Would you take your son to Comic Con dressed like this?

[Larstrup]

I think suppressing who they ARE is a worse punishment and far more damaging to them then the possibility of a potential random attack.

 

Yes, I agree. And while it's July, it seems to be appropriate.

 

[+ sync]

I think suppressing who they ARE is a worse punishment and far more damaging to them then the possibility of a potential random attack. It is no less plausible then being attacked for race, color, religion or sexuality that EVERY person is subject too unless they are lily WHITE and heterosexual.... So YES, I agree to disagree with you.

 

Agreed. We're done here.

[+ poolboy48220]

We all may fantasize about what we should do, and wishfully think we would do the right thing, but no one of us knows what he would actually do in the target situation.

I was struck by this back in 2004, when Michigan voted to amend its Constitution to ban gay marriage. I asked a friend to put up a sign on her lawn; she was the last person I thought would hesitate, but she did, because of her husband's business (a pretty big florist chain) and fearing repercussions from the neighbors that might affect the business.

[BasketBaller]

There's a huge difference between dressing like this for Comic Con or a similar event, where cosplay is a big deal and there will be crowds of people in all manner of costumes including some that are actually pretty kinky, and wearing an outfit like this anywhere else.

 

http://www.thisisinsider.com/san-diego-comic-con-cosplay-best-costumes-sdcc-2017-7

 

From my few visits to a comics/fantasy convention, no one there would bat an eye. If Schrieber's son wanted to wear this to school, well, that might be bad idea.

[rvwnsd]

There's a huge difference between dressing like this for Comic Con or a similar event, where cosplay is a big deal and there will be crowds of people in all manner of costumes including some that are actually pretty kinky, and wearing an outfit like this anywhere else.

 

http://www.thisisinsider.com/san-diego-comic-con-cosplay-best-costumes-sdcc-2017-7

 

From my few visits to a comics/fantasy convention, no one there would bat an eye. If Schrieber's son wanted to wear this to school, well, that might be bad idea.

Agreed.

 

Cosplay is one of the reasons people attend ComicCon. It is analogous to events like IML, which gives adults who wish to express themselves by wearing all manner of leather a place to do so. I guarantee you, Liev Schreiber's son is NOT the most outrageously dressed kid at ComicCon.

[jjkrkwood]

I dont think sync or anyone else here was disputing wearing the costume to the Event. I believe the conversation had evolved past that since an outrageous costume at Comic con is analagous to wearing a toga to a toga party. It's just something you do. I believe the differing opinions were whether you might allow a male child to dress female in general public ? At least THAT was what I was commenting on.

[BasketBaller]

Just another wrinkle-- the kid dressed as a "bloody bride" for Halloween. Scroll down for a picture.

 

http://hellogiggles.com/liev-schreibers-son-dressed-as-harley-quinn/

[bigvalboy]

Just another wrinkle-- the kid dressed as a "bloody bride" for Halloween. Scroll down for a picture.

 

http://hellogiggles.com/liev-schreibers-son-dressed-as-harley-quinn/

 

I'm still not seeing the problem.

"At Halloween this year, Kai went as a bloody bride, because who says little boys have to dress up as zombies and pirates and little girls have to be princesses and brides?"

"We love that Schreiber gives his son the freedom to express himself in a non-gendered way. If Harley Quinn is your queen, then express yourself!"

[+ purplekow]

Yes, I agree. And while it's July, it seems to be appropriate.

 

Must admit they had me believing this was not a put on at the beginning. To tell you the truth, I am still not 100% sure that it is, which is disturbing.

[BasketBaller]

I'm still not seeing the problem.

"At Halloween this year, Kai went as a bloody bride, because who says little boys have to dress up as zombies and pirates and little girls have to be princesses and brides?"

 

"We love that Schreiber gives his son the freedom to express himself in a non-gendered way. If Harley Quinn is your queen, then express yourself!"

Nor I, just thought it was an interesting addition to the story.

[KennF]

I would try to be supportive, but would not permit it. I would try to somehow explain that society is just too ugly-dangerous towards males who dress as females. It would probably put a chill on parent/child relations for awhile, but so be it.

 

LOL. You've never been to Comic Con, I guess.

 

This has NOTHING to do with cross dressing. Comic Con, Dragon Con, Origins, Gen Con, etc... all gaming conventions that costuming is the norm. Cross Dressing is not at issue... dressing like ANY Super-Hero/Super-Villian/Comic Character/Movie Character/TV Character... that's the thing to do.

 

And people there couldn't care less about your gender when you're dressing in costume. The only thing they care about is how good the costume is and does it remind them of the character.

[+ sync]

LOL. You've never been to Comic Con, I guess.

 

This has NOTHING to do with cross dressing. Comic Con, Dragon Con, Origins, Gen Con, etc... all gaming conventions that costuming is the norm. Cross Dressing is not at issue... dressing like ANY Super-Hero/Super-Villian/Comic Character/Movie Character/TV Character... that's the thing to do.

 

And people there couldn't care less about your gender when you're dressing in costume. The only thing they care about is how good the costume is and does it remind them of the character.

 

Don't care. Don't want a male child to think it's okay to dress as a female any old time and walk around randomly (too dangerous). As I mentioned in an earlier post, there is less danger in a heavily populated, controlled environment.

[escortrod]

Don't care. Don't want a male child to think it's okay to dress as a female any old time and walk around randomly (too dangerous). As I mentioned in an earlier post, there is less danger in a heavily populated, controlled environment.

I guess teaching a child about social context is an alternative to just saying no.

[marylander1940]

I had to google "Harley Quinn"

 

Huh? I thought this forum was full of nerds, specially the younger crowd (below 35ish y/o)

 

Just in case some of yinz are shy to ask:

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA73-n99wiU

 

Do you really think that is likely to happen to a child at Comic Con, especially when accompanied by a parent?

 

Now a days bullying is mostly done online, yet I'm sure it keeps happening in school's cafeterias, etc.

 

Would anybody mess with him (the child) if his dad is rich and famous?

 

I guess teaching a child about social context is an alternative to just saying no.

 

you can do both, actions have consequences, folks do judge each other.

[Guest DeepSouthDad53]

Glad I aint got no kids...now whez me beeyuh?

[KennF]

Don't care. Don't want a male child to think it's okay to dress as a female any old time and walk around randomly (too dangerous). As I mentioned in an earlier post, there is less danger in a heavily populated, controlled environment.

 

You're welcome to feel that way.

 

I disagree with the messages you're sending and don't think it works.

 

First, the son wants to express himself as a Super Villian Sidekick. He's aware of the foibles and dangers based strictly on the comics he's already reading. He's currently identifying himself as punk and non-conformist (Harley Quinn is in no way a conformist).

 

He wants to share his expressions and experiences with other, like minded, nerds and geeks and artists, at Comic Con. Comic Con is a great (and safe) place to express non-conforming ideas.

 

But, the message you're sending is it isn't okay to express yourself. Suppress and conform. Be afraid of people and don't let them see you.

 

I'd expect the likely outcome of such a restriction to be the opposite of your desire. That, instead, he's going to take behind your back or make it even louder and more dangerous. Or, worse, suppress himself and later have closet issues or regrets.

 

Just a difference of opinion, I guess.

[escortrod]

I'd expect the likely outcome of such a restriction to be the opposite of your desire. That, instead, he's going to take behind your back or make it even louder and more dangerous. Or, worse, suppress himself and later have closet issues or regrets.

Funnily enough this is precisely what happened when my grandmother tried to stop me from experimenting with stuff as a kid (mascara, kids wedge shoes, a rainbow coloured umbrella). I still did the stuff she didn't like, but hid it from her. And I still resent her attempts to make me conform to this day.

[+ quoththeraven]

On the larger question of cross-dressing or whatever as opposed to the specific cosplay at issue, it would be irresponsible not to discuss safety issues, just as parents of black children (boys especially) have to talk to their children about how to protect themselves against state violence. But it would be equally irresponsible not to address a child's preferences regarding gender expression.

 

The argument in favor of suppressing any non-conformity elevates safety over happiness. Gay men and women would not have made social progress if they'd all stayed in the closet. The same is true of trans and enby (non-binary) individuals.

 

Ultimately, it's up to each person, once adult, to decide how open to be about this. But it's still to some extent a privilege compared to people whose non-conformity to social norms, and thus their vulnerability to ostracism and attack, is obvious. (Leaving aside that pursuing social norms for their own sake is largely a mirage.)

[KennF]

The argument in favor of suppressing any non-conformity elevates safety over happiness.

 

Too true. Sometimes you can keep someone so safe, that you smother their identity.

[+ sync]

First, the son wants to express himself as a Super Villian Sidekick. He's aware of the foibles and dangers based strictly on the comics he's already reading. He's currently identifying himself as punk and non-conformist (Harley Quinn is in no way a conformist).

 

Am I correctly understanding that you believe reading of the "foibles and dangers based strictly on the comics" prepares children for life's real dangers?

 

Funnily enough this is precisely what happened when my grandmother tried to stop me from experimenting with stuff as a kid (mascara, kids wedge shoes, a rainbow coloured umbrella). I still did the stuff she didn't like, but hid it from her. And I still resent her attempts to make me conform to this day.

 

I'm curious to know how your grandmother approached you. Did she explain the dangers in the streets for boys appearing too feminine, or was it just a straight, outright forbidding you to experiment?

 

I understand that by today's values my approach leans towards over-protective, but, if I got a call to identify my savagely beaten cross-dressed son, I would have some solace in knowing that I tried. I'm sure my leanings are influenced by knowing of two cross-dressing males who, on separate occasions, were attacked and beaten. One of them did not survive his beating.

[escortrod]

I'm curious to know how your grandmother approached you. Did she explain the dangers in the streets for boys appearing too feminine, or was it just a straight, outright forbidding you to experiment?

It was the latter. Her concern wasn't for my safety. But the end result was the same.

[marylander1940]

It was the latter. Her concern wasn't for my safety. But the end result was the same.

 

Funny coming from a nation famous for men wearing skirts (kilts) without underwear. You should have said: "Thanks for the mixed messages of what's socially acceptable, granny"

 

http://www.millsworks.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/queen_kilt_dick.jpeg

 

 

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/09/17/1410974288244_wps_32_Mandatory_Credit_Photo_by.jpg

[KennF]

Am I correctly understanding that you believe reading of the "foibles and dangers based strictly on the comics" prepares children for life's real dangers?

 

You changed my statement from "aware" to "prepare". I never suggested that comics replace parenting to comics. But, rather, parents should understand what messages they and their children are sending.

 

I gather you aren't a comic reader. Harley Quinn is treated poorly and in danger most of her life. Any one reading, and identifying with, the character understands that life is not comfortable and that people are stupid and mean. In that manner, yes, comics help "prepare" a child.

 

Harley Quinn is a conniver and ready to fight. The son, in the OP's situation, would be expressing his feelings that rules aren't fair and he's willing to break them, and fight (covertly and overtly) for what he wants.

 

So, yes, I am suggesting someone who identifies with Harley Quinn isn't the best candidate for a parent to directly forbid. That is, unless the parent wants to be defied and ignored.

 

Also, Comic Con, as with all of the gaming conventions, is all about expressing yourself and respect. I've seen guys dressed like Sailor Moon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Leeloo. I've seen girls dressed as Hans Solo, The Joker, and Jughead. No one thinks it wrong. They judge the costume and how it is made, not the choice to wear it. Although the guy with the beard and belly as Sailor Moon made me question his sanity for different reasons. I mean... Blond hair with a dark brown goatee? Really!? This has nothing to do with cross dressing.

 

You should considering attending one. There are conventions across the US and around the world.

[jjkrkwood]

There are tons of males that are naturally effeminate, without dressing in a way that draws attention to themselves. How do you propose THEY protect themselves in the streets, or should they simply NOT leave their house ever ? The notion of a male dressing only male for protection, and remaining "under cover" is ridiculous. Although noone said "under cover, that's really what is being proposed for these boys who might want to dress anything other than "normal male hetero"...

[bigvalboy]

 

http://i.imgur.com/8mP3FK9.gif