Worst Ever Massage

[BeefyDude]

I had an experience that I think qualifies here. It was so bad I walked out before it even began.

 

I made an appt with this person at noon. Since he is so close I was about ready to walk out the door (5-10 mins before appt). Right as I was walking out the door, he texts me and said noon doesn't work for him, can we do 1. I was already showered and walking out the door but reluctantly agreed.

 

Ive been to this hotel before. Not a 5 start but not bad either. When I got in I asked to use the bathroom. OMG, the toilet looked like a diarrhea bomb was dropped in it - GROSS!!!!! Come on man clean that shit (pun intended) up.

 

He points to the couch which was rolled out to a bed and pointed for me to lay down. I put my hand on it. It was very lumpy. I asked if we could use the bed. He said No followed by "no one else has complained". Well I am and im paying for this.

 

I reluctantly agreed. He demanded the cash up front. Right then I thought NO WAY. He excused himself to wash up. While in the bathroom I put on my shorts, grabbed my shirt etc and walked out (it was a HOT day so no shirt was ok).

[+ Billsboy4]

https://rentmasseur.com/SensualHealing

Advertised erotic, but didn't want to do anything. Massage was so, so (not trained). When we started to play, he didn't want me to look at him because he felt objectified....huh???? When I suggested he should adjust his ad, he got nasty.

[Moe]

Intro: “Darron” is not the dude’s real name, okay? A few years ago, my regular go-to massage guy was unavailable, so I opted for someone new. His ad looked fine and the sparse reviews were decent. The neighborhood where he lived looked like kid-city, and that should have the first clue. The house was a large two-story with two teens shooting hoops in the driveway. Rang the bell and a young boy opened the door. Uh-oh, wrong house, right? He asks if I’m looking for “Darron” - yep, that’s him. So I was led inside where the “mom” was engrossed on her phone and two other kids were watching cartoons. Weird vibes for sure. Darron came bounding up from the lower level and beckoned me to follow him. The basement was dark with some candles around and a massage table all prepared. He was a nice looking guy, dressed in running shorts and tank top. He apologized for the location. Said he was living with his sister and family until he could get his own place. Oh well, whatever. So I stripped down to my shorts and got on the table. Actually the massage was not bad and quickly the shorts came off and we got down to some erotic moves. About the time I was ready for some serious touchy-feely the door opens and a kid yells down, “Mom needs you to come up here” and Darron excuses himself. Uh, okay. I guess. Time passes, my boner fades and I am nekkid on a table in the basement of a house full of kids. So I grab my clothes and start getting dressed when Darron returns, apologizing profusely. Seems there was some emergency, but all’s well. We resume the massage, and all seems quiet - the boner returns. Then I hear a siren in the distance. And it gets louder. And the kid yells that the fucking house is on fire. Am I dreaming? Yep, it’s true, the fire trucks are on the way. I grab my stuff and thank goodness there’s an outside door, so as I’m trying to escape, Darron grabs my arm and says I need to pay him. Like, WTF? I’d only been on the table for maybe a total of 10-12 minutes. I had some 20s in my jeans and scrunched up a couple of them and tossed them as I bounced out the door. By the time I got to my car, the fire trucks had arrived. Didn’t see or smell any smoke. Turns out one of the kids burned a pizza that set off the smoke alarm and another kid called 911. As I’m driving away, Darron texts me that everything is peachy and to please come back. He said he thought I was really hot and he’d make it all up to me. Yeah, right.

 

I would have left the immediately after the child opened the door.

[Madman]

Yikes! There are some really bad experiences in this thread! Compared to some of the stories on here my worst experiences pale in comparison. Really the most I can complain about is the one masseur who did this thing on my back with his feet that resulted in me having sore ribs for a week and another masseur who offered to let me watch him jack off for $20 and got massage oil all over my sheets (I guess that's risk of having an outcall at your own house--I now know to ask what they use for the massage).

 

My first thought was I've been lucky but I must say that the board has likely saved me from some bad experiences so thanks guys! There have been plenty of guys that have passed through town that I've been intrigued by but universally bad feedback on here has made me keep well clear of them.

[+ Just Sayin]

https://rentmasseur.com/SensualHealing

Advertised erotic, but didn't want to do anything. Massage was so, so (not trained). When we started to play, he didn't want me to look at him because he felt objectified....huh???? When I suggested he should adjust his ad, he got nasty.

 

is he the guy whose massage strokes are more like "nibbles" with his hands? if so, I had this internal conversation with myself: "I am not comfortable; I want to get out of here; how do I tell him that?" I left after a few minutes of this; I just said "I am not comfortable and I'm leaving." I know I paid him something but it was less than the full amount agreed upon.

[VersOral]

Rang the bell and a young boy opened the door. Uh-oh, wrong house, right? He asks if I’m looking for “Darron” - yep, that’s him.

 

Did you card him? A little too close to pedophilia from the description

[nycmassageme]

Did you card him? A little too close to pedophilia from the description

 

I had to reread it the first time; the kid who answered the door wasn't Darron. A couple sentences later, "Darron came bounding up from the lower level..."

Edited May 31, 2020 by nycmassageme

[Capitano]

Chicago is reopening tomorrow so I figured I'd check the listings, even though I'll probably wait a little longer before I actually get a massage.

 

And look who I find! One of my worst experiences that I didn't mention in my previous entry.

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/33820/

 

An out of shape straight diva with an astounding menu of upcharges. The only thing missing was a $20 surcharge if you wanted to hang your coat rather than throw it on the ground. Ridiculous.

[Aardvark]

There was a guy I went to a few times that would pretty much chug a gallon of water during the massage. He would inevitably have to pee in the middle of the massage, and do so like a racehorse, loudly and with the door open. I realized eventually that he must have some sort of fetish about people hearing him piss. On the other hand, he was really cheap and offered a nice pre-massage body scrub so... I guess the jokes on me because I went back 4 or 5 times.

[NotMike]

OK the worst was also the first. Many years ago in my 20’s just broke up with a boyfriend. I saw one of those ads in the back of the local gay rag, hot buff guy pictured offering massage, got up the courage and made an appointment. When I got there the man who opened the door was of course not the man in the picture, more of a 60ish sort of Captain Kangaroo with a “Dutch Boy” hair doo. The apartment could only be described as, in the Liberace style on a K-Mart budget.

I was too shy and scared to run, so I stayed. He took off his robe to reveal only red satin boxers. There was a massage table so I got undressed and laid face down, under the towel.

I don’t really remember the massage, I think it was OK but I was too scared to move. There was a point where his big Persian cat jumped on the table and walked along my side. He yelled at the cat but cat kept coming back. Can’t tell what was going on in my head just wanted out of there. I did the turn over, more massage, the the attempt of a happy ending, but being in my 20’s it was quick and easy. After I came he knelt down with his head on the massage table and started praying and crying. I got up, got dressed, put the money by his head and ran out of there left him in the praying crying position in his own world. It was probably another 10 years before I went for another massage.

[+ EVdude]

My worst massage has his very own thread. The guy has been floating around NYC for almost 20 years. He’s served up many worst ever experiences. It’s actually a hilarious read.

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/tantric-fireside-nyc.152750/

[xanadulvr]

Mine was with a Traveling massage guy I saw on RentMasseur. Tatted and had a hot look. When I arrived at his hotel, it reeked of pot and cigarets. Massage was substandard at best. One hour session over in 45 minutes. When I left I felt I had a film of pot and cigaret smoke. My clothes smelled. It was awful.

[wDarling]

After I came he knelt down with his head on the massage table and started praying and crying. I got up, got dressed, put the money by his head and ran out of there left him in the praying crying position in his own world. It was probably another 10 years before I went for another massage.

 

OMG, you think he was praying because of the guilt over what he had done??

[m4same]

My worst massage has his very own thread. The guy has been floating around NYC for almost 20 years. He’s served up many worst ever experiences. It’s actually a hilarious read.

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/tantric-fireside-nyc.152750/

It is a good read and the movie trailer is so bad it is worth watching. Thanks for the chuckles.

[JayBird1000x]

I legit registered specifically because of this thread.

 

the worst one was a guy named Jay. Younger guy. And while his pics were technically accurate they were a bit deceptive. First,when I showed up and he answered the door I noticed his teeth were jagged and misaligned. This may not bother some but it’s a turn off for me. But, what the heck, I was there anyway.

 

so his body was tight for sure, but that’s where the compliments end. I wanted an erotic massage and he said he could do that. Instead I got a rubdown like the ones my nana would give me when I was a kid.

 

he talked the whole time about his personal life. He confessed he used to have a bad drug habit, was bipolar and was dishonorably discharged because of a rape accusation. This was so uncomfortable. He’s telling me all this while I’m nude on the bed with his body right on top of mine. I said to myself “alright don’t get this guy mad. Just get off and go.”

 

at the end he got undressed and I played w his cock, which looked big in the pics. And yes the length was good but it was very thin. Almost comically so.

 

anyway, I get off, and politely leave while assuring him I’d be in touch.

 

never again.

[maninsoma]

It looks like I haven't shared my worst experience here (maybe I have in another thread), so here goes:

 

I was black-and-blue and sore for a few days after a massage. I kept telling this guy (who was super hot, by the way) to back off the pressure because it was too intense for me, but he would immediately return to extremely deep work after a minute or two. I really don't like deep work on anywhere except my back, so I thought that maybe I was just being a little hypersensitive. In retrospect, I should have just left the second time he went too deep which was my warning that he wasn't listening to me. At the end of the massage when I told him I had never encountered so much pain during a massage, he joked that he's known as an "s & m masseur." Well, maybe some people knew that of him but there was no hint of that in his ad. I was aghast after I got home and saw how badly he had bruised me.

 

I, of course, have a lot of stories about hotels in bad areas, smelly apartments, guys who didn't match their pictures, guys who did not deliver what they promised, etc, but the above is definitely the worst massage I had.

[+ poolboy48220]

Not my worst experience, but I went to a masseur that I'd gotten playful with a few years prior. He was working out of a holistic health center now, and it the environment wasn't conducive to playfulness. He kept working my Achilles tendon, hard, which hurt a lot; I asked him to stop a couple times, but he kept at it. I think I packed up and left. At least I hope I did.

[harlow]

OMG it would have to be Zach Brown. WORST MASSAGE EVERRRRRR!!!!!! Thank God his profile is gone.

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/411-on-any-of-these-atlanta-masseurs.133728/#post-1524233

[Richardbl]

When a masseur will apply on you a half of big bottle of baby oil , you will be not able to take a shower after that. And you must to pool back your best shirt after all

It happened with me years ago.

" Do you feel now relaxed ?'" he asked me.????

[nycmassageme]

When a masseur will apply on you a half of big bottle of baby oil , you will be not able to take a shower after that. And you must to pool back your best shirt after all

It happened with me years ago.

" Do you feel now relaxed ?'" he asked me.????

Stop wearing your best shirt when you go for a massage. ???

[Moe]

Stop wearing your best shirt when you go for a massage. ???

 

Yea, that seems odd to do. I wear a t-shirt and sweats. Oh, and flip flops.

[Richardbl]

Stop wearing your best shirt when you go for a massage. ???

Sometime after a successful work meeting. You need a massage.

[nycmassageme]

Sometime after a successful work meeting. You need a massage.

Point taken.

[+ Just Sayin]

I think I just missed one: connected with a guy on Growlr; said he had 15 years experience; gave me his address, which was in kind of an iffy neighborhood; when I got into the house, it was messy, disorganized and did not look particularly clean; he had a massage table set up in his bedroom, but it was covered in an old flannel sheet and the head cradle was uncovered; I'm thinking that I'm not so sure I want to do this; he goes to get me a glass of water and I am thinking to myself, I do not want to spend the next hour here; when he returns, I tell him I am not comfortable and would like to leave; he was fine with that, but sent me a message saying that if I am that paranoid, I should not contact him again; done!

[Guest CA562DUDE]

When a masseur will apply on you a half of big bottle of baby oil , you will be not able to take a shower after that. And you must to pool back your best shirt after all

It happened with me years ago.

" Do you feel now relaxed ?'" he asked me.????

 

I am Sorry if I every get a massage, they should not use BABY OIL / BODY LOTION and if they don't use professional products... I am just going to RUN FOREST RUN.......