When an escort isn't a good fit

[+ Tarte Gogo]

it's there to see if the wine has gone bad in some way

It is to check if the wine is corked, which happens on about 1% of bottles with a real cork (more for some wines, less for others)

 

It should not be necessary to ask you to check bottles that have any other sort of tops.

And yes, the waiter is not asking you if you like it, he is only asking you to check if it is corked, since he cannot drink your wine himself to figure it out, that would be rude.

 

Later edit: oops, just read @LaffingBear 's reply to this, now I am just repeating him.

[BaronArtz]

Curious what others have done : I drove 45 minutes to meet a well-reviewed escort but when I entered his apartment I felt that the energy wasn't right and that we wouldn't connect. I told him so right away and he got instantly testy, telling me I'd still have to pay the full fee since he had held the time open. When I pointed out that it was an off-peak time (mid afternoon on a weekday), and that I would spend 1 1/2 hours of my time "for nothing" and things like this can happen on occasion, he told me "we had a contract" and how could I tell there wasn't good energy when we hadn't even spoken more than a few words. Rather than allow the situation to escalate, I suggested paying him half (which he said was fine) and promptly left. Just to be clear, he did look like his pictures, but unfortunately chemistry is something only known in person. This is only the second time in my life this has happened. Thoughts?

 

People like you give clients a bad name. Stop hiring escorts.

[Good Grief]

People like you give clients a bad name. Stop hiring escorts.

 

[rvwnsd]

Curious what others have done : I drove 45 minutes to meet a well-reviewed escort but when I entered his apartment I felt that the energy wasn't right and that we wouldn't connect. I told him so right away...

Curious: did you say "Gosh, I'm sorry, this isn't going to work out but let me pay you because I booked time with you?"

 

... and he got instantly testy, telling me I'd still have to pay the full fee since he had held the time open....

OK, so you didn't.

...When I pointed out that it was an off-peak time (mid afternoon on a weekday), and that I would spend 1 1/2 hours of my time "for nothing" and things like this can happen on occasion, he told me "we had a contract"...

 

A couple of things:

1. The transit authority recognizes "peak" vs "off-peak" times. He isn't the transit authority. He held open a spot for you expecting to be paid. You decided not to spend the entire time with him through no fault of his, so you owe him the fee for the allotted time.
   
2. You made the decision to cancel the appointment, so your hour and a half is on you, not him.
   
3. You could easily have gone through with the appointment
   
4. I'll agree that you did not really have a "contract," per se. Rather, you had an agreement to pay him for a time period.
   

 

...and how could I tell there wasn't good energy when we hadn't even spoken more than a few words....

I was wondering the same thing, myself.

 

...Rather than allow the situation to escalate, I suggested paying him half (which he said was fine) and promptly left....

Actually, the situation had already escalated. He de-escalated by accepting your offer of half his fee, which is exactly half of what you owed him at that point.

 

... Just to be clear, he did look like his pictures, but unfortunately chemistry is something only known in person. This is only the second time in my life this has happened. Thoughts?

Agree that chemistry can often be established only in person. Not so sure that it can be established so quickly, but everyone is different. However, you chose to cancel on a guy who presented himself exactly as advertised. As others have stated, you could have given chemistry more time to be established or gone through with the playdate with the understanding you would get off and not repeat, but you decided to cancel immediately upon entering his place. That's your prerogative, but the price of exercising that prerogative is to pay his fee.

[Rudynate]

I got together with a guy last week - short built Latin Guy, big hairy chest, big shoulders, heavy beard, smoldering looks. Yet we didn't quite click. It wasn't bad by any means, just sort of ho-hum. I kind of want to go back and see if we could do better. I've been waiting for a guy like him to turn up.

[Nvr2Thick]

When I meet an escort who isn't a good fit I just ask him to use more lube.

[+ WilliamM]

The offer of half the rate, and his willingness to accept it, seems fair.

 

One reason why I am sorry escort agencies barely exist anymore.

 

If it did not work out, most agencies would have given you half of your money back. But, the client would have to make an effort to put his initial reaction on pause.

[Stormy]

I would at least give it a try. At least ask for a sensual massage, keep your eyes closed and think of the guy of your dreams. As long as the pics were accurate, I think you are obligated to pay the fee.

[Guest]

To be fair any escort would become "testy" if you client books you, client shows up and then says it isn't a match and wants to leave without paying anything. Sure you guys didnt have sex but that is time wasted that the escort could have booked someone else in your place, and plus time the escort has to prep before the meet up. But at least you paid him half even though you had to fight it a little

Personally I would want to be paid something, doesn't have to be the full amount as we didnt have sex but I would have been happy with half.

 

P.S you said the guy looked like his pictures so he wasnt deceiving you... you should have gone through the 1 hour meeting, and who knows the chemistry may have been bad and the sex could have been good.... and if it was still bad you just don't see them again, best to go through with it to avoid conflict. (only if he is the guy in the pictures but their is "lack of chemistry"

[tennisjock]

This has happened to me several times and the first time I went thru with it..the others I just said "I don't think this will work" then put the entire owed sum on the table and just leave .

[Jomo]

This has happened to me several times and the first time I went thru with it..the others I just said "I don't think this will work" then put the entire owed sum on the table and just leave .

Tennis jock has the right approach here

[LaffingBear]

Later edit: oops, just read @LaffingBear 's reply to this, now I am just repeating him.

 

Yes, but you can take comfort in having repeated accurate and intelligent comments, from a very reliable, and oh-so-humble, source.

 

[MartyB]

When I meet an escort who isn't a good fit I just ask him to use more lube.

Best response I've read on this subject. Perfect

[njr47]

At least in California (and other states, as well), a binding contract seems to have existed----perhaps not enforceable, unless a court agreed that the contract was for time and companionship alone. To be legally binding, most contracts don't need to be written or signed. So long as there is an oral offer, acceptance and agreement on price (here probably corroborated by emails or texts) a contract exists.

[top_guy_atl]

The energy that wasn't right was totally yours. He got testy when you tried to stiff him on his fee and then you say "things like this happen". Sounds to me like you don't know how to treat people.

[Decatur Guy]

I'm with the majority here. I think you owe the whole fee, and I think the escort was very gracious to accept half.

 

I met up with Daddy's superstar -- everyone was talking about hot great he was -- and it was an OK meeting. It rarely happens to me, but it's just the way it sometimes goes. He didn't get a tip, but he got his full fee. And I never hired him again. He did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong, for that matter, except maybe meet him after work, which I've learned through trial and error to meet up on my days off. It just didn't spark like I thought it would, but we both tried.

 

I did walk out on a guy once when he started talking about steroid rage and his other drug issues within two minutes of meeting him. That was a different situation.

[Cannon]

I could understand if the provider misrepresented himself with fake photos or if he refused to provide the service he agreed to, BUT the provider held up his end of the agreement, and you did not. Per your own account of events, he looked like his photos and was willing to give the service and didn't become "testy" until after YOU reneged on the agreed upon terms. Anyone would be a little pissed. You were not obligated to go on with the service of course, that is definitely your choice, however, you were obligated to pay him his full rate because he did everything he was supposed to do and he reserved that time for you.... time that he could have reserved for someone else. It sounds like the escort exhibited a lot of class by just accepting half of his fee and concluding the visit. i think it was kind of distasteful of you not to pay him in full. It showed a lack of respect for his time. This is the kind of client I think that most escorts try to avoid.

[BoyBerlin]

Curious what others have done : I drove 45 minutes to meet a well-reviewed escort but when I entered his apartment I felt that the energy wasn't right and that we wouldn't connect. I told him so right away and he got instantly testy, telling me I'd still have to pay the full fee since he had held the time open. When I pointed out that it was an off-peak time (mid afternoon on a weekday), and that I would spend 1 1/2 hours of my time "for nothing" and things like this can happen on occasion, he told me "we had a contract" and how could I tell there wasn't good energy when we hadn't even spoken more than a few words. Rather than allow the situation to escalate, I suggested paying him half (which he said was fine) and promptly left. Just to be clear, he did look like his pictures, but unfortunately chemistry is something only known in person. This is only the second time in my life this has happened. Thoughts?

 

You are probably looking for a "chemistry" that simply isn't going to exist when you pay for sex. If you are going to continue to pay for sex this unfortunately is something you will just need to accept. If the escort was as described in the ad/photos, wasn't high on drugs or totally strange you should have either paid and left or gone through with it (the lack of chemistry could have just been your initial nerves). I have been with guys who said they were versatile and I would get there and they would refuse to get fucked.. Sure, this pisses me off and in a situation like this I would try to either not pay or get a discounted fee but your situation is different. Its all just part of taking the good with the bad when its not exactly a very regulated client focused industry we are taking part in...

[wklucas]

Curious what others have done : I drove 45 minutes to meet a well-reviewed escort but when I entered his apartment I felt that the energy wasn't right and that we wouldn't connect. I told him so right away and he got instantly testy, telling me I'd still have to pay the full fee since he had held the time open. When I pointed out that it was an off-peak time (mid afternoon on a weekday), and that I would spend 1 1/2 hours of my time "for nothing" and things like this can happen on occasion, he told me "we had a contract" and how could I tell there wasn't good energy when we hadn't even spoken more than a few words. Rather than allow the situation to escalate, I suggested paying him half (which he said was fine) and promptly left. Just to be clear, he did look like his pictures, but unfortunately chemistry is something only known in person. This is only the second time in my life this has happened. Thoughts?

 

In the future, you should probably only hire from guys who include in their ads the offer of "no obligation on arrival".....not super common, but those ads do exist.....In this instance, you owed the guy in full.....your citing the appointment having been scheduled at an off-peak time as an excuse in part for being allowed to walk away is also lame & laughable.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

A bit telling that for all of this sturm und drang, the op hasn't come back to reply to any of it

[+ Kufrol]

A bit telling that for all of this sturm und drang, the op hasn't come back to reply to any of it

"Sturm und drang" ... When I taught high school English, we touched briefly on Goethe, and I'd play some Haydn and Mozart. Goth and emo kids' ears would perk up (many of them were among my brightest and most creative students), and the others could relate. I hadn't thought about that phrase in years.

[+ WilliamM]

A bit telling that for all of this sturm und drang, the op hasn't come back to reply to any of it

 

The OP did pay half and quotes the escort as being o.k. with it.

 

So it is unclear whether his request for "thoughts" is still valid.

Given that most people believe he was wrong to not pay the full amount, what more can he write? I wish that he had second thoughts about not paying the whole amount. But, only the OP

knows what was not right in his opinion about the situation.

[LaffingBear]

A bit telling that for all of this sturm und drang, the op hasn't come back to reply to any of it

One has to wonder... if hes even seen the comments.

 

Perhaps he was initially concerned, posting the question helped him achieve resolve, and has moved on.

[Good Grief]

One has to wonder... if hes even seen the comments.

 

Perhaps he was initially concerned, posting the question helped him achieve resolve, and has moved on.

 

Oh, he's probably read the comments posted until 9.03 pm last evening when he was last on the Forum.

 

Just a hunch, he probably didn't get the hoped-for confirmation of his actions and is smarting due to the deserved verbal thrashings.

 

Skulked off.

[caliguy]

Oh, he's probably read the comments posted until 9.03 pm last evening when he was last on the Forum.

 

Just a hunch, he probably didn't get the hoped-for confirmation of his actions and is smarting due to the deserved verbal thrashings.

 

Skulked off.

I love a good thrashing. As long as I'm not on the receiving end of it.