Am I Being an Unreasonable Customer

[rocky]

So fortunately I've been successful in finding some gentlemen in my area who enjoy visiting

and having fun. But here's my angst. So I contact in advance and say how's your weekend

schedule. One response, I'm free all weekend, so I say how's Friday around 7pm, response, "oh,

Sunday would be better." Well I didn't ask for Sunday. Second gentlemen, I say same thing, how's

your weekend schedule, "free all weekend." So let's get together at such and such a time, response, hmm,

how's Monday?" I don't want to be demanding but I have a job that keeps me hopping, other

activities and my schedule isn't that flexible. Any thoughts on this? Thanks

[+ WmClarke]

If you have a specific time that's best for meeting, ask for that specific time.

 

When you ask a generic "what's open this weekend?" you are rhetorically signaling that you are flexible on times and that you can accommodate their schedule.

[mike carey]

Your approach is fine, courteous, the initial responses seem a bit disingenuous. If you know when on the weekend you want to meet, don't beat around the bush with the 'are you free on the weekend' just ask him for the time you want.

[bigvalboy]

Roll with the punches...

 

If Sunday or Monday was fine for you, then book the appointment and move on. Do you really want to go into an appointment thinking in the back of your head that the escort was being unreasonable, or trying to figure out every little thing the escort might be thinking.

 

Anyway, that's how I would have handled it in my head. I don't see this as a big deal.

[+ Truereview]

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but I agree with WmC & BVB. I always tell the guy my ideal time first: I'm looking for x time, y day, can you make it? If he says no, I give him a couple more options that work for me. If he can't and I'm really into the guy, we begin a longer term scheduling process. Sometimes I just politely tell the guy I will loop back some other time. This is not about control, but about my (unfortunate) lack of spare time. I bet you it is the same thing for them.

[mattr]

I think you have given the impression that your weekend is flexible and therefore, as a good business man, he is trying to see you at a time that where he is unlikely to get other requests. If you have a specific date/time in mind, I suggest you ask him about that time. I am somewhat uncomfortable saying "Hi, are you available on Saturday at 8 for 2 hours?" as the opening salvo whereas "how does your weekend look?" seems like a nice ice breaker. Perhaps you have the same issue and if so, we both need to get over it.

[mike carey]

My most recent hire was for an overnight so that was simpler. We discussed a couple of dates and picked one. It helps if the escort is engaged and willing to work through the issue!

[+ Truereview]

I am somewhat uncomfortable saying "Hi, are you available on Saturday at 8 for 2 hours?" as the opening salvo whereas "how does your weekend look?" seems like a nice ice breaker. Perhaps you have the same issue and if so, we both need to get over it.

Great point! I'm not sure what is the right or perfect intro, not even sure there is one. I don't lead with schedule though. If email, I typically say: hi, my name is X and I liked your ad on abc site. If text, I always confirm first: good (morning/eve), is this so & so. Some healthy banter ensues - keep it short - and then I quickly move to schedule. It has worked for me, but I'm always open to better ways.

[LADoug1]

I always start with a compliment and where I saw the escort's information. I then give him a window that fits my schedule. I try to do this as much in advance as possible to maximize the window. I then let the escort respond. Either he can fit into the window or not. I can then decide to "negotiate" the time or just more on.

 

Your frustration is not unreasonable. First he said yes. Then he suggested otherwise. You can either push for the weekend or just move on. I'd suggest the latter. I think he has some kind of agenda.

[Kuriousity]

If you want a specific time slot, then ask for the specific time slot. Do not be vague. If you go vague, then the escort will go vague. State exactly what you want upfront. If they cannot accommodate, then say thank you and go on to the next name on your list. If an escort wants the business , then they will agree to your slot. If not, then they won't.

[Kuriousity]

Escorting is not like shopping in Itaewon. You do not haggle. State the position, and if it works, great. Otherwise, move on.

[Nvr2Thick]

So fortunately I've been successful in finding some gentlemen in my area who enjoy visiting

and having fun. But here's my angst. So I contact in advance and say how's your weekend

schedule. One response, I'm free all weekend, so I say how's Friday around 7pm, response, "oh,

Sunday would be better." Well I didn't ask for Sunday. Second gentlemen, I say same thing, how's

your weekend schedule, "free all weekend." So let's get together at such and such a time, response, hmm,

how's Monday?" I don't want to be demanding but I have a job that keeps me hopping, other

activities and my schedule isn't that flexible. Any thoughts on this? Thanks

 

I find most of the replies on this thread to be odd. "How's your weekend schedule?" in no way suggests that you're flexible. It may be a throwaway question, but it's because both escorts were either trying to respond in the affirmative without being truthful, or they didn't take you seriously. If I asked an escort "how does Thursday look?" and he said "Thursday's good all day" I'd write him off as an game-player if I asked for a two hour appointment noon or later and he came back with Friday. If I ask a guy if he's going to be around all weekend and he's not available or he really doesn't want to book anything for Saturday night he shouldn't respond with "free all weekend".

 

No, you're not an unreasonable customer; you've run across two escorts who are used to customers accommodating them.

[Kevin Slater]

I agree with the other replies. Additionally, do you really expect the escort to reply to "how's your weekend schedule?" by divulging his list of upcoming bookings (and other commitments)? Specific questions will get specific answers.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ nycman]

I like being straightforward and simple. I'm not hiring to play footies. I'm hiring to get off.

 

My opening text is always....are you available this XXX-day at XX pm for a one hour outcall to XXX hotel?

 

Smart businessmen who aren't available at my exact time will inquire if I'm open to meeting at other times.

 

Bad businessmen will respond..."no".

[Guest countryboywny]

Do you really expect the escort to reply to "how's your weekend schedule?" by divulging his list of upcoming bookings (and other commitments)? Specific questions will get specific answers.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I don't think the OP expected to get a detailed schedule of the escort's booking arrangements... and yes, specific questions do get specific answers. The OP did suggest a time (7pm-Friday) to which the response was that Sunday would be better.

 

 

I think you have given the impression that your weekend is flexible and therefore, as a good business man, he is trying to see you at a time that where he is unlikely to get other requests. If you have a specific date/time in mind, I suggest you ask him about that time. I am somewhat uncomfortable saying "Hi, are you available on Saturday at 8 for 2 hours?" as the opening salvo whereas "how does your weekend look?" seems like a nice ice breaker. Perhaps you have the same issue and if so, we both need to get over it.

 

I think it is a nicer, more polite way to open a discussion.

[Nvr2Thick]

I agree with the other replies. Additionally, do you really expect the escort to reply to "how's your weekend schedule?" by divulging his list of upcoming bookings (and other commitments)?

 

Of course not. That would be silly.

 

A response of "I have some availability, what do you have in mind?" would be reasonable. A response of "You'll need to be more specific, but I'll be around" would have been reasonable. In the case of the OP's first scenario one could imagine a response of "I'll be around, but Saturday night is definitely out" might be plausible.

 

We're willing to allow the escort to make a broad assumption that the OP is flexible, and therefore its OK to lead with a less than truthful answer. In the second scenario, however, it appears to be reasonable for an escort to propose Monday when the OP specifically mentioned the weekend.

[down_to_business]

Per dictionary dot com

 

weekend defined

 

noun

1.

the end of a week, especially the period of time between Friday evening and Monday morning:

We spent the weekend at Virginia Beach.

2.

this period as extended by one or more holidays, days off, or the like, that immediately precede or follow:

We're getting a three-day weekend at Christmas.

3.

any two-day period taken or given regularly as a weekly rest period from one's work:

I have to work at the hospital on Saturdays and Sundays, so I take my weekends on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

[Kevin Slater]

Of course not. That would be silly.

 

A response of "I have some availability, what do you have in mind?" would be reasonable.

 

In which case why don't we skip that first volley and proceed directly to step two.

 

Kevin Slater

[Juan Vancouver]

Apparently repetition is one of the best ways to get things across. So here's my bit.

 

Never ask for an escort's general schedule. I often get asked: "How's your schedule in the next two weeks?" And of course, the only real answer to that would be: "respectfully, that is none of your business; when would you like to meet and for how long?"

 

You don't want to know my schedule for two weeks, all you really want to know is if I have time to see you when it is convenient to you. Then, ask that.

 

If you don't want your escort to waste your time, help him by making specific questions that don't demand twenty back and forths.

 

"Are you available on tuesday night for a couple hours?"

 

Similar vague email openers to avoid at all costs:

 

"Hi"

 

"wow, you are hot!"

 

"I have been wanting to meet you for years, you are totally my type".

 

Etc.

 

Specific questions will yield specific answers. Save the hot talk for when you are face to face. It's the respectful thing for his time, it's the efficient thing for yours.

[keithhardy]

I think asking how does your weekend look is very vague and covers a large period of time. For example I may answer that with I am "pretty open" even if I had other things planned at certain times. It can't be expected for anyone to provide an exact schedule when asked the above question. If I had something to do on Friday at 7pm, noon on Saturday and 10am Sunday for example I wouldn't respond with "I am available anytime but between this and this on Friday.....etc. Asking about what ones weekend looks like is saying you don't have a specific time and are flexible, so you have to expect the response you mentioned above. If you said to me " are you available at 7pm of Friday, my response would be "no I am sorry I am not, does another time work for you". Its so much easier for everyone involved to just get straight to the point and say I am looking for this day at this time.....and go from there.

[rocky]

I agree with the other replies. Additionally, do you really expect the escort to reply to "how's your weekend schedule?" by divulging his list of upcoming bookings (and other commitments)? Specific questions will get specific answers.

 

Kevin Slater

Kevin, I have a lot of respect for you but on this one, don't agree. I'm not asking for who they are doing with who when, etc; my ask was, hey what's your weekend look like. I don't expect to get back from a response of " I'm open" to well how's Friday ,etc to be told, oops, maybe Monday. Come on, give me some respect

[Juan Vancouver]

Kevin, I have a lot of respect for you but on this one, don't agree. I'm not asking for who they are doing with who when, etc; my ask was, hey what's your weekend look like. I don't expect to get back from a response of " I'm open" to well how's Friday ,etc to be told, oops, maybe Monday. Come on, give me some respect

 

Rocky,

 

You are sounding a bit like those who post questions and only allow a specific answer to them and whenever anyone answers differently they aggressively attack.

 

In this case, it is almost consensus that your question was too vague, whether or not the escorts' response was professional.

 

So, yes, maybe... a little. Now you are being unreasonable. (You are not listening to reasoning.)

 

Most of the people here seem to agree that you would be better off asking for specific times and perhaps giving a couple options ON THE FIRST EMAIL. If your schedule is not flexible, don't give the impression it is.

 

At this point it is not about agreeing or disagreeing. At this point it is about realizing that a lot of people are recommending something and maybe it is time to at least consider that they might be right.

 

Either way, I wish you much success in your future scheduling ventures.

[+ quoththeraven]

Kevin, I have a lot of respect for you but on this one, don't agree. I'm not asking for who they are doing with who when, etc; my ask was, hey what's your weekend look like. I don't expect to get back from a response of " I'm open" to well how's Friday ,etc to be told, oops, maybe Monday. Come on, give me some respect

 

You only control what you say. Whether his response is nonsense or not, a lot of people who have reason to know are suggesting it is more efficient and respectful of his time and yours to start out with your preferred date and time, then go from there, rather than asking an open-ended question that requires more effort on his part to answer without really knowing what, ideally, you would want. It's not just Kevin.

[+ Eric Hassan]

As an escort, I want to book appointments with minimal back and forth, so specific details are very helpful. An introduction such as "When are you free?" gives me nothing to work with. I appreciate introductions such as "Hi, I'm Bob and I liked your ad on RM. Are you free tomorrow at noon for 2 hours at my place?" This helps me quickly determine if I can make the appointment and be able to offer alternatives if I can't. When someone asks something like "What's your weekend availability?" I don't know what they really want, and I may not want to share that I have other appointments, social plans, laundry, etc - and frequently, I can change my plans easily enough to schedule an appointment that works for the client. In my view, the customer is in charge here - it's his money and he wants my time - so tell me what you want and I'll always do my best to make it work. If I don't get specifics like that, I have a hard time taking the client seriously.

[jjkrkwood]

Well perhaps you could have asked if the escort "had some time to visit the container Store with you" OR if he "would like to come over & share some turkey chili" ???