"Stealthing"...

[+ Gar1eth]

In thinking about it, I can only think of one or two times in my life when I've been fucked without a condom, so I'm not sure what the difference WOULD feel like.

I've had a few instances where my condom broke. It's usually occurred when the guy's sphincter was extremely tight. It's always been a surprise to both of us the few times it has happened.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Nobody spreads AIDS to anyone. The worst case scenario is that they infect you with the HIV virus. Is this still an ignorance?

 

I think that's splitting hairs.

 

Gman

[LivingnLA]

I've had a few instances where my condom broke. It's usually occurred when the guy's sphincter was extremely tight. It's always been a surprise to both of us the few times it has happened.

 

Gman

 

Yes, that's happened once for me and the top immediately stopped, removed the broken condom, and put on a new one. Accidents do indeed happen, how we respond matters.

[SuenosAmor]

The first guy who fucked me did it raw because he refused to wear a condom. I said no, but he said he'd go slow and "be inside for just a minute." Before I knew it he was all in and came inside me. Guys can be very persuasive in the heat of the moment, even though some people would think he technically assaulted me. That was when I was 24. I don't look at it as an assault, but a hard lesson learned. The term "stealthing" jogged my memory of that experience.

[+ FreshFluff]

I have no way of knowing their motivations. Could have been strictly about selfish pleasure, control, or a form of domination. There are also varying dynamics among people who choose to bareback that I couldn't adequately describe here, let alone apply as speculation to men I don't really know. My own motivations are the ones I need to focus on. After this happened the first time I allowed it to happen several more times even though I know not to assume I can trust either escorts or hookups as anonymous partners.

 

Straight men do it so that the final strokes can be bareback. They also get a power trip over women, who they feel deserve to be fucked over for forcing men to jump through hoops to get laid. That's my take.

 

I'm surprised that it happens in M2M sex too.

[Larstrup]

I think that's splitting hairs.

Gman

 

That's very disheartening to hear from anyone in 2017. Which side of that split hair would you prefer to find your own life or one you loved if found out to be a choice between the two?

[+ sniper]

That's very disheartening to hear from anyone in 2017. Which side of that split hair would you prefer to find your own life or one you loved if found out to be a choice between the two?

If this incident occurred before the advent of drugs to prevent progression of HIV infection to AIDS, then yeah the distinction was splitting hairs.

[+ sniper]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Given your reaction, I'm sure you've been tested since then, but did you also get anal swabs for the STI colonies that don't show on blood tests sometimes?

 

If y'all are like, WTF is he talkin bout, please read up on STD/STI testing a few years ago. Research found chlamydia and gonorrhea can sometimes create colonies in the throat or rectum that are localized and do not enter the bloodstream. The only way they'd show up on tests is by culturing swabs of the area to see if they're there. Typically, a sore throat is fairly common, so discovering the throat colonies is likely if you pay attention to your body after unprotected sex. Unfortunately, people won't feel anything for the rectal colonies and they'll be active vectors to spread via unprotected sex.

 

Well these incidents were both over ten years ago. I was unaware of this swab testing and have never had it, I've just had blood testing and visual inspection for HPV.

I'm overdue for testing(the last few years have been a serious dry spell and even much of my partnered sexual activity is just...um..."manual"), I'll ask about it.

[MikeyGMin]

selfish pleasure

Most likely. I believe we often overthink things and ascribe all kinds of complicated motives when it's nothing more than the fact that it feels better. Of course there is someone out there with a warped mind and a desire to spread infection (if you can think of it, somewhere, someone is into it) but I bet it is no more common than serial killers.

[+ Gar1eth]

Well these incidents were both over ten years ago. I was unaware of this swab testing and have never had it, I've just had blood testing and visual inspection for HPV.

I'm overdue for testing(the last few years have been a serious dry spell and even much of my partnered sexual activity is just...um..."manual"), I'll ask about it.

 

 

Currently I'm going to Planned Parenthood for STI Surveillance . Just so you know what's available then-let me tell you what my provider does to check for STIs. Then you can talk with your physician.

 

1. Blood-Fourth generation HIV testing which includes looking for antibodies and antigen

2. Blood-testing for syphilis

3. Urine sample for chlamydia and gonorrhea

4. Rectal swabs for gonorrhea and chlamydia.

5. They may also want to do blood work testing you for Hepatitis B and C

 

I was advised to be vaccinated against both Hepatitis A and B which I have been. I have also been vaccinated against Meningococcal infection (which has had an increased incidence in some cities in gay men) although the vaccine doesn't cover all strains.

 

Gman

[LivingnLA]

Currently I'm going to Planned Parenthood for STI Surveillance . Just so you know what's available then-let me tell you what my provider does to check for STIs. Then you can talk with your physician.

 

1. Blood-Fourth generation HIV testing which includes looking for antibodies and antigen

2. Blood-testing for syphilis

3. Urine sample for chlamydia and gonorrhea

4. Rectal swabs for gonorrhea and chlamydia.

5. They may also want to do blood work testing you for Hepatitis B and C

 

I was advised to be vaccinated against both Hepatitis A and B which I have been. I have also been vaccinated against Meningococcal infection (which has had an increased incidence in some cities in gay men) although the vaccine doesn't cover all strains.

 

Gman

 

Very comprehensive testing. The only thing missing is throat swabs for colonies since I assume you suck cock without condoms.

[+ Gar1eth]

Very comprehensive testing. The only thing missing is throat swabs for colonies since I assume you suck cock without condoms.

 

I'm more likely to lick as I don't like the taste of cum and my mouth gets tired easily:p

 

But thank you. I can't believe I forgot to mention throat swabs for GC and chlamydia.

 

Gman

[LivingnLA]

I'm more likely to lick as I don't like the taste of cum and my mouth gets tired easily:p

 

But thank you. I can't believe I forgot to mention throat swabs for GC and chlamydia.

 

Gman

 

I'm glad because all it can take is one lick.

[+ GregM]

If fucking raw wasnt agreed upon and fucking wrapped was then stealthing to me is a huge violation. One can say theyre neg but that is never 100% and same can be said of being undetectable or on prep. If the adults agreed to be safe and the top takes off the rubber without being asked to that should be punishable by the law in my opinion. There are other stds to be worried about besides hiv.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Gar1eth]

If fucking raw wasnt agreed upon and fucking wrapped was then stealthing to me is a huge violation. One can say theyre neg but that is never 100% and same can be said of being undetectable or on prep. If the adults agreed to be safe and the top takes off the rubber without being asked to that should be punishable by the law in my opinion. There are other stds to be worried about besides hiv.

 

Hugs,

Greg

If it could be proven, I think in most places it would be a violation. The trouble would be in proving it unless the top admitted to it under oath.

 

Gman

[BasketBaller]

If it could be proven, I think in most places it would be a violation. The trouble would be in proving it unless the top admitted to it under oath.

 

Hardest of all to prove would be the intentional breaking/piercing of the condom, since rubbers do break. Says the man whose eldest child was born 7 months after the wedding. (We were already engaged, though!)

[+ GregM]

If it could be proven, I think in most places it would be a violation. The trouble would be in proving it unless the top admitted to it under oath.

 

Gman

 

I'm not a Dr but wouldnt a swab up the pooper and test it for cum work?

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm not a Dr but wouldnt a swab up the pooper and test it for cum work?

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

You'd have to prove intention and not accident.

 

Gman

[BabyBoomer]

Says the man whose eldest child was born 7 months after the wedding.

 

A preemie?

 

~Boomer ~

[BasketBaller]

A preemie?

 

~Boomer ~

Um... yeah, that's it!

 

(Btw he knows all about it.)

[+ Funguy]

I'm not a Dr but wouldnt a swab up the pooper and test it for cum work?

 

Hugs,

Greg

Not if the cum was gone and the ole GC or chlamydia had set up housekeeping.

Sort of like a rape kit test - right away and you may find the cum (sorry to be so crass), but later on the pregnancy begins to show.