Hmmmm... am I getting the brush off?

[Juan Vancouver]

I'm really surprised at the amount of text/email interaction that appears to go on with some escorts/clients... is this the norm?

I'm looking at my last few hires text conversations and they seem to be very terse and only over a short period of time. I think I'm missing out on something here.

 

Or... you might be a polite man who is respectful of his interlocutor's time and understands that a true intimate interaction can only happen when you are face to face, present and focused. All this electronic communication is leading to the erosion of human decency and communication. To me it sounds like you are dealing with this in a very healthy way.

 

(Regarding the framing of this discussion in purely mercantile terms, my very last hire informed me that not only did he not enjoy sex but that every escort considered their interaction with a client to be 100% business and the objective was to maximize income. Period. I think someone else in the Forum referred to this as the considering of clients to be a pile of cash they stick their dick into. I'm not sure this is good for anyone and gratefully look back at some of the terrific guys I've been able to connect with.)

 

You last hire was an asshole. And he was also wrong. Not all escorts feel like he does.

 

There are tons of loving, caring, talented, beautiful men out there who fucking love meeting with their clients, get a high from making them realize how special they are, thrive when they believe they are providing a healing, beautiful experience for their clients and can't wait to see them again. Doing this is these men's calling and luckily enough we live in an era in which pursuing this calling helps these men to support themselves.

 

In order for these men to be able to meet their clients and fulfill their passion, it is of paramount importance that they learn to manage their time, learn to weed the real clients out of the time wasters and learn to do their work in a safe way that won't put them in physical or emotional damage.

 

This is a cold, intellectual process that supports and enables a loving, joyful calling.

 

Having only one without the other would be disastrous:

 

On one hand we have your asshole last hire, who is all cold calculation and money grabbing.

 

On the other hand we have the hooker martyr self-immolating himself in the altar of "I want to make everyone happy!!! Please come to me at all times and I will give you anything you want!". No regard for his own safety, for his financial sustainability, for his health, emotional and physical. Just give, give and give till he is wrung out dry.

 

We have seen both extremes. They never end well. If you are looking for a satisfying, safe, uplifting experience, I think you would be much safer meeting with escorts that excel at both complementary skills.

 

I understand the teasing yinz (escorts) take over and over again, but one strike you're out? I'd give the OP another chance.

 

I am not the escort about whom the original poster is talking. I am just trying to show you guys the other side. There is a rational, very clear reason for which escorts will do this.

 

Either take head, pay attention, put yourself in our shoes and treat us according whatever insight you receive by doing that, or justify, judge, demonize and continue business as usual.

 

It's entirely up to you.

 

The kind of interactions you engage in might be coloured by the choice you make.

[+ Keith30309]

There are tons of loving, caring, talented, beautiful men out there who fucking love meeting with their clients, get a high from making them realize how special they are, thrive when they believe they are providing a healing, beautiful experience for their clients and can't wait to see them again. Doing this is these men's calling and luckily enough we live in an era in which pursuing this calling helps these men to support themselves.

 

I think escorting is a really easy job to do... and a really difficult job to do well. There are a handful of guys who've made a strong, lasting impression on me and not one of them could have been taught to do what they do - I thing it's something they're born with.

I'll grudgingly acknowledge that successfully managing a schedule enables them to be on time and focus solely on us, but I prefer to slip the metaphorical white envelope under a pillow and not see @Rudynate 's sausage being made. Or something like that.

[marylander1940]

I understand the teasing yinz (escorts) take over and over again, but one strike you're out? I'd give the OP another chance.

 

 

I am not the escort about whom the original poster is talking. I am just trying to show you guys the other side. There is a rational, very clear reason for which escorts will do this.

 

Either take head, pay attention, put yourself in our shoes and treat us according whatever insight you receive by doing that, or justify, judge, demonize and continue business as usual.

 

It's entirely up to you.

 

The kind of interactions you engage in might be coloured by the choice you make.

 

I know the OP ain't talking about you, I hope I didn't cause any other folks on here that impression, and I totally take the other side, the teasing "yinz" (escorts) take constantly.

 

The escort seems to be pissed off, but as we all that may or may not be rational, maybe he's just too busy or has plenty of regulars already lined up.

[mattr]

First I want to thank everyone for their comments. They have all been very insightful. After contemplating a bit longer, I think it is unlikely I am being blackballed. I think if he felt I was a time waster, he would have ended the conversation quickly which he did not do. He kept it going much longer than was necessary and continued to text me even after I fell asleep. I am not going to pursue him again for this trip as he knows how to reach me if he has some free time. If he comes to town again, I will reach out to him as I did this time. If I find myself in his area (unlikely but not impossible) I will reach out to him. Thanks again everyone, this was great.

[+ bashful]

cold and flu season

 

Spring and summer allergy season is worst for me. A few months ago I made an appointment to meet a guy the next day. When I woke up that morning, the mold count was so high, I felt, and looked awful. I called to cancel (about 5 or 6 hours in advance). Only told him I was not well. He was very nice about it. However, he was visiting, and has not been back to town, so I'm worried should he return, I will get the brush off too.

[+ dutchmuch]

I let him know when I would not be available so that he could choose the date/time that would be convenient for him from the remaining time. He texted me later and said he gave his previous clients first dibs on his time when traveling before making himself available to the general public.

 

He's building up his 'brand', making ya sweat a little bit.

[Juan Vancouver]

I'll grudgingly acknowledge that successfully managing a schedule enables them to be on time and focus solely on us, but I prefer to slip the metaphorical white envelope under a pillow and not see @Rudynate 's sausage being made. Or something like that.

 

I might have not been clear enough, and I apologize. It's not only about successfully managing a schedule so that they can be focused on you. It is also about taking care of their wellbeing, making sure they are safe, minimizing their risks, being able too bed themselves... you know, take care of themselves, as... you know, human beings.

 

Do you also begrudgingly accept that fact? That they have to take care of themselves first because they are actual human beings?

 

I am sorry. There's no sausage being sold here. This is not about hiding the grotesque fat and tripe and bone bits that go in the casing. This is about acknowledging the full humanity of the people who are so lovingly providing this service. Acknowledging it and honouring it and dealing with them with this very humanity in mind.

 

However, and many here have said so before, they much rather not acknowledge that humanity which becomes problematic when using a person as a body part.

[+ Truereview]

First I want to thank everyone for their comments. They have all been very insightful. After contemplating a bit longer, I think it is unlikely I am being blackballed. I think if he felt I was a time waster, he would have ended the conversation quickly which he did not do. He kept it going much longer than was necessary and continued to text me even after I fell asleep. I am not going to pursue him again for this trip as he knows how to reach me if he has some free time. If he comes to town again, I will reach out to him as I did this time. If I find myself in his area (unlikely but not impossible) I will reach out to him. Thanks again everyone, this was great.

That's my Matt! Good for you, buddy. Sometimes things are best kept simple despite the very fact that we, as intelligent human beings, know they are far more complex beneath the surface. To me, that's not denial, but astute navigation around the rabbit holes human emotion can create. Reserve your emotional energy for when it really counts!

[+ Truereview]

I think escorting is a really easy job to do... and a really difficult job to do well. There are a handful of guys who've made a strong, lasting impression on me and not one of them could have been taught to do what they do - I thing it's something they're born with.

I agree with you partially.

 

When I escorted, I knew my empathy was a major asset bc even if the guy was a bit of jerk, I could find something to connect with. Fortunately, most of my clients were really stand up guys that I was able to click with. I think the other thing that helped me was being naturally curious and always wanting to learn something new or in greater depth. This helped me not try to teach my clients but learn from them and with them. There is nothing smart people hate more than being preached at or taught when they are not looking for it. My predisposition to learn from others has helped me in all endeavors. So, yes, I see some of the traits I was born/ nurtured with helped.

 

I was lucky to have a mentor who helped me get into the escorting business. He was an escort himself and he taught me a ton - not just about the aspect of running the business, but about dealing with emotions. I borrowed the phrase from him that the currency of escorting is not cash, but emotions. As we talked about it over drinks or pot (lol, don't judge me too hard), he helped me realize that you can treat this business for the harsh reality of what it is - which you should not lose sight of - or you can focus on the beautiful fragility of the emotional exchange (how to care for it). He taught how to de-escalate wounded egos, how to fortify weakened souls, how to deal with braggarts and know-it -alls. He also taught me how to be grateful for good clients. I think could have intuited my way around it all, but he accelerated my learning and sparked insights. He also taught me that respect is not something you teach people, it is something you earn thru actions and not words. That stayed with me.

 

So, I guess, Keith I agree with you to a point, but I'd believe it is possible to learn it if the student is willing or humble enough. I'm still working on my humility (lol) but I'm willing! It is a lifelong endeavor - whether you are an escort or not.

[beachboy]

I agree with you partially.

 

When I escorted, I knew my empathy was a major asset bc even if the guy was a bit of jerk, I could find something to connect with. Fortunately, most of my clients were really stand up guys that I was able to click with. I think the other thing that helped me was being naturally curious and always wanting to learn something new or in greater depth. This helped me not try to teach my clients but learn from them and with them. There is nothing smart people hate more than being preached at or taught when they are not looking for it. My predisposition to learn from others has helped me in all endeavors. So, yes, I see some of the traits I was born/ nurtured with helped.

 

I was lucky to have a mentor who helped me get into the escorting business. He was an escort himself and he taught me a ton - not just about the aspect of running the business, but about dealing with emotions. I borrowed the phrase from him that the currency of escorting is not cash, but emotions. As we talked about it over drinks or pot (lol, don't judge me too hard), he helped me realize that you can treat this business for the harsh reality of what it is - which you should not lose sight of - or you can focus on the beautiful fragility of the emotional exchange (how to care for it). He taught how to de-escalate wounded egos, how to fortify weakened souls, how to deal with braggarts and know-it -alls. He also taught me how to be grateful for good clients. I think could have intuited my way around it all, but he accelerated my learning and sparked insights. He also taught me that respect is not something you teach people, it is something you earn thru actions and not words. That stayed with me.

 

So, I guess, Keith I agree with you to a point, but I'd believe it is possible to learn it if the student is willing or humble enough. I'm still working on my humility (lol) but I'm willing! It is a lifelong endeavor - whether you are an escort or not.

All I can say is I wish I had lived in your area when you were escorting True. I can imagine hiring you would have been amazing. Sigh!

[+ Keith30309]

I think we're all playing the same chords here... it's a business and, to @Truereview 's point, some guys have the empathy to understand the emotional needs that every client brings to the table. Personally, I tend to have greater emotional expectations than physical but I'd argue for most people those emotional needs play a much bigger role in ultimate satisfaction than sating the physical desires - but that's a different thread. I'd also argue that, based on my hiring experience, the older an escort is the more likely he is to be able to do that - also another thread.

 

To the topic at hand, I completely understand the need for and indirectly benefit from escorts' efficient business practices. I just prefer to focus on the real reason I'm there.

 

Now time for caffeine.

[+ José Soplanucas]

All I can say is I wish I had lived in your area when you were escorting True. I can imagine hiring you would have been amazing. Sigh!

 

Yes, sex and pot party!f

http://manhuntdaily.com/files/2014/07/College-boy-Brad-gets-gangbanged-bareback-in-a-group-sex-scene-for-gay-porn-reality-site-Fraternity-X-2.jpg

Admin note: a sex act in progress is against the rules. Think before you post.

[LADoug1]

Just because you "feel" that the escort is shunning you does NOT make it a fact. Feelings are not facts. One of the major factors that makes people depressed, anxious, and generally miserable are called Cognitive Errors (sometimes called "habits of the mind"). And one of the most frequently used CE is "jumping to conclusions." When we become convinced that we KNOW why others are acting even without them saying so, we are jumping to conclusions. When I was doing relationship therapy I noticed that "jumping to conclusions" by conflicted partners was usually a toxic ingredient in that relationship. You have concluded that the escort is reacting negatively to you but have not actually bothered to find out if you are correct. For your own peace of mind, might I suggest you either ask him if he is upset with you, or better yet, accept his explanation and get on with your life.

@JayCeeKy

Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a great way to solve a problem like this. I'm a firm believer in it. It changed my life. Bravo for your insights!

[gezellig4u]

I have only very, very rarely had to bail after a meeting has been scheduled, but the handful of times that I have, I have done everything I could to pay him the agreed upon rate. Remember, folks... the money is for time, and that block of time that we agreed upon might not be filled by someone else if I bail at the last minute. Most guys have been very surprised (and pleased) that I would still be willing to compensate for that "contracted" time. Needless to say, doing it this way should keep you off any blacklist. Sure, this costs money, but good karma is priceless!

[CoopMoorson]

Another scenario for consideration is the guy I regularly see is out of the country for a month but his ad shows a domestic travel schedule. Seems a bit odd. Not sure what that is about. I guess I will have to ask.

[Juan Vancouver]

Another scenario for consideration is the guy I regularly see is out of the country for a month but his ad shows a domestic travel schedule. Seems a bit odd. Not sure what that is about. I guess I will have to ask.

\

 

My guess is Privacy. When you are accompanying a client internationally it would be very ill advised to post your true itinerary. Not discreet and might put your client at risk of being found out.

[CoopMoorson]

That's good insight, but in this case he is on vacation.

[+ beethoven]

Adam Smith, thank you so much for posting that Tom Lehrer song! I've heard many of his songs over the years, but never this one, and this is one of the funniest!!

[rvwnsd]

\

 

My guess is Privacy. .../QUOTE]

 

That's good insight, but in this case he is on vacation.

 

Still could be a case of maintaining privacy while on vacation, i.e. he does not want to be hired while on vacation. Given complaints in this Forum about escorts who have an active ad but list themselves as being not available, I can see why he might list domestic travel while out of the country. That said, I'm not sure what difference it makes. He is traveling, is not in the same locale as you, and therefore you can't hire him. His ad could say he is on Mars and it would not change the fact that he is not in your location.