lot of her decisions based on her emotional feelings toward him not just his physical attractiveness. She will find him good looking but she will also find him nice and kind, etc. And really the nicer and kinder she finds him the more attractive he will seem. But I believe in most instances the same thing happens with gay men. A man will zero in on a guy's good looks but that will only take the partner so far. If he is an ass hole he is not going to seem so attractive.

[+ WilliamM]

According to him, women are only interested in how well a man can provide.

 

Exactly, if an exaggeration.

[P Gren]

I think we put too much emphasis on labels. When a guy is in bed with another man, enjoying himself kissing, sucking, etc., does it really matter if he identifies himself as straight? I see the label of " gay for pay" as a ruse to cover the fact that an individual has rigidity in his conception of sexuality. Why do we insist on labels anyway?

Because they can be an important and useful tool in sorting out a complex world that we share with others.

[+ Avalon]

Only a male can truly appreciate another male. It's only been a century or so that a male and female could have a non sexual friendship.

[jjkrkwood]

I really dont have the time or inclination to figure out a woman's psyche when it comes to men. I have enough problems with the man on man shit....

[MikeBiDude]

In every movie at the outset taking place in a bar the women always look over and focus on the guy that they find physically attractive

Ummm, movies aren’t real life.

[+ WilliamM]

I just can't wrap myself around how that man's greatest asset, his beauty, only comes into play when he interacts with the gay world, yet he'd never want to be gay.

 

It's not an asset at all if that's all he has to offer. And, in time. that asset will be less important than a good brain and/or a kind spirit and disposition.

[+ WilliamM]

I must confess I felt frustrated that his beauty seemed completely wasted in the straight world. No woman could ever appreciate him like a man could.

 

He's straight and not looking for a relationship with a man.

 

How do you conclude "no woman could ever appreciate him like a man could." This is about what he wants.

[+ FreshFluff]

I recently hired a great escort that I found out after the fact that he's gay for pay. I wouldn't have hired him had I known, but he's the best sex I've had with a straight man. In particular, he was very affectionate and a great kisser. He's also done a good deal of gay porn. We had a good amount of time for pillow talk afterwards, and I asked him about his experiences. He said that when he goes to gay bars, men are all over him, but when he goes to straight bars, women couldn't care less how handsome he is. In fact, he was having girlfriend problems. I asked him if he had ever wished he were gay, and to my surprise he never had. I asked him if it had ever occurred to him how pleasant his life might be if he were gay, but he expressed gratitude for being straight. I must confess I felt frustrated that his beauty seemed completely wasted in the straight world. No woman could ever appreciate him like a man could. According to him, women are only interested in how well a man can provide. Have any of you ever met a straight man who wished he were gay?

 

My response would be "yes" and "no." What you call beauty is wasted,especially above the 75th percentile or so. And if a guy is powerful and tall, then his looks are wasted altogether.

 

And yet, there are message boards full of straight men who believe that improving their looks through surgery will net them women. They post photos of male models on Tinder and claim that they get inundated with responses. They are obsessed with particular features, like long, narrow "hunter" eyes. I've definitely noticed that the men I'm most attracted to do indeed have this feature.

 

I just can't wrap myself around how that man's greatest asset, his beauty, only comes into play when he interacts with the gay world, yet he'd never want to be gay.

 

That's like asking why smart, successful women don't want to be men. This is all they know.

[+ sniper]

My response would be "yes" and "no." What you call beauty is wasted,especially above the 75th percentile or so. And if a guy is powerful and tall, then his looks are wasted altogether.

 

And yet, there are message boards full of straight men who believe that improving their looks through surgery will net them women. They post photos of male models on Tinder and claim that they get inundated with responses. They are obsessed with particular features, like long, narrow "hunter" eyes. I've definitely noticed that the men I'm most attracted to do indeed have this feature.

 

 

 

That's like asking why smart, successful women don't want to be men. This is all they know.

I have a couple of male friends who back in college and up through about 40 were quite good-looking, but they were only about 5'7". They were pretty bitter about not being taller and felt that they would trade looks for height in a second.

Funny think is I suspect both of them SHOULD have been taller, but stunted their growth cutting weight for wrestling. One has three brothers who are between 5 and 8 inches taller, and the other has a lot of cousins who are tall.

[+ quoththeraven]

Yes, men's looks matter, but not as much as they do in gay culture. Personality means more.

 

My experience is a little different from others regarding how much status matters. My ex had less education than I did and worked in a lower status job.

 

Also women don't necessarily marry or live with the person who is the best lover out of all the men they've dated.

[+ FreshFluff]

I asked him if he had ever wished he were gay, and to my surprise he never had. I asked him if it had ever occurred to him how pleasant his life might be if he were gay, but he expressed gratitude for being straight. I must confess I felt frustrated that his beauty seemed completely wasted in the straight world. No woman could ever appreciate him like a man could. According to him, women are only interested in how well a man can provide. Have any of you ever met a straight man who wished he were gay? I just can't wrap myself around how that man's greatest asset, his beauty, only comes into play when he interacts with the gay world, yet he'd never want to be gay.

 

Unicorn, the same is true of you and nearly every 50+ client reading this. Your success as a doctor is completely wasted in the gay world. Instead of hiring, you could be pursued and fawned over by attractive 35+ women. Do you wish you were straight?

 

Edit: Even if you're only interested in women between 28-35, you would still have an easier time landing them than you would men of the same age--especially if you're willing to court them.

[+ WilliamM]

Unicorn, the same is true of you and nearly every 50+ client reading this. Your success as a doctor is completely wasted in the gay world. Instead of hiring, you could be pursued and fawned over by attractive 35+ women. Do you wish you were straight?

 

+1

[+ harey]

The OP compares attention at a gay bar to a straight bar. Yeah...gay guys who are drunk basically act like 15-year-olds. Women are a bit more complicated. This isn't new information. No, male beauty isn't wasted on women. They may want more than that, and more than 10 minutes in a back room.

 

I had a similar conversation with an escort earlier this year. He said he feels like a piece of meat at both gay and straight bars, because he gets propositioned so often and not taken seriously when he wants to strike up a conversation. I told him to try buttoning his shirt.

[+ WilliamM]

The OP compares attention at a gay bar to a straight bar. Yeah...gay guys who are drunk basically act like 15-year-olds. Women are a bit more complicated. This isn't new information. No, male beauty isn't wasted on women. They may want more than that, and more than 10 minutes in a back room.

 

 

I have never been to a bar where gay guys who are drunk basically act like 15- year-olds.

 

Not all women are more complicated and not all men are less complicated. But, in a general sense, you are right.

[+ FreshFluff]

I had a similar conversation with an escort earlier this year. He said he feels like a piece of meat at both gay and straight bars, because he gets propositioned so often and not taken seriously when he wants to strike up a conversation.

 

So are women propositioning him or ignoring him? Or is he saying that he's getting propositioned by men but ignored by women?