To Daddy

[Ryan]

Dear Daddy,

Thank you for a most elegant and gentle beginning. I believe it was T.S. Elliott who said something about "endings being beginning." I can only imagine how challenging and exhausting these past two weeks have been for you and Hooboy's intimates. And then knowing that this site is quietly (or not so) abiding.

Your writing was perfect. And reassuring. And I thank you.

[+ newatthis]

Daddy--

 

Your "first" post was graceful and moving. Thanks for everything you've done and are doing.

[Guest ncm2169]

You're doin' just fine dude.

[Luv2play]

I concur. You're going to do just fine if you take it one day at a time. In my professional life, I faced major changes and challenges about every five years, it seemed. New job, new place of work, sometimes new country, new people to meet and work with, new ways of doing things and ways of thinking. Hopefully you will have the people around you that you need, and if not, go out and find them. Don't try to do it all yourself. And be yourself. We each have our own ways of doing things, and your ways won't be the same as HooBoy's ways. So be it. And have fun! That's the most important thing. Just have fun.

[Richard]

I don't use this term much because on the lips of some people, it makes me cringe, but Daddy demonstrated a tremendous amount of class throughout the shock and aftermath of Hooboy's sudden death.

 

As a Irish Catholic, I remember being told one of the benefits of the ritual of the Irish wake was that it kept people amazingly busy with details and engaged with friends, relatives and neighbors (many of whom were eating and drinking you out of house and home) to prevent people from just falling to pieces because you had duties to perform. I cannot imagine what Daddy had to go through over the last couple of weeks, but I imagine his devotion to Hooboy and his respect for his family got him through an awful lot of this. It was a contributing, dutiful form of grieving which I respect tremendously.

 

Kudos to Daddy from his thousands of beneficiaries.

[+ Charlie]

In a situation like this, for which no one was prepared, there is bound to be a lot of confusion, soul-searching, and probably disagreement about how to proceed. Daddy and whoever else has been responsible for the conduct of the website during the past two weeks deserves praise and support for holding it all together with dignity and grace.

[Boston Guy]

I agree.

 

It's my hope that this will be resolved in a way that allows M4M to keep running and respects the interest of Daddy, Foxy and the M4M community. These kinds of things can be accomplished so long as the parties all bring respect for each other to the table.

 

If the events of the last 10 days are any indication, that's already happened. Kudos to Daddy and the moderators for stepping up to the plate and acting in a way that brings credit to them and to HB's vision.

 

BG

[BigK]

You've been doing great Daddy. I wondered if Foxy ever got a visa?

 

BigK

[Barry]

Unfortunately Foxy wasn't able to get a visa but good friends went to be with him during this difficult time.

 

Barry

[joel304]

Amazing that we, as Americans, enjoy the liberty of travelling to most other countries with little problem. It's a shame that Foxy wasn't able to attend the funeral.

[HotdadENYC]

Daddy, and Foxy, and all of the rest of you, I can appreciate how difficult this time has been. Looks like things are falling into place and then all of a sudden, they don't. Its actually no different from everyday life, even though you have all lost a dear friend and loved companion.

 

I am anxious to see how this all plays out, in the near future, but for now, I am VERY impressed by the depth of Daddy's intuitive behavior. The first priority was HooBoy's return home, the next was HooBoy's friends and family and finally, as he gets around to it, the continuation of the wonderful work done on this site. It was so apparent to all of us that you guys had a blast working for this site and I see no reason why that can't continue.

 

Hey, we're not talking General Motors here. There is no quota to meet and pump out cars, no dividends to declare and no Board to placate.

 

M4M always was a labor of love and should continue to be so. It might look a little different and act a little different, but the fact that it continues, in some fashion, is probably the highest tribute that I can think of to pay to its original visionary.

 

Fondly,

 

hd NYC

[+ deej]

>Unfortunately Foxy wasn't able to get a visa but good friends

>went to be with him during this difficult time.

 

A good friend took some discreet photos specifically for him, and will deliver them in person. Also, one of the family members hired a professional photographer to record the memorial service. We have those photos on CD and will make sure Foxy gets a copy.

 

He was in all of our thoughts all weekend, and was mentioned often.

 

The family was truly touched that so many people traveled from all corners of the globe to celebrate Hooboy's life. They thanked us over and over, even had us stand as a group during the memorial, just as we were thanking them for allowing us to participate.

 

It was a tremendously emotionally draining weekend, while at the same time being incredibly fulfilling.

[Barry]

Thanks for sharing that Deej.

 

Barry

[BewareofNick]

If anything has illustrated first hand the need to continue the fight for gay marraige, Foxy's situation would be it.

 

deej, for you to do all this for Foxy and Hooboy speaks volumes of your character. I know there are others who deserve the same accolades, particularly Daddy, but all of you have shown why being gay is no different from being human, and more importantly, what extraordinary human beings you truly are.

 

I tip my hat to you.