Newbie with a Question

[Trick]

Hi. Trick here.

 

I'm a newbie to this site though I've been lurking for a while.

 

I was in NYC recently and I hired escorts on consecutive nights. One of them topped me BB while pretending to wear a condom. He pulled out and rushed to the bathroom pretending to dispose of it.

 

Another insisted on doing it BB even after I said I wanted to play it safe.

 

I know it's stupid but I let my libido win against my better judgment.

 

What should I have done?

[BabyBoomer]

Stopped the first one.

 

Said no to the second one.

 

~Boomer ~

[Trick]

Stopped the first one.

 

Said no to the second one.

 

~Boomer ~

I knew I should have done that, but I felt like I lost my will power to do so. I was afraid checking for condoms would ruin the moment.

[escortrod]

Are you on PrEP? If not, how recently were you in NYC? If it was within the last 72 hours you may want to consider going to an ER to get PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) in order to reduce your chance of contracting HIV. Not that I'm saying you will have been exposed, but given the potential risk it's worth considering.

[Trick]

I'm not on PrEP

 

I was in NYC 3 weeks ago

[BabyBoomer]

I knew I should have done that, but I felt like I lost my will power to do so. I was afraid checking for condoms would ruin the moment.

 

It's your body & your health. You have to make decisions that are right for you. Don't let anybody else decide.

 

~Boomer ~

[vaguyD]

I would go get tested for anything else that may have been transmitted, and see your HIV results. Then follow up 3-6 weeks later to see if your HIV results are still hopefully negative.

 

Would recommend starting prep too. I think most insurance cover it (mine did at least), and if it doesn't for some the company Gilead provides vouchers to help cover your copays. I have a $30 dollar copay per 3 month supply, but with the voucher it's free.

[LADoug1]

Are you on PrEP? If not, how recently were you in NYC? If it was within the last 72 hours you may want to consider going to an ER to get PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) in order to reduce your chance of contracting HIV. Not that I'm saying you will have been exposed, but given the potential risk it's worth considering.

Not just worth considering. A must-do decision. Too bad the time window has lapsed.

[+ WilliamM]

What should I have done?

 

Follow the advice above.

 

However, it happened to me once as a top, and not with an escort.

[+ sync]

Make this the one-time/last-time lapse in your better judgement. You are the only you you have. Take care of yourself.

[rvwnsd]

Here's what you should have done:

 

#1: Pay closer attention. I'm not sure how someone pretends to use a condom.

#2: Say "no, we will have protected sex or I won't hire you."

 

Here's what you should do now:

1. Get tested for HIV and the various STIs.
   
2. Don't participate in unprotected sex
   
3. Repeat in a month
   
4. Check with your health plan about coverage for Truvada as PrEP
   
5. In two months, talk to a physician about PrEP. If you decide to use it, you will be required to have an HIV test to confirm your negative status.
   
6. If you decide to use PrEP, visit the website of Gilead Pharmaceuticals and sign up for their discount card. It will pay your copay/coinsurance.
   
7. Remember that only you can protect your sexual health
   

[rvwnsd]

Here's what you should have done:

 

#1: Pay closer attention. I'm not sure how someone pretends to use a condom.

#2: Say "no, we will have protected sex or I won't hire you."

 

Here's what you should do now:

1. Get tested for HIV and the various STIs.
   
2. Don't participate in unprotected sex
   
3. Repeat in a month
   
4. Check with your health plan about coverage for Truvada as PrEP
   
5. In two months, talk to a physician about PrEP. If you decide to use it, you will be required to have an HIV test to confirm your negative status.
   
6. If you decide to use PrEP, visit the website of Gilead Pharmaceuticals and sign up for their discount card. It will pay your copay/coinsurance.
   
7. Remember that only you can protect your sexual health
   

[Trick]

Thanks for all your replies and advice.

 

I should really take better care of myself. My problem is that the horniness takes away all my control. I just let the escort have his way.

 

It has happened once or twice that the escort was just teasing my rear with his unprotected dick. Before I could say anything, he's in.

 

Some wear a condom at the start, then pull out, take the condom off, and go back in.

 

In all of these situations, I felt powerless to do anything.

[Trick]

Thanks for all your replies and advice.

 

I should really take better care of myself. My problem is that the horniness takes away all my control. I just let the escort have his way.

 

It has happened once or twice that the escort was just teasing my rear with his unprotected dick. Before I could say anything, he's in.

 

Some wear a condom at the start, then pull out, take the condom off, and go back in.

 

In all of these situations, I felt powerless to do anything.

[+ purplekow]

Just to be real, do not blame the escorts, it seems as though this has happened often enough that you need to admit that you willingly bareback. Cut the "devil made me do it" crap and act as an adult. Get tested. Protect yourself in some way. Grow a spine and stop whining. I know this will come off as harsh to some, but to my mind, you need a good hard slap of reality because it seems that the second a dick touches your ass you lose any control of your brain. So, you need to use your brain before you get there.

[+ purplekow]

Just to be real, do not blame the escorts, it seems as though this has happened often enough that you need to admit that you willingly bareback. Cut the "devil made me do it" crap and act as an adult. Get tested. Protect yourself in some way. Grow a spine and stop whining. I know this will come off as harsh to some, but to my mind, you need a good hard slap of reality because it seems that the second a dick touches your ass you lose any control of your brain. So, you need to use your brain before you get there.

[LADoug1]

Here's what you should have done:

 

#1: Pay closer attention. I'm not sure how someone pretends to use a condom.

#2: Say "no, we will have protected sex or I won't hire you."

 

Here's what you should do now:

1. Get tested for HIV and the various STIs.
   
2. Don't participate in unprotected sex
   
3. Repeat in a month
   
4. Check with your health plan about coverage for Truvada as PrEP
   
5. In two months, talk to a physician about PrEP. If you decide to use it, you will be required to have an HIV test to confirm your negative status.
   
6. If you decide to use PrEP, visit the website of Gilead Pharmaceuticals and sign up for their discount card. It will pay your copay/coinsurance.
   
7. Remember that only you can protect your sexual health
   

Actually it may take 3 months for the infection to be identified.

[LADoug1]

Just to be real, do not blame the escorts, it seems as though this has happened often enough that you need to admit that you willingly bareback. Cut the "devil made me do it" crap and act as an adult. Get tested. Protect yourself in some way. Grow a spine and stop whining. I know this will come off as harsh to some, but to my mind, you need a good hard slap of reality because it seems that the second a dick touches your ass you lose any control of you brain. So, you need to use your brain before you get there.

You're right. Post is harsh.

[MikeBiDude]

I'll go benefit of the doubt here to the OP and say you've all given good advice.

 

But something here makes me feel the OP is getting some sort of vicarious pleasure from his postings?

 

Ok, I'm ready for the "pack attack"

 

I knew I should have done that, but I felt like I lost my will power to do so. I was afraid checking for condoms would ruin the moment.

 

I should really take better care of myself. My problem is that the horniness takes away all my control. I just let the escort have his way.

 

It has happened once or twice that the escort was just teasing my rear with his unprotected dick. Before I could say anything, he's in.

 

Some wear a condom at the start, then pull out, take the condom off, and go back in.

 

In all of these situations, I felt powerless to do anything.

[MikeyGMin]

In all of these situations, I felt powerless to do anything

I won't be as harsh as PK or as skeptical as Mike, but you definitely sound like you have a seriously submissive streak. You have to be enabling, allowing, or even seeking it out in order for there to be multiple occasions.

 

One time is a mistake that you get angry about and are on the lookout for the next time. Multiple occasions means you're getting something out of it, and that's what you need to come to terms with.

[Trick]

Some clarifications:

 

I'm not deriving pleasure from my postings. I'm citing examples of how I ended up in BB situations with escorts.

 

I don't enjoy bareback sex. I am fully aware of the consequences.

 

One has pointed out my submissive streak. I admit this. I'm not one to assert what I want.

 

I'm not here to whine. I was reaching out to this community to ask for advice on these situations.

 

I'm the type of guy that needs to be told what to do.

[bigvalboy]

Harsh? PK's comment wasn't harsh. The OP needed a good slap upside the head. This is serious stuff. There's a time and place for being PC, this is not it...

[N13]

I sympathize with your plight. If being passive means that you have great difficulty confronting or even demurring, may I suggest that you stick to the guys that are absolute in their no bare backing stance. There are a lot of them and you might ask the board whom they would recommend in your area. In the meantime there is nothing you can do other then have yourself checked when the time is ripe for it.

 

Another thing you might want to do is go into therapy to find out why it is easier to put yourself at risk then to be assertive about protecting yourself.

 

Good luck on this!

[MikeyGMin]

Harsh? PK's comment wasn't harsh. The OP needed a good slap upside the head. This is serious stuff. There's a time and place for being PC, this is not it...

It's not about being PC. It's about effective communication. Assuming it's a legitimate request for advice, it's not really effective to tell a submissive bottom to just "man up and stop whining." The practical suggestions above may be more effective with someone who cannot assert themselves.

[bigvalboy]

It's not about being PC. It's about effective communication. Assuming it's a legitimate request for advice, it's not really effective to tell a submissive bottom to just "man up and stop whining." The practical suggestions above may be more effective with someone who cannot assert themselves.

 

I think PK's communication was very effective.