Why won't you cum in my ass?

[greatnorthernp]

I have a question, not to anyone in particular—just to the world of escorts at large:

 

Why won't you cum in my ass?

 

I play safe. I insist on a condom, either the traditional sort or a "femdom"/female condom. I don't want you to bareback me, or vice versa. I am as disease-free as one can be, having been spared all STIs (including herpes, which is nearly miraculous, it seems). I am a good-looking man, middle aged and nicely built, without curious neurotic habits that might make you go limp, and have a fine ass (if I can compliment myself without appearing to be too conceited). I am polite, respectful, and get money matters over with at the beginning. I take you to dinner, amuse you, and keep it all lightly friendly. I'm not looking for love (got that already). While I do get sex elsewhere (from my husband and boyfriend), you're my extra-special fantasy for a few hours...a bit of sexual theatre...pornography incarnate. I'm a nice guy who dresses well. (Really!) But I enjoy hearing, seeing, and feeling a guy lost in the throes of orgasm as he clutches me tight while he fucks my ass. I could make you promise to cum in my ass at the outset, but that just doesn't seem right somehow. And it has no guarantee attached.

 

So, what gives? I've set the stage for a pleasant evening or more. I've made sure my hygiene is impeccable. I give great oral, kiss like a fallen angel, and genuinely enjoy sharing our common humanity. Even my whispered suggestion, "You can cum in my ass", goes unheeded. You pull out and unload all over me. Which is great and fine, but it's not quite as exciting as hearing you grunting in ecstacy, feeling those nearly uncontrollable thrusts and shudders, and fearing—just a tiny bit—for my ribs as you try to grasp me tighter than seems humanly possible.

 

Is it barebacking? Has it become so common that cumming in a condom is impossible? Too many clients? (I usually book evenings or overnights.) Fear? Any ideas?

[AdamSmith]

You have the wrong escort.

 

Keep looking! This is not a rare or hard-to-fulfill desire.

[jawjateck]

You are a dream client. I'm available and my rates are reasonable.

 

But seriously, keep searching. Your fantasy can be fulfilled.

[craigville beach]

I am a total bottom and enjoy making certain the top I am with is having a really good time. The better time he has the better time I have. I enjoy having my arms around him, with him deep inside me as he cums while inside me (with a condom). I enjoy hearing the sounds from him, feeling his body spasm as he unloads inside. I don't object to him cumming on me, I just prefer in me.

[Irtwo]

OP, when you say it like that, people think you want it barebacking. That's what I thought until I carefully read through your whole post. The escort might think the same thing if you're not clear.

[+ Truereview]

+1 on lrtwo's comment

Clarity: the mother of getting whatcha want. Personally, when I want something very specific, I don't add complicating layers....no dinner, no chit-chat, no worrying about my own suitability. I focus my companion on the task at hand and then reward him with all of the above (except for the self doubt bc I know I'm perfectly imperfect).

 

Now, any professionals (not necessarily clients) out there care to chime in with their view of this cum-in-my-ass dilemma?

Edited November 1, 2015 by Truereview

[+ nycman]

I agree with jawjatech, you sound like a dream client...and whatever rate he offers, I'll undercut it by 10%.

 

As a hardcore top, I love feeling a bottom cum while I'm fucking him. Not exactly analogous to the feelings

you describe above, but damn close. It can be intense and amazing, and I think I understand what you're

trying to describe.

 

However, I don't enjoy coming in a condom. I play safe, but I've always hated the feeling. Fucking?

No problem, condoms don't bother me at all. Cumming? I don't just dislike it, I hate it. I always feel

like my balls aren't free to empty all the way. Worst part is, the more turned on I am and the harder

I cum, the worse the sensation gets. Sometimes, it's even a little painful. So the times I'm having the

most fun always end on a sour note if I try and cum in the condom.

 

So it's become almost routine for me to get as close to cumming as I can and then pull out, rip off the

condom and finish off by hand on the bottom's ass. At this point I'm so into it, it almost qualifies as a fetish.

 

Also, for much of my adult life, most bottoms wouldn't let you cum in their ass, even with a condom

on. That's changed significantly in the past decade, but at the time it was a big deal, and I got used to it.

 

I've noticed a few bottoms get disappointed by this. Some go as far as to blame themselves. As if their ass

wasn't good enough to get me off 100%....which of course is insane.

 

So there you have it. I'm not sure it helps. I thought it might be interesting to hear the story from the

side of a top, who is VERY committed to keeping his bottoms happy, but sometimes can't.

[calrichmond]

I have a question, not to anyone in particular—just to the world of escorts at large:

 

Why won't you cum in my ass?

 

Is it barebacking? Has it become so common that cumming in a condom is impossible? Too many clients? (I usually book evenings or overnights.) Fear? Any ideas?

 

I find it impossible to cum in a condom. Fucking in a condom is like kissing through a door screen.

[+ Truereview]

I agree with jawjatech, you sound like a dream client...and whatever rate he offers, I'll undercut it by 10%.

 

As a hardcore top, I love feeling a bottom cum while I'm fucking him. Not exactly analogous to the feelings

you describe above, but damn close. It can be intense and amazing, and I think I understand what you're

trying to describe.

 

However, I don't enjoy coming in a condom. I play safe, but I've always hated the feeling. Fucking?

No problem, condoms don't bother me at all. Cumming? I don't just dislike it, I hate it. I always feel

like my balls aren't free to empty all the way. Worst part is, the more turned on I am and the harder

I cum, the worse the sensation gets. Sometimes, it's even a little painful. So the times I'm having the

most fun always end on a sour note if I try and cum in the condom.

 

So it's become almost routine for me to get as close to cumming as I can and then pull out, rip off the

condom and finish off by hand on the bottom's ass. At this point I'm so into it, it almost qualifies as a fetish.

 

Also, for much of my adult life, most bottoms wouldn't let you cum in their ass, even with a condom

on. That's changed significantly in the past decade, but at the time it was a big deal, and I got used to it.

 

I've noticed a few bottoms get disappointed by this. Some go as far as to blame themselves. As if their ass

wasn't good enough to get me off 100%....which of course is insane.

 

So there you have it. I'm not sure it helps. I thought it might be interesting to hear the story from the

side of a top, who is VERY committed to keeping his bottoms happy, but sometimes can't.

 

I find it impossible to cum in a condom. Fucking in a condom is like kissing through a door screen.

 

Great perspectives! And it would make a lot of sense if you were not being paid for your time.

 

To me, it seems the OP is saying...I paid for your time, I told you what I expected (sorta), and I even enhanced the experience, and yet I'm not getting what I want. With much respect to the human side of companions, if they prefer to pull out or don't like to cum in a condom, they should decline the OP bc they either can't perform it or prefer not to. Then the OP has a chance to decide if he still wants to continue booking.

 

I think it does go back to the original responses...in my opinion, either the OP is hiring the wrong companion or he is getting (consciously or unconsciously) duped by those who accept & end up pulling out. Excuses notwithstanding , it does not honor the requirement.

 

PS- is anyone else feeling a little frisky after reading nycman's response ?

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

... I don't enjoy coming in a condom. I play safe, but I've always hated the feeling. Fucking? No problem, condoms don't bother me at all. Cumming? I don't just dislike it, I hate it. I always feel like my balls aren't free to empty all the way... Sometimes, it's even a little painful.

This happens to me too if the condom doesn't fit or the reservoir at the tip is too small. You need to try a lot of different brands until you find one that fits just right. There are as many variations in condoms as there are in men's shoes. Would you rather wear your favorite running shoes or the wingtips you've had in the back of your closet since college?

[+ Truereview]

This happens to me too if the condom doesn't fit or the reservoir at the tip is too small. You need to try a lot of different brands until you find one that fits just right. There are as many variations in condoms as there are in men's shoes. Would you rather wear your favorite running shoes or the wingtips you've had in the back of your closet since college?

Hmmmm...now I wish I had nycman's predicament: I'm a top, my dick is too big and I need a bigger tip to contain my load comfortably! I'm doubly envious!

 

PS - I love reading the Forum! It beats studying Ulysses anyday!

[AdamSmith]

yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

[rvwnsd]

I have a question, not to anyone in particular—just to the world of escorts at large:

 

Why won't you cum in my ass?

 

...Even my whispered suggestion, "You can cum in my ass", goes unheeded. You pull out and unload all over me. Which is great and fine, but it's not quite as exciting as hearing you grunting in ecstacy, feeling those nearly uncontrollable thrusts and shudders, and fearing—just a tiny bit—for my ribs as you try to grasp me tighter than seems humanly possible...

 

I hate to be dense, but did you ask him in advance to cum in your ass? Here's why I am asking:

 

...

Is it barebacking? Has it become so common that cumming in a condom is impossible? Too many clients? (I usually book evenings or overnights.) Fear? Any ideas?

 

A couple of ideas:

1. It is possible that your top has held back cumming and requires more direct stimulation to cum than is provided while wearing a condom. If you asked him in advance to cum in your ass he might not have held off cumming and been able to do so while wearing the condom.
   
2. Some guys can't cum while using a condom, even when they do not bareback. They require more direct friction on their dick than they get from a condom.
   
3. Some guys are hyper-concerned about a condom tearing, breaking or slipping off (I would imagine tearing would be the most common of the three) and do not want to risk inseminating the bottom.
   

My suggestion is to ask your next escort in advance of the appointment to cum inside the condom while fucking you and see what he says. Recognize, however, that escorts are human beings and can't flip the "cum inside the bottom" switch.

[+ quoththeraven]

I was wondering the same thing as rvwnsd, especially after reading Truereview's post and thinking "but looking at it in terms of being deprived of what you wanted only makes sense if the escort knew about it when you made the appointment and you confirmed it at the beginning of the appointment."

 

Even so, people aren't automatons. It may turn out that with all the best intentions in the world the escort isn't able to come that way even though he expected to be able to. There have been threads in the past on the reasonableness of expecting escorts to come during/at the end of an appointment. It seems to me this is a specialized version of that discussion.

 

More than one escort has in the past mentioned that it takes awhile for them to come. (My theory is that they have sex often enough that they're better than the average person at holding off and are less sensitive to stimulation.) I know of an escort who can only reliably come with direct pressure to his balls. So it varies.

[+ Truereview]

Good points made! The crux of the matter is that hinting at what you want is not enough. It is imperative to make your wishes crystal clear as a client. The advantage of being clear upfront is that the ball is then on the companion's court. A companion with a shred of integrity who is not sure it can happen should say " I can't promise that." Then the ball is back on the OPs court.

 

My angle on this is integrity...companions are the expected professionals...they have a responsibility to educate their client on what to expect or not. If the client's request is something that can't be guaranteed, the companion needs to help his client understand. Frankly, I think a companion who enters an engagement not necessarily knowing they can perform the request is actually treating himself as an automaton and he is treating his client to a whole bunch of confusion.

Edited November 1, 2015 by Truereview

[Juan Vancouver]

Whispering "You can cum in my ass" during the session is not clear enough. It sounds a little like hot talk to me. It sounds like an endearment you say while making love.

 

Saying "If you are going to cum during the session and if you can cum while fucking me with a condom, that would be my absolute preference. That turns me on immensely." before the session is a much more efficient way of making it more likely.

 

In the end, of course, escorts are people. Sometimes they might be able to cum like this, sometimes they won't. It has absolutely nothing to do with your worth as a bottom.

 

Also, if it is not talked beforehand, the escort might just be protecting you, thinking about your safety or thinking you might thoroughly enjoy seeing him cum the way people cum in porn, you pull out and shoot where it can be seen. However, wondering why past escorts haven't done it is not useful. The only useful thing would be starting to communicate clearly and effectively before the session.

 

 

It may be a little unrelated, but it cracks me up sometimes how some clients are a little distanced from the physical reality of sex. Maybe out of a lack of experience, they regard the escort's body as a machine that can perform things on demand. This is always very evident when it comes to the escort orgasming. To give a few examples:

 

Client receives a massage for an hour, then turns over, touches the escort's leg and then says: "Cum on my chest now".

 

Client takes 25 minutes to open up, and when finally the cock goes in, after two really slow pumps says: "Cum now, I won't be able to take it longer".

 

Client tries to suck cock but deems it too big to go into his mouth, instead says: "Cum now, but come inside my throat".

 

In my case in order for me to cum while fucking someone it only happens after a LOOOONG time fucking in a very barbaric way. Very, very few bottoms can take it and if a bottom is not relaxed and experienced trying to cum inside him would only be incredibly hurtful.

 

It's not for everyone.

 

However if someone tells me during the hiring process that I must cum in his ass or else, I am very likely to pass on the session. I don't negotiate or promise sex acts or fluids. Not only that is illegal in my country, it is also de-humanizing and I find that it destroys the natural flow of intimacy and fun.

 

As with every other lover with whom I might have sex, I will pay great attention to your limits, suggestions and fantasies but will abandon myself to the natural flow of the passion. So far I have found it works really well for me and people that are compatible with me.

[Mocha]

Now, any professionals (not necessarily clients) out there care to chime in with their view of this cum-in-my-ass dilemma?

 

I don't really see it as a dilemma. I am uncut and condoms don't at all take away the abililty to cum. My only issue with cum up the bum, is the way the condom looks when it's full, and wondering what it might have looked like otherwise.

 

More than one escort has in the past mentioned that it takes awhile for them to come. (My theory is that they have sex often enough that they're better than the average person at holding off and are less sensitive to stimulation.) I know of an escort who can only reliably come with direct pressure to his balls. So it varies.

 

I think that theory would probably be very relative. After 6 years, I can still get off in 30 seconds, or 30 minutes. However, certain drugs, supplements and medications can cause someone to take longer to cum.

 

I assume the OP isn't referring to this, but I've noticed the actual act of C.I.A. seems to becoming quite common in certain scenarios. But, as I've said above...there's people like me who can still employ CIA tactics with a condom. Don't feel you have to risk rectal G.I. just to enjoy it, as I'm pretty sure guys will pull the "I can only cum when I fuck bare" card. And if you're not careful, other tops can pick that up before you may have the chance to realize it.

Edited November 2, 2015 by Mocha

[greatnorthernp]

It is a bit of a dance between the escort and the client, but also between diplomacy and suggestion and outright demand. I do make my preferences clear at the beginning, "I really get turned on when a hot guy cums inside while he's fucking me,” but would feel I had crossed a diplomatic line if I made it an absolute precondition. That just seems impolite in so many ways I wouldn't know where to begin. After all, neither escort nor client is a machine, and part of the wonder of truly human interaction is its unpredictable course, and I do enjoy it all, all of it—the dinner and conversation and seduction and sweat—but the cherry on the frosting on the cake makes it that much more fun. Love the cake! Love the filling! Love the frosting! (Too bad the cook didn't top it with some black cherries.) My only outright demand and absolute precondition is a condom for fucking, and that's made clear in my initial contact. I'm also open to different types of condoms, so the top need not fear the annoyance of being squeezed to discomfort. Interesting to note that my husband and boyfriend and casual sex buddies last about five minutes before they blow, inside.

 

I guess I could rephrase “I really get turned on when a hot guy cums inside while he's fucking me” as something like “Please, would you cum inside me while you're fucking me? It's a real turn on. And you get a big tip if you're really, really loud!” Finding the middle ground between the indignity of a shopping list and the impossibility of mind reading...well...

 

Thanks for the thoughts.

[greatnorthernp]

In my case in order for me to cum while fucking someone it only happens after a LOOOONG time fucking in a very barbaric way. Very, very few bottoms can take it and if a bottom is not relaxed and experienced trying to cum inside him would only be incredibly hurtful.

 

It's not for everyone.

 

However if someone tells me during the hiring process that I must cum in his ass or else, I am very likely to pass on the session. I don't negotiate or promise sex acts or fluids. Not only that is illegal in my country, it is also de-humanizing and I find that it destroys the natural flow of intimacy and fun.

 

Agreed! A shopping list is worse than tasteless.

 

But, I gotta say your comment about barbaric fucking gave me a boner I will have to deal with in a minute. Well done! It is a distinct and rare pleasure to be fucked with great skill and patience until I am utterly relaxed, slack, and groaning while the top goes into a total fuck frenzy.

[rvwnsd]

...I guess I could rephrase “I really get turned on when a hot guy cums inside while he's fucking me” as something like “Please, would you cum inside me while you're fucking me? It's a real turn on. And you get a big tip if you're really, really loud!” Finding the middle ground between the indignity of a shopping list and the impossibility of mind reading...well...

 

Thanks for the thoughts.

 

I would stop at "Please would you cum inside of me while you're fucking me? It's a real turn on." If he can and does cum in your ass, give him a nice tip, if you are so inclined.

[RussJohnson]

Whispering "You can cum in my ass" during the session is not clear enough. It sounds a little like hot talk to me. It sounds like an endearment you say while making love.

 

Saying "If you are going to cum during the session and if you can cum while fucking me with a condom, that would be my absolute preference. That turns me on immensely." before the session is a much more efficient way of making it more likely.

 

In the end, of course, escorts are people. Sometimes they might be able to cum like this, sometimes they won't. It has absolutely nothing to do with your worth as a bottom.

 

Also, if it is not talked beforehand, the escort might just be protecting you, thinking about your safety or thinking you might thoroughly enjoy seeing him cum the way people cum in porn, you pull out and shoot where it can be seen. However, wondering why past escorts haven't done it is not useful. The only useful thing would be starting to communicate clearly and effectively before the session.

 

 

It may be a little unrelated, but it cracks me up sometimes how some clients are a little distanced from the physical reality of sex. Maybe out of a lack of experience, they regard the escort's body as a machine that can perform things on demand. This is always very evident when it comes to the escort orgasming. To give a few examples:

 

Client receives a massage for an hour, then turns over, touches the escort's leg and then says: "Cum on my chest now".

 

Client takes 25 minutes to open up, and when finally the cock goes in, after two really slow pumps says: "Cum now, I won't be able to take it longer".

 

Client tries to suck cock but deems it too big to go into his mouth, instead says: "Cum now, but come inside my throat".

 

In my case in order for me to cum while fucking someone it only happens after a LOOOONG time fucking in a very barbaric way. Very, very few bottoms can take it and if a bottom is not relaxed and experienced trying to cum inside him would only be incredibly hurtful.

 

It's not for everyone.

 

However if someone tells me during the hiring process that I must cum in his ass or else, I am very likely to pass on the session. I don't negotiate or promise sex acts or fluids. Not only that is illegal in my country, it is also de-humanizing and I find that it destroys the natural flow of intimacy and fun.

 

As with every other lover with whom I might have sex, I will pay great attention to your limits, suggestions and fantasies but will abandon myself to the natural flow of the passion. So far I have found it works really well for me and people that are compatible with me.

 

"some clients are a little distanced from the physical reality of sex"...if I had a dollar,oh wait! (I'm still new to the forum forgive me for recycling this joke)

[phraughy]

I agree with jawjatech, you sound like a dream client...and whatever rate he offers, I'll undercut it by 10%.

 

As a hardcore top, I love feeling a bottom cum while I'm fucking him. Not exactly analogous to the feelings

you describe above, but damn close. It can be intense and amazing, and I think I understand what you're

trying to describe.

 

However, I don't enjoy coming in a condom. I play safe, but I've always hated the feeling. Fucking?

No problem, condoms don't bother me at all. Cumming? I don't just dislike it, I hate it. I always feel

like my balls aren't free to empty all the way. Worst part is, the more turned on I am and the harder

I cum, the worse the sensation gets. Sometimes, it's even a little painful. So the times I'm having the

most fun always end on a sour note if I try and cum in the condom.

 

So it's become almost routine for me to get as close to cumming as I can and then pull out, rip off the

condom and finish off by hand on the bottom's ass. At this point I'm so into it, it almost qualifies as a fetish.

 

Also, for much of my adult life, most bottoms wouldn't let you cum in their ass, even with a condom

on. That's changed significantly in the past decade, but at the time it was a big deal, and I got used to it.

 

I've noticed a few bottoms get disappointed by this. Some go as far as to blame themselves. As if their ass

wasn't good enough to get me off 100%....which of course is insane.

 

So there you have it. I'm not sure it helps. I thought it might be interesting to hear the story from the

side of a top, who is VERY committed to keeping his bottoms happy, but sometimes can't.

My sexual gratification depends on the tops ability to cum. If you fail to cum then I feel like I did not please you. I do not have sex to get off, I rarely cum. For me it is the intimacy with the top and getting them to cum. It is an incredible feeling to feel the cock pulsing as the top cums.

Edited January 2, 2018 by phraughy

[LADoug1]

My sexual gratification depends on the tops ability to cum. If you fail to cum then I feel like I did not please you. I do not have sex to get off, I rarely cum. For me it is the intimacy with the top and getting them to cum.

 

Glad to know there are others like myself!

[phraughy]

Glad to know there are others like myself!

I am not alone in this world. YAY. You made my morning.

[MartyB]

I've sort of given up on an escort cumming inside my "ass". I prefer he comes on my ads chest or in my mouth. Even with my regulars most of the time I'm the one to "cum" due to the escorts calendar more than likely. As for me I always pull out because I don't like cumming in a condom. I like to release in his mouth or on his ass.