Claiming to be bi.

[jojo]

It is my observation that the majority of guys on rentmen claim to be bi. Has anyone notices a difference in the quality of service between guys identifying as bi vs. guys identifying as gay?

[TruthBTold]

I guess the only quality I've noticed is that they are probably gay.

[+ José Soplanucas]

No difference. I do not really pay attention to those labels. I lost the count of how many times I've drilled a self proclaimed top. And they liked it.

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't even know what "probably gay" means. Bisexuals range from those who are more attracted to members of the same sex (Kinsey 5) to those who are more attracted to members of the opposite sex (Kinsey 1). They're all still bisexuals.

 

If "probably gay" means willing to engage in sex with a member if the same sex, then yes. But by definition bisexuals are also "probably straight." Can we please stop thinking the answer to every question - especially about sexuality - has to be binary?

[TruthBTold]

Umm - there happens to be a wink or sign that at least I am not taking myself seriously so I give you permission not to on my post. Second, where men have claimed to be bi-nary they aren't. They stick with men. They say that because it increases the cash flow for some reason, psychological or other.

[buckguy]

There are so many variations on being bi, that by itself, the descriptor doesn't mean much. It's like "ask me" for other categories. If you don't like it go for someone who has the descriptor you want. In the end, it's like the safe sex argument---you have no way of knowing what someone does in their personal life and if you really think about it, you might not like it, regardless of what's in the ad.

[biggerbilly]

I don't mind bi, as been mentioned it can cover a wide territory. Now all those straight profiles...

[+ José Soplanucas]

Umm - there happens to be a wink or sign that at least I am not taking myself seriously so I give you permission not to on my post. Second, where men have claimed to be bi-nary they aren't. They stick with men. They say that because it increases the cash flow for some reason, psychological or other.

 

I don't think we can make categoric statements here. We have no statistics, just anecdotal information. I would not dare to say that everyone who self label as bi is lying in the first place, and I would not say everyone who lies does it because of market considerations. As I said before, my advice is just ignore those labels. If you find somebody attractive, just contact him and start the conversation. We are a very diverse species, raw generalizations are most times not a good tool to make good sense of our surroundings.

[BaronArtz]

I don't pay attention to labels either. But from an escort's perspective, it makes it easier to say 'no' to certain activities if indeed you proclaim to be straight or bi. Less insulting to the client. An escort can say 'I don't kiss because I am straight' which is less insulting than saying 'I don't kiss you because I am not into you'. A safety mechanism, in other words. Understandable.

[Edward]

Bi classification means nothing. Some of the guys listed as bi are totally straight but will engage in sex with men. Others that list themselves as bi are total gay; they may have had sex with a woman once or twice in there life. Best to ask them the last time they had recreational sex was it with a man or a woman? There are a few, but in my opinion very few that are totally bi, in that they have sex equally with men and women.

[Bob]

I want to know if "versatile" really means "bottom."

[Edward]

Versatile means that they will either top or bottom. That is by definition. I would still ask specifically what you want. Either to top or to bottom. Or to be a switch hitter.

[+ Billsboy4]

In Brazil, many men are bi. They don't have any hang ups about who they sleep with. When visiting there I've been with many men who are married to woman and I can't tell the difference. Brazil may be the exception and not the rule, but it's nice to be in a country without labels.

[outofpractice]

In Brazil, many men are bi. They don't have any hang ups about who they sleep with. When visiting there I've been with many men who are married to woman and I can't tell the difference. Brazil may be the exception and not the rule, but it's nice to be in a country without labels.

 

I thought that the men in Brazil would freely engage in sex with men as long as they were tops? Part of the machismo of their culture looks down on men who are on the receiving end of a dick. Is that not actually the case?

[+ purplekow]

I do not claim to be bi....I am bi. I also have a bi cycle. Sometimes men do it for me more than women and sometimes the other way around. I am in a man for man cycle now, but I notice my concentration drifting a bit lately. So don't be bi-assed about assuming bis are gay. That kind of thinking is antiquated and unenlightened.

[+ quoththeraven]

Bi classification means nothing. Some of the guys listed as bi are totally straight but will engage in sex with men. Others that list themselves as bi are total gay; they may have had sex with a woman once or twice in there life. Best to ask them the last time they had recreational sex was it with a man or a woman? There are a few, but in my opinion very few that are totally bi, in that they have sex equally with men and women.

 

That is a misunderstanding of the word bisexual. It does not mandate equal attraction to both sexes (and for those who believe bisexual means attracted irrespective of gender, to trans, genderqueer and agender folks too). I am bisexual but didn't know it until I saw girl-on-girl porn (meaning I'm a Kinsey 1), and I've only ever had sex with men. Like Justin in Queer as Folk, I like dick! That doesn't mean I don't also like pussy. I've gotten off to women having fun with each other too many times.

 

I know not every escort who lists himself as bi is lying. FFS, some of them see female clients. Off the top of my head, I can think of four who list themselves as bisexual and see female clients. I know two personally. Moreover, I don't understand why it would be advantageous to say one is bisexual strictly for marketing purposes if it otherwise has no meaning. There are plenty of guys who prefer escorts who identify as gay over those who identify as bi.

 

These Twitter threads from yesterday may be relevant here.

 

Here are the most relevant tweets strung together in paragraph form:

 

I get the impression that some people don’t understand what the word bisexual means. It doesn’t mean you have to have sex with both genders at once. Or even ever. It really doesn’t, I promise.

 

Also possible to be a virgin and be bisexual, JUST LIKE you can be a virgin and be straight! ....some people don’t or won’t understand the difference between identity and activity.

 

This reminds me of the time a (male) co-worker leeringly told me that I couldn’t know if I would like sex with a woman until I tried it.... I’ve always known that I could be fine with either gender, and I didn’t need sex to tell me that.

The woman who wrote the quoted tweets tweets is a former Supreme Court law clerk and law school professor who writes and self-publishes best-selling romance novels with straight, gay and trans characters and is working on a manuscript (mentioned in one of the threads) with a bisexual character.

 

That she has now admitted on Twitter to being bisexual (she's married to a dude) is no big deal. As you can see, there are plenty of other women in the same boat. I can think of three bisexual women I know from LiveJournal who are married to men. The husband of one of them is also bisexual. In any case, I would never think to question their identification as bisexual.

Representative responses to the last set of tweets:

I know so many queer folks who get identity-audited like that. invasive and icky.

 

What infuriates me is that people saying "you're not really bi until X" has given me freakin' bi impostor syndrome, [l]ike even having HAD SEX with both women and men is not enough to make me SUFFICIENTLY BI to silence the "but what if".

/gets off soapbox

[Edward]

I would still ask specifically to a potential escort what activities they are willing to do with clients.

[caliguy]

If they're top/versatile they're most likely listing straight/bi. If they're bottom/versatile they're most likely listing gay. This is just marketing 101 stuff. Has zero to do with reality. If Rentmen is reality then I guess gay men are all just big ol bottoms out looking for a bi/straight hard top.

[+ ArVaGuy]

I'm not so sure about the bisexuality dynamics regarding escort ads. As for myself I'd say I'm a BUYSEXUAL.

 

 

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c262/cpapa8162/image_zpservt6dlx.jpeg

[caliguy]

I'm not so sure about the bisexuality dynamics regarding escort ads. As for myself I'd say I'm a BUYSEXUAL.

 

 

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c262/cpapa8162/image_zpservt6dlx.jpeg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az83wgx3dwg

[+ Gar1eth]

No difference. I do not really pay attention to those labels. I lost the count of how many times I've drilled a self proclaimed top. And they liked it.

 

That's interesting. Since I've asked a few tops ahead of time about bottoming. They said no. So I didn't hire them. My thought was this hobby was too expensive not to get what I wanted. Of course for various reasons I wasn't always able to top. But I wanted to know beforehand as much as I was able that the option was going to be there.

 

Gman

[rvwnsd]

It is my observation that the majority of guys on rentmen claim to be bi. Has anyone notices a difference in the quality of service between guys identifying as bi vs. guys identifying as gay?

The way they self-identify makes no difference to me. If I find a guy attractive and, based on our conversation and the wording supplied in his ad, he and I seem to be a match I will hire him. Likewise, I have noticed no difference in quality between guys who self-identify as being straight, gay, or bi.

[big-n-tall]

The way they self-identify makes no difference to me. If I find a guy attractive and, based on our conversation and the wording supplied in his ad, he and I seem to be a match I will hire him. Likewise, I have noticed no difference in quality between guys who self-identify as being straight, gay, or bi.

 

I'm in 100% + 2 with you on that. I think too many people get hung up on labels and miss out on meeting quality people. If you find someone attractive and they seem like they would be into great sex... GO FOR IT!!!!

[Brian Kevin]

This reminds me of the time a (male) co-worker leeringly told me that I couldn’t know if I would like sex with a woman until I tried it.... I’ve always known that I could be fine with either gender, and I didn’t need sex to tell me that.

 

That good ole water cooler chit chat. He's lucky your didn't go Diva on him and give him 5 fingers to the cheek! You're a good person for interpretating what he was saying as not disrespectful! This is why I love ya! XO!

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm not into most straight guys-well I could be 'in' to them. But in general I wouldn't hire one on purpose. I actually did hire a straight escort for a weekend once. It wasn't on purpose. He didn't advertise as straight. I probably wouldn't have been quite as upset if he had been 'into' kissing. But he wasn't. It wasn't a great weekend.

 

Of course I have accidentally hired gay escorts who weren't 'into' kissing either. Those weren't my favorite times either.

 

My issue about hiring straight escorts is partially explained by the way I feel about 'straight' sex. I'm not sure I could force myself to have it. With me feeling this way, how could I want to make a straight guy go through with having sex with a gender he doesn't prefer. And while I know a gay escort might not be attracted to me, at least I know he's attracted to guys in general. So I only have one hurdle to get past with gay escort (my looks) as opposed to at least two with a straight escort (my looks and gender).

 

Gman