Do we have to fuck? Inspired by Gar1eth

[WolfRamNHard]

@Gar1eth you may have hit on something. I really don't get much pleasure from my prostate with toys, fingers or cocks, so there is nothing to balance the pain. It's not the minor and passing pain of penetration. It's more a deep pain AND lack of pleasure that persists throughout. I think it's time to make greater use of my mouth, which is so enjoyable and let go of the "I'm gay. I must be fucked" fairy tale.....oops! Seriously, @marylander1940 and you @Gar1eth , this is huge for me. I thought every gay had to be a bottom or a top. Think I'll focus on sucking, rimming, kissing, jacking and frottage. That should keep me busy. Thank you so much.

 

As I have mentioned previously, I came out when I was 16, but it was a political coming out. This was in the early 90s and my friends were all part of the "critical theory lesbian-feminist Queer Nation/ACTUP" subset. My first sexual experience happened during that time, and it was non-consensual and painful (physically and emotionally). After that, even though I still stayed socially and politically active in the gay community, I didn't actually have any kind of sex with anyone for about 5 years. Subsequent to that, all sexual intimacy was strictly limited to kissing, making out and oral/rimming. I never felt like I was missing out. I didn't have anal sex again until I was in my early 30s.

 

Anyway, getting to my point - glennn, I can empathize with you in some ways. You shouldn't feel like anal sex is the be-all and end-all of gay sex. It's also just as perfectly fine to enjoy body contact, kissing, rimming, cuddling, oral. Many people equate being gay with ass-fucking, but there are many other ways to enjoy sexual intimacy that shouldn't be considered inferior or taken less seriously.

[LivingnLA]

@Gar1eth you may have hit on something. I really don't get much pleasure from my prostate with toys, fingers or cocks, so there is nothing to balance the pain. It's not the minor and passing pain of penetration. It's more a deep pain AND lack of pleasure that persists throughout. I think it's time to make greater use of my mouth, which is so enjoyable and let go of the "I'm gay. I must be fucked" fairy tale.....oops! Seriously, @marylander1940 and you @Gar1eth , this is huge for me. I thought every gay had to be a bottom or a top. Think I'll focus on sucking, rimming, kissing, jacking and frottage. That should keep me busy. Thank you so much.

 

Some people for a whole host of reasons don't experience pleasure from being anally penetrated. Cheers to you for being open to the possibility that you might be one of those people and rolling with it.

[BasketBaller]

I completely accept that some guys get no pleasure from being penetrated. I'm even grateful that there are dedicated tops out there!

 

And hearing stories about guys being openly gay in their teens is very affecting to me. I can't regret the life that brought my boys to the world, and don't. But part of me will always wonder what it would have been like if I'd faced facts earlier, and acted on my attraction to men instead of pretending it didn't exist.

[alexslaveboy]

I am absolutely not into androgynous or child-looking men. At all. But I HATE facial hair and I prefer smooth torsos, butts and asses. Natural pubes and pits are fine. However, for some strange reason, the combination of a smooth upper body and hairy legs turns me on big time, big time. Go figure. Different strokes....

@liubit

Smooth upper bodies with pit hair and hairy legs is my utopia when hiring my muscle worship guys!!

[+ sniper]

I completely accept that some guys get no pleasure from being penetrated. I'm even grateful that there are dedicated tops out there!

 

And hearing stories about guys being openly gay in their teens is very affecting to me. I can't regret the life that brought my boys to the world, and don't. But part of me will always wonder what it would have been like if I'd faced facts earlier, and acted on my attraction to men instead of pretending it didn't exist.

 

It is what it is. Look at it this way: had you come out in your teens you might have contracted HIV before there was a treatment and not be around period. That's how I rationalize spending my teens and 20s in the closet. (But I couldn't bring myself to date women because the Catholic schoolboy in me thought that was such a horrible thing to lie to someone like that...).

[WolfRamNHard]

I completely accept that some guys get no pleasure from being penetrated. I'm even grateful that there are dedicated tops out there!

 

And hearing stories about guys being openly gay in their teens is very affecting to me. I can't regret the life that brought my boys to the world, and don't. But part of me will always wonder what it would have been like if I'd faced facts earlier, and acted on my attraction to men instead of pretending it didn't exist.

 

Yep, you got that right, the grass may seem greener, but we all have our struggles. I have no hangups about the gay thing and I'm very secure in my "masculinity." On the other hand, I'm really messed up about sex. I'm not that good at it, and I can't even have a proper orgasm when other people are around. Maybe that part would have turned out better if things had played out differently.

 

Don't you sometimes wish that life were like a videogame where you get a do-over by just restoring back to a previous save point?!

[WolfRamNHard]

Reminds me of this song for some reason -

 

 

I used to have such a crush on Bernard Sumner back then, especially his voice

[+ José Soplanucas]

http://ib4.huluim.com/show_key_art/482?size=1600x600&region=US

 

Of course, in my case my wish is for a time machine, but when I am in that place I quickly move on. We cannot change the past, we did what we could in our circumstances. Just learn your lessons and do your best.

My crush was with the turtle neck guy from The Time Tunnel. I did not even know what was sexual attraction, I just had erections every time he would be unconscious.

[+ Gar1eth]

I think we are missing a point here. Let's say you have the choice of two potential husbands, partners, hook-ups, or escorts. You are attracted to both of them equally. They are each your total ideal. The only difference between them is that Potential Guy A (P.G. A for short) is ready willing and able to be your perfect anal intercourse partner whatever requirements those are whether you are a top/bottom/versatile.

 

P.G. B is exactly the same physically and mentally except he is not 'into' anal intercourse. But he will do everything up to anal intercourse.

 

You can only choose one of them.

 

If you had your choice, how many of us would choose P.G. A and how many of us P.G. B?

 

I maintain if you choose B, then 'anal intercourse' may not be that important to you in general. And of course you'd answer 'No' to the query Marylander has proposed in this Thread.

 

Personally while I could enjoy my time with A, (and I have), if I have my druthers, I'd pick B.

 

And as regards escorts, I very much would pick B.

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

Hi, I'm back! No, it's not necessary to fuck to have a good time, something my date last night proved to me, but some of us (me included) would miss it if it were off the menu entirely. But that's why open relationships and the like exist.

 

I wasn't even expecting sex to be on the menu, but it turns out my date's into anal play and rimming. He didn't get hard (he normally uses a cock ring), but I fucked him with a dildo and he came while I was sucking him and fingering his butt. He's been to a transsexual strip club and I think (although I'm not certain) he's played around with some of them.

 

Anal sex with a cis guy doesn't appeal to him, though. I asked him why, and it's because his partner moving, presenting and looking like a woman matters. I don't know if this is an atavistic "can't be attracted to men" response or is simply a sharp and decided preference for female partners. I believe there are people who are natural, hardwired Kinsey 0s and 6s, or monosexuals, as some academic papers I've read call them. He may be one of them.

[+ Keith30309]

Hi, I'm back! No, it's not necessary to fuck to have a good time, something my date last night proved to me, but some of us (me included) would miss it if it were off the menu entirely. But that's why open relationships and the like exist.

 

 

Yea! Welcome back!

[+ Gar1eth]

Hi, I'm back! No, it's not necessary to fuck to have a good time, something my date last night proved to me, but some of us (me included) would miss it if it were off the menu entirely. But that's why open relationships and the like exist.

 

I wasn't even expecting sex to be on the menu, but it turns out my date's into anal play and rimming. He didn't get hard (he normally uses a cock ring), but I fucked him with a dildo and he came while I was sucking him and fingering his butt. He's been to a transsexual strip club and I think (although I'm not certain) he's played around with some of them.

 

Anal sex with a cis guy doesn't appeal to him, though. I asked him why, and it's because his partner moving, presenting and looking like a woman matters. I don't know if this is an atavistic "can't be attracted to men" response or is simply a sharp and decided preference for female partners. I believe there people who are natural, hardwired Kinsey 0s and 6s, or monosexuals, as some academic papers I've read call them. He may be one of them.

 

I had looked the other day and seen you hadn't checked in since the middle of last month. I was hoping nothing was wrong.

 

I'm glad to see you back.

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

I had looked the other day and seen you hadn't checked in since the middle of last month. I was hoping nothing was wrong.

 

I'm glad to see you back.

 

Gman

 

I had technical difficulties with the site, was going to check it out on my desktop, which I use far less than my tablet, and then got busy. In more senses than one. Dealing with dating site messages, not to speak of parsing profiles, fathom intentions, and trying to schedule anything is time-consuming in itself and took some of the time I would have spent here.

 

Thanks! Good to be back. And I have lots if articles saved up to share, mostly about politics, but I probably won't have time to post them and will wind up deleting them.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I had technical difficulties with the site, was going to check it out on my desktop, which I use far less than my tablet, and then got busy. In more senses than one. Dealing with dating site messages, not to speak of parsing profiles, fathom intentions, and trying to schedule anything is time-consuming in itself and took some of the time I would have spent here.

 

Thanks! Good to be back. And I have lots if articles saved up to share, mostly about politics, but I probably won't have time to post them and will wind up deleting them.

AND lots of threads to catch up. Welcome back!

[+ quoththeraven]

AND lots of threads to catch up. Welcome back!

 

Oh, I know better than that. Learned that lesson elsewhere. There's no catching up completely, so just let it go.

[+ glennnn]

Kind of the same thing with political articles. It's all moving so fast (new scandals, new outrages, new hopes, new disappointments, etc) that there is no catching up. One just lets it go, unless it is particularly cogent. When I'm away from home for a week, I record my fav news show, Rachel Maddow, but I seldom view the old shows when I get home. They are like meteors that almost hit the Earth last week, smashing civilization; they missed, and are far less riveting than the ones due today!

 

Welcome back. Your imput has been missed.

 

Now, back to our regularly scheduled thread......

Another possible advantage of a "no fucking" gay sex life for me would be dispensing with all that deep cleaning regimen. LOL

[+ quoththeraven]

Kind of the same thing with political articles. It's all moving so fast (new scandals, new outrages, new hopes, new disappointments, etc) that there is no catching up. One just lets it go, unless it is particularly cogent. When I'm away from home for a week, I record my fav news show, Rachel Maddow, but I seldom view the old shows when I get home. They are like meteors that almost hit the Earth last week, smashing civilization; they missed, and are far less riveting than the ones due today!

 

Welcome back. Your imput has been missed.

 

Now, back to our regularly scheduled thread......

Another possible advantage of a "no fucking" gay sex life for me would be dispensing with all that deep cleaning regimen. LOL

 

I am so grateful that I am built such that the deep cleaning regimen is not required (yes, I know, I should have been born a gay man; God is laughing) and that Chris Eisenhower convinced me of the merits of hybrid lube. My partner was skeptical about using lube while he was fingering my butt, but when I insisted he found out how much better it made everything. Plus I can't do a hand job without it. My hand just gets stuck and can't glide over the skin.

[+ FreshFluff]

Good to have you back, QTR!

[+ honcho]

I'm very happy to see QTR and FreshFluff both participating again; I'm missing the third of the triumvirate,

[uSER=9089]@Tyro[/uSER] (the salty broad) who seems to be MIA. Anybody heard from her lately?

[WolfRamNHard]

I think we are missing a point here. Let's say you have the choice of two potential husbands, partners, hook-ups, or escorts. You are attracted to both of them equally. They are each your total ideal. The only difference between them is that Potential Guy A (P.G. A for short) is ready willing and able to be your perfect anal intercourse partner whatever requirements those are whether you are a top/bottom/versatile.

 

P.G. B is exactly the same physically and mentally except he is not 'into' anal intercourse. But he will do everything up to anal intercourse.

 

You can only choose one of them.

 

If you had your choice, how many of us would choose P.G. A and how many of us P.G. B?

 

I maintain if you choose B, then 'anal intercourse' may not be that important to you in general. And of course you'd answer 'No' to the query Marylander has proposed in this Thread.

 

Personally while I could enjoy my time with A, (and I have), if I have my druthers, I'd pick B.

 

And as regards escorts, I very much would pick B.

 

Gman

 

Call me greedy but I would try my very hardest to have both.

 

[+ Gar1eth]

I think we are missing a point here. Let's say you have the choice of two potential husbands, partners, hook-ups, or escorts. You are attracted to both of them equally. They are each your total ideal. The only difference between them is that Potential Guy A (P.G. A for short) is ready willing and able to be your perfect anal intercourse partner whatever requirements those are whether you are a top/bottom/versatile.

 

P.G. B is exactly the same physically and mentally except he is not 'into' anal intercourse. But he will do everything up to anal intercourse.

 

You can only choose one of them.

 

If you had your choice, how many of us would choose P.G. A and how many of us P.G. B?

 

I maintain if you choose B, then 'anal intercourse' may not be that important to you in general. And of course you'd answer 'No' to the query Marylander has proposed in this Thread.

 

Personally while I could enjoy my time with A, (and I have), if I have my druthers, I'd pick B.

 

And as regards escorts, I very much would pick B.

 

Gman

Call me greedy but I would try my very hardest to have both.

 

 

Would that we could. But it's impossible. Whom do you choose P.G. A or P.G. B?

 

Gman

[tyro]

I'm very happy to see QTR and FreshFluff both participating again; I'm missing the third of the triumvirate,

[uSER=9089]@Tyro[/uSER] (the salty broad) who seems to be MIA. Anybody heard from her lately?

Hey y'all! Just took one of those forum vacas that JJT recommended so long ago. The rumors of my demise, as always, have been greatly exaggerated.

T

[+ José Soplanucas]

Hey y'all! Just took one of those forum vacas that JJT recommended so long ago. The rumors of my demise, as always, have been greatly exaggerated.

T

 

Yey!

http://cliparts.co/cliparts/dT9/rxd/dT9rxdkXc.jpg

[tyro]

Yey!

http://cliparts.co/cliparts/dT9/rxd/dT9rxdkXc.jpg

Thank you! Big long-distance hug.

T