"Stealthing"...

[+ glutes]

TAMPA --- A disturbing new bedroom trend involves men secretly taking off their condoms during consensual sex, and sometimes later bragging about it online.

 

The nonconsensual practice, which is called "stealthing," is on the rise, according to a new report in Columbia Journal of Gender and Law.

 

Lead author Alexandra Brodsky said while the law is largely silent on the practice of "stealthing," she believes it should be considered a form of sexual assault and could violate several civil and criminal laws.

 

In the report, Brodsky profiles a doctoral student named Rebecca who works for a local rape crisis hotline. Rebecca, who was the victim of stealthing as a freshman, said she hears about stealthing from students and says many callers start with, ‘I’m not sure this is rape, but…’

 

Kathleen Kempke, with the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay, says she's aware of the trend.

 

“I have had other cases that I've been very similar to this,” said Kempke.

 

As far as the crisis center is concerned, a person who feels violated is a victim, she said.

 

“And they deserve the same kind of services and support that a victim that is raped by a stranger or a raped by an acquaintance would get,” said Kempke.

[nycguy]

Pure sensationalism without merit. Yeah, sure, there is now a big trend for guys to secretly taking off their condoms to bareback the guy they're fucking. I've never met a guy who could not tell the difference between a raw cock or a wrapped cock in him.

[MrMattBig]

Pure sensationalism without merit. Yeah, sure, there is now a big trend for guys to secretly taking off their condoms to bareback the guy they're fucking. I've never met a guy who could not tell the difference between a raw cock or a wrapped cock in him.

 

I don't believe this is overly sensationalized. For starters, the article is commenting on the heterosexual version of stealthing. So, while I see your point about feeling the difference amongst gay men, that point has little validity it terms of refuting the article. I think this article is important for raising awareness and create more accountability and consequences for those who do it. Just imagine (sans prep) that a partner pulled off the condom, and just as the bottom realized it and tried to move away the top shoved his dick back in, came, and the bottom contracted HIV because of this act. This is just to put everything into perspective. Let's keep sex fun and healthy for all and remember that awareness is the first precursor towards positive change.

[Mydavid]

I've never met a guy who could not tell the difference between a raw cock or a wrapped cock in him.

Really? To be honest, I cannot.

[LivingnLA]

I stumbled across "stealthing" in amateur bareback porn many years ago and have noticed an uptick in it and even had a conversation with my son and daughter about why it's important to have your own condoms and lube because you don't know what the other person did to theirs (pin holes, excess heat, age) mixing latex and silicon lube. They weren't easy conversations and my wife and I nearly argued about it, but I'd heard from colleagues at rape crisis centers who were seeing this behavior relatively frequently at some major universities, so I felt it was important enough to go to the mat on this topic.

 

Safer sex is a personal responsibility and when you're being sexually intimate with someone you don't actually know (hookups), it's dangerous to assume they care about your safety or that they don't have ulterior or selfish motives.

 

@Oaktown, I remember a case in Switzerland where the "stealther" was prosecuted and UK law considers it sexual assault. For me personally, I believe it is a form of sexual assault because it's secretly doing something the other person did not consent to do.

 

http://coed.com/2017/04/26/stealthing-sex-trend-condoms-consensual-nonconsenual-condom-sex-assault-law-womens-rights/

[Mydavid]

it's important to have your own condoms

What if your partner hopes the same?

[LivingnLA]

What if your partner hopes the same?

 

What I told my kids was to bring small unopened packs so it was clear they were new and untampered with, but I'm a fairly cautious person about STDs and STIs, so your mileage may vary.

[AndreFuture]

I've seen quite a bit of discussion about this form of sexual assault on Twitter. Of course, plenty of rape apologists put in their 2¢

[+ glennnn]

I've seen quite a bit of discussion about this form of sexual assault on Twitter. Of course, plenty of rape apologists put in their 2¢

 

 

Just what was their 2¢ on this issue? Was it some sort of justification for this awful behavior?

[Nvr2Thick]

I don't know whether stealthing is a trend on the rise, or whether the act of giving it a name has drawn attention to the practice. Increased discussion and awareness can't hurt.

 

and no, I've been stealthed a few times and I could not feel the difference until it was too late.

[Mydavid]

I've been stealthed a few times and I could not feel the difference until it was too late.

You mean you found it only when they came inside you?

[+ poolboy48220]

In thinking about it, I can only think of one or two times in my life when I've been fucked without a condom, so I'm not sure what the difference WOULD feel like.

[Nvr2Thick]

You mean you found it only when they came inside you?

 

Yes, or he pulled out a naked dick.

 

These days I try to change positions intentionally so that I can check to see if the top is still suited up.

[Mydavid]

Yes, or he pulled out a naked dick.

 

These days I try to change positions intentionally so that I can check to see if the top is still suited up.

I had an experience that I didn't even found when he came inside me. I guess I am too insensitive.

[AndreFuture]

Just what was their 2¢ on this issue? Was it some sort of justification for this awful behavior?

Downplaying the violation, trying to imagine scenarios where predatory behavior could not be called rape or sexual assault. Basically, doing and saying their darnedest to show they really want to get away with rape by some technicality.

[+ sniper]

I've only bottomed maybe 10 times, so I can't say I would know. Due to some back issues I have some areas of decreased sensitivity and that area is one of them. I thought it might have happened to me once(only my second time getting fucked - and it was a Gaiety dancer) but wasn't sure and didn't say anything - the way he pulled out and my position I couldn't quite tell. Another time I ended a hookup promptly when I was on all fours turned around and saw the condom was off his dick and on the bed as he was rubbing my hole with it and starting to push. I got up and got the hell out of there. If not for the fact he was 6'7" and it was his place I'd have punched him.

[LivingnLA]

Yes, or he pulled out a naked dick.

 

These days I try to change positions intentionally so that I can check to see if the top is still suited up.

 

What I've read online is for bottoms to reach back and touch the top's cock. Pull it out to stroke it to make sure he didn't pop just the tip. Do this a few times throughout and you should be ok. Frankly, I'd also advocate for being very clear from the start about only practicing safer sex with a condom. You can't even trust someone who says they're on PrEP because you don't actually know if they are or if they take their meds regularly.

 

That's probably why I don't do random hookups. I take enough time to try and get to know who's going to be fucking me to try and determine how trustworthy they are for things like this.

[LivingnLA]

I've only bottomed maybe 10 times, so I can't say I would know. Due to some back issues I have some areas of decreased sensitivity and that area is one of them. I thought it might have happened to me once(only my second time getting fucked - and it was a Gaiety dancer) but wasn't sure and didn't say anything - the way he pulled out and my position I couldn't quite tell. Another time I ended a hookup promptly when I was on all fours turned around and saw the condom was off his dick and on the bed as he was rubbing my hole with it and starting to push. I got up and got the hell out of there. If not for the fact he was 6'7" and it was his place I'd have punched him.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you. Given your reaction, I'm sure you've been tested since then, but did you also get anal swabs for the STI colonies that don't show on blood tests sometimes?

 

If y'all are like, WTF is he talkin bout, please read up on STD/STI testing a few years ago. Research found chlamydia and gonorrhea can sometimes create colonies in the throat or rectum that are localized and do not enter the bloodstream. The only way they'd show up on tests is by culturing swabs of the area to see if they're there. Typically, a sore throat is fairly common, so discovering the throat colonies is likely if you pay attention to your body after unprotected sex. Unfortunately, people won't feel anything for the rectal colonies and they'll be active vectors to spread via unprotected sex.

[Nvr2Thick]

What I've read online is for bottoms to reach back and touch the top's cock. Pull it out to stroke it to make sure he didn't pop just the tip. Do this a few times throughout and you should be ok. Frankly, I'd also advocate for being very clear from the start about only practicing safer sex with a condom. You can't even trust someone who says they're on PrEP because you don't actually know if they are or if they take their meds regularly.

 

That's probably why I don't do random hookups. I take enough time to try and get to know who's going to be fucking me to try and determine how trustworthy they are for things like this.

 

Two of the circumstances were with escorts. Both condomed up impressively and were definitely covered during initial penetration. I lost track of things in the heat of pretty intense sessions where I got used and abused all over fairly dark rooms. With one guy I later noticed that the condom didn't make the trip from the couch to the bed, and I had that creepy feeling in the shower you can get when you've been seeded heavily. With the other escort I noticed immediately when he pulled out. In each of these cases the session was so hot and the top seemed pretty pleased as well, so I was too caught up in the moment to question it. It wasn't until the next day that the idea of it started to bug me. One of the escorts was Austin Black, who later died from AIDS complications.

 

Often I'm not in a position where I can reach back and check, so I make a point of forcing a position change every now and then so that I can get a visual check.

[Mydavid]

Two of the circumstances were with escorts. Both condomed up impressively and were definitely covered during initial penetration. I lost track of things in the heat of pretty intense sessions where I got used and abused all over fairly dark rooms. With one guy I later noticed that the condom didn't make the trip from the couch to the bed, and I had that creepy feeling in the shower you can get when you've been seeded heavily. With the other escort I noticed immediately when he pulled out. In each of these cases the session was so hot and the top seemed pretty pleased as well, so I was too caught up in the moment to question it. It wasn't until the next day that the idea of it started to bug me. One of the escorts was Austin Black, who later died from AIDS complications.

 

Often I'm not in a position where I can reach back and check, so I make a point of forcing a position change every now and then so that I can get a visual check.

What do you think is the reason they took off the condom?

They want to spread AIDS?

[Larstrup]

What do you think is the reason they took off the condom?

They want to spread AIDS?

 

Nobody spreads AIDS to anyone. The worst case scenario is that they infect you with the HIV virus. Is this still an ignorance?

[Mydavid]

Nobody spreads AIDS to anyone. The worst case scenario is that they infect you with the HIV virus. Is this still an ignorance?

Thanks for your reply. I'm just confused why they do so.

When I was with my ex-bf, he sometimes fucked me bareback because he couldn't get hard with a condom on.

[Larstrup]

Thanks for your reply. I'm just confused why they do so.

When I was with my ex-bf, he sometimes fucked me bareback because he couldn't get hard with a condom on.

 

So are you suggesting that because of that you're now HIV positive or that you now have AIDS because you haven't sought treatment? This is a confusing dynamic to process.

[Mydavid]

So are you suggesting that because of that you're now HIV positive or that you now have AIDS because you haven't sought treatment? This is a confusing dynamic to process.

No no no. I'm HIV negative.

I just said my ex-bf did bareback because he sometimes couldn't get hard with condom on.

But I don't know why those escorts tried to fuck their clients bareback?

[Nvr2Thick]

What do you think is the reason they took off the condom?

They want to spread AIDS?

 

I have no way of knowing their motivations. Could have been strictly about selfish pleasure, control, or a form of domination. There are also varying dynamics among people who choose to bareback that I couldn't adequately describe here, let alone apply as speculation to men I don't really know. My own motivations are the ones I need to focus on. After this happened the first time I allowed it to happen several more times even though I know not to assume I can trust either escorts or hookups as anonymous partners.