Dear Lord Jesus, please tell me I'm not the only one.

[Mocha]

I'm thinking to myself, here we go again. Once again, I'm just confused on the anatomy of horny men's brains.

 

The question: Cancellations. Mind changes. Not following thru. It's epidemic right now.

 

Excuses range from forgetting work stuff on their business trip, to colds, to being too busy at work and going home to bed after...to just clear no shows, not maintaining correspondence (adam4adam has become the epitome of that, that site is slowly dying in my opinion as far as escort/massage work goes), and just general prick, asshole shit. Then it in turn causes me to not be able to meet my obligations: like paying bills and keeping my travel city commitments. And I apologize to the universe and clients who were waiting to see me, that I've planned 3 working trips this year , and could only keep 1 because people's lies interfered with my personal plans (and not necessarily in the places I planned to go to). People lie to me, that makes me look like a liar because I can't go forward with my plans. 1 persons cancellation isn't going to make me go bankrupt, but over a long period of time, every week, that's a f-ing problem.

 

I'm just getting tired of it. I've already let a couple people know that I would just go ahead and add them to Blacklist sites for wasting my time. One guy, he rushed me about to meet him at a hotel by a certain time...when he wasn't even there himself. He got there 30 minutes after I said I could arrive, and still cancelled. I screened his phone number and it lead to his facebook page, which listed his photo, place of work and the fact that he's married. I told him personally, some escorts would have used that information and fucked him up...but I'm not that kind of guy. But that if he wants to re-book, even in another state, he needs to compensate me for my loss. No response. So on the list he shall go.

 

I'm at a point where I feel the lowest confidence ever in my career as an escort. It used to be getting nervous when opening the door to the other end. Now it's nervous because 7 times out of 10, an appointment made never happens. It's so hard to tell because people I've met before are doing it, new guys are doing it, and they all sound genuine and real over the phone. And it's really fucking me up. I can't plan anything financially, and I've already made plans to leave the business if things don't improve after this year.

 

I'm just like, what is this world coming to? Why are people doing this? I understand things come up, I've been the flake before (but rarely ever do I flake on a confirmed, bonafide appointment. EVER). But some of this stuff seems almost intentional. Like, they either are lying or just don't give a fuck. But, I just try to leave it up to "do unto others as THEY want to be treated, and what goes, comes". I've seen it time and again where friends or people I know have done me wrong...ran off to someone else, rubbed it in my face like a puppies face in his own shit, only for them to come crying back to tell me how so and so did them wrong and how I'm actually a good person with good intents.

 

I understand a cancellation or 2 here and there, but some guys really take the piss. And they don't seem to give a crap about doing it. I tell people sometimes, I'm a Pal's member. The store and the merchant. If the appointment can't be kept, and it was pre-planned, do the right thing.

[Guy Fawkes]

Consider that it takes two to tangle?

 

I'm thinking to myself, here we go again. Once again, I'm just confused on the anatomy of horny men's brains.

 

The question: Cancellations. Mind changes. Not following thru. It's epidemic right now.

 

Excuses range from forgetting work stuff on their business trip, to colds, to being too busy at work and going home to bed after...to just clear no shows, not maintaining correspondence (adam4adam has become the epitome of that, that site is slowly dying in my opinion as far as escort/massage work goes), and just general prick, asshole shit. Then it in turn causes me to not be able to meet my obligations: like paying bills and keeping my travel city commitments. And I apologize to the universe and clients who were waiting to see me, that I've planned 3 working trips this year , and could only keep 1 because people's lies interfered with my personal plans (and not necessarily in the places I planned to go to). People lie to me, that makes me look like a liar because I can't go forward with my plans.

 

I'm just getting tired of it. I've already let a couple people know that I would just go ahead and add them to Blacklist sites for wasting my time. One guy, he rushed me about to meet him at a hotel by a certain time...when he wasn't even there himself. He got there 30 minutes after I said I could arrive, and still cancelled. I screened his phone number and it lead to his facebook page, which listed his photo, place of work and the fact that he's married. I told him personally, some escorts would have used that information and fucked him up...but I'm not that kind of guy. But that if he wants to re-book, even in another state, he needs to compensate me for my loss. No response. So on the list he shall go.

 

I'm at a point where I feel the lowest confidence ever in my career as an escort. It used to be getting nervous when opening the door to the other end. Now it's nervous because 7 times out of 10, an appointment made never happens. It's so hard to tell because people I've met before are doing it, new guys are doing it, and they all sound genuine and real over the phone. And it's really fucking me up. I can't plan anything financially, and I've already made plans to leave the business if things don't improve after this year.

 

I'm just like, what is this world coming to? Why are people doing this? I understand things come up, I've been the flake before (but rarely ever do I flake on a confirmed, bonafide appointment. EVER). But some of this stuff seems almost intentional. Like, they either are lying or just don't give a fuck. But, I just try to leave it up to "do unto others as THEY want to be treated, and what goes, comes". I've seen it time and again where friends or people I know have done me wrong...ran off to someone else, only to tell me how so and so did them wrong and how I'm actually a good person with good intents.

 

I understand a cancellation or 2 here and there, but some guys really take the piss. And they don't seem to give a crap about doing it. It's all about how they feel. If they don't feel like it, screw me. Well, I'm going to screw them too, and not the way they want to. I don't care if I have to blacklist numbers every single day.

 

What would Ju do?

[Mocha]

Consider that it takes two to tangle?

 

As an aside, I'm wondering if a lot of this has to do with 2 things: married men (most of the examples i KNOW were married men), and work overburdened. It seems like out in the career world, people are busy, busy, busy at work. But, I can't be sitting around figuring out people's lives before they can't even walk thru the door.

 

I don't get the taking 2 to tangle thing. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. I had one guy today, call me to book for 7 pm. Said he had to see if he could get out of work early enough, and would call me. I said, SO YOU DONT KNOW FOR SURE, THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT TODAY, RIGHT? He said not yet, but he'd call me. I'm thinking, then why the FUCK are you making plans for 7 pm if you're not sure?

 

Sure enough, he didn't show...but since I sussed him out earlier, I wasn't too miffed.

[Guy Fawkes]

It seems to me that there are at least three way to dance with a man.

1. Stand beside the dance floor and flirt with the handsome young men until they ask you to dance.
   
2. Go get on the dance floor and hope that the handsome young men will come dance with you.
   
3. Walk up to the handsome young man and with your most dazzling smile ask them to dance.
   

Guess which one works the best?

 

As an aside, I'm wondering if a lot of this has to do with 2 things: married men (most of the examples i KNOW were married men), and work overburdened. It seems like out in the career world, people are busy, busy, busy at work. But, I can't be sitting around figuring out people's lives before they can't even walk thru the door.

 

I don't get the taking 2 to tangle thing. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. I had one guy today, call me to book for 7 pm. Said he had to see if he could get out of work early enough, and would call me. I said, SO YOU DONT KNOW FOR SURE, THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT TODAY, RIGHT? He said not yet, but he'd call me. I'm thinking, then why the FUCK are you making plans for 7 pm if you're not sure?

 

Sure enough, he didn't show...but since I sussed him out earlier, I wasn't too miffed.

[LADoug1]

I'm a Pal's member

 

What's a "Pal's member"?

[+ Lance_Navarro]

(adam4adam has become the epitome of that, that site is slowly dying in my opinion as far as escort/massage work goes)

 

I agree with you regarding A4A, I still keep my ad there cause it's cheap and I do ok with it in small cities, however I've changed my ad on there and asked all new clients to contact me directly through my website. I've found that guys who are flakes won't go through that extra step. If they try to message me through A4A, I ask them to following the instructions in my ad. I find that generally they don't want me to have their actual email address and phone # if they are just wasting my time

[Juan Vancouver]

Mocha,

 

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I can only imagine the frustration. I really hope things will get better for you soon, whether you decide to try other ventures or continue escorting.

Personally, whenever I face the same challenge again and again it becomes clear that it is me, something in me, not the world that needs to change. The world never changes.

 

Don't put yourself at greater financial and emotional risk. Do whatever you need to do in order to make sure you can cover your expenses.

 

Take care of yourself, man.

 

Big hug.

[tpl]

Mocha,

 

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I can only imagine the frustration. I really hope things will get better for you soon, whether you decide to try other ventures or continue escorting.

Personally, whenever I face the same challenge again and again it becomes clear that it is me, something in me, not the world that needs to change. The world never changes.

 

Don't put yourself at greater financial and emotional risk. Do whatever you need to do in order to make sure you can cover your expenses.

 

Take care of yourself, man.

 

Big hug.

I'm thinking to myself, here we go again. Once again, I'm just confused on the anatomy of horny men's brains.

 

The question: Cancellations. Mind changes. Not following thru. It's epidemic right now.

 

Excuses range from forgetting work stuff on their business trip, to colds, to being too busy at work and going home to bed after...to just clear no shows, not maintaining correspondence (adam4adam has become the epitome of that, that site is slowly dying in my opinion as far as escort/massage work goes), and just general prick, asshole shit. Then it in turn causes me to not be able to meet my obligations: like paying bills and keeping my travel city commitments. And I apologize to the universe and clients who were waiting to see me, that I've planned 3 working trips this year , and could only keep 1 because people's lies interfered with my personal plans (and not necessarily in the places I planned to go to). People lie to me, that makes me look like a liar because I can't go forward with my plans. 1 persons cancellation isn't going to make me go bankrupt, but over a long period of time, every week, that's a f-ing problem.

 

I'm just getting tired of it. I've already let a couple people know that I would just go ahead and add them to Blacklist sites for wasting my time. One guy, he rushed me about to meet him at a hotel by a certain time...when he wasn't even there himself. He got there 30 minutes after I said I could arrive, and still cancelled. I screened his phone number and it lead to his facebook page, which listed his photo, place of work and the fact that he's married. I told him personally, some escorts would have used that information and fucked him up...but I'm not that kind of guy. But that if he wants to re-book, even in another state, he needs to compensate me for my loss. No response. So on the list he shall go.

 

I'm at a point where I feel the lowest confidence ever in my career as an escort. It used to be getting nervous when opening the door to the other end. Now it's nervous because 7 times out of 10, an appointment made never happens. It's so hard to tell because people I've met before are doing it, new guys are doing it, and they all sound genuine and real over the phone. And it's really fucking me up. I can't plan anything financially, and I've already made plans to leave the business if things don't improve after this year.

 

I'm just like, what is this world coming to? Why are people doing this? I understand things come up, I've been the flake before (but rarely ever do I flake on a confirmed, bonafide appointment. EVER). But some of this stuff seems almost intentional. Like, they either are lying or just don't give a fuck. But, I just try to leave it up to "do unto others as THEY want to be treated, and what goes, comes". I've seen it time and again where friends or people I know have done me wrong...ran off to someone else, rubbed it in my face like a puppies face in his own shit, only for them to come crying back to tell me how so and so did them wrong and how I'm actually a good person with good intents.

 

I understand a cancellation or 2 here and there, but some guys really take the piss. And they don't seem to give a crap about doing it. I tell people sometimes, I'm a Pal's member. The store and the merchant. If the appointment can't be kept, and it was pre-planned, do the right thing.

I'm thinking to myself, here we go again. Once again, I'm just confused on the anatomy of horny men's brains.

 

The question: Cancellations. Mind changes. Not following thru. It's epidemic right now.

 

Excuses range from forgetting work stuff on their business trip, to colds, to being too busy at work and going home to bed after...to just clear no shows, not maintaining correspondence (adam4adam has become the epitome of that, that site is slowly dying in my opinion as far as escort/massage work goes), and just general prick, asshole shit. Then it in turn causes me to not be able to meet my obligations: like paying bills and keeping my travel city commitments. And I apologize to the universe and clients who were waiting to see me, that I've planned 3 working trips this year , and could only keep 1 because people's lies interfered with my personal plans (and not necessarily in the places I planned to go to). People lie to me, that makes me look like a liar because I can't go forward with my plans. 1 persons cancellation isn't going to make me go bankrupt, but over a long period of time, every week, that's a f-ing problem.

 

I'm just getting tired of it. I've already let a couple people know that I would just go ahead and add them to Blacklist sites for wasting my time. One guy, he rushed me about to meet him at a hotel by a certain time...when he wasn't even there himself. He got there 30 minutes after I said I could arrive, and still cancelled. I screened his phone number and it lead to his facebook page, which listed his photo, place of work and the fact that he's married. I told him personally, some escorts would have used that information and fucked him up...but I'm not that kind of guy. But that if he wants to re-book, even in another state, he needs to compensate me for my loss. No response. So on the list he shall go.

 

I'm at a point where I feel the lowest confidence ever in my career as an escort. It used to be getting nervous when opening the door to the other end. Now it's nervous because 7 times out of 10, an appointment made never happens. It's so hard to tell because people I've met before are doing it, new guys are doing it, and they all sound genuine and real over the phone. And it's really fucking me up. I can't plan anything financially, and I've already made plans to leave the business if things don't improve after this year.

 

I'm just like, what is this world coming to? Why are people doing this? I understand things come up, I've been the flake before (but rarely ever do I flake on a confirmed, bonafide appointment. EVER). But some of this stuff seems almost intentional. Like, they either are lying or just don't give a fuck. But, I just try to leave it up to "do unto others as THEY want to be treated, and what goes, comes". I've seen it time and again where friends or people I know have done me wrong...ran off to someone else, rubbed it in my face like a puppies face in his own shit, only for them to come crying back to tell me how so and so did them wrong and how I'm actually a good person with good intents.

 

I understand a cancellation or 2 here and there, but some guys really take the piss. And they don't seem to give a crap about doing it. I tell people sometimes, I'm a Pal's member. The store and the merchant. If the appointment can't be kept, and it was pre-planned, do the right thing.

[keithhardy]

I'm thinking to myself, here we go again. Once again, I'm just confused on the anatomy of horny men's brains.

 

The question: Cancellations. Mind changes. Not following thru. It's epidemic right now.

 

Excuses range from forgetting work stuff on their business trip, to colds, to being too busy at work and going home to bed after...to just clear no shows, not maintaining correspondence (adam4adam has become the epitome of that, that site is slowly dying in my opinion as far as escort/massage work goes), and just general prick, asshole shit. Then it in turn causes me to not be able to meet my obligations: like paying bills and keeping my travel city commitments. And I apologize to the universe and clients who were waiting to see me, that I've planned 3 working trips this year , and could only keep 1 because people's lies interfered with my personal plans (and not necessarily in the places I planned to go to). People lie to me, that makes me look like a liar because I can't go forward with my plans. 1 persons cancellation isn't going to make me go bankrupt, but over a long period of time, every week, that's a f-ing problem.

 

Sorry this is happening to you. I will agree with you that in my 11 year career as an escort I have noticed this same thing, just today I have already had cancelations for one appointment today and another later in the week. I like to give the benefit of the doubt but its beginning to get extremely difficult to do so. My frustration comes from the fact anymore its hard to tell who is genuinely serious about meeting. I don't know if its because of the rentboy issues or not. Part of me thinks the renyboy thing being in the media has made people aware we exist and they are curious about it and reach out to us. These people aren't like what we are used to, the guys that have known we existed long before even rentboy. Its very frustrating, I have been thinking a lot about ways to handle this, as I am losing business to those that may actually be willing to meet because I set appointments with guys that cancel like it means nothing. I know shit happens in peoples lives but lately it seems that many guys that contact me have last minute emergencies. Does asking for deposits really work, and would you guys actually pay a deposit? I am skeptical because personally I am not sure I would send money to someone I don't know. To add to the cancellations in recent months I have had guys wanting to meet who "don't pay for sex", had me show up to a hotel only for a woman to answer the door, tell me they want to hire me for a time way in advance and constantly texting me wanting to talk on the phone and FaceTime and when I say I don't FaceTime I never hear from them again after spending hours texting them about our meeting, been asked on dates, etc etc. I get curiosity but I am beginning to get nervous as to what comes next in this game playing that seems to be out of control. I can't waste my time looking up these guys that cancels Facebook info etc, because they have already wasted enough of my time and 2 wrongs don't make a right.

 

On a positive note I did have a client who canceled on me a few weeks ago lsat minute meet me over the weekend, I was a bit nervous about the meeting but all went well.

[keithhardy]

Sorry this is happening to you. I will agree with you that in my 11 year career as an escort I have noticed this same thing, just today I have already had cancelations for one appointment today and another later in the week. I like to give the benefit of the doubt but its beginning to get extremely difficult to do so. My frustration comes from the fact anymore its hard to tell who is genuinely serious about meeting. I don't know if its because of the rentboy issues or not. Part of me thinks the renyboy thing being in the media has made people aware we exist and they are curious about it and reach out to us. These people aren't like what we are used to, the guys that have known we existed long before even rentboy. Its very frustrating, I have been thinking a lot about ways to handle this, as I am losing business to those that may actually be willing to meet because I set appointments with guys that cancel like it means nothing. I know shit happens in peoples lives but lately it seems that many guys that contact me have last minute emergencies. Does asking for deposits really work, and would you guys actually pay a deposit? I am skeptical because personally I am not sure I would send money to someone I don't know. To add to the cancellations in recent months I have had guys wanting to meet who "don't pay for sex", had me show up to a hotel only for a woman to answer the door, tell me they want to hire me for a time way in advance and constantly texting me wanting to talk on the phone and FaceTime and when I say I don't FaceTime I never hear from them again after spending hours texting them about our meeting, been asked on dates, etc etc. I get curiosity but I am beginning to get nervous as to what comes next in this game playing that seems to be out of control. I can't waste my time looking up these guys that cancels Facebook info etc, because they have already wasted enough of my time and 2 wrongs don't make a right.

 

On a positive note I did have a client who canceled on me a few weeks ago lsat minute meet me over the weekend, I was a bit nervous about the meeting but all went well.

[MikeyGMin]

@keithhardy I doubt that very few clients would pay a deposit for a first meeting, because let's be honest, it's not always the client who flakes out. Cancellations are frustrating but are always going to happen. (My trainer told me that he expects at least one client each day to cancel and that's what he uses for his own workout time.)

 

There's a difference between a cancellation with notice and being stood up. As has been discussed before, I would definitely ask for a deposit after someone has stood you up, but you would have to play cancellations by ear.

[keithhardy]

@keithhardy I doubt that very few clients would pay a deposit for a first meeting, because let's be honest, it's not always the client who flakes out. Cancellations are frustrating but are always going to happen. (My trainer told me that he expects at least one client each day to cancel and that's what he uses for his own workout time.)

 

There's a difference between a cancellation with notice and being stood up. As has been discussed before, I would definitely ask for a deposit after someone has stood you up, but you would have to play cancellations by ear.

 

Thanks for the reply, I agree on everything you mentioned, with that being said one time I canceled and one time only and that was because of a car accident. Your trainer luckily has the luxury of scheduling multiple clients/day many of us escorts schedule one because lets face it performance can become an issue with multiple. I am honestly not talking legit cancelations, many of these guys that cancel NEVER had any intentions of meeting in the first place, its a game and only in the game does the escort come out as a loser. Fortunately if an escort cancels on a client, the client can pull from a pool of other escorts to make up for his lose, if he so chooses, an escort doesn't have that luxury. I choose not to meet someone who stood me up. I have had many legit clients cancel on me and have made it up to me, I have even been left compensation at the front desk of a hotel by a gentleman who had to cancel last minute. My frustration isn't the cancelations from clients that truly want to schedule an appointment, its with the games that are being played. We escorts have nothing to go by, we go by the unknown when we meet people thats hard enough to handle sometimes because we never know what the situation maybe...

[Mocha]

Thanks Juan and Keith for the kind n wise words and sharing your experiences.

 

But... There's good news on the horizon. It's like the universe heard me speaking and directed me to go to the east coast. It just told me to drop everything and go forward with the plans, even if it meant arriving on Super Bowl day. It's been a complete 360. Its like FINALLY...people are doing what the **** they're supposed to be doing. I've been getting flooded with calls for appointments, and even though there's a special person here who wants to meet this trip (you know who you are), by no means am I hanging on to all hope 1 person comes through (unlike some cities...where if 1 client can't make it, your whole day is ruined).

 

It just goes show, like Deborah cox said: what a difference a day makes. In an escort's case, what a difference a city makes. Some cities and states and regions just can't take a gay, ethnic, male escort seriously. It's a huge difference I've noticed in how professional I am treated in a large megalopolis versus some of these lil new money towns. And like Keith said, maybe people in other areas see our ad, but are so behind on the times, they don't take it seriously. And rentmen? Rentmen actually works out on the east coast. I've regained my trust and patronage in rentmen now lol. In other cities, rentmen looks very bad because people never turn up.

 

Fortunently, I'm not stuck trying to pay for a base to work out of. I've given up the yoke and burden of living alone in that horrid escorting town of Denver (though some of the examples were in other similarly sized towns), and I'm experimenting with the semi-nomadic lifestyle for now. It's good to know you can go elsewhere and experience and completely different change of pace.

[josh282282]

Some cities and states and regions just can't take a gay, ethnic, male escort seriously.

 

Mocha,

 

I hear your frustration. It's absolutely unacceptable and obnoxious that men make appts and don't show.

Or cancel at the last minute.

Or fail to call to reschedule.

All very frustrating to the provider.

 

BUT, do you actually think you are the ONLY escort experiencing this? Or the only business man experiencing this? I read these forums a lot and it seems to me that many escorts struggle to set up and find clients who keep their scheduled appointments. Its nothing new.

 

But did you know I hear personal trainers say to me the same thing? Heck, I know physicians who report the same problem. "No-show, No-call" is a problem for every professional, not just for escorts. And not just you. I strongly suspect many of the escorts here on this forum would be quite reluctant to discuss here online their true "No-show, No-call" rate out of fear of being considered less popular or successful. No-shows happen to everyone.

 

AND your blame your No Show rate on your race is wrong, plain and simple. Escorts of color and Caucasian escorts ALL struggle with this problem. You are using a victim mentality that is unhealthy (and racist towards non-people of color) and holds you back. FYI, I'm a man of color too, so yes I know a bit about playing the race card. Yes, we live in a racist society but this is not an example of it.

 

ESCORTS: I sympathize with your plight of these completely rude clowns who play games with your livelihood and no-show or cancel at the last minute. But what if we CHANGE the dynamic of this conversation to discussing strategies in REDUCING your no-show rates. You can't completely eliminate this problem, but with discussion and work, you can reduce it.

 

I'll start: I had a cable tv problem my home recently and the technician had to come out to fix it. I received THREE (yes, 3) calls on my phone all within 48 hours of the appointment reminding me of the scheduled appt that was made about 5 days before.

 

You know, my doctor's office does the same thing- calls me 2 days before to CONFIRM the doctors appointment.

 

So, are you escorts confirming the day before? Do you demand a confirmation discussion the day before via phone/text/email? Do you think it might help? Why or why not?

 

All escorts: please chime in and let's discuss other and all ways to address and decrease this vexing problem.

Clients, feel free to chime in with ideas, too.

[Mocha]

Mocha,

 

I hear your frustration. It's absolutely unacceptable and obnoxious that men make appts and don't show.

Or cancel at the last minute.

Or fail to call to reschedule.

All very frustrating to the provider.

 

BUT, do you actually think you are the ONLY escort experiencing this? Or the only business man experiencing this? I read these forums a lot and it seems to me that many escorts struggle to set up and find clients who keep their scheduled appointments. Its nothing new.

 

But did you know I hear personal trainers say to me the same thing? Heck, I know physicians who report the same problem. "No-show, No-call" is a problem for every professional, not just for escorts. And not just you. I strongly suspect many of the escorts here on this forum would be quite reluctant to discuss here online their true "No-show, No-call" rate out of fear of being considered less popular or successful. No-shows happen to everyone.

 

AND your blame your No Show rate on your race is wrong, plain and simple. Escorts of color and Caucasian escorts ALL struggle with this problem. You are using a victim mentality that is unhealthy (and racist towards non-people of color) and holds you back. FYI, I'm a man of color too, so yes I know a bit about playing the race card. Yes, we live in a racist society but this is not an example of it.

 

ESCORTS: I sympathize with your plight of these completely rude clowns who play games with your livelihood and no-show or cancel at the last minute. But what if we CHANGE the dynamic of this conversation to discussing strategies in REDUCING your no-show rates. You can't completely eliminate this problem, but with discussion and work, you can reduce it.

 

I'll start: I had a cable tv problem my home recently and the technician had to come out to fix it. I received THREE (yes, 3) calls on my phone all within 48 hours of the appointment reminding me of the scheduled appt that was made about 5 days before.

 

You know, my doctor's office does the same thing- calls me 2 days before to CONFIRM the doctors appointment.

 

So, are you escorts confirming the day before? Do you demand a confirmation discussion the day before via phone/text/email? Do you think it might help? Why or why not?

 

All escorts: please chime in and let's discuss other and all ways to address and decrease this vexing problem.

Clients, feel free to chime in with ideas, too.

 

I'm just trying to figure out, where is all this new victim mentality claims coming from? Do people even know the definition of a victim? A victim is not a mentality, it's an actuality. I'm not claiming any harm, I'm just speaking about things as they actually are. Thats not playing victim. that's just my perception and conclusion about things from what I've experienced.

 

I'll tell you WHY I make the claim that I do. Ears have not heard the things that I've heard. Or maybe they did, but they just want to play deaf. For the last 5 years in Denver, I've listened to how people called me out for just being "a lazy black gay male escort", when they didn't even know my background or work history. I've listened to so-called friends, call me out for being a "prostitute" in front of groups of strangers. I've had people say, "you're not even attractive, why would guys pay YOU?" I've listened to guys say they don't pay for sex, because there's so much free stuff going around. How can I do business in a town where people have the audacity to say things like that, and actually believe it?

 

I've sat and listened to all this garbage, and after awhile it does start to test your faith. Living in a city where people turn their noses up at you for what you do, and then add that infamous word "lazy" behind it. And that kind of stuff is contagious. When one person believes it, everybody else follows in suit. And guess what? That same dogma is picked up by clients in those areas (because they have friends who have friends), and you're stuck making $100 an hour, because that's what they feel you're worth, instead of $400 for a couple hours..back to back.

 

I've eliminated the problem by getting away from whack towns where people play those silly mind games. It's all about control and insecurity. Fortunently, I haven't heard that crap in awhile since I came to the east coast.

 

That said, I am well aware other professions and escorts may go thru the same. However, it becomes questionable when despite these things just happening on isolated incidents, it carries on for weeks and months.

[Guy Fawkes]

http://www.pigazette.com/Pig%20images/RaceCardMonopoly.jpg

 

I'm just trying to figure out, where is all this new victim mentality claims coming from? Do people even know the definition of a victim? A victim is not a mentality, it's an actuality. I'm not claiming any harm, I'm just speaking about things as they actually are. Thats not playing victim. that's just my perception and conclusion about things from what I've experienced.

 

I'll tell you WHY I make the claim that I do. Ears have not heard the things that I've heard. Or maybe they did, but they just want to play deaf. For the last 5 years in Denver, I've listened to how people called me out for just being "a lazy black gay male escort", when they didn't even know my background or work history. I've listened to so-called friends, call me out for being a "prostitute" in front of groups of strangers. I've had people say, "you're not even attractive, why would guys pay YOU?" I've listened to guys say they don't pay for sex, because there's so much free stuff going around. How can I do business in a town where people have the audacity to say things like that, and actually believe it?

 

I've sat and listened to all this garbage, and after awhile it does start to test your faith. Living in a city where people turn their noses up at you for what you do, and then add that infamous word "lazy" behind it. And that kind of stuff is contagious. When one person believes it, everybody else follows in suit. And guess what? That same dogma is picked up by clients in those areas (because they have friends who have friends), and you're stuck making $100 an hour, because that's what they feel you're worth, instead of $400 for a couple hours..back to back.

 

I've eliminated the problem by getting away from whack towns where people play those silly mind games. It's all about control and insecurity. Fortunently, I haven't heard that crap in awhile since I came to the east coast.

 

That said, I am well aware other professions and escorts may go thru the same. However, it becomes questionable when despite these things just happening on isolated incidents, it carries on for weeks and months.

[MikeyGMin]

So, are you escorts confirming the day before? Do you demand a confirmation discussion the day before via phone/text/email? Do you think it might help? Why or why not?

 

My regular, who I have been seeing every few weeks for over 6 months, and have never flaked a single time, still texts me the morning of our session to confirm and then again before he heads my way. Not because he thinks I'm a flake ( I'm pretty sure he knows that I am anxiously waiting for him. ) but because he knows that things can come up even with a proven reliable client. He runs a tight ship and isn't about to waste his time.

[Mocha]

http://www.pigazette.com/Pig%20images/RaceCardMonopoly.jpg

 

You're absolutely right, if you're referring to the things I've heard. Otherwise that gif is a bunch of bullcrap lol.

 

The quote Josh posted was basically me saying not every city is going to work for a gay ETHNIC male escort. That's true. If I took any 1 word out of that sentence, that too could apply. To rephrase what I meant, it was never meant to be racial. I've traveled the whole country. There's many states where people don't even know that gay male escorts exist. The whole concept is taboo to them. In addition, some Midwestern/western towns have certain people, perhaps in the gay community, who believe the stereotypes that ethnic men are all straight, womanizer types. So to present an ethnic person who also happens to be a gay escort...WHOA....that's just beyond the realm of everyday thinking.

 

I recently tried to introduce the concept in Montana while visiting a long time reg. Those guys out there were absolutely clueless. I had a few seemingly serious inquiries, but they were all massage requests and never panned out. They were just being nosy trying to see if Im an actual person. Places like that, they think you came 1,000 miles just to give 1 hour massages for $60. Except thru creative advertising, may get contacted by a couple guys who've waited months and years for a decent escort to pass thru. That can be fun...but it's not like high volume. It's like stay a couple days, and be on your way.

 

And for the most part...when I did tell people in some of the 2 interstate cities I'm an escort...they had no fucking clue in the WORLD what that meant. So it can be a challenge trying to make a career out of something in a place where people don't even know what it is. But like I said, I'm on the east coast and what I'm getting out here...Is more than I'd get in an entire month elsewhere. Pretty sad, but equally glad lol.

[Guy Fawkes]

So Why are you always the victim?

 

http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2016/01/06/635876590879303830-1098942687_victim-card.jpg

(I'm starting to get bored... You don't want me to be bored with you)

 

You're absolutely right, if you're referring to the things I've heard. Otherwise that gif is a bunch of bullcrap lol.

 

The quote Josh posted was basically me saying not every city is going to work for a gay ETHNIC male escort. That's true. If I took any 1 word out of that sentence, that too could apply. To rephrase what I meant, it was never meant to be racial. I've traveled the whole country. There's many states where people don't even know that gay male escorts exist. The whole concept is taboo to them. In addition, some Midwestern/western towns have certain people, perhaps in the gay community, who believe the stereotypes that ethnic men are all straight, womanizer types. So to present an ethnic person who also happens to be a gay escort...WHOA....that's just beyond the realm of everyday thinking.

 

I recently tried to introduce the concept in Montana while visiting a long time reg. Those guys out there were absolutely clueless. I had a few seemingly serious inquiries, but they were all massage requests and never panned out. They were just being nosy trying to see if Im an actual person. Places like that, they think you came 1,000 miles just to give 1 hour massages for $60. Except thru creative advertising, may get contacted by a couple guys who've waited months and years for a decent escort to pass thru. That can be fun...but it's not like high volume. It's like stay a couple days, and be on your way.

 

And for the most part...when I did tell people in some of the 2 interstate cities I'm an escort...they had no fucking clue in the WORLD what that meant. So it can be a challenge trying to make a career out of something in a place where people don't even know what it is. But like I said, I'm on the east coast and what I'm getting out here...Is more than I'd get in an entire month elsewhere. Pretty sad, but equally glad lol.

[maninsoma]

I'm just trying to figure out, where is all this new victim mentality claims coming from? Do people even know the definition of a victim? A victim is not a mentality, it's an actuality. I'm not claiming any harm, I'm just speaking about things as they actually are. Thats not playing victim. that's just my perception and conclusion about things from what I've experienced.

 

I'll tell you WHY I make the claim that I do. Ears have not heard the things that I've heard. Or maybe they did, but they just want to play deaf. For the last 5 years in Denver, I've listened to how people called me out for just being "a lazy black gay male escort", when they didn't even know my background or work history. I've listened to so-called friends, call me out for being a "prostitute" in front of groups of strangers. I've had people say, "you're not even attractive, why would guys pay YOU?" I've listened to guys say they don't pay for sex, because there's so much free stuff going around. How can I do business in a town where people have the audacity to say things like that, and actually believe it?

 

I've sat and listened to all this garbage, and after awhile it does start to test your faith. Living in a city where people turn their noses up at you for what you do, and then add that infamous word "lazy" behind it. And that kind of stuff is contagious. When one person believes it, everybody else follows in suit. And guess what? That same dogma is picked up by clients in those areas (because they have friends who have friends), and you're stuck making $100 an hour, because that's what they feel you're worth, instead of $400 for a couple hours..back to back.

 

I've eliminated the problem by getting away from whack towns where people play those silly mind games. It's all about control and insecurity. Fortunently, I haven't heard that crap in awhile since I came to the east coast.

 

That said, I am well aware other professions and escorts may go thru the same. However, it becomes questionable when despite these things just happening on isolated incidents, it carries on for weeks and months.

 

I have bolded the part of your post this is in response to. This isn't the first time you've posted something along these lines. I really don't understand your point. Are you really trying to make the argument that guys who have an easy time having sex with guys they are interested in should be paying you or other escorts instead of simply enjoying sex with unpaid partners? If so, I don't know how you can put forth that argument with a straight face. You seem to have the belief that because you're an escort, everyone who has sex with you should pay you. That's fine if you want to limit your sex life like that, but don't blame guys for not wanting to pay you if they're simply looking to hook up with someone and they can find someone other than you who doesn't expect to be paid.

[LADoug1]

I always confirm with a new escort the day before or the day of the appointment. I would suggest the escort try and do the same if at all possible.

[Mocha]

Ok, I'm opting out of this conversation at this point. I've already explained what I had to explain...take it or leave it. I'm not fixing to be dragged into some bullshit while I'm on vacation. So far everything is good. Moral of the story: some people suck, other people don't. And sometimes you have to travel 1,800 miles to find the ones who don't suck.

 

Whether or not Tom's Harry Dick wants to believe that, is not paying my bills. I do know what the fuck to do when I do want to see results. And that's not sit around in a town where people aren't serious about shit, and sit around listening to DEconstructive criticism about crap that's not going to change anything. It is, what it mother fucking is.

[Nvr2Thick]

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/56364394.jpg

[marylander1940]

I'm thinking to myself, here we go again. Once again, I'm just confused on the anatomy of horny men's brains.

 

The question: Cancellations. Mind changes. Not following thru. It's epidemic right now..

 

I got the same comment from a local DC escort... I wonder if the weather makes people lazy or maybe it's just the lack of travel that usually happens during this time of the year.

[Mocha]

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/56364394.jpg

 

Good, then stop eavesdropping. Did i address you? No. So keep it moving