A question about climax

[BasketBaller]

I have hired a few very busy, well-reviewed escorts who I know book as many clients on their visits as they can. I hire tops only. So a question occurred to me that is either something they might appreciate or will make me sound like a selfish bastard.

 

In a session where we've had fun and you've done a great job, would it make your job easier if you didn't cum? How would it sound if, in our discussion of what I was looking for, I said it was okay with me if you didn't climax?

 

That's counter-intuitive to me since even in hiring there's some desire for it to be mutually enjoyable. But if you're seeing me late morning and have another client later in the day, would you appreciate being able to hold off, or would that make it sound like I didn't care what it was like for you?

 

I know, probably not an issue, but I wondered if anybody ever says that, and if so, how escorts feel about it.

[+ glennnn]

This is a huge deal to me! I really LOVE for my guy to cum in my mouth. Often the only thing that gets me off is to jack off while he feeds me. I am aware of my escort's need to "save something" for subsequent clients so it isn't a deal breaker, but my need is to swallow his load everytime if possible. It's what making love to a man means to me.

I also don't like to seem greedy or selfish, but the Forum has taught me to communicate clearly and ask for what I want. I also realize my escort is not a machine and can not guarantee an ejaculation, but I do ask that we try to include it. Of course, I'm willing to schedule our time together to allow him his best chance to recover and, therefore to please all of his clients.

[Juan Vancouver]

BasketBaller,

 

I think you are making a very common erroneous correlation: you are implying that by both orgasming it is shown that it was enjoyable for both parties. I can have fun, incredible fun for hours without cumming. An orgasm is to me just another element of an intimate encounter, which like oral, or kissing, or looking into each other's eyes might or might not happen but will definitely not detract from the enjoyment of the session.

 

If anything, what would detract from my enjoyment is if my partner aggressively demanded for something specific to take place.

 

When I book sessions I let my clients know very clearly that I do not sell, promise or negotiate fluids or activities. If my partner is not looking for an organic session in which two willings adults are exploring each other and deciding on the spot what's next, then I know we are not a good match and I would not make him happy. I only want to meet people that I think I can make happy.

 

And to answer your question, yes, some clients are very clear beforehand that elements in the session are not mandatory. How do I feel about these clients? It feels natural, respectful and I am always excited to see them.

 

Saying this will absolutely not make you sound like a selfish bastard; it will make you sound like a respectful man, that honours your escort's humanity and understands that intimacy is something fluid and unscripted.

[+ Funguy]

BasketBaller,

 

I think you are making a very common erroneous correlation: you are implying that by both orgasming it is shown that it was enjoyable for both parties. I can have fun, incredible fun for hours without cumming. An orgasm is to me just another element of an intimate encounter, which like oral, or kissing, or looking into each other's eyes might or might not happen but will definitely not detract from the enjoyment of the session.

 

If anything, what would detract from my enjoyment is if my partner aggressively demanded for something specific to take place.

 

When I book sessions I let my clients know very clearly that I do not sell, promise or negotiate fluids or activities. If my partner is not looking for an organic session in which two willings adults are exploring each other and deciding on the spot what's next, then I know we are not a good match and I would not make him happy. I only want to meet people that I think I can make happy.

 

And to answer your question, yes, some clients are very clear beforehand that elements in the session are not mandatory. How do I feel about these clients? It feels natural, respectful and I am always excited to see them.

 

Saying this will absolutely not make you sound like a selfish bastard; it will make you sound like a respectful man, that honours your escort's humanity and understands that intimacy is something fluid and unscripted.

 

 

+++

[+ Lance_Navarro]

@Juan Vancouver pretty much said it perfectly. While orgasms are terrific, to me they should not be the "goal". If a guy expresses the desire to see me cum (or taste me ), I am very happy to, and fortunately I'm rarely so busy that it would be an issue or difficulty. I would say in 50% of my sessions though, I don't, and it doesn't mean that I enjoyed it any less.

 

I also have many sessions in which my client doesn't cum, and there's nothing wrong with that either. Reaching full climax can be difficult for varieties of reasons, and it's better to just relax and enjoy the beautiful energy than to force something. Also, many guys enjoy the tantric experience and rather take that energy away with them, rather than explode it all over their tummy (or chest, or wall).

[alexslaveboy]

As a client, I agree with Juan and Lance.

I am not insulted or letdown if an escort doesn't cum during our session.

 

Sometimes I cum twice during a session or sometimes not at all and would hope that it also doesn't matter to the escort if I do not cum sometimes either!

[BryanKnight]

It's the considerate, correct option to offer your date.

Personally, I prefer not to climax and prefer to stay horny all the time, even after sessions.

The horniness, cockiness and confidence bleeds over into the rest of my life.

For example.

 

At the shopping center.

"Would you like paper or plastic?"

 

*flex the pecs*

"If I don't take either, would you knock off a buck from the bill?"

 

*counter woman/man is hot and flustered*

'I...uh..."

*discretely applies employee discount*

 

"Thanks."

Wink. Turn. Bounce the butt a bit as I walk away.

[BasketBaller]

Thanks, all, good to know. For whatever reason, all my previous escorts did cum, so I wasn't sure.

[MikeyGMin]

Enjoy the shared experience? Sure. Not a deal-breaker? Sure. But let's be real, it's nice when someone cums. I'm one of the most easy-going clients imaginable, but a guy who cums for me is a guy who gets asked back -- often.

[Juan Vancouver]

Enjoy the shared experience? Sure. Not a deal-breaker? Sure. But let's be real.../QUOTE]

 

That very simple figure of speech has the power of discounting everyone else's opinions. I suggest that instead of using a "let's be real"(Which means "Yeah, that's all nice and sweet but you are all not telling the truth") you could use the very factual and respectful "For me, it is different; I prefer..."

 

Nobody is going to judge you for wanting someone to cum. You have every right to want someone to cum. Your life, your rules. I just believe that you don't have the right to discount other people's arguments on such a private and personal preference.

 

I sincerely hope that in all your sessions, someone does ejaculate.

[MikeyGMin]

 

Thanks coach, but let's be real, I think I'll take my writing advice from someone slightly less sanctimonious. You see how that expression can be used to mean that I strongly believe something without discounting anyone else's opinion that you are not condescending?

[Juan Vancouver]

Of course you should be allowed to take your advise from whoever you want, but... let's be real...

 

Nothing. It's your life. You are allowed to communicate whatever the way you want. Knock your socks off!

[+ Eric Hassan]

I have hired a few very busy, well-reviewed escorts who I know book as many clients on their visits as they can. I hire tops only. So a question occurred to me that is either something they might appreciate or will make me sound like a selfish bastard.

 

In a session where we've had fun and you've done a great job, would it make your job easier if you didn't cum? How would it sound if, in our discussion of what I was looking for, I said it was okay with me if you didn't climax?

 

That's counter-intuitive to me since even in hiring there's some desire for it to be mutually enjoyable. But if you're seeing me late morning and have another client later in the day, would you appreciate being able to hold off, or would that make it sound like I didn't care what it was like for you?

 

I know, probably not an issue, but I wondered if anybody ever says that, and if so, how escorts feel about it.

 

I've had guys say that to me and I've never been the slightest bit bothered or offended. It's sweet that someone who hires me thinks about my experience in that way.

[gallahadesquire]

I'm almost embarrassed to write this ... I have never had an orgasm with someone else. Perhaps too much self stimulation through my formative years.

 

I really, really enjoy bringing my "partner in crime" [i've been watching too many reruns of The Good Wife ... love the neckties] to climax. Or to whatever end they'd like. I had one escort tell me that I'd thrown him off his game because I was concentrating on his pleasure ... which is my pleasure.

 

SO, I suppose, I really don't care. My ED doesn't help, but just the intimacy brings joy to my life. On the parallel thread about "Hugs": I get it. Not the nude photos, but the NYT article.

I could put in a gratuitous plug for a certain Escort on this forum, but I shall refrain. Our overall interactions--verbal and physical--brought me more pleasure than any number of orgasms ever will.

 

Oh, by the way: From what I can tell, BPH helps increase the intensity of my orgasms. An alpha-blocker would help my blood pressure, but might interfere with the increased sensuality of the orgasms I have experienced over the past five years or so.

 

V: Missa ita est.

R: Deo gratias.

[Beancounter]

I could put in a gratuitous plug for a certain Escort on this forum, but I shall refrain. Our overall interactions--verbal and physical--brought me more pleasure than any number of orgasms ever will.

 

I totally agree!

[+ DickyF]

I'm almost embarrassed to write this ... I have never had an orgasm with someone else. Perhaps too much self stimulation through my formative years.

 

I really, really enjoy bringing my "partner in crime" [i've been watching too many reruns of The Good Wife ... love the neckties] to climax. Or to whatever end they'd like. I had one escort tell me that I'd thrown him off his game because I was concentrating on his pleasure ... which is my pleasure.

 

SO, I suppose, I really don't care. My ED doesn't help, but just the intimacy brings joy to my life. On the parallel thread about "Hugs": I get it. Not the nude photos, but the NYT article.

I could put in a gratuitous plug for a certain Escort on this forum, but I shall refrain. Our overall interactions--verbal and physical--brought me more pleasure than any number of orgasms ever will.

 

Oh, by the way: From what I can tell, BPH helps increase the intensity of my orgasms. An alpha-blocker would help my blood pressure, but might interfere with the increased sensuality of the orgasms I have experienced over the past five years or so.

 

V: Missa ita est.

R: Deo gratias.

 

Wow - I'm practically in the same situation! I have not cum in the presence of another in years though I do have an erection. I know we are a small minority. Straight and gay men can have it. From what I've read it is almost impossible to cure with therapy.

I really love cuddling and oral with anal once in a while. Only once do I recall an escort being put off by my lack of orgasm. I can fully relate to the pent up horniness by delayed orgasm!

Your BPH description reminds of an exercise that will supposedly increase orgasm intensity- it's to stop and start repeatedly your urination. It's the same exercise women use after childbirth to restore their bladder control. I guess it exercises the muscle?

[Reluctant Daddy]

If I don't get my partner to cum during a session, I feel like I was a dud.

[Rudynate]

Wow - I'm practically in the same situation! I have not cum in the presence of another in years though I do have an erection. I know we are a small minority. Straight and gay men can have it. From what I've read it is almost impossible to cure with therapy.

I really love cuddling and oral with anal once in a while. Only once do I recall an escort being put off by my lack of orgasm. I can fully relate to the pent up horniness by delayed orgasm!

Your BPH description reminds of an exercise that will supposedly increase orgasm intensity- it's to stop and start repeatedly your urination. It's the same exercise women use after childbirth to restore their bladder control. I guess it exercises the muscle?

 

I'm the same way. Somehow, I have conditioned myself to only be able to cum beating off. I would like to regain the ability to cum during fucking. I had a phone conversation with SimplyAdam about it. He's had a lot of experience with guys who find themselves in this situation. He's optimistic about a solution. I really like the idea of traveling to NYC to see my gorgeous gay sex therapist.

 

OTOH, because cumming is so difficult, I last and last and last.

[Rudynate]

 

Oh, by the way: From what I can tell, BPH helps increase the intensity of my orgasms. An alpha-blocker would help my blood pressure, but might interfere with the increased sensuality of the orgasms I have experienced over the past five years or so.

 

 

 

Sex on an alpha-blocker can be pretty amazing - it gets positively tantric, at least with me. I had to stop the alpha blocker because it drove my BP too low. Instead, I take Cialis for daily use.

[Nvr2Thick]

I'm a pleaser by nature. I'm attracted to men who seek their own pleasure and who create the expectation that I provide it for them. Sex is boring for me when I'm with another pleaser. My partner has to be able to at least take on the role of a taker. With little exception acts are centered on his erection for both my partner and me as a result. Sessions can be quick or can tolerate quite a bit of exploration, however, at some point he's going to be driven to achieving orgasm and I'm going to be making sure he gets there.

 

There's a sensation I get when a top cums -- whether it's the result of five minutes of skilled head, or whether he worked it out of himself after an hour of creative fucking and hard pounding. I get a sense of warmth, satisfaction; there's a sensation maybe best described as pride, though that's not quite it. He's lost control and I've taken it from him in the end, but I've also provided him with that feeling. My climax is an afterthought. If a partner helps to bring me off while he's still basking in his own release that can be fun though.

 

When I'm arranging an encounter with an escort I try to set the expectation that this is the experience I'm looking for. Many escorts agree up front that the experience is not only acceptable, but suits their own expectations. If an escort is evasive about these types of expectations or harps too much about caveats I get the impression that he's saving himself for his next encounters, or he's going to try to maneuver our encounter to his own ends rather than mine.

 

Climax is the icing on the cake. I think cake should have icing.

[TruthBTold]

I'm with you, Nvr2Thick. My regular guy has been trying to get me to cum while he is fucking me. I actually would like it but physically haven't been able to do it. Otherwise I always make it my goal to get him off, preferably anally but have an oral talent. Then a nice JO for me while he is fingering me and kissing me is good.

[+ glennnn]

It seems there are several of us with some of the same problems regarding achieving a personal orgasm while with our escorts, subsequently, placing emphasis on his ejaculation. @TruthBTold, @Nvr2Thick, @gallahadesquire, @DickyF, and I (and perhaps many others) should probably continue to share our experiences and knowledge to help each other. I'll go first. As I've said, my climax comes from masturbation when he cums in my mouth. I'm working on successfully jacking off while being fucked or sucked. So far, no luck. I have BPH and ED. Stopping the other meds for at least 72 hours and increasing the Cialis before seeing an escort greatly increases the chance of success for some reason. Anyone else experience this? Any other strategies? Truth, any suggestions on cumming while being fucked? The closest I came was him on top, lots of kissing, and slow strokes........almost made it.

[Rudynate]

It seems there are several of us with some of the same problems regarding achieving a personal orgasm while with our escorts, subsequently, placing emphasis on his ejaculation. @TruthBTold, @Nvr2Thick, @gallahadesquire, @DickyF, and I (and perhaps many others) should probably continue to share our experiences and knowledge to help each other. I'll go first. As I've said, my climax comes from masturbation when he cums in my mouth. I'm working on successfully jacking off while being fucked or sucked. So far, no luck. I have BPH and ED. Stopping the other meds for at least 72 hours and increasing the Cialis before seeing an escort greatly increases the chance of success for some reason. Anyone else experience this? Any other strategies? Truth, any suggestions on cumming while being fucked? The closest I came was him on top, lots of kissing, and slow strokes........almost made it.

 

 

When I have a play date scheduled, I skip the Cialis and instead take sildenafil 100 mg. It pretty much guarantees that a good time will be had by all.

[+ glennnn]

When I have a play date scheduled, I skip the Cialis and instead take sildenafil 100 mg. It pretty much guarantees that a good time will be had by all.

 

Rudynate,

Sildenafil is Viagra, right? I tried it years ago, but maybe I should try it again. I take Cialis 5mg/day for BPH. Think I'll see my GP today. I have a playdate Monday! Thanks, Rudy

[+ glennnn]

@ForgottenClone

I don't mean to reduce two hours of pleasure to just that 5 second release of ball juice, but often no release after so much stimulation is painful; the dreaded "blueballs" are real and not fun. I love the hugging, the kissing, the sucking, rimming and fucking, but something in my little masculine brain also longs to see, touch and taste some sticky, white stuff from somebody in order to be completely satisfied and let go. I hear you and will try harder to be satisfied with a cumless playdate.

 

I can't cum. You can't stop cumming. Mother Nature is hilarious!