Hard Lesson On Racial Diversity 101

[JDXXX]

PART 1:

 

Hello Everyone,

 

I'm in Houston, TX on what is partly considered as part of my EOY tour, and happen to embark on an uncomfortable situation with a long-term VIP client I've had now in Houston for over 12 years that I need you guys advice with on how I handled the situation that I'm about to share with you.

 

A long-term VIP client of mine took me to Truluck's near the Galleria area of Houston this afternoon for lunch after our overnight together to celebrate of me winning the EOY 15. All was going well until he out of the blue asked(I kid you not) "how does it feel to be the first African-American to win EOY?" I paused and thought calmly, Oh Lord, Here we go.

 

Knowing me, I said to him in a kind and professional manner" It's wonderful to be EOY and hopefully part of this winning success will bring more diversity - it's a blessing indeed, but it's not because I'm African-American is why I truly won it.

 

I will admit, I am the 1st African American to ever win, but that's not the main focus for me. To some clients it was one of the major factors as I found out recently being there are not a lot of ground-breaking African-American escorts in the escorting profession as most of them are not really well-reviewed or is hidden and not exposed enough in the community somehow.

 

The client informed me during our conversation at hand to say the reason he asked was because he felt on the forum there was such negativity about a Black man winning EOY which was why he stopped participating on the forum a few weeks ago as he was receiving such negative racial reactions through PM's and was displeased of some of the outcomes publically on the forum that could be in his view regarding race.

 

Like I said to my client, I have gotten a few hate emails being called a "N" negativity outside of the forum being the sole winner, but not everyone is gonna root for me, and unfortunately if race was part of the issue - I can't help that.

 

Mighty sad that even in today's society in the 21st century we still have these barriers about race in the United States. Diversity has been a problem when it comes to clients it seems here on the forum for a long time, but now hopefully that will resolve itself more and more in the future, and open doors for other races as well as the Transgender community to be of high ranking such as EOY one day.

 

My opinion on this as I expressed to the client(just to clear the air on this on a personal level):

 

Yes, there has been (I will say from personal experience) a lot of people coming to me(escorts and clients) who felt I would never win EOY due to my race, and was told at one point by a few clients that because I was Black - I would never get any further than where I am( which was mediocre to him back 2 years ago).

 

Hearing my client express these issues was hard to hear, but to some degree was the truth considering there are not a lot of minorities to go by who are really reputable on the forum or on reviews period. The person most people do come to think of who had a stellar reputation in the escort/porn community is Sean Xavier who is you can say semi-retired. Sean is an awesome escort/porn actor as I'm very proud of his success as he has too opened doors in other minorities in this profession to be heard, and helped clients broaden they're minds in hiring other minorities who are just as good as anyone race in this world.

 

From what the client here in Houston has expressed is that most Black escorts who are mentioned or praised whether it's on the forum or outside of the forum, seems to get condemned, and put down of some sort for which at times I have noticed as well, but it's something you have to take with a grain of salt, and move on as yes, racism do exist, and there are going to be people who will give others a hard time because of the color of one's skin, but can't let that stop you or discourage you from being great as your reputation as an outstanding escort speaks for itself, and if your not appreciated as much because of race - that's those individuals problem - not yours.

 

I feel personally as an escort, my dedication, loyalty, and hard work in being one of the best escorts there is out there be should be award-winning enough, but from what I've been told by potential clients - it isn't as you have to prove yourself being 10 times greater because you are Black which is such a shame being told that more than once unfortunately.

 

Did winning EOY change my life so far when it comes to being an example broadening clients minds who don't hire Black men typically: OHHHHHH YESSSSS. It's a blessing that in some ways winning has made a dramatic difference not only in racial equality, but diversity as well. Had over 7 people here in Houston all tell me because of this award and such stellar reviews - they'll give me a try after not having great experiences in the past with other Black escorts as they found with me - that wasn't the case. It's a great feeling to be a leading example that not all Black escorts are horribly labeled negatively at times as they are some dynamic ones out there, but to make it one of the main focuses which is to why I should win an award is NOT so great as it was won based on my other multiple reasons, and do need to clear the air on that.

 

Part of me having a strong interest in being the EOY for a long time like I have( I will admit for the first time) was partly due to diversity, and to be blunt to open people's eyes that it was time for a change in not being so closed minded as minorities have a place in this world too in ALL fields in achieving success. It's time for Black guys in the escorting profession to not be so handicapped, and told were just another Black dick white guys get off on. I despise hearing such things, and even mistreated at times because of my race, but have to move forward and not let such negativity get you down.

 

CONTINUE ONTO PART 2:

[JDXXX]

PART 2:

 

I'm glad that I don't view one's race to root for them in being successful or to maybe be a potential client. Yes, everyone has they're preferences when it comes to race sexually, but to be mistreated and ridiculed because of the color someone's skin is just plain wrong, and degrading of one's value.

 

Some individuals felt I was up for EOY because of self-promoting purposes, and to gain recognition for the wrong reasons - NO - I was expressing interest( and glad to admit it now at this point) due to the fact I have been challenged that because of my race, and being a so-called "N" because I'm Black, no white guy is EVER going to elect a "N" to be EOY. I was informed of such a message from a client who is no longer a client anymore I must say because he himself had a habit of calling me racial slurs during my intimate moments with him. He felt because he hired me - I should be called these names whether I like it or not as they're just words that turns him on. You have no idea how awful, and discouraging that was for me to hear that because of most sites or the forum being of a more all-white site that glorifies typically white men - that I would never have a chance at winning or being greater at anything in a all-white escorting and at times porn profession as Blacks in some eyes are limited and not as recognized or well-received as well as White or Latino.

 

These unfortunate circumstances regarding race do happen in the crazy world we live in as I have been put down, and ridiculed under the worse possible circumstances for being "different". Hey, it is what it is, but we have to keep pushing forward and be the best we can be without stumbling.

 

This is no way playing the race card here, but sharing what does happen behind the scenes when it comes to these sort of situations regarding race relations in the client/escorting community at times - especially when it comes to people's misjudging others of another race due to so-called "preferences".:rolleyes:

 

The client did say before we left the restaurant that he was quite proud that I can be of a leading example in diversity, but like I told him - I'm touched of how my fellow colleagues in the business as well as my clients, and those who rooted for me who weren't my clients, didn't see my race as an issue for me not to win EOY or be successful - they felt I did because of my loyalty in the business was well-deserving which stands for itself.

 

Yeah, maybe I did ask a few people to vote, but what a lot of people from the forum don't understand is: a lot of people who are NOT forum members didn't even know anything about me running for EOY assuming I wasn't interested, and those that are forum members - didn't know I was even interested or in the running for it. There were a lot of people I didn't ask to vote, and one of them was a VIP who I didn't know was a forum member who admitted later he did vote for me because I was deserving of it due to my involvement on so many levels in the community which he expressed a lot of people felt that way. That's wonderful that others saw of my dedication in the community and voted for me based on that standing along - along with a few other talents, but it's wonderful to know my hard work and dedication in the community as well as escorting is paying off in various aspects and not just in one thing.

 

The client told me in the end - he too(before he met me) was one of those guys who wouldn't give a Black escort the time of day, and that I was the only one(based on my reviews) he would even considered in touching him as he used to be somewhat of a bigot.

 

This was information from him personally I never knew before as I've known him for years, and didn't know this whole time he wasn't into Black men back in his 20's and 30's. He said, since he and I had an amazing first session together back 12 years ago - he thought of giving other minorities a chance, and glad he did, and does hope by me winning this award will open doors for other minorities to shine in various opportunities which I thought was nice for him to say, but hope other minorities or Transgender groups will receive recognition on they're hard work, and ability to make a difference in helping the community, not based on they're race. Race could be part of it to help for diversity issues, but not make it the only reason why as my client disagreed, and got angry that I disagreed with the statement he made.

 

What do you guys think? I think the client shouldn't have gotten mad about me feeling that I'm proud to win on many various reasons, and not just make it about my race which is not the prime reason for winning.

 

Was I wrong to challenge him on his bias opinion?

[Juan Vancouver]

JD,

 

First of all, I have to say that I am very sorry to read you are having such a hard time with this. Even though I have myself experienced first hand the bitter touch of racism in your country, I confess that I cannot even start imagining what you go through every day. It is true that for a huge uneducated majority in the States, race is still a huge issue, whether they like to accept it or not, so what I am going to write is in no way trying to invalidate your experience, because I believe your must have to endure trials I cannot imagine, but perhaps to share with you how the situation looks from the outside hoping this might alleviate the pain you are feeling.

 

Because of our public frictions in the forum, I too received a lot of private messages about you. Some were supporting you, some were criticizing you. People discussed you in detail, in public and in private, and to my personal knowledge there was only one person who time and time again brought race into the conversation. The person I am talking about is you.

 

Every time anyone has tried to talk about you they referred to your behaviour, your appearance, your reviews, your modus operandi, but not once, not even passingly have I seen anyone discussing your race. Especially using it in a derogatory way. From the outside, the fact that you are black is entirely inconsequential.

 

It is possible that true racists might not want to show their racism when dealing with another coloured man, (me) but I think the most likely explanation of this is that when it comes to the little underworld of this forum and the tiny universe where Escort Of the Year is relevant, race is not an issue. I don't believe anyone would believe you won because or in spite of the fact that you are black. You won for entirely other reasons.

 

It is also possible that people might be wanting to tell you directly that you only won because you are black. Some people are abusive and love mind fucking others. Sadly, since you might be thinking too much about this subject, one comment will be enough to ruin your day.

 

Don't waste your precious time with racist pigs. Racist assholes will be racist assholes. Those are very few.

 

Don't make a storm in a glass of water. Don't give this any air time. It doesn't deserve it.

 

Be well.

[AndreFuture]

I feel personally as an escort, my dedication, loyalty, and hard work in being one of the best escorts there is out there be should be award-winning enough, but from what I've been told by potential clients - it isn't as you have to prove yourself being 10 times greater because you are Black

 

Well you know the saying, we have to work twice as hard to get half as far. It's been that way for centuries in pretty much all aspects of life in the US, so it makes perfect sense that racism affects the escorting world, even if it's not explicitly said out loud (yes, race can be at play even if its not "brought up", despite what the view from " outside" might suggest).

 

You haven't said anything I didn't know or was surprised by, JD, so all I can say is hang in there and keep your positive attitude. Sadly, racism, anti blackness specifically, is the foundation of American society and isn't going away anytime soon. The best we can do is be aware of it, do our best, support each other, and hope we're one of thr lucky ones who can beat the odds.

[instudiocity]

A Great American whose birthday EVERYONE of us celebrated this past Monday said, "I have a dream that my four little children will someday live in a nation where they are not judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. "

 

I'm an Alabama White Redneck who grew up in the segregated 60's yet shares THAT DREAM. In fact, I live that dream everyday in my personal life. I refuse to judge the worthiness of a person by their appearance.

 

Granted my attraction to hot sexy men may have certain specific criteria but judging a person cannot be limited to only their appearance. Remember, you were dealt your genetics by lottery, your character is your own choice, daily!

 

You, sir, have ALWAYS OWNED MY RESPECT and admiration because of the manner you have chosen to conduct yourself.

 

You earned EOY not by your skin color but by your extraordinary forum posture and behavior. I can only trust that in person you are even more awesome than your posts here. But I have no doubt you are a man of great intelligence and character.

 

Dr King's dream lives on ONLY when we all choose to continue in that GOAL dreaming of character rather than continuing in the nightmare of judging a person merely by their skin color.

 

Prettiest boy I ever saw had the most malignant heart I care to imagine.

 

Satan himself is described as the most beautiful of all creation.

 

Be comforted that you are a man among men and regrettably some assholes.

[JDXXX]

Well you know the saying, we have to work twice as hard to get half as far. It's been that way for centuries in pretty much all aspects of life in the US, so it makes perfect sense that racism affects the escorting world, even if it's not explicitly said out loud (yes, race can be at play even if its not "brought up", despite what the view from " outside" might suggest).

 

You haven't said anything I didn't know or was surprised by, JD, so all I can say is hang in there and keep your positive attitude. Sadly, racism, anti blackness specifically, is the foundation of American society and isn't going away anytime soon. The best we can do is be aware of it, do our best, support each other, and hope we're one of thr lucky ones who can beat the odds.

 

+1

[TruHart1]

Of interest to me is that the particular VIP client you've known for the majority of your escorting career actually surprised you with his honesty regarding his younger, perhaps somewhat racist attitude before you and he had "an amazing first session together back 12 years ago." We are all the result of our upbringing. I, myself, was a victim (!) of being raised in a very white suburban setting, school, etc. My parents always told me that all people, no matter their race, were the same. Still, until I had a job where I met and got to know a diversity of people, those outside my actual knowledge always seemed very exotic to me. Thank goodness that all changed in college and my career. I found my parents were correct. People are people!!!

 

I am with those that are of the opinion that, though an African American EOY may have been overdue, YOU, JD, won this award because you are among the very best escorts working today and because you know exactly how to give your clients what they want and need! Thank you, JD, for being the best of the best!!!

 

TruHart1

[JDXXX]

I wish I was as loved as JD was, he stays getting booked, so don't pay it any mind JD bc you are booked worldwide so many people love you!

 

P.S has there ever even been a Latin winner?

 

Thanks baby. I really appreciate your strong enthusiasm, input and support.

 

Yes, there are 2 Latin EOY winners.

 

1. Mr. Juan Vancouver - EOY 2007

2. Mr. AJ Irons - EOY 2010

[Guy Fawkes]

You should point to the distractors that every single one of the "Escorts of the Year" were a member of at least one minority.

 

Several are members of several minorities. IMHO the sooner we lose this type of bigoted Bullshit the better society will be. The last time I checked I was a member of five minories, so throwing the race card down around me just gets a bunch of scorn.

 

Just smile and move on. It's not worth the effort to defend what doesn't need defending.

 

PART 1:

 

Hello Everyone,

 

I'm in Houston, TX on what is partly considered as part of my EOY tour, and happen to embark on an uncomfortable situation with a long-term VIP client I've had now in Houston for over 12 years that I need you guys advice with on how I handled the situation that I'm about to share with you.

 

A long-term VIP client of mine took me to Truluck's near the Galleria area of Houston this afternoon for lunch after our overnight together to celebrate of me winning the EOY 15. All was going well until he out of the blue asked(I kid you not) "how does it feel to be the first African-American to win EOY?" I paused and thought calmly, Oh Lord, Here we go.

 

Knowing me, I said to him in a kind and professional manner" It's wonderful to be EOY and hopefully part of this winning success will bring more diversity - it's a blessing indeed, but it's not because I'm African-American is why I truly won it.

 

I will admit, I am the 1st African American to ever win, but that's not the main focus for me. To some clients it was one of the major factors as I found out recently being there are not a lot of ground-breaking African-American escorts in the escorting profession as most of them are not really well-reviewed or is hidden and not exposed enough in the community somehow.

 

The client informed me during our conversation at hand to say the reason he asked was because he felt on the forum there was such negativity about a Black man winning EOY which was why he stopped participating on the forum a few weeks ago as he was receiving such negative racial reactions through PM's and was displeased of some of the outcomes publically on the forum that could be in his view regarding race.

 

Like I said to my client, I have gotten a few hate emails being called a "N" negativity outside of the forum being the sole winner, but not everyone is gonna root for me, and unfortunately if race was part of the issue - I can't help that.

 

Mighty sad that even in today's society in the 21st century we still have these barriers about race in the United States. Diversity has been a problem when it comes to clients it seems here on the forum for a long time, but now hopefully that will resolve itself more and more in the future, and open doors for other races as well as the Transgender community to be of high ranking such as EOY one day.

 

My opinion on this as I expressed to the client(just to clear the air on this on a personal level):

 

Yes, there has been (I will say from personal experience) a lot of people coming to me(escorts and clients) who felt I would never win EOY due to my race, and was told at one point by a few clients that because I was Black - I would never get any further than where I am( which was mediocre to him back 2 years ago).

 

Hearing my client express these issues was hard to hear, but to some degree was the truth considering there are not a lot of minorities to go by who are really reputable on the forum or on reviews period. The person most people do come to think of who had a stellar reputation in the escort/porn community is Sean Xavier who is you can say semi-retired. Sean is an awesome escort/porn actor as I'm very proud of his success as he has too opened doors in other minorities in this profession to be heard, and helped clients broaden they're minds in hiring other minorities who are just as good as anyone race in this world.

 

From what the client here in Houston has expressed is that most Black escorts who are mentioned or praised whether it's on the forum or outside of the forum, seems to get condemned, and put down of some sort for which at times I have noticed as well, but it's something you have to take with a grain of salt, and move on as yes, racism do exist, and there are going to be people who will give others a hard time because of the color of one's skin, but can't let that stop you or discourage you from being great as your reputation as an outstanding escort speaks for itself, and if your not appreciated as much because of race - that's those individuals problem - not yours.

 

I feel personally as an escort, my dedication, loyalty, and hard work in being one of the best escorts there is out there be should be award-winning enough, but from what I've been told by potential clients - it isn't as you have to prove yourself being 10 times greater because you are Black which is such a shame being told that more than once unfortunately.

 

Did winning EOY change my life so far when it comes to being an example broadening clients minds who don't hire Black men typically: OHHHHHH YESSSSS. It's a blessing that in some ways winning has made a dramatic difference not only in racial equality, but diversity as well. Had over 7 people here in Houston all tell me because of this award and such stellar reviews - they'll give me a try after not having great experiences in the past with other Black escorts as they found with me - that wasn't the case. It's a great feeling to be a leading example that not all Black escorts are horribly labeled negatively at times as they are some dynamic ones out there, but to make it one of the main focuses which is to why I should win an award is NOT so great as it was won based on my other multiple reasons, and do need to clear the air on that.

 

Part of me having a strong interest in being the EOY for a long time like I have( I will admit for the first time) was partly due to diversity, and to be blunt to open people's eyes that it was time for a change in not being so closed minded as minorities have a place in this world too in ALL fields in achieving success. It's time for Black guys in the escorting profession to not be so handicapped, and told were just another Black dick white guys get off on. I despise hearing such things, and even mistreated at times because of my race, but have to move forward and not let such negativity get you down.

 

CONTINUE ONTO PART 2:

[JDXXX]

You should point to the distractors that every single one of the "Escorts of the Year" were a member of at least one minority.

 

Several are members of several minorities. IMHO the sooner we lose this type of bigoted Bullshit the better society will be. The last time I checked I was a member of five minories, so throwing the race card down around me just gets a bunch of scorn.

 

Just smile and move on. It's not worth the effort to defend what doesn't need defending.

 

Well said, Daddy!!!

 

Thanks for the advice as your love, and guidence is always appreciated dearly.

 

Much love,

[+ Truereview]

JD,

I don't know you or your client and I wasn't there, so I can't say whether you were right to challenge him or not. I do appreciate your bringing this topic forward. As a Latino, I empathize with some of your perspective. I do have some observations & recommendations for you to consider:

• American audiences (like this forum) hate braggarts. Forum readers miss your points bc you insert your name and your status as a winner too often in your posts. Not implying you are intentionally bragging, your writing style comes across that way though.
  
• Please dont carry the weight of racial injustice and necessary change on your shoulders. You will burn out. You can influence change in other ways.
  
• being a man/woman of color does not automatically make anyone a diversity and inclusion expert. Actually, we, gay men of color, have a lot of baggage we need to work through before we can help others be more inclusive. The topic you've brought up (race) requires careful and thoughtful facilitation to bring about the impact you seek. I don't believe you are equipped yet to facilitate this - neither are we. Daddy is right - let's move on...
  
• I think you may be a good teacher for escorting and learning the ropes. I've heard a couple of testimonials from you about how you've helped other escorts thrive. My suggestion would be for you to focus your passion on mastering the art of onboarding new escorts and helping established escorts perfect their craft. Do not tell us about it. Let those escorts speak for themselves when they are ready (not prompted). Your legacy on this will bring about some of the change you seek. Heck, it could even become a lucrative business - escort coach!
  

I'd love for you to redirect your EOY energy towards something not so onerous (race relations) but also immediate value-add to those of us in the forum (like teaching the JD experience). Respectfully, -TR

[+ Truereview]

I wish I was as loved as JD was, he stays getting booked, so don't pay it any mind JD bc you are booked worldwide so many people love you!

 

P.S has there ever even been a Latin winner?

But I wuv you, DomiK and you are my Latin winner....isn't that enuff?

[ny2222]

PART 1:

 

Hello Everyone,

 

I'm in Houston, TX on what is partly considered as part of my EOY tour, and happen to embark on an uncomfortable situation with a long-term VIP client I've had now in Houston for over 12 years that I need you guys advice with on how I handled the situation that I'm about to share with you.

 

A long-term VIP client of mine took me to Truluck's near the Galleria area of Houston this afternoon for lunch after our overnight together to celebrate of me winning the EOY 15. All was going well until he out of the blue asked(I kid you not) "how does it feel to be the first African-American to win EOY?" I paused and thought calmly, Oh Lord, Here we go.

 

Knowing me, I said to him in a kind and professional manner" It's wonderful to be EOY and hopefully part of this winning success will bring more diversity - it's a blessing indeed, but it's not because I'm African-American is why I truly won it.

 

I will admit, I am the 1st African American to ever win, but that's not the main focus for me. To some clients it was one of the major factors as I found out recently being there are not a lot of ground-breaking African-American escorts in the escorting profession as most of them are not really well-reviewed or is hidden and not exposed enough in the community somehow.

:

 

Hey JD

Well I will just say that your post made me very sad, that something you obviously work hard to achieve and is important to you can be brought down with “race” thing. It is sad, that it can’t be just who you are as a person and have nothing to do with the fact that you are African American. But it does and that is a fact of life and I think you especially can't just pretend it ain't so. In a way JD, like it or not you are a role model of an African American Escort. I guess the question is what does that mean? I don't know, it carries responsibility but I guess it is up to you to decide.

One thing: I totally disagree with DADDY. You CAN”T ignore it. I think I understand what he means, that if you acknowledge it you give it credence but that isn’t how it works. If you do that, ignore it, that action implies assent. “qui tacet consentire videtu”. And no you don’t have to be some race relations guru to do it. In fact I think it needs to come from everyone of us “normal” American people, white, black, Latino, gay, straight, that see injustice and speak up about it. IT definitely needs to see the light of day and we should not let it “ride” period. So if you feel that it is important and that you see a “race” issue, then hell yea bring it up. I personally welcome hearing about this issue of African American/White relations and if not you then who else has any better authority.

I don’t know you personally JD, just from your reviews, your posts and how people talk about you here, but it sure paints a pretty amazing picture as a person period.

[mike carey]

JD, it's incredibly sad that you felt the need to post on this issue. Clearly you have a lot of fans here, otherwise you would not be EOY and I'd like to think that race was not a factor in that. Whether it was or not, there will always be those who want to do a retrospective analysis to see what your success means in the context of race relations in the US. As I read your account of your discussion with your VIP client I didn't read it as evidence of his bias, but rather as evidence that he had overcome his bias. Race is a toxic issue in this country but as much as that is the case it is not always the issue in uncomfortable situations where the two parties are of different races. That doesn't mean that we should not consider our actions to ensure that race is not the underlying issue even if we think that it was not.

 

Importantly, even when race has faded as an issue in the public sphere, much of that is because some people feel that they can no longer talk or act that way because it is socially unacceptable. In private they are just as happy as they ever were to air their racist views, and they often consider the internet as one of those private spaces when it is not. Even when they recognise that the internet is indeed a public place they feel safe in their anonymity.

 

Two examples from Australia that illustrate that race is not the only issue where these trends come into play. This is not to minimise the effects of race in this country but rather to show that people apply the same negative standards to other issues as well.

• During a dicussion about women in public positions a commentator made the observation that in business men are assumed to be competent until they demonstrate otherwise whereas women are assumed not to be competent until they demonstrate that they are.
  
• We have an institution of 'Australian of the Year' that is awarded to someone who had been active in a cause. It gives them a year of public prominence to advance their cause. Last year's winner was a woman named Rosie Batty whose ex-partner had murdered her 11yo son after which she had become an accidental activist against domestic violence. To the end she was subjected to intense hate in social media and the comments sections under media articles from men for the work she was doing. Their apparent objection was that she remained strong and fought the issue rather than collapse in self-pity as she 'should have'.
  

Neither of these carry the weight that race still holds in the US but they serve to illustrate the extent to which privilege unconsciously informs or consciously energises reactions to diversity in all its forms today.

[+ Truereview]

I didnt know you were Latin too papi, I heard you say it somewhere on here. Puedo llamar te mi papi cuando estamos en cama haciendo el amor?

Solo si te portas bien, cariño

[AndreFuture]

One thing: I totally disagree with DADDY. You CAN”T ignore it. I think I understand what he means, that if you acknowledge it you give it credence but that isn’t how it works. If you do that, ignore it, that action implies assent. “qui tacet consentire videtu”. And no you don’t have to be some race relations guru to do it. In fact I think it needs to come from everyone of us “normal” American people, white, black, Latino, gay, straight, that see injustice and speak up about it.

 

Hear hear! People love to parrot decontextualized quotes from their simplistic understanding of Dr. king but forget he warned that the greatest obstacle to racial justice in America isn't the KKK but the white moderates: the people who say that we should be quiet, don't rock the boat, don't protest, because they want "peace". Dr. King called that an "obnoxious peace".

 

I agree, we don't need race experts, we need people with compassion, awareness, knowledge, and a sense of outrage at the injustice we currently inhabit. Everyone should speak up about injustice, especially people who would otherwise benefit from that injustice. Silence is complicity.

[mike carey]

Silence is complicity.

As the former Australian Chief of Army said in a video on the need for diversity in the Army (and he was referring to gender diversity), 'The standard you walk past is the standard you accept'.

http://vividmethod.com/leadership-message-the-standard-you-walk-past-is-the-standard-you-accept/

(Yes I know I've posted links to the speech before.)

[+ nycman]

I knew I should have ordered pizza when I saw the title....

 

Mushroom and pepperoni please...if it's not too late.

 

(god damn it I SWORE I wasn't gonna post in this thread!...damn you Juan and Killian!)

[bigvalboy]

If he's a doctor, he's buyin the pizza.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Solo si te portas bien, cariño

 

Please don't remove this, Deej. Some things just sound more romantic in Spanish.

 

After all, even Daddy wants HIS boys to be good.

[+ stevenkesslar]

All was going well until he out of the blue asked(I kid you not) "how does it feel to be the first African-American to win EOY?" ... It's wonderful to be EOY ...I will admit, I am the 1st African American to ever win, but that's not the main focus for me.

 

Did winning EOY change my life so far when it comes to being an example broadening clients minds who don't hire Black men typically: OHHHHHH YESSSSS. It's a blessing ... Had over 7 people here in Houston all tell me because of this award and such stellar reviews - they'll give me a try ... It's a great feeling to be a leading example...

 

Was I wrong to challenge him on his bias opinion?

 

I'll give you a 4 part answer to your 2 part confessional, JD.

 

First, a direct response. YES, you were wrong to challenge his biased opinion. He asked you a direct, factual, non-biased question, and you could have and should have answered exactly the way you did above, by stating "It feels wonderful." That would have put the issue to bed, quickly. I'm with Juan on this one. If you want people to stop making an issue of the fact that you are the first African American escort of the year, stop making an issue of the fact that you are the first African American escort of the year.

 

Second, an opinion. Having said that, if you want to make an issue of the fact that you are the first African American escort of the year, go for it. I'm all for that, too. Just don't shift responsibility for your decisions and perspectives to your clients, or anyone else. To me, there is absolutely nothing SAD about any of this. This is a story of how somebody exceptional worked hard to accomplish something, and succeeded. You are an exceptionally good escort, who is exceptionally talented in bed, and you have an exceptionally vibrant personality. Nothing about any of that has anything particularly to do with you being Black, yet I doubt that anybody involved in the drama of this EOY campaign overlooked your race. In fact, I'd say your race had everything to do with the campaign you ran and won. To the degree that this raised awareness and "opened doors" and paved the way for other "minorities," like transgendered escorts, to gain recognition, I'm all for it. Not one part of any of this rubs me as sad. I'm actually happy for you, and you are deservedly happy. Good for you.

 

Third, a recollection of facts. As a caveat, I am my Mother's son, and she has dementia, so my memory sucks. Having said that, I think when I met you at Oliver's party last year a key part of our first conversation went something like this:

 

JD: "I would like to be the first African American escort of the year."

Steven: "I'm a white liberal, and I would like to help you accomplish that."

 

How that drama played out on this website is now water under the bridge, but I am pretty sure there are at least dozens of times you privately expressed to me your desire to be the "first African American EOY," and I privately expressed my desire to help you. We spent hours handicapping how that might play out, including the impact of race and racism on the vote, to the degree that we can both be labelled as suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm a political whore, as well as a whore, so to me it was just fun. But there was no part of the beginning, middle, or end of this effort that was not focused on your desire to be the first African American escort of the year. Period. I am 1000 % sure of it.

 

So to now refer to a question that has to do with you being the "first African American EOY" as having anything to do with "bias" seems confusing at best and manipulative at worst, in that it just provides you with an opportunity to publicly raise the issue of race, which you just did, labelling it "Racial Diversity 101."

 

I'll add one other point to my recollection of this experience. When I voted for you for EOY, I stated explicitly that I thought it was "great that a Black man wants to be Escort of the Year, and has worked hard for it..." I was privately taken to task for this by a well known escort who was "appalled" by what I wrote because it was interpreted to mean this, in his words, and I quote: "It's great that a Black person finally has the desire and ambition and work ethic to achieve something." Actually, I never got the memo that informed me that thinking of you, and referring to you, as a particularly deteremined individual in any way maligned anybody else Black, or anybody else at all. But somehow a compliment given to you was construed to be an "insensitive" putdown of most or all other members of your race.

 

So, fourth and finally, here I will end with a series of questions for all of you to contemplate, and answer, if you wish, so we can all put this issue of race to bed and allow JD to bask in the well-deserved glory of being this year's EOY:

 

1. Is it racist of JD to have wanted to be the first African American escort of the year?

 

2. Is it racist for a white liberal like me to have wanted to help JD become the first African American escort of the year, and be explicit about that in writing when I voted for him?

 

3. Is it racist for another EOY finalist to have taken me on for being "insensitive" to Blacks in general by pointing out that it is great that a particular Black man, JD, wanted to be escort of the year, and deserved to be, IMHO? For that matter, is it racist that, after JD won, another EOY finalist and I agreed privately that it was good that JD won because "it's time" to have a Black EOY?

 

To restate the opinion I started with, I see no sadness here. I view this mostly through one prism. It is a narrative about determination and success, driven by one man's exceptional talents. The fact that he is African American is necessary but not sufficient to understand his determination and success. There is, in my opinion, nothing to regret or feel sad about. If there is any lesson, it is simply that it's cool and good to be open-minded.

 

Is this racism, or common sense, or just an aging Baby Boomer whore trying to pretend he's a hip Millenial?

[BabyBoomer]

an aging Baby Boomer

 

Rub it in, old man.

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ nycman]

I'll give you a 4 part answer to your 2 part confessional, JD....

 

I am my Mother's son, and she has dementia, so my memory sucks.....

 

Is this racism, or common sense, or just an aging Baby Boomer whore trying to pretend he's a hip Millenial?

 

You had me at "dementia".....because this thread is certainly....demented.

 

And the correct answer to ALL your deeply probing questions.is....

 

[bigvalboy]

I'll give you a 4 part answer to your 2 part confessional, JD.

 

First, a direct response. YES, you were wrong to challenge his biased opinion. He asked you a direct, factual, non-biased question, and you could have and should have answered exactly the way you did above, by stating "It feels wonderful." That would have put the issue to bed, quickly. I'm with Juan on this one. If you want people to stop making an issue of the fact that you are the first African American escort of the year, stop making an issue of the fact that you are the first African American escort of the year.

 

Second, an opinion. Having said that, if you want to make an issue of the fact that you are the first African American escort of the year, go for it. I'm all for that, too. Just don't shift responsibility for your decisions and perspectives to your clients, or anyone else. To me, there is absolutely nothing SAD about any of this. This is a story of how somebody exceptional worked hard to accomplish something, and succeeded. You are an exceptionally good escort, who is exceptionally talented in bed, and you have an exceptionally vibrant personality. Nothing about any of that has anything particularly to do with you being Black, yet I doubt that anybody involved in the drama of this EOY campaign overlooked your race. In fact, I'd say your race had everything to do with the campaign you ran and won. To the degree that this raised awareness and "opened doors" and paved the way for other "minorities," like transgendered escorts, to gain recognition, I'm all for it. Not one part of any of this rubs me as sad. I'm actually happy for you, and you are deservedly happy. Good for you.

 

Third, a recollection of facts. As a caveat, I am my Mother's son, and she has dementia, so my memory sucks. Having said that, I think when I met you at Oliver's party last year a key part of our first conversation went something like this:

 

JD: "I would like to be the first African American escort of the year."

Steven: "I'm a white liberal, and I would like to help you accomplish that."

 

How that drama played out on this website is now water under the bridge, but I am pretty sure there are at least dozens of times you privately expressed to me your desire to be the "first African American EOY," and I privately expressed my desire to help you. We spent hours handicapping how that might play out, including the impact of race and racism on the vote, to the degree that we can both be labelled as suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm a political whore, as well as a whore, so to me it was just fun. But there was no part of the beginning, middle, or end of this effort that was not focused on your desire to be the first African American escort of the year. Period. I am 1000 % sure of it.

 

So to now refer to a question that has to do with you being the "first African American EOY" as having anything to do with "bias" seems confusing at best and manipulative at worst, in that it just provides you with an opportunity to publicly raise the issue of race, which you just did, labelling it "Racial Diversity 101."

 

I'll add one other point to my recollection of this experience. When I voted for you for EOY, I stated explicitly that I thought it was "great that a Black man wants to be Escort of the Year, and has worked hard for it..." I was privately taken to task for this by a well known escort who was "appalled" by what I wrote because it was interpreted to mean this, in his words, and I quote: "It's great that a Black person finally has the desire and ambition and work ethic to achieve something." Actually, I never got the memo that informed me that thinking of you, and referring to you, as a particularly deteremined individual in any way maligned anybody else Black, or anybody else at all. But somehow a compliment given to you was construed to be an "insensitive" putdown of most or all other members of your race.

 

So, fourth and finally, here I will end with a series of questions for all of you to contemplate, and answer, if you wish, so we can all put this issue of race to bed and allow JD to bask in the well-deserved glory of being this year's EOY:

 

1. Is it racist of JD to have wanted to be the first African American escort of the year?

 

2. Is it racist for a white liberal like me to have wanted to help JD become the first African American escort of the year, and be explicit about that in writing when I voted for him?

 

3. Is it racist for another EOY finalist to have taken me on for being "insensitive" to Blacks in general by pointing out that it is great that a particular Black man, JD, wanted to be escort of the year, and deserved to be, IMHO? For that matter, is it racist that, after JD won, another EOY finalist and I agreed privately that it was good that JD won because "it's time" to have a Black EOY?

 

To restate the opinion I started with, I see no sadness here. I view this mostly through one prism. It is a narrative about determination and success, driven by one man's exceptional talents. The fact that he is African American is necessary but not sufficient to understand his determination and success. There is, in my opinion, nothing to regret or feel sad about. If there is any lesson, it is simply that it's cool and good to be open-minded.

 

Is this racism, or common sense, or just an aging Baby Boomer whore trying to pretend he's a hip Millenial?

 

Well I just have one question...Are you a doctor? Cause if you are, I'd marry your ass. None of this is racist or common sense. What it is, is a lot of 'Who shot John' and as to the rest of it, well my momma used to say...If you ain't got nothin nice to say, then....

 

Now who's buyin drinks?

[AndreFuture]

1. Is it racist of JD to have wanted to be the first African American escort of the year?

 

2. Is it racist for a white liberal like me to have wanted to help JD become the first African American escort of the year, and be explicit about that in writing when I voted for him?

 

3. Is it racist for another EOY finalist to have taken me on for being "insensitive" to Blacks in general by pointing out that it is great that a particular Black man, JD, wanted to be escort of the year, and deserved to be, IMHO? For that matter, is it racist that, after JD won, another EOY finalist and I agreed privately that it was good that JD won because "it's time" to have a Black EOY?

 

1. No
   
2. No
   
3. No