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Seeking arrangements success!


MrMiniver

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I have a bit of a dilemma. Messaged with a guy whose profile pic is a very sexy torso. He has many private photos that he unlocked for me. The problem is that they look like they're not all the same person. And it's impossible to tell if any of them match the body in the profile. How do you proceed in such a situation? He says he's 21, Asian.

I always insist on a no obligation, no prepaid coffee/lunch meet. I keep a $25-50 gas gift card or whatnot in my pocket. If the guy is NOT who he said he was whether looks or whatever, I offer the gift card and a handshake and pleasant “good bye”.

 

If the guy is serious....he won’t object to the coffee meet. It’s kind of a “litmus test” for me and if they balk or don’t agree to meet, I’m not likely to continue the conversation and meet them. Any hint of prepayment is a non-starter and most likely I’ll block them.

 

I’ve had an incredibly high success rate leaving the coffee meet and returning to my home for more fun!

 

I Was stood up twice for the coffee meet but that hasn’t happened in almost 2 years since I’ve improved my vetting and sixth sense on seeking.

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Sadly this is an issue that seems to plagues every web site with profiles, especially among gay men. As a rule of thumb, if I suspect pictures are not of the same person, I opt for having nothing to do with the person. In my reasoning if the person misrepresents himself then he is by nature a dishonest person and hiding something. It may be something as simple as his looks, but the real him is what you'll be stuck with and not the photos person. Fake/stolen photos are bait and they are hoping to pull that over on people to achieve their propose. I'd move on for there are always lots other yet to be met! ;)

 

I disagree. The reasons to use fake pictures may be much more complicated than your interpretation. Surely, you are not alone and I am probably in the minority here, but still disagree quite strongly.

 

 

I have a bit of a dilemma. Messaged with a guy whose profile pic is a very sexy torso. He has many private photos that he unlocked for me. The problem is that they look like they're not all the same person. And it's impossible to tell if any of them match the body in the profile. How do you proceed in such a situation? He says he's 21, Asian.

 

I quite often do not trust pictures published in the web. The solution is very simple, before getting any further in the initial contacts, I ask for a videoconference call. Problem solved.

Edited by latbear4blk
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In the last few days I’ve come across a handful of what were likely fake photos. If something seems too good to be true it usually is.

 

SA continues to be a really fruitful channel for me to meet people. It hasn’t replaced RM but, on a 5-night business trip last week I met 1 guy from RM and 3 from SA. This ratio has held true for the last few months, spiking when I travel to a new city.

SA can be a wildcard and you have to deal with a lot of lunatics and waste allot of time but, on the other hand, two guys who I now consider to be close friends I met on SA over a year ago.

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I always insist on a no obligation, no prepaid coffee/lunch meet. I keep a $25-50 gas gift card or whatnot in my pocket. If the guy is NOT who he said he was whether looks or whatever, I offer the gift card and a handshake and pleasant “good bye”.

 

If the guy is serious....he won’t object to the coffee meet. It’s kind of a “litmus test” for me and if they balk or don’t agree to meet, I’m not likely to continue the conversation and meet them. Any hint of prepayment is a non-starter and most likely I’ll block them.

 

I’ve had an incredibly high success rate leaving the coffee meet and returning to my home for more fun!

 

I Was stood up twice for the coffee meet but that hasn’t happened in almost 2 years since I’ve improved my vetting and sixth sense on seeking.

 

I agree strongly with the advice posted by @MikeBiDude. I adopted a similar strategy - coffee or meeting over a drink/no obligation, no payment - when I used the site. It’s intriguing how within 10-15 minutes of conversation you can tell who is a nice guy and establish whether there is chemistry or not. I was pretty direct in stating in advance that we would talk first and, if we both wanted to, then see whether we were physically compatible.

 

Over time, I found that the only objectors to this meeting were guys who seemed problematic or difficult. Like him, I had a high success rate in meeting attractive young men and enjoying some very successful dates.

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this is very helpful. I took the first couple of guys out to lunch and paid for their time on top of that. The last guy was too in the closet to be seen in public so he just wanted to come over to my place.

 

I like the idea of coffee or something very light first with no promises of anything until after that first meeting.

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this is very helpful. I took the first couple of guys out to lunch and paid for their time on top of that. The last guy was too in the closet to be seen in public so he just wanted to come over to my place. I like the idea of coffee or something very light first with no promises of anything until after that first meeting.

 

If we had a good talk and then a fun time at home, I'd offer to take the guy out for lunch/dinner. And I'd set up a second date.

 

For various reasons, including my personal security. I (almost) never allow them to come to my house directly for first visit.

 

I agree 100%. I always met in public first (to check the man matched his photos). And with some guys, you get an instinct that not everything is as it should be...and so I did not disclose my precise address until after the first date had gone well.

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If we had a good talk and then a fun time at home, I'd offer to take the guy out for lunch/dinner. And I'd set up a second date.

 

 

 

I agree 100%. I always met in public first (to check the man matched his photos). And with some guys, you get an instinct that not everything is as it should be...and so I did not disclose my precise address until after the first date had gone well.

My one in every 100 exception - I will direct a new friend to an address right outside my (security guarded gate) complex. We meet on the street, and chat on the 4-5 min walk to my place. Similar to coffee meet if all feels right we move on...if not they don’t get into my complex and don’t know my address.

 

This is a rare occurrence when I feel the guy is for real and has legit reasons for not wanting to meet in restaurants.

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I started using the app again. It shows me the never-ending scroll of guys in the middle tab - it's very addictive. I guess maybe "the grass is always greener" but there are so many hot guys nowhere near me. I've exchanged messages with a few just to say "I saw your profile and think you're really attractive. Unfortunately we're nowhere near each other" I feel a little sad for some of them because they are in the middle of nowhere. But there are some really stunningly gorgeous guys (or photos anyway). One kid in NYC unlocked his photos and they are surprisingly explicit (I didn't think that was allowed). At least I am in a pretty major metro area so there are lots of guys here too...

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I started using the app again. It shows me the never-ending scroll of guys in the middle tab - it's very addictive. I guess maybe "the grass is always greener" but there are so many hot guys nowhere near me. I've exchanged messages with a few just to say "I saw your profile and think you're really attractive. Unfortunately we're nowhere near each other" I feel a little sad for some of them because they are in the middle of nowhere. But there are some really stunningly gorgeous guys (or photos anyway). One kid in NYC unlocked his photos and they are surprisingly explicit (I didn't think that was allowed). At least I am in a pretty major metro area so there are lots of guys here too...

Did this kid have a beautiful ass perched on a sink?

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just had a quick video call with a very cute boy who is totally my type and didn't mind showing off for me. Unfortunately he lives a couple of hours away but I am already checking hotels... :-) Seems like a very sweet (and horny) kid. I wish I didn't already have a trip planned for this weekend as he is eager to meet and so am I.

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any tips for the first time meeting a guy off SA for coffee or drinks? Realize this question has probably been asked before, but this thread is too long to expect someone to read from start to finish in one go.

Realize that he’s likely more nervous than you and may be somewhat wary of the situation and you. Put him at ease and help him realize that if you have a connection then things will work out well.

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any tips for the first time meeting a guy off SA for coffee or drinks? Realize this question has probably been asked before, but this thread is too long to expect someone to read from start to finish in one go.

 

Just go back 1 page; read these informative posts #1066, 1074, 1077 and 1078 :cool:

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maybe also consider a short video call (skype, duo, whatever) beforehand so you can both see that each other is real. I had a video call with a guy last night that was very good for putting us both at ease (I think). He mentioned that he's come across lots of fakes on his end so it was nice to meet some one who looked like his photo and was a real person.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have become addicted to the app. The never-ending scroll of guys does actually have an ending. :-) It's really fascinating to see the photos these guys choose to use.

 

I decided to cast my net a little wider and have started sending messages to guys who look good to me in their photos no matter where they are just to say something like "you're cute" or "I love your photo" or whatever. Struck up a very nice conversation with a smoking hot Canadian guy this way. He suggested that he could be available to travel to me. So it's something I will keep in mind. So many hotties so far away...

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