Guest Towels....are they for guests?

[bigvalboy]

She actually invited herself for a whole month?

 

Yes...I mean like who does that?

 

 

#WTF

[mike carey]

Yes...I mean like who does that?

A sibling, maybe, a cousin, no fucking way!

[AdamSmith]

Right. They benefit, but I'm thinking mostly of myself.

Oh, absolutely. The ex's family, out of Southern (Cajun Louisiana) hospitality -- which of course turns hostile right after you accept it (as a native Tarheel I can say that ) -- always pressed us to stay in one of their homes, and we usually had the wisdom to decline. The few times we didn't, we always wondered afterward whatever could have possessed us to accept.

[Rudynate]

Oh, absolutely. The ex's family, out of Southern (Cajun Louisiana) hospitality -- which of course turns hostile right after you accept it (as a native Tarheel I can say that ) -- always pressed us to stay in one of their homes, and we usually had the wisdom to decline. The few times we didn't, we always wondered afterward whatever could have possessed us to accept.

 

It's one of the maxims I live by - "Good fences make good neighbors."

[Rudynate]

A sibling, maybe, a cousin, no fucking way!

 

I had my mother come visit for three weeks once - longest three weeks of my life. What is it that Oscar Wilde said about guests and three days?

[mike carey]

I had my mother come visit for three weeks once

I had my mother (grhs) visit for extended periods, and that seemed to work most of the time.

[Rudynate]

I had my mother (grhs) visit for extended periods, and that seemed to work most of the time.

 

What works well in one family may not work at all in another family.

[AdamSmith]

What is it that Oscar Wilde said about guests and three days?

Bingo!

[mike carey]

Yet from reading Jane Austen, house guests are just part of normal life, for weeks at a time. There is always an expectation of reciprocation. I have visited friends, admittedly for closer to the three days to which Mr Wilde alluded, and also received such visitors. I still have a set of cannisters that one visitor noted that I hitherto lacked!

[Rudynate]

Sure, the gentry and nobility do that in 19th century novels, where everybody has big houses and lots of servants, so that the quests aren't underfoot all day and needing to be looked after. If 19th century fiction is an actual reflection of reality, even middle class households had servants. Such is not the case today.

 

I'm adding an additional thought: One thing about guests that we forget is that being a guest for more than a day or two gets to be a strain. You always have to be on your best behavior and filtering what you say, offering to help out. Staying in a hotel just makes it easier for everybody.

[+ sync]

Of course that works in the reverse also. It is an unwritten rule that no one is allowed to stay with me. I don't stay there, and they don't stay here. If you want to be the perfect guest...get a room, that's my rule.

 

When I first moved to FTL I was chatting with a cousin at a family party, She expressed excitement that FTL was a great place to come for her to get away for a month or so from the craziness of LA, and wanted my new address. When she mentioned her plans, I sort of just looked at her with surprise.

Her: Oh cousin, give me your new address, I'd love to come and stay for a month or so.

Me: Seriously?

Her: Yeah seriously

Me: Well you are welcome anytime, but let me know in advance and I will book you a nice hotel

Her: Seriously?

Me: Yeah seriously

Her: Hahahaha, Cuz you are so funny sometimes

Me: No...I'm really serious.

 

(She never came to Florida)

 

Beautifully done, just rip off the band-aid.

[mike carey]

It's all a matter of attitude, I stayed for weeks at a time with my sister and her partner, both before and after we had a falling out about an unrelated issue. At times I sat in a corner, staying out of the way, I bought groceries at times, I cooked meals or helped cook them. I even bought lettuce seedlings and planted them. My sister and her partner had their room to which they could retreat and in their house I had a room where I could go. To me the key was that neither of us expected to entertain each other. 'I'll pretend you're not here, and you pretend I'm not here', may be the best way to do this.

[Rudynate]

It's all a matter of attitude, I stayed for weeks at a time with my sister and her partner, both before and after we had a falling out about an unrelated issue. At times I sat in a corner, staying out of the way, I bought groceries at times, I cooked meals or helped cook them. I even bought lettuce seedlings and planted them. My sister and her partner had their room to which they could retreat and in their house I had a room where I could go. To me the key was that neither of us expected to entertain each other. 'I'll pretend you're not here, and you pretend I'm not here', may be the best way to do this.

 

Sure, family is family. I said upthread that my mother's three-week stay was the longest three weeks of my life, but I would do it again, because that's just what you do. I would take a deep breathe, remind myself that it wasn't forever and do it.

[Rudynate]

Sure, family is family. I said upthread that my mother's three-week stay was the longest three weeks of my life, but I would do it again, because that's just what you do. I would take a deep breathe, remind myself that it wasn't forever and do it.

 

Last year, we hosted an old friend who was visiting from France. She has MS and we hadn't seen her in years. In that time, her condition had worsened a lot, she really needed to be in a wheelchair, but struggled to get around with a cane. She needed a lot of help everywhere we went. She needed help dressing and undressing. She chilled easily so we had to keep the heat turned way up. She stayed for 8 days and with her mobility impairment was one of the most challenging guests we have ever had. But how could we not have done that for an old friend? How could we not do it again if she asked us to?

[liubit]

The best house guests are the ones who do NOT stay in your house, period. It is also reciprocal. Like a friend of my father's used to say, "the price of freedom is the rate of a hotel room". Wisdom for the ages.

[craigville beach]

In preparation for my upcoming retirement (and inevitable death) I have purged myself of all things that were of no use any longer, or no longer used. I got rid of a lot of shit, like the good dishes I never ate off of, and those heirloom linens that never went on the bed.... How silly to just "hold onto" things like that. People say it's the memories, but memories are in your "head" not your closet.... I keep reviewing what I still have, and always find things I can easily discard.... Once they're gone, you no longer even think about it or miss it.

 

A professional "home downsized" told me to take pictures of those items that mean something, but are never used. Then pass the item on.

[craigville beach]

Last year, we hosted an old friend who was visiting from France. She has MS and we hadn't seen her in years. In that time, her condition had worsened a lot, she really needed to be in a wheelchair, but struggled to get around with a cane. She needed a lot of help everywhere we went. She needed help dressing and undressing. She chilled easily so we had to keep the heat turned way up. She stayed for 8 days and with her mobility impairment was one of the most challenging guests we have ever had. But how could we not have done that for an old friend? How could we not do it again if she asked us to?

 

you must help your friend. She isn't any less of a friend because she needs special considerations. A few days isn't much to give in to her needs, compared to what it might mean to her.