Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

[+ Gar1eth]

Hey Gman,

 

I hear your pain.

I am sending you all the

positive good vibes I can muster.

And I can muster a lot.

 

You write:

 

 

What's your BMI?

Or (pardon me for the insensitivity) if you don't know it, what's your height and weight? From these two parameters your BMI can be obtained.

 

I ask because one of the several bariatric surgeries currently available might be of clinical benefit to you. Typically, gastric bypass surgeries are indicated for BMIs greater than 39, but 35 is sometimes used as a criteria. The field of surgical weight loss has advanced significantly these past 15 yrs and the medical communities skill in this area is quite impressive. You could do quite well with this procedure.

 

I should know. I have 3 gay friends who have lost a total of HUNDREDS of pounds between the 3 of them after their surgeries. They look fantastic. And they are way more popular with men than prior to their surgeries.

 

With some weight loss, you may be elevated to an entirely different group of available guys, guys who not only only you find attractive, but they in you. Bariatric surgery could be a true game changer for you.

 

Maybe you could discuss this with your primary care physician?

 

Feel free to PM me if you want more details of what I've seen. Well, anyone on this forum can.

 

Good luck, man. I wish you nothing but the best.

 

I'm at 35. But there's no way. I don't tolerate surgery or anesthesia well. I always have complications. If I didn't I would have had a fundoplication years ago.

 

Gman

[+ Truereview]

Gman, I know exactly how you feel and what I do on occasion is drive 10-20 miles from home and get a room in a motel or hotel for an afternoon,evening or for a night and using my laptop placing Craigslist ads and phone apps I cruise for a hookup or 2 . I've had some awesome times and trust me I am NOT a looker. Most successful hookups were in the very late night(midnight to 3am)time frame and the afterwork 5 - 7 pm time. Not everytime was a success but had enough good times to do it on occasion.

 

LOVE IT! You go boy, get your groove on! It is all about taking the bull by the horns!

[curiousnomore]

I appreciate the encouragement. My immediate thought is that at the moment, I need Mr. Right Now as I have grave doubts Mr. The One And Only will ever show up.

 

They say there is truth in wine. You can get the same effect sans alcohol by being exhausted and awake for 16 or more hours. And the unfortunate truth is, as much as it hurts, I think I'm too damaged for a long term relationship. That would be fine. Many people aren't cut out for relationships. If only I could get my heart to stop yearning for one and learn to enjoy being alone.

 

Gman[/quote

I'm in the same boat, but with a wife/anchor dragging me under.

[josh282282]

I'm at 35. But there's no way. I don't tolerate surgery or anesthesia well. I always have complications. If I didn't I would have had a fundoplication years ago.

 

Ok, I hear you.

 

But there is a new bariatric procedure of a balloon placed in the stomach- it's swallowed, not done with surgery. That is at least looking into.

 

And in regard to not tolerating anesthesia: 1) once you are surgically "put under" the surgery will be done next, and you will wake up to a new life. Sure, you might be dealing with a surgical recovery (but not with the ballon method) but what's done is done. You deal withe recovery and move on (yes, I'm aware of how complex my suggestion might be). So I not sure that refusing even a surgical evaluation and it's potential risks/disadvantages outweigh the benefits/advantages (of getting the consult) . I humbly admit I don't know your health history in regard to the anesthesia or surgery intolerance (plz share). 2) Go get a consult from an anesthesiologist and review with him/her your anesthesia concerns. It's possible they can be addressed and surgery might then become an option.

 

Best of luck to you!!

[MikeyGMin]

Gman: you've gotten enough tough love here, but just a little more...

 

Your situation is not really that unique. It's just a fact of life that we all fall into a league. (I won't be at all surprised if somebody tries to dispute that, but you and I both know it's true.) It's very normal to want to date up and out of your league. I'd say it's common to be attracted to guys who are out of your league.

 

That said, you have to develop a coping strategy or resign yourself to being miserable. It's been said here before, but fooling around with escorts is most satisfying when it is only an enhancement to your life and not your complete strategy for happiness.

 

I can completely relate to your attraction to guys who are physically out of your league. 20 and 30-year-old muscle boys are out of my 50-year-old league. So I use escorts to scratch that itch.

 

However, that is just part of what I do. I still go out with friends and date men who are more age appropriate. Do I find them as hot as the muscle boys? No, I haven't found one yet, but at least there's the possibility of a future with them.

 

You really do need to work on your outlook on life and choose a path that allows for hope in future good things. Believe me, when I am out, I see plenty of round bald guys who are smiling and engaging with people and seemingly happy. I'm sure they all have their own demons but sometimes in life you have to "fake it until you can make it."

 

Good luck. Don't let this all become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[+ Truereview]

I think this is all load of psycho babble crap we've all been fed by society. The most realistic person in this thread is Gman.

• Being skinnier won't make you happier...bullshit...the psychological baggage of being obese will haunt you for the rest of your skinny life- how do I know that? I coached my best friend thru bariatric surgery, and 10 years later, she is still struggling with dating despite her good looks - she looks better than Barbie. Also, you can be fat, obese and get laid and have a fulfilling sex life...she used to. She just didn't like herself and now she is more messed up than before. Lots of similar stories out there.
  
• You can be short, you can have a small dick, you can have back problems....pep talks won't change that reality. Sugar-coating or tough love ain't gonna change someone's perspective overnight. You might look good saying the right thing, but it won't influence your target.
  
• Gman is friggin' exploring possibilities to get laid. Instead of bashing him, "helping" him, coaching him...get him laid! I love that you actively looking for alternative, Gman! To me, that's a big sign you are in it - not giving up.
  

Ok, I've gone off the deep end. Probably a sugar high! No harm intended to my fellow posters, but give Gman a friggin' break. I choose to believe the man is posting real feelings and we are just defaulting to the same old song.

[+ Gar1eth]

Gman: you've gotten enough tough love here, but just a little more...

 

Your situation is not really that unique. It's just a fact of life that we all fall into a league. (I won't be at all surprised if somebody tries to dispute that, but you and I both know it's true.) It's very normal to want to date up and out of your league. I'd say it's common to be attracted to guys who are out of your league.

 

That said, you have to develop a coping strategy or resign yourself to being miserable. It's been said here before, but fooling around with escorts is most satisfying when it is only an enhancement to your life and not your complete strategy for happiness.

 

I can completely relate to your attraction to guys who are physically out of your league. 20 and 30-year-old muscle boys are out of my 50-year-old league. So I use escorts to scratch that itch.

 

However, that is just part of what I do. I still go out with friends and date men who are more age appropriate. Do I find them as hot as the muscle boys? No, I haven't found one yet, but at least there's the possibility of a future with them.

 

You really do need to work on your outlook on life and choose a path that allows for hope in future good things. Believe me, when I am out, I see plenty of round bald guys who are smiling and engaging with people and seemingly happy. I'm sure they all have their own demons but sometimes in life you have to "fake it until you can make it."

 

Good luck. Don't let this all become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I appreciate the thoughtful reply. I think you might have missed out where I wrote I just don't like guys my size. I understand totally why a majority of guys aren't interested.

I'm not interested in guys who look

like me. But they don't have to be muscle guys

 

 

And I'm sorry folks. Becoming a muscle bear or even an athletic bear is not in the cards at least not right now. Most likely it won't be ever. It's not me. And while I might consider surgery if I were heavier, at a BMI of 35 I'm not willing to go through it.

 

 

Well I think we've all had enough fun with the helpful suggestions and the tough love. I appreciate the spirit in which each was given. I'm going to consider this thread now closed.

 

Gman

[Kuriousity]

I agree with PK. Get a hotel room by seatac for this Sunday night and charge it to me since I'll need one there anyways that night. I'll be there around 11:30 pm. I have a bdsm session earlier that night so I will be coming over a little banged and bruised up, but I should still be eager for it. We can work something out, and I'm sure you can crowdfund it. I'm not the hottest guy in the world, but I'm not a bad backup plan for the evening .

 

Not the hottest guy? Have you looked in a mirror? I direct you to the eyes & the butt, my good man.....

[bigvalboy]

I appreciate the thoughtful reply. I appreciate the spirit in which each was given. I'm going to consider this thread now closed.

 

Gman

 

Then I bid you adieu Gman, and wish you all the luck in the world, and just know that all the advice was given because we love you...And ssshhh, but pm me if you happen to hook up with Mike Gaite. I want all the details

 

http://i854.photobucket.com/albums/ab109/lacilu22/Unique%20Animated%20Glitter%20Art/040.gif

[BabyBoomer]

I'm going to consider this thread now closed.

 

Gman

 

Gman, one final question. About 2 weeks ago, Mike Gaite was the first to post about wishing you a happy birthday. How did MG know it was your birthday? Is there something you're not telling us?

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ Gar1eth]

Gman, one final question. About 2 weeks ago, Mike Gaite was the first to post about wishing you a happy birthday. How did MG know it was your birthday? Is there something you're not telling us?

 

~ Boomer ~

 

It's part of the info you can place on your profile page. I had it on there, but I took it off. I decided it wasn't wise to have that much personal info about on here. What if my Uncle Herman were to see it and discover my alter ego here on the Forum?

 

Gman

[YoungAD]

This is the part where Gman takes all of the suggestions and tells you why each won't work for him and his situation.

[+ sf westcoaster]

Let us not forget that in post #32 Gman said that he was going to consider this thread closed!

[+ Truereview]

PIZZA TIME!

[instudiocity]

... I just like guys at least in a little better shape than I am. There is also a physical reason. I'm not very well endowed. And the larger a guy is, the more trouble I have topping them.

im left wondering if it's not the larger guy on the backend of the dick that's causing this endowment issue. I lost thirty pounds and my frequent hire said my dick got longer. It didn't, but my penetration sure did improve.

[+ purplekow]

im left wondering if it's not the larger guy on the backend of the dick that's causing this endowment issue. I lost thirty pounds and my frequent hire said my dick got longer. It didn't, but my penetration sure did improve.

20 to thirty pound weight loss will add about 1/2 inch to the external aspect of the penis though your penis does not get longer, it just doesnt have as much room to hide. At that rate, if I get to ideal body weight, I will have a 17 inch dick.

[+ buddy12]

This is the part where Gman takes all of the suggestions and tells you why each won't work for him and his situation.

 

Please Gman...this is where young ad is absolutely right. I know you started this post for the "newbies" out here to know about you...but for the love of God, how many of these posts you do, do we have to read what an absolute low self esteem you have of yourself. And every suggestion made for your benefit results in your saying "I can't do it".

 

So why post? I don't know how many times I read from you I'm ugly, bald, fat, yada,yada,yada. For God sake if it's that bad, take control of your life. You may not be able to cure your baldness...but you can lose the weight. It's a simple eqaution...calories in and calories out. Workout at the gym....or at home. You're no younger than I am...and I use to be fat but I got it under control. And that is after 4....count them..4 spinal fusions...lost 70 pounds, went to the gym, started eating right and gained the muscle back. So please, get your life under control and rather than posting here for the sympathy card, look in the mirror after every workout and say...yeah, I'm fucking beautiful!

[gallahadesquire]

I go to the gym and say "I'm fat," and then went to the doc on Friday. Down 9 pounds from October; not really a clue how I did it. I think the added muscle mass helped.

[instudiocity]

20 to thirty pound weight loss will add about 1/2 inch to the external aspect of the penis though your penis does not get longer, it just doesnt have as much room to hide. At that rate, if I get to ideal body weight, I will have a 17 inch dick.

Good thing I'm not a size queen bottom, I'd be running that ass off.

[instudiocity]

I go to the gym and say "I'm fat," and then went to the doc on Friday. Down 9 pounds from October; not really a clue how I did it. I think the added muscle mass helped.

Except muscle is 3 times denser than fat so you must have moved the lard into bigger muscles while losing some, too.

[instudiocity]

Please Gman...this is where young ad is absolutely right. I know you started this post for the "newbies" out here to know about you...but for the love of God, how many of these posts you do, do we have to read what an absolute low self esteem you have of yourself. And every suggestion made for your benefit results in your saying "I can't do it".

 

So why post? I don't know how many times I read from you I'm ugly, bald, fat, yada,yada,yada. For God sake if it's that bad, take control of your life. You may not be able to cure your baldness...but you can lose the weight. It's a simple eqaution...calories in and calories out. Workout at the gym....or at home. You're no younger than I am...and I use to be fat but I got it under control. And that is after 4....count them..4 spinal fusions...lost 70 pounds, went to the gym, started eating right and gained the muscle back. So please, get your life under control and rather than posting here for the sympathy card, look in the mirror after every workout and say...yeah, I'm fucking beautiful!

Think that counselor has a financial interest in keeping GMan on OKCupid and off the treadmill?

[+ nycman]

So please, get your life under control and rather than posting here for the sympathy card, look in the mirror after every workout and say...yeah, I'm fucking beautiful!

 

[+ Gar1eth]

Think that counselor has a financial interest in keeping GMan on OKCupid and off the treadmill?

I don't see him anymore. He prescribed Viibryd. It didn't work and in spite of the hype does have sexual side effects-not as bad as an SSRI -but noticeable. So when I didn't want to take it or any other SSRI like medication, he decided he didn't want me as a patient anymore. And I was so close to paying for his cabin cruiser too.

 

Gman

[instudiocity]

I don't see him anymore. He prescribed Viibryd. It didn't work and in spite of the hype does have sexual side effects-not as bad as an SSRI -but noticeable. So when I didn't want to take it or any other SSRI like medication, he decided he didn't want me as a patient anymore. And I was so close to paying for his cabin cruiser too.

 

Gman

Cabin Cruiser? Shit he needed you to fuel that bitch!

[+ FreshFluff]

Indeed. Gman will not ever find happiness or love because he is not searching for either of those things. What he wants is pity.

 

From what I've seen of him here, I disagree. The guy Gman wants is hard to find, so the search process is frustrating. He can widen his net, but IME, being with someone you don't really like can feel lonelier than being alone.