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If bottoming is so good, why ...

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Juan Vancouver Collaborator

Juan Vancouver

Posted
Posted

I think there's four different things at play here, listed in no particular order:

 

1. A lot of porn is built around the concept that bigger dicks are better. And of course, since there is no way to show in a movie what that real pleasure feels like (pleasure is something that is experienced inside and it's really hard to capture something so subtle in a bad quality, fast paced sex film) the next best thing to show how big a dick is -aside from showing the dick itself- is to show how much pain it causes, how much fear the bottoms feels when he sees the dick, how much suffering can be inflicted with such a massive tool. There is a huge influx of "damage inflicted by huge dick" porn, "macho fucker" comes to mind, where the thrill is in wondering how it is possible for the bottom to endure the aggression, rather than enjoying it.

 

2. Most porn is done by men who seldom identify as gay nor as bottoms. They are just hot guys who think they can make a buck for a fuck. To make things worse, there is the fetishization of the straight guy forced to have sex with another man for money. The ultimate fantasy in this fetish, is of course having the "straight" guy fucked. A straight guy who is fucked, won't be convincing if he is having the time of his life. In order for the fetish to work, he has to show how much pain he is going through.

 

3. Applying the last rule in a very simplistic way, then, it turns out that a man who suffers bottoming is a "real" man, as in straight. Therefore a man who enjoys bottoming is a fag, or a lesser man. That's where slut shaming, bottom shaming and gay shaming come from. A man can enjoy getting fucked as much as he wants, but if he is getting filmed, especially if this is for a gay audience, there is a tendency to think that the more he suffers, the more of a man he is. The less he likes it, the hotter het presents. (Some escorts and clients believe the same, by the way)

 

4. Ultimately what ties all that together is that porn is the patriarchal portrayal of sex. It's seldom about mutual pleasuring, it is more about domination, conquering, overpowering, invading, fucking up. As I said before, capturing pleasure is very hard on film, but capturing war and violence is very easy. Porn more often than not is about the total obliteration of one, by the dick of the other. Sometimes they trade places, just to adopt reverse roles.

 

A very interesting study was made watching copulating couples in primates and human beings. It turns that there is what they named "the female copulating call". When a couple is having sex, the male is just going about his business, huffing, only wanting to get it done, while the female is screaming as loud as she can. This is supposed to alert other males that the current male is about to be done and she is open for business. The male has one orgasm, hers only get better as the copulating progresses. She is in control, she wants more. This same applies to couples fucking at Steamworks. The bottom is screaming his head off, the top is just huffing, doing his business.

 

When you have noisy fucker neighbours, you almost always hear the woman's or the bottom's screams, you rarely ever hear anything from the top.

 

In porn, it is often the other way. A submissive female (or bottom) is laying there quietly, enduring the fuck with maybe a complaint or two, while the male (or a group of them) yells things. "you like it, don't you?", "Yes, take it, yes!", "That's right, boy, that that big, hard, throbbing cock?", "I am going to show you!" you get the drift.

 

One is a real copulation, the other one is for show.

 

There are very few instances in which porn shows a delighted bottom. I can think of a kid from Sean Cody... and that's it. I wish it were more common.

 

Last thing before I get off my soapbox... Rudynate has it right. Porn has NOTHING to do with real sex.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

Posted
Posted

I don't like to be "fingered" it hurts too much a finger is hard and small, I never open up and it's just a bad feeling. I love big cocks as long as I get to seat on the guy in the beginning so I can get accustomed to his size... after that I can take it for a long time.

 

I'd rather big than small, as long as it's hard, a big soft cock feels like an "elephant trump", not a nice feeling when a guy's big cock gets soft.

 

I hope I wasn't too explicit..

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gp0560 Community Regular

gp0560

Posted
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Posted
I think there's four different things at play here, listed in no particular order:

 

1. A lot of porn is built around the concept that bigger dicks are better. And of course, since there is no way to show in a movie what that real pleasure feels like (pleasure is something that is experienced inside and it's really hard to capture something so subtle in a bad quality, fast paced sex film) the next best thing to show how big a dick is -aside from showing the dick itself- is to show how much pain it causes, how much fear the bottoms feels when he sees the dick, how much suffering can be inflicted with such a massive tool. There is a huge influx of "damage inflicted by huge dick" porn, "macho fucker" comes to mind, where the thrill is in wondering how it is possible for the bottom to endure the aggression, rather than enjoying it.

 

2. Most porn is done by men who seldom identify as gay nor as bottoms. They are just hot guys who think they can make a buck for a fuck. To make things worse, there is the fetishization of the straight guy forced to have sex with another man for money. The ultimate fantasy in this fetish, is of course having the "straight" guy fucked. A straight guy who is fucked, won't be convincing if he is having the time of his life. In order for the fetish to work, he has to show how much pain he is going through.

 

3. Applying the last rule in a very simplistic way, then, it turns out that a man who suffers bottoming is a "real" man, as in straight. Therefore a man who enjoys bottoming is a fag, or a lesser man. That's where slut shaming, bottom shaming and gay shaming come from. A man can enjoy getting fucked as much as he wants, but if he is getting filmed, especially if this is for a gay audience, there is a tendency to think that the more he suffers, the more of a man he is. The less he likes it, the hotter het presents. (Some escorts and clients believe the same, by the way)

 

4. Ultimately what ties all that together is that porn is the patriarchal portrayal of sex. It's seldom about mutual pleasuring, it is more about domination, conquering, overpowering, invading, fucking up. As I said before, capturing pleasure is very hard on film, but capturing war and violence is very easy. Porn more often than not is about the total obliteration of one, by the dick of the other. Sometimes they trade places, just to adopt reverse roles.

 

A very interesting study was made watching copulating couples in primates and human beings. It turns that there is what they named "the female copulating call". When a couple is having sex, the male is just going about his business, huffing, only wanting to get it done, while the female is screaming as loud as she can. This is supposed to alert other males that the current male is about to be done and she is open for business. The male has one orgasm, hers only get better as the copulating progresses. She is in control, she wants more. This same applies to couples fucking at Steamworks. The bottom is screaming his head off, the top is just huffing, doing his business.

 

When you have noisy fucker neighbours, you almost always hear the woman's or the bottom's screams, you rarely ever hear anything from the top.

 

In porn, it is often the other way. A submissive female (or bottom) is laying there quietly, enduring the fuck with maybe a complaint or two, while the male (or a group of them) yells things. "you like it, don't you?", "Yes, take it, yes!", "That's right, boy, that that big, hard, throbbing cock?", "I am going to show you!" you get the drift.

 

One is a real copulation, the other one is for show.

 

There are very few instances in which porn shows a delighted bottom. I can think of a kid from Sean Cody... and that's it. I wish it were more common.

 

Last thing before I get off my soapbox... Rudynate has it right. Porn has NOTHING to do with real sex.

 

That's it. As usual, Juan, you come through with the analysis I was looking for. You've got it right, in that you put into words the vague impressions I've had all along. (You must be right. After all, you agree with me.) Also, you bring up the script with all the "You like those biceps, don't you?" lines. So silly and fake, but that's porn, not real life, as Rudynate said.

 

Thank you for responding. (I've GOT to get to Vancouver before I get too much older.)

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
Posted
I don't like to be "fingered" it hurts too much a finger is hard and small, I never open up and it's just a bad feeling. I love big cocks as long as I get to seat on the guy in the beginning so I can get accustomed to his size... after that I can take it for a long time.

 

I'd rather big than small, as long as it's hard, a big soft cock feels like an "elephant trump", not a nice feeling when a guy's big cock gets soft.

 

I hope I wasn't too explicit..

So you bid one, no trump? Two hards. And then a grand slam is made.

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