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Dinner After?

JEC

By + JEC
in Questions About Hiring

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JEC Grand Master

+ JEC

Posted
Posted

I have an upcoming meeting with a provider 4-6 PM which would lend itself to dinner after. I will be traveling on business at the time, and honestly have no problem eating by myself, but am willing to take the gent to dinner and some conversation. However I'm not interested in paying for the 2-3 hours of time for dinner (not a cheapskate, but also not that lonely). Should I propose this as an option, or does this come across as trying to get something (time) for nothing?

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Strafe13 Mentor

Strafe13

Posted
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It never hurts to ask.

 

I've done this before, and sometimes the guy will say "yes," especially if we have good chemistry, and he's got no other plans. More often than not the answer's a polite "no," which is also just fine. I usually make the request after we're dressed and he's been paid, to serve as an implicit but well-understood sign that this will be not be a professional encounter. When/if the dinner goes well, it will usually result in a substantial tip at our next session, and I'm far more likely to book multiple future appointments

 

With respect to initial requests, I've often wondered about coming off as trying to get "free time," when my true interest is in getting to know the escort as a person, rather than as a professional. I'm a very private person, and am often described as an introvert, so I typically enjoy dining and other purportedly social activities alone. I don't ask tfor the purpose of getting an evening session for the price of an hour-long session. To the contrary, I enjoy learning about real people, and when I feel a connection with an escort, or simply find him interesting beyond physical intimacy, I then want to know a bit more about him, and not just his stage persona.

 

Some escorts are so lovely as to allow me a peak at their more authentic selves. Others like to maintain a strict boundary. Both paths are acceptable, in my book. Just be as sincere and tactful as you can when making your request. If the guy takes offense, you can explain your true reasoning. I'd hope that a really good guy wouldn't then hold anything against you. If he does, even, after you've explained, then he's not a guy you'd want to eat with, nor is he probably the kind of escort you'd want to be a regular, unless the physical part was so amazing.

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BluDay Rising Star

BluDay

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If you connect well, toward the end of the session tell him you're heading to dinner after and you would be willing to treat him, but work in that it's off his clock to avoid confusion.

 

Don't be offended if he can't make it - he may have other plans, and the reality is sessions with us clients are actual work (meaning it's their job, not that that can't enjoy them). The man may just want to get home and veg out.

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LaffingBear Veteran

LaffingBear

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Posted
I've had a lot of escorts do stuff off the clock. But

 

I always propose it in a manner that benefits them.

 

I'll ask what their plans are as we dress. If they're hungry, I'll offer visitors dining advice, to buy lunch, etc. If its the gym, I'll offer a ride. Visitors usually don't have cars, so rides are often accepted. I've had guys accept offers to provide a tour of San Francisco. I've even taken guys shopping. Fitness-buffs appreciate a ride to Whole Foods, where we can sit in the cafe and chat over coffee or healthy food.

 

But its always about what they want to do, never about getting them to join me for what I want. And, its always a very casual request, and a no-attitude acknowledgement if they decline. Most decline, I'd estimate 20% say yes.

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wearytraveller Community Regular

wearytraveller

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One time I rented a hotel room for an encounter with a visiting service provider. He was passing through and needed a place to stay for the night, so in addition to agreeing to pay his fee, I told him he could have the room for the night as well. The encounter went very well, at least I thought so. A few days later we chatted again and he told me he was passing through on his way back home. I told him I didn't have the time to meet for another encounter but would love to buy him brunch or lunch before he flew home. He said yes, but that in addition to brunch he would need to be paid for his time as well; I politely declined. I wasn't offended or angry but it did put the whole encounter in a different light. Many professionals are selling their time, whether it's a doctor, accountant or lawyer, if you're sitting in their office, they're charging you whether you are getting professional advice or are just shooting the shit ... I guess the same can be said for escorts.

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jjkrkwood Grand Master

jjkrkwood

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Posted
I have an upcoming meeting with a provider 4-6 PM which would lend itself to dinner after. I will be traveling on business at the time, and honestly have no problem eating by myself, but am willing to take the gent to dinner and some conversation. However I'm not interested in paying for the 2-3 hours of time for dinner (not a cheapskate, but also not that lonely). Should I propose this as an option, or does this come across as trying to get something (time) for nothing?

 

 

I really dont think the escorts main purpose is "conversation", especially off the clock and for Free. It's a job, they like to EARN money. and YES it looks like you are trying to get something for nothing. BUT you never know, he may be hungry, so just ask, BUT be ready to be turned down.

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Charlie Grand Master

+ Charlie

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First of all, I wouldn't plan on taking him to dinner afterwards in advance. Asking him beforehand means that he has to schedule time with you that he can't use for something else. I would see how the appt went, and decide at the end. Then, if you would like to go to dinner with him, suggest it, but make clear that it is off the clock, and then he can decide whether he is free, hungry, and wants to spend more time with you in social chitchat.

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SuperJunior Proficient

SuperJunior

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Posted
I really dont think the escorts main purpose is "conversation", especially off the clock and for Free. It's a job, they like to EARN money. and YES it looks like you are trying to get something for nothing. BUT you never know, he may be hungry, so just ask, BUT be ready to be turned down.

 

Lordy. That punctuation makes me sad. Anyway, please explain the "main purpose" of an escort. Thanks. You're a gem.

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