asking the escort if they are okay with your race.

[Rudynate]

I know that. But it's a change in perspective that any individual is capable of making. You change one mind and you've made some progress.

[Rudynate]

We've been trying to legislate racism out of existence in the US for over a century, yet we still have cops murdering blacks and blacks getting so fed up that they are beginning to fight back.

[+ José Soplanucas]

We've been trying to legislate racism out of existence in the US for over a century, yet we still have cops murdering blacks and blacks getting so fed up that they are beginning to fight back.

 

Starting? They have been fighting for awhile. But you don't have to be Black to be outraged. It is time to join them.

[Juan Vancouver]

Starting? They have been fighting for awhile. But you don't have to be Black to be outraged. It is time to join them.

 

If I were a venture capitalist I'd be investing in pitchforks.

[Rudynate]

Starting? They have been fighting for awhile. But you don't have to be Black to be outraged. It is time to join them.

 

I don't think they've ever fought back in quite such a targeted way.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I don't think they've ever fought back in quite such a targeted way.

 

My friend, I am not going to argue about such a secondary point. The main point is we have to join them.

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't think they've ever fought back in quite such a targeted way.

 

The Black Panthers, police brutality. On other issues, King's SCLC.

 

We've been trying to legislate racism out of existence in the US for over a century, yet we still have cops murdering blacks and blacks getting so fed up that they are beginning to fight back.

 

It can't be legislated away. Non-black folks (myself included) need to learn to resist and retrain their thinking and reject the implicit but insidious implication that White is Right, White is the norm, and blacks just don't measure up and never will.

[Rudynate]

E

The Black Panthers, police brutality. On other issues, King's SCLC.

 

 

Even the Panthers weren't the kind of immediate, violent, eye-for-eye retribution we saw in Dallas the other day.

[+ José Soplanucas]

That's not what I am advocating to join in. And let's go back to the OP topic or go to the Politics forum to continue this conversation. I do not think it is appropriate here.

[Rudynate]

That's not what I am advocating to join in. And let's go back to the OP topic or go to the Politics forum to continue this conversation. I do not think it is appropriate here.

 

 

Nor am I. I am simply noting the fact of it having happened.

[mattr]

I always try to give an escort an accurate description of my physical appearance, my experience level, and what I am looking forward to during our meeting (e.g. kissing is VERY important to me). The last thing I want is for an escort to be taken aback when I arrive at the door or be unprepared when the festivities begin. I feel that providing the escort as much information up front is an important first step that all clients should take to increase the likelihood of a successful interaction. The escort should, in turn, be honest about his ability to perform with me as described. I might be disappointed but I would prefer he bow out before we meet if my looks and/or desires are not something he can accommodate. If he isn't honest (e.g. doesn't like kissing) I feel perfectly justified in walking out of the session with little or no remuneration.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I always try to give an escort an accurate description of my physical appearance, my experience level, and what I am looking forward to during our meeting (e.g. kissing is VERY important to me). The last thing I want is for an escort to be taken aback when I arrive at the door or be unprepared when the festivities begin. I feel that providing the escort as much information up front is an important first step that all clients should take to increase the likelihood of a successful interaction. The escort should, in turn, be honest about his ability to perform with me as described. I might be disappointed but I would prefer he bow out before we meet if my looks and/or desires are not something he can accommodate. If he isn't honest (e.g. doesn't like kissing) I feel perfectly justified in walking out of the session with little or no remuneration.

 

I completely agree with you. I think it is extremely important to exchange as much detail as possible in order to improve the chances to have a good experience. That's why it puzzles me when some of our friends here argue that because soliciting is illegal we should avoid explicit conversations. In my experience, explicit is GOOD.

[+ quoththeraven]

E

 

 

Even the Panthers weren't the kind of immediate, violent, eye-for-eye retribution we saw in Dallas the other day.

 

He's not part of Black Lives Matters. He's stirred up by the same things they are, but he's not a protestor, and you are not doing the facts any good by linking them.

 

Charlie Manson had every right to march in a nonviolent anti-black/white supremacist protest, but that's not what he did. He committed murders in the name of precipitating a race war. That is the right analogy, not the Black Panthers.

[+ quoththeraven]

I completely agree with you. I think it is extremely important to exchange as much detail as possible in order to improve the chances to have a good experience. That's why it puzzles me when some of our friends here argue that because soliciting is illegal we should avoid explicit conversations. In my experience, explicit is GOOD.

 

Explicit can be good, but it can come back to bite you in the butt, and it isn't what we're talking about here. We're talking about maximizing the chance of a good encounter by letting the other person know about our age and appearance, including perceived racial characteristics, because as Rudynate observes, race is a social, not a genetic, construct.

 

There is also a way of minimizing the issues with explicit discussions: don't link them to or include them in discussions of financial arrangements.

[seaboy4hire]

If it makes you feel more comfortable making sure one is ok with whatever race you are do it. People have their preferences. Me personally I don't care what race someone is. To me, sexy is sexy regardless of ones skin tone. Yes, I have been asked if I am ok with seeing black, white, asian and latino. I wasn't raised to see color first or third. I was raised to see the person as an individual first and foremost. Are they a good person? Do they treat others well? Etc. How a person treats themselves and others is what is important to me, not the color of their skin. Good and bad come in all colors.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[Rudynate]

He's not part of Black Lives Matters. He's stirred up by the same things they are, but he's not a protestor, and you are not doing the facts any good by linking them.

 

Charlie Manson had every right to march in a nonviolent anti-black/white supremacist protest, but that's not what he did. He committed murders in the name of precipitating a race war. That is the right analogy, not the Black Panthers.

 

 

You're the one who brought up the Panthers. The Dallas shooting was a criminal act for sure, and certainly not part of an organized protest. But it was a criminal act borne of an unprecedented level of frustration with the status quo.

[+ José Soplanucas]

If it makes you feel more comfortable making sure one is ok with whatever race you are do it. People have their preferences. Me personally I don't care what race someone is. To me, sexy is sexy regardless of ones skin tone. Yes, I have been asked if I am ok with seeing black, white, asian and latino. I wasn't raised to see color first or third. I was raised to see the person as an individual first and foremost. Are they a good person? Do they treat others well? Etc. How a person treats themselves and others is what is important to me, not the color of their skin. Good and bad come in all colors.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

I agree, Greg, if we are talking about friends, or about assessing someone's character, race is absolutely irrelevant.

[+ quoththeraven]

You're the one who brought up the Panthers. The Dallas shooting was a criminal act for sure, and certainly not part of an organized protest. But it was a criminal act borne of an unprecedented level of frustration with the status quo.

 

I misunderstood what you meant by "targeted." I thought you meant "organized movement."

[Rudynate]

I misunderstood what you meant by "targeted." I thought you meant "organized movement."

 

I should have made myself clearer, sorry. It wouldn't surprise me if we saw more crimes like this . . . .somebody who snaps and says to himself, "We've been trying to work through a racist system to fight racism for decades, and what has it gotten us? We need to start kicking some ass."

[+ Eric Hassan]

If it makes you feel more comfortable making sure one is ok with whatever race you are do it. People have their preferences. Me personally I don't care what race someone is. To me, sexy is sexy regardless of ones skin tone. Yes, I have been asked if I am ok with seeing black, white, asian and latino. I wasn't raised to see color first or third. I was raised to see the person as an individual first and foremost. Are they a good person? Do they treat others well? Etc. How a person treats themselves and others is what is important to me, not the color of their skin. Good and bad come in all colors.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

+10,000

[Mark tunnel]

its usually best just to ask. If they aren't interested then they will say so or not show up. Its a lot better than him getting there and it not being what you expected.

[JamahlBrandon]

I sent an escort a message on Whatsapp asking him if he was okay with the fact that I am black, yesterday in the morning, he's not responded as at this afternoon, so I am a bit weary about the prospects of hiring him.

 

I have been in the US for sometime now and I am still trying to wrap my head around the social dynamics of the American society. Apart from an incident with an escort, I have not had any overt display of racism or racial bias thus, the whole topic makes me deeply uncomfortable. My favorite days are when i hear statements like

1. Hey you talk really funny.

2. Yo, bruh why you talk like you is white.

3. I was not expecting a black person, you sounded really nice over the phone

4. Why are you talking like a British (Briton), you are black.

 

I usually giggle or laugh at statements like those, because i truly find them funny even though I recognise the inherent error in them

 

Re: those comments, any reasonably traveled person would not Actually believe those things. Growing up in Florida, kids would tease other kids who Were transplants from California...saying they talked "white" or proper. No, it's just people out west tend to speak without accents and dialects. It doesn't make them any less or more ethnic.

 

White or black, half the time i can't understand what anyone it's saying in Tennessee. But in salt lake city, i can understand just fine.

 

That said, i think escorts have some privilege to know who they're meeting.

[+ harey]

I know this is a controversial topic, but how do you go about asking the rather unfortunate question 'are you okay with my race?'

 

Is it safe to assume that if an escort has not established any racial boundaries in their advertisement then it is unlikely that they will have a problem with a client's race?

 

I am asking because I have been in a very uncomfortable situation with regards to my race with an escort and I'd really love to avoid that unfortunate encounter.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. You got very good advice here to take care of yourself first. As others mentioned, an escort's profile will sometimes state no judgement or all are welcome, which is a good sign, but it's never safe to assume anything before a first meeting. Will it bother you to check for racial hang-ups first, or no big deal for you to state that up front? I think that's the question you need to answer.

 

To be honest, it never occurred to me that an escort would have a problem with a client's heritage. That's outrageous, and I'm sorry you went through it.

[Lab12]

Well, after all the hullabaloo about this trip, I get to Miami and lose my wallet so I don't even get to meet the escort for whom this concern was raised. No debauchery for me, I am buggered beyond repair!!!

[rvwnsd]

I consider myself an attractive guy who hires. However, I also know that chemistry takes two for it to work. I always provide a succinct yet informative physical description of myself to my companion. I try to be as objective as I can about height, weight, etc. When it comes to race, I state that I'm Latino. I even tell the guy I'm uncut. I do all this for 2 reasons: I like for the escort to be as fully informed as possible so that he can opt in/out but also so that he can put himself in the frame of mind to make the best of our time together. The second reason is pride: by writing down or telling him my dimensions - height, weight, race, etc, I'm subsconsciously owning who I perceive myself to be physically. Not with the intent to box me in, but to be proud of my own packaging.

 

Yet another occasion where we think alike. I always give a description of myself, including a mention that I am 6'4", as some guys are either uncomfortable with being significantly shorter (a guy of "average" height, which is 5'10," is six inches shorter than me) or the gymnastics required to, say, kiss while fucking, may not work.

 

My advice to the OP is to describe yourself and not ask if a guy is "OK with your race."

 

Believe it or not, when growing up in the 1970's Mr. White Guy here was subjected to verbal taunts due to his ethnic background. I'm of Polish and German descent. If it wasn't a dumb Pollack comment it was being called a Nazi. It got old. Very, very old.

 

When people long for those halcyon days before "political correctness" made open ethnic and racial slurs the subject of scorn I have to gag.