Talking about the client's look...

[BabyBoomer]

 

I find so much of what you wrote offensive and dehumanizing. Which is fine, considering I have no intention of meeting you again.

 

Did the two of you ever meet?

 

~Boomer ~

[HobbesianAcademic]

First I'll note you attacked a spelling error, and didn't answer two easy questions. I'm forced to conclude you do lock your doors and count the cash first.

 

Any self- described Hobbesian has no doubt constantly experienced intelligent people dissect his archaic beliefs as antiquated and reductive. Your response to me sounds like fresh outrage as if you have never heard arguments against it. Respectfully, I have no interest in the subject matter.

 

Why yes I have had far more interesting challenges to the underlying framework; this is as they say what I do for a living. And no what I wrote was not "outrage" it was perfectly mainstream discourse in philosophy. If you have no interest in the material, fair enough. But why discuss the material at all? My response was prompted by your response. If you didn't want to have the discussion don't bother responding. I'm content to let the underlying philosophical disagreements rest.

 

You are entitled to have as many boundaries as you want to have.

Thank you. Now perhaps you can offer some practical advice. If you care too!

 

I find so much of what you wrote offensive and dehumanizing. Which is fine, considering I have no intention of meeting you again.

Again, fair enough. I have no interest in meeting you either. And I find it unbelievable offensive and dehumanizing that people refuse to recognize what we actually are...even in a context when the intuitions are the most pressing.

 

There are tons of escorts who lack social skills.

Speaking as one?

 

You might find them delightful!

Actually no. Nothing I have said can be construed to mean I want the escorts I hire to lack social skills. I've gone out of my way to make sure people understood that.

 

Best of luck in your future hires!

May you keep your clients' custom for...well you know the line from Sweeney Todd.

[HobbesianAcademic]

Did the two of you ever meet?

 

~Boomer ~

No, I haven't hired Juan...

[jjkrkwood]

Mr Hobbes, engaging in a verbal spar with a well liked and respected escort here will not gain you any brownie points, although I don't think you are too concerned about that. You have been given some good advice here, I believe your original question has been answered two-fold, and therefore there really isn't anything more to say on this topic. Why beat a dead-topic ? I promise NOT to call you pretty should we ever meet.

[HobbesianAcademic]

Mr Hobbes, engaging in a verbal spar with a well liked and respected escort here will not gain you any brownie points, although I don't think you are too concerned about that. You have been given some good advice here, I believe your original question has been answered two-fold, and therefore there really isn't anything more to say on this topic. Why beat a dead-topic ? I promise NOT to call you pretty should we ever meet.

 

 

I've said my bit. I'm content to let sleeping dogs rest. And you are right, I don't care that Juan (or whomever) is well liked/respected here; I'm going to say my bit when someone responds to me. I respond in kind, always.

[Juan Vancouver]

No, I haven't hired Juan...

 

I am a rational man and know that knowledge only comes by when one accepts that one might be wrong about something. After all we live in a wondrous world filled with the most outrageous coincidences that might be so far fetched nobody would believe them if someone wrote them as fictions. For example, the earth, sun and moon are distanced from one another in perfect formation so that we are able to witness perfect solar and lunar eclipses. In time, the moon will be closer to the earth and the sun will grow and engulf the earth, but at this very time, almost by miracle, we are able to look up and wonder. Far fetched, but an astounding reality.

 

It is plausible that I may have not met you before.

 

It is possible that the staunch self-professed Hobbesian man who makes himself pass for a professor and who has been plaguing me for the last month, adopting numerous new identities every time I have unequivocally asked him to stop contacting me, is a different person than you. It is conceivable that you came to the message centre posting something that coincidentally is a perfect continuation of the diatribe this man has been hurling at me, especially a few days after having been served a cease and desist. It is within the realm of possibility that there are two entirely different and autonomous men equally given to exhaustingly long, dydactic seemingly anti-social rants using Philosophy as a bias confirmation tool to "prove" his beliefs and personal preferences. It could be true you are not the same man who in the same tone, with incredibly similar writing style has been trying to manipulate me, weave me into his crazy games, threatened me and tried to make me marry him.

 

If it is indeed true that you are not the same man who has been trying to make my life hell for the last few weeks, then I owe you an apology. Nobody should ever start a discussion with accusations and so clearly preconceived judgments as I had of you. My opinions may be the same, but I would have definitely defended them without the mordant ardour and contempt I used with you.

 

If you are not this man, I am truly sorry.

 

Don't want to defend myself, but if you knew what this man has been doing and how uncannily similar he is to the little I have seen of you, I trust you would forgive me and you would easily understand how I made that mistake.

 

I did offer practice advise. You can simply take compliments as the deceptive tool you think they are, thank your escort and move on. You could also practice to return the compliment, if only to fulfill an empty social contract. Lastly, you could make a detailed list of acceptable and unacceptable behaviours and let your escort know before booking that he will not be paid if he doesn't behave satisfactorily.

 

If, on the other hand, you are that man. I am only sorry that I -again- bit the bait and engaged. I am sure you understand that not making contact with me includes cyber-forums. If you are that man, I sincerely hope you will seek professional help.

 

Either way I am sorry.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Wow. America does not have a monopoly of the crazies.

[down_to_business]

...tried to make me marry him....

 

http://www.duetsblog.com/uploads/image/AuntLindaEyeRolling.jpg

 

Just don't compliment the bride/groom on his or her looks!

[+ Truereview]

http://media3.giphy.com/media/N9QbkLJWeL7wY/giphy.gif!!!!!!!

 

,

[+ José Soplanucas]

Now, let me celebrate and welcome what indeed seems to be an upgrade on forum drama. After the poorly written rambling some for now gone characters used to torture us with, the philosophical pretending and the beautifully written new quarrel is an absolute pleasure. And right now I'm wondering about the quality of this very message.

[tyro]

Now, let me celebrate and welcome what indeed seems to be an upgrade on forum drama. After the poorly written rambling some for now gone characters used to torture us with, the philosophical pretending and the beautifully written new quarrel is an absolute pleasure. And right now I'm wondering about the quality of this very message.

I KNEW you wuz a word nerd. Muah!

T

[+ Lance_Navarro]

All this hoopla over a person getting a compliment ? I don't get it ! Any well mannered person would simply say THANK YOU when complimented... If compliments about your physical beauty are so bothersome,

then find ways to make yourself unattractive so you don't have the problem... The time will come when you will be begging for someone to pay you a compliment because the person you saw in the mirror 25 years ago no longer exists.... IMO a compliment doesn't warrant a 3 page thread.

 

I couldn't agree with you more!!! How very dare that escort pay him a compliment, HOW UNPROFESSIONAL. In the mean time, I posted the other day about it being International Sex-Workers Rights Day, hoping to get a conversation started about how we can make a difference and I did not get a single comment. Advocacy seems dead, yet drama and whining seems quite alive and well. It saddens me.

 

*** ok, I need to correct what I said, there were 9 comments made, though only a few were taking it serious. Chatting anonymously on here is not advancing sex-workers rights, and although hiring certainly improves the lives of escorts, it's still not changing laws or minds.

[jjkrkwood]

I couldn't agree with you more!!! How very dare that escort pay him a compliment, HOW UNPROFESSIONAL. In the mean time, I posted the other day about it being International Sex-Workers Rights Day, hoping to get a conversation started about how we can make a difference and I did not get a single comment. Advocacy seems dead, yet drama and whining seems quite alive and well. It saddens me.

 

*** ok, I need to correct what I said, there were 9 comments made, though only a few were taking it serious. Chatting anonymously on here is not advancing sex-workers rights, and although hiring certainly improves the lives of escorts, it's still not changing laws or minds.

 

 

Mr Navarro Sir, I suppose the members are just more into PSYCHO-DRAMA, than civil, rational conversation about more relevant topics or issues... (emphasis on PSYCHO)

 

http://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_640x430/public/psycho_primary.jpg

[+ Truereview]

I think this thread has gone...

 

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/time-cuckoo-clocks/0001.gif

[klifhangar]

Forgive me if this is too much of an opinion early on but I got the impression that the OP maybe just wanted the general population here to know that he's young and reasonably attractive. That said, if it were me, I'd just take the compliment. So y'all are welcome to tell me that I'm hawt anytime

[Juan Vancouver]

Now, let me celebrate and welcome what indeed seems to be an upgrade on forum drama. After the poorly written rambling some for now gone characters used to torture us with, the philosophical pretending and the beautifully written new quarrel is an absolute pleasure. And right now I'm wondering about the quality of this very message.

 

You get a C+

 

Give us complex sentences, preferably with semi-colons. Make ambiguous references to archaic and rarely studied texts and only use the title, not the author; if you want to really go for it, mention only the chapter name. Give us similes and metaphors and you will get extra points if you can write in the style of either a German philosopher or a British Victorian novelist (Austen, sadly, won't do; how many have tried and failed!). You could round it all up with a latin quote, untranslated. But what will definitely win the day for you (and will edify us to no end) is if you categorically state that because of your indefatigable studies in ______ you know for sure what's what and all the ways in which we are all wrong.

 

I know you have it in you, Latbear! School us!

[tyro]

A man who uses indefatigable in a forum post. (T swoons, then picks herself off the floor to type this message.) Sigh.

T

[+ purplekow]

Did O Henry write this? I was reading the posts which were written after my post which I thought was the definitive response. Many erudite and well written responses. Did I get on the wrong forum or is the quality of the posts here suddenly much better? Then, O Henry style, the twist....this is not just a well written cyberwar, this is an extension of a real life bit of drama. I immediately got up to lock my door. I usually leave my doors unlocked, thinking that if someone wanted to get it, they would probably get in (of course I do have the four large barking dogs) but I suddenly had visions of an academic chasing after me in a cap and gown with a bloody diploma in one hand and Occam's razor in the other. No simple solution to this dilemma except to lock the door.

[Juan Vancouver]

Did O Henry write this? I was reading the posts which were written after my post which I thought was the definitive response. Many erudite and well written responses. Did I get on the wrong forum or is the quality of the posts here suddenly much better? Then, O Henry style, the twist....this is not just a well written cyberwar, this is an extension of a real life bit of drama. I immediately got up to lock my door. I usually leave my doors unlocked, thinking that if someone wanted to get it, they would probably get in (of course I do have the four large barking dogs) but I suddenly had visions of an academic chasing after me in a cap and gown with a bloody diploma in one hand and Occam's razor in the other. No simple solution to this dilemma except to lock the door.

 

A DEVILISHLY HANDSOME academic chasing you in a cap and gown, with a bloody diploma in one hand, Occam's razor in the other and an engagement ring in his back pocket.

 

Dude, lock the bloody door.

[mike carey]

Dude, lock the bloody door.

Too much humour in this thread! Bah humbug!

PS. Yes, lock the bloody door!

[tyro]

Did O Henry write this? I was reading the posts which were written after my post which I thought was the definitive response. Many erudite and well written responses. Did I get on the wrong forum or is the quality of the posts here suddenly much better? Then, O Henry style, the twist....this is not just a well written cyberwar, this is an extension of a real life bit of drama. I immediately got up to lock my door. I usually leave my doors unlocked, thinking that if someone wanted to get it, they would probably get in (of course I do have the four large barking dogs) but I suddenly had visions of an academic chasing after me in a cap and gown with a bloody diploma in one hand and Occam's razor in the other. No simple solution to this dilemma except to lock the door.

I hope you checked the windows, fool.

T

[mike carey]

I hope you checked the windows, fool.

T

So you're a salty broad now, not sure that's better than your past identity as a pedant or pendant, but I respect the fact that you have a unique personal identity here!

[tyro]

Yep. Deej worked his magic -- again.

T

[mike carey]

As long as you are happy with it T.

[greatnorthernp]

I have a couple of questions about this. Some of it might just be my own junk but I have to ask how to handle it in the future. Pretty much every single guy I have hired as been a little bit suprised about my looks/age. I'm kind of young (32) and they all say I'm attractive-ish. Now for deeply philosophical reasons I don't believe them; not that I think they are lying per se but even if they are telling the truth it's completely incidental for why they are saying it, from an purely instrumentally rational view point. As such this whole thing drives me nuts because I really really don't want to think about this in a session. So anyway,

 

1) How do I explain why I don't escort EVER saying anything about my looks? without seeming rude?

 

2) How do I explain why I can't trust answers on this front from a person I am hiring without coming across as a psychopath?

 

Without knowing you, based on what you've written, let me offer an opinion: you probably have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. (BDD)

 

Let me also offer you a little story of my own.

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/probabalistic-statistics.104748/#post-964977

 

BDD is subtle, slippery, all-pervasive and incredibly difficult to treat, perhaps because there is almost certainly a genetic component to it. I still have it, although age has somewhat blunted/altered its effects. I can now look in the mirror and actually see the handsome daddy others comment on. However, the BDD has--liked a greased pig--merely slipped away from the visual realm of physical attractiveness, only to manifest elsewhere...the aural sphere. How so? A couple of years ago I took up vocal training--the full bel canto. (The reason for doing so also involves BDD.) Objectively, I've got a 2 octave tenor tessitura, and I'm still adding at the top. (I cover 3 octaves when doing scales, E2 to E5.) My transitions across the passaggio are reportedly enviable...my voice teacher says, "I've got students who would kill for that smoothness.". During masterclasses I've had professional tenors who sing for major opera companies exclaim, "OMG you've got a beautiful voice!" Guess what? I absolutely hate the sound of my voice. Well, surprise, surprise. I hate it so much that even accidentally hearing a recording of it is enough to stop me from singing for a couple of weeks until the shivering horror fades. I know now that it's just another manifestation of my BDD, so I continue on with the training and have learned to (mechanically) give a graceful response to the compliments, "Thank you very much", smile, and delicately move on to safer topics. Sadly (?), I will never make money off my so-called "beautiful voice", and it will never be heard by anyone other than my fellow students, or their families and friends during studio recitals because anything professional would involve having to listen to my voice. You might ask why I bother? Because the brute physical sensation of full volume trained singing is really quite awesome, a total endorphin rush (I am so high after an hour of singing, it's wild.), and it's great fun to be given the permission to be loud as you want. It was the same when I was working out--the physical sensation of the pump was amazing...despite having to avoid looking at mirrors at all costs.

 

BDD. Talk to your doctor. Say it out loud. (Incredibly hard to do.) Keep going.

 

Of course I could be wrong, but I bet I'm not. It's almost eerie seeing myself reflected so accurately in your posts.

 

Oh...if the internal denial machine has already kicked in ("But..., but..., but..."), BINGO!!! Talk to a trained professional who deals with BDD.