An Extremely Awkward Situation

[Reluctant Daddy]

Today I received a text from someone I didn't know. This person knew me by name, and knew where I worked (my cell is through my employer). It turns out it was this rough trade escort I contacted through backpage last year. I never hired him and politely declined after receiving a pic (kind of hot younger guy, but with face tats).

 

Apparently his "girl" was gone for the day and he wanted to get together for $100.00. I begged off because of work. I'm afraid that he's going to keep contacting me and possibly just show up at some point. If I agree to meet and give him money, I'm afraid that it's going to lead to more requests. Any ideas on how to get rid of him without getting him pissed or involving authorities? I really don't need this kind of headache in my life.

[down_to_business]

A) Please don't contact me anymore

 

or B) Hey XXXX... I recently got in a new relationship and I don't do this kind of thing any more. I think this one is going to last, but I will contact you in the future if things ever do change. Please don't contact me because I really plan on making this one work.

[bigvalboy]

A) Please don't contact me anymore

 

or B) Hey XXXX... I recently got in a new relationship and I don't do this kind of thing any more. I think this one is going to last, but I will contact you in the future if things ever do change. Please don't contact me because I really plan on making this one work.

 

B...

 

Going forward, by a Trac phone from the grocery store or Best Buy. Use it just for those hires that you want to keep separate from your life.

[down_to_business]

B...

 

 

OMG I forgot I used B. I sure hope the escort doesn't read this message board!

[rvwnsd]

I concur with those who think you should block his number. Also, whether you get a prepaid phone or simply get your own personal cell phone, you probably should not use your company phone for personal use. There could be a policy somewhere that prohibits you from using it for personal business.

[Reluctant Daddy]

I'm allowed to use my work phone for legit personal use (family, appointments, etc.). I was stupid giving him my cell number, but this is when I first started trying to hire and really wasn't using my head. I've since moved to Google voice. I can block, but he's already got my info.

 

The thing that creeps me out is that he apparently kept my number for 9-10 months and felt the need to Google it and my personal info now. I'm also not sure whether he's kept any of the original texts (I don't even know what I said - I deleted them right after). Obviously he's looking for quick and easy money. I'm not sure whether he's smart or brave enough to threaten and follow through with anything to get it.

[MiamiLooker]

I wouldn't text him or leave voice messages.

+1

[maninsoma]

I wouldn't freak out too much. True, we don't know enough about this guy to know where he will go with your information, but consider this opposite scenario to the one you're worried about (i.e., that he has your info and is personally coming after you): He's addicted to drugs and is desperately trying to make money by contacting everyone who ever contacted him in the past to see if he can drum up business. I once had this happen to me. (Well, I obviously don't know that the guy contacted everyone who had ever called him but he did contact me even though I had never hired him and my initial contact with him was several months in the past.) The guy was basically begging to be hired because he was desperate for money. I simply ignored his message and never heard from him again.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I wouldn't freak out too much. True, we don't know enough about this guy to know where he will go with your information, but consider this opposite scenario to the one you're worried about (i.e., that he has your info and is personally coming after you): He's addicted to drugs and is desperately trying to make money by contacting everyone who ever contacted him in the past to see if he can drum up business. I once had this happen to me. (Well, I obviously don't know that the guy contacted everyone who had ever called him but he did contact me even though I had never hired him and my initial contact with him was several months in the past.) The guy was basically begging to be hired because he was desperate for money. I simply ignored his message and never heard from him again.

 

Yeah, I agree with you here. You are probably just one of a dozen or more guys that he messaged out of desperation to get some money. I wouldnt worry too much. Whether you block him or just politely explain that situations in your life have changed and you no longer are able to get together, I don't think you'll have issues.

[+ Charlie]

Step away from the phone, computer, etc., sir. Do not respond in any way.

[+ Truereview]

I would also add, Clocker, that regardless of whether you have the opportunity to use your work phone for personal matters, if any of the illegal activity came into evidence during an internal investigation at work, your job will be on the line. I don't want to come across as a dick, but it seems to me you are breaching the trust your employer has bestowed upon you to use their phone for personal (not hobby) matters. Something like this could affect your employer's reputation as well. I think @bigvalboy gave you very sound advice. Take care, brother, and thread carefully. Respectfully, TR.

[Reluctant Daddy]

I don't want to come across as a dick

 

You aren't at all. In fact, thank you for reminding me that I was the dick for doing something so incredibly stupid. I got caught up in the moment and let my little head make a very stupid decision. Trac phone on the way home tonight, after I stop at the local cathedral, light a candle and pray that this episode doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

[+ Truereview]

You aren't at all. In fact, thank you for reminding me that I was the dick for doing something so incredibly stupid. I got caught up in the moment and let my little head make a very stupid decision. Trac phone on the way home tonight, after I stop at the local cathedral, light a candle and pray that this episode doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

It is gonna be OK, bud. It won't...I dreamt and had a premonition it wouldn't.

(Cross-thread humor for ya)

[rvwnsd]

I'm allowed to use my work phone for legit personal use (family, appointments, etc.). I was stupid giving him my cell number, but this is when I first started trying to hire and really wasn't using my head. I've since moved to Google voice. I can block, but he's already got my info....

 

That's a great benefit. Just remember that you have no expectation of privacy when using a piece of equipment provided by your employer. A perfectly legitimate, albeit lengthy, call to a broker, airline, bank, family member, or any other personal matter while you are supposed to be working could come back to bite you.

 

....The thing that creeps me out is that he apparently kept my number for 9-10 months and felt the need to Google it and my personal info now. I'm also not sure whether he's kept any of the original texts (I don't even know what I said - I deleted them right after). Obviously he's looking for quick and easy money. I'm not sure whether he's smart or brave enough to threaten and follow through with anything to get it.

 

It is possible that he googled the phone number when you first made contact. I'm just curious: did he actually say "Hi NYClocker, I know you work for XYZ Company would you like to get together for $100 today? My girl is out?" I'm not doubting what you said, it is just unclear as to how the topic of your work came up in conversation.

[Reluctant Daddy]

I'm just curious: did he actually say "Hi NYClocker, I know you work for XYZ Company would you like to get together for $100 today? My girl is out?" I'm not doubting what you said, it is just unclear as to how the topic of your work came up in conversation.

 

I'm sure he Googled the number. I Googled it and found all of the information he had available to him.

 

The texts actually progressed to him identifying my employer. He started out addressing me by name (which was never provided to him). I asked who he was because I didn't recognize the number, and he re-texted the picture he provided when I first contacted him. He wanted to know if I was available to get together and offered a $100 "special" just for me. I told him I wasn't available because I was at work. He said he could pick me up at XYZ Company and we could go back to his place for a while because his girl was out for the day and he had the place to himself. Once he mentioned my company, I freaked and stopped responding. He texted back a few more times wanting to know what times would work for me. I've blocked his number and his email address and hopes that he gets the clue. I just don't need him showing up or phoning and causing any kind of scene.

[rvwnsd]

Oh, wow...that IS creepy. I doubt he would just show up, and if he does you call the police and call it a day. Anyone can get anyone else's cell phone number. If your receptionist wrote it down on a piece of paper and lost it, someone could pick it up and do the same thing he did. I guess what I am trying to say is: how he got your number is irrelevant should he show up and cause a scene. If some thug showed up at most offices and was looking for an employee, the police would likely be called and that would be that.