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When and how did you realize that free sex is over ?

diehard_002

By diehard_002
in The Lounge

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Gar1eth Grand Master

+ Gar1eth

Posted
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Location makes a difference. Here in RDU, free sex with people near me in age (57) is not difficult to find.

 

But when living in NYC six years ago, it was easy to pick up guys of any age whatever. Age, at least at certain places such as Monster, was just not one of the categories anyone seemed to much care about.

 

RDU?

 

It hasn't even started. :D

 

Hunh?

 

 

Gman

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glennnn Mentor

+ glennnn

Posted
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I don't know if I could still get free sex or not--I simply stopped looking for it when I hit middle age. It was so much more convenient to just hire and get exactly what I wanted when I wanted it. Then when I retired to Palm Springs in my early 60s, I decided one night to see what the bars were like, and was surprised to be picked up and taken home in his Mercedes convertible by a really hot-looking guy of about 40. The sex all night long was fabulous, but I realized it was probably a fluke, and if I expected the experience to be repeated regularly, I was bound to be disappointed. So I stopped looking again.

 

 

You fool! I would fuck you any time any place based on your intelligence and wit alone. Look me up and hook me up!!!

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quoththeraven Grand Master

+ quoththeraven

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My experience went in the other direction. I've been out since the early 90s, had a great and varied sex life and a couple of LTRs. Then, due to a faulty brain and a faulty body, I pretty much went into isolation for about 9 years. No sex, not so much as a deep, passionate kiss. My malfunctions affected lots of other stuff in my life as well -- job, personal relationships, basic day-to-day living. Over the last three years my brain got less broken (yay, Big Pharma!), and I started to dig out of my rut. But, I was, frankly, still too ashamed (body image) and scared (of rejection) to try to reignite any sort of sexual or romantic life.

 

Toyed with the idea of hiring, but shied away until about 2 years ago when I was travelling in South Africa. Suddenly struck me that I might be far more comfortable taking the plunge 2000 miles from home. And so I did. Simply by luck, found a beautiful, sexy, patient, smart, kind escort who was exactly what I needed. After about 6 months of (mostly) fun solely hiring, found myself dating again. I'd lost alot of my fear about becoming the pursuer rather than the pursued. Since then, I've found rewarding, hot, passionate sex that, as a bonus, was free.

 

Long way of saying -- for me, hiring has actually increased the "free" sex in my life. I don't know that I'll ever stop hiring on the side. Even with my new-found enthusiasm for finding sex and companionship outside of a commercial transaction, there are a lot of beautiful, sexy men out there who turn me on but would remain outside the reach of my limited charms. So, I see it as kinda going to Six Flags to ride the exciting rides, and they frequently turn out to be as attractive on the inside as on the outside.

 

And, I don't feel any angst about not calling them the next morning ;)

Hiring wasn't necessary to recharge my libido, but the experience, including some things I hadn't done, helped. I would be reluctant to try fingering a guy's ass without prior experience. I had someone ask for it and did it with permission to my now regular fuck buddy who'd never experienced it before but loves getting rimmed. Now if I can only get him to remember to use lube when he does the same to me...

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bigvalboy Grand Master

bigvalboy

Posted
Posted

I've been hiring since I was 17, except for the two decades that I discovered bath houses. :p Somewhere in my late 30's, when bath house fell out of favor, I came out into the light, and realized that I was still cute, cut a good figure, had a full head of hair, and was still desirable among the 20 something crowd. I enjoyed that status for a good 10 years....and then one cold California night I was partying the night away at The Motherlode in WEHO. I was buying the bartender shots, and flirting with this hot little muscle boy sitting next to me at the bar, and imagining that I was younger than I was, and was quite sure he lusted after me. In the middle of the conversation he called me "sir" :eek: ..It was the first time someone that age had said "sir" to me. I paid my tab, and took my toys and went home. It was a huge wake up call. I soon discovered that "The Numbers" (A hustler bar on Sunset) was a safer bet. :D

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Phil_musc Mentor

Phil_musc

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You fool! I would fuck you any time any place based on your intelligence and wit alone. Look me up and hook me up!!!

 

You brazen hussy!!! And you're also trying to set up some dates at the PS event?! And you're dabbling in Trimix cocktails too!!

 

Well as my much-feared saintly mother used to say (and she was certainly NOT as cool as the mom mentioned early on in this thread), we make our own opportunities - and I don't think she was secretly advocating for practicing the ancient art of what used to be called (euphemistically yet inexplicably) self abuse. I admire your spirit and wish we could meet up sometime.

 

Actually there are several guys here who I think I wouldn't turn down for a little free frolic 'n' feel. But then they'd most likely take one look at me with my mediocre charms and decide to go pro.

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MikeBiDude Grand Master

MikeBiDude

Posted
Posted

This is one of those threads I see now and again on these forum that gives me pause. Seems like as some of as age we get less self-confident? I'm in my sixth decade, and my self confidence in myself has never been higher. My "luck" with younger men has an acceptable batting average. Yes there is some rejection and that never feels good. But more often than not I'm doing fine.

 

I've had recent exceptional luck on "seeking arrangements " and "silverdaddies". Now "seeking ..." obviously tends toward paid arrangements, but I've met more than a "few" from there for no more than 90 minutes of conversation and a Starbucks latte. Good guys. Less luck with silverdaddies but currently have a 27 y/o young man I met there who I've been seeing 3-4 times a month....sometimes just for a meal and sometimes for "more".

 

I still visit with escorts, sometimes the convenience, schedules, etc make it more practical...plus I can look more for,the type/position etc I'm currently in the mood for.

 

Point of this post is free sex never goes away. Go in with high confidence, expect a low/medium batting average and don't let that deter you. Put your best foot forward.

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BasketBaller Mentor

BasketBaller

Posted
Posted

I know I've spent many of my "free sex" years going without, by choice. As a widower who was ambivalent about what I wanted in the first place, I at first only had sex with myself (well, that was free, anyway), then, when I gathered the courage to try men, I hired. I had a few unsatisfying online hookups, but eventually stuck with the pros and my hand. I've never been to a gay bar or flirted with a man so I have no idea how I'd have done if I were pursuing a more active sex life for free. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes, but I'll be starting at 41. Fortunately I mostly am attracted to guys around my own age, but this will be all new.

 

Confession-- in college and even high school, before I met my wife, I was a bit of a dog, and slept around a lot, trying to prove to myself that I was straight. Once I met her, that changed, although our sex life together was also pretty active until she got sick. Since then it's been masturbation and intermittent paid encounters, for which I'm deeply grateful. It might be that I lost some chances by not being open to more, but in any case that will change soon when the boys go to college.

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pitman Grand Master

+ pitman

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Posted
Sometimes when I get called "sir" (happens a lot at cash registers), if I'm feeling like it'll land well, I tell them they don't have to call me sir, they can just call me "Daddy."

 

And - don't take Grindr seriously.

 

I work in a courthouse and am required to wear a jacket and tie to work. Sometimes I use an elevator in a secured area which is used by many of the judges as well as deputy sheriffs.

 

Occasionally a deputy who doesn't know me will see an older man wearing a jacket and tie and greet me with a "Good Morning Judge". My response: "Actually, I'm not a judge, but you may address me as Judge. I like role play."

 

And Eric, even though I am much older than you, I would love to have you be my Daddy!

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