Why don't many escorts return calls or emails?

AdamSmith · September 30, 2015

Vacation bible study!

whipped guy · September 30, 2015

Brilliant Mike...so many favorites, I don't know where to start? How about #19...

Yes, the one about "respected forum members" not following through with appointments! Go figure! Who woulda thunk!

Thank the gods that at least some of us here, like Rodney Dangerfield, have never been respected...

BaronArtz · September 30, 2015

I don't respond to clients at times because:

19. I'm tired from dealing with people who write me dozens of times about meeting and are regular contributors to this site and respected forum members but then never follow through with confirming an appointment
20. You no-showed on me previously yet keep calling me (too numerous to list)

23. You ask me what 20 bucks will get you.
24. You ask me what 200 bucks will get you.
25. You want now or never
26. You treat me like cattle

I very much liked the humor in your post! I also understand the level of frustration that escorts must go through - some of your comments above reflect that. Being 'treated like cattle' is just awful. I would not respond either. No way.

mike carey · September 30, 2015

I'm surprised that Rowan County, Kentucky isn't in the list of places Mike would almost certainly never visit!

whipped guy · September 30, 2015

I'm surprised that Rowan County, Kentucky isn't in the list of places Mike would almost certainly never visit!

Well, while not specifically named, I know for a fact that they don't have a Four Seasons there... So I think that makes it a done deal that he ain't gonna be a goin' there.

leeper · September 30, 2015

Last week I contacted a well-known, well-reviewed, guy who was going to be traveling to a nearby city this week. He responded positively and even quoted a rate. I responded, asking what time he planned on arriving in the city, given that I had some flexibility, and also let me know where he was staying. That was the last I heard from him. I sent two follow-up emails a few days ago to try and confirm and then a couple of follow-up texts, when I had gotten no response. So far, nothing. The planned date was yesterday, so that ship has sailed, so to speak. I might add, that I met this escort at a forum event and had a nice conversation with him. I had let him know that we had met before in my initial email. So now I'm left wondering, what happened? Why the initial response, then nothing? This also happened earlier this year in New York with another gentleman who I had also met before, where an initial positive contact was made, then silence. I did get a "sorry man, got busy" text from him a few days later.

James Daniel · September 30, 2015

For me as a escort responding to a text is much easier then having to answer a call...Sometimes we are in a public place or hanging out with friends...and emails can easily get lost in a huge email account which most of us have...Also keep in mind how you email or text a escort especially after the Rentboy shutdown...I often wont keep the conversation going if someone is to forward right away..Hope this helps

jimboivyo · September 30, 2015

22. You expect me to do an outcall to a hotel not named the Four Seasons

A man with the confidence to have taste! you sir are sexy just for #22 alone.

BaronArtz · September 30, 2015

Last week I contacted a well-known, well-reviewed, guy who was going to be traveling to a nearby city this week. He responded positively and even quoted a rate. I responded, asking what time he planned on arriving in the city, given that I had some flexibility, and also let me know where he was staying. That was the last I heard from him. I sent two follow-up emails a few days ago to try and confirm and then a couple of follow-up texts, when I had gotten no response. So far, nothing. The planned date was yesterday, so that ship has sailed, so to speak. I might add, that I met this escort at a forum event and had a nice conversation with him. I had let him know that we had met before in my initial email. So now I'm left wondering, what happened? Why the initial response, then nothing? This also happened earlier this year in New York with another gentleman who I had also met before, where an initial positive contact was made, then silence. I did get a "sorry man, got busy" text from him a few days later.

Sorry to hear that happened to you. Don't take it personal. I would think 'something better came up'? In any event, that is just rude. Both guys could have simply said that they were not available. This is not complicated.

+ *WilliamM* · September 30, 2015

For me as a escort responding to a text is much easier then having to answer a call...Sometimes we are in a public place or hanging out with friends...and emails can easily get lost in a huge email account which most of us have...Also keep in mind how you email or text a escort especially after the Rentboy shutdown...I often wont keep the conversation going if someone is to forward right away..Hope this helps

One of the very best response, a sincere thank you..

I have avoided this thread because I thought I already knew the questions and answer, but clearly I was wrong.

mike carey · September 30, 2015

James, you have provided a series of well thought-out comments in several threads. Thank you!

leeper · September 30, 2015

I am assuming something better came up. By the way, I always find out what the preferred method of communication is. For the guy in question, both email and text were listed - and I used both. Not a newcomer to this and my communications are always brief, business-like, and careful. This approach usually works well and I am surprised that it didn't this time.

BabyBoomer · September 30, 2015

I am assuming something better came up. By the way, I always find out what the preferred method of communication is. For the guy in question, both email and text were listed - and I used both. Not a newcomer to this and my communications are always brief, business-like, and careful. This approach usually works well and I am surprised that it didn't this time.

Is this escort a forum member?

~ Boomer ~

leeper · September 30, 2015

Actually he is, but I won't call him out on it by name, in case it may just be a fluke, something out of his control happened to him, or he is able to make it up to me later.

RussJohnson · September 30, 2015

no utter expert here, but some hints I can think of include:

-- if emailing, put city and date in the subject line, if known

-- be discreet in the initial contact and don't mention or ask about money matters

-- be to-the-point, professional, brief, specific

-- describe yourself very briefly and accurately

-- if emailing, also send a text that you emailed them

-- be very polite, friendly, respectful

-- and, yeah, texting seems to be the way to go these days, though I sometimes need email for longer notes

Can't like this enough! If you send a difficult message it makes it harder to respond meaning it has to be put off and possibly forgotten. For example my most recent one "Hey whats up" from a number not in the area I am in followed by random non-detailed texts which don't come off as serious. Also, emailing asking if Im available that night in a city where my travel dates are clearly listed for next month, if Im busy I'm not going to be able to respond to it and then it will be too late. Also think about your medium of communication based on the timetable you want to meet. Emailing, or messaging through the sites (RM, A4A) is great if it's in advance (at least a day), calling next cause I should be able to at least listen to the message in a few hours, and text tops if it's immediate or soon, as I can most likely discreetly give a yay or nay. I know everyone hates texting but it really is the most practical.

I actually really appreciate when clients double up with multiple forms of communication, message with followup or call with followup text, it makes sure I'll have two chances to get your message, makes it seem like you are more serious (not hiding behind anonymous sign-ins on sites) and gives me options to return communication. I think most of us are dealing with multiple accounts, with multiple sign-ins, with multiple ways of replying, a lot of us completely separate from our multiple personal accounts so it's not as easy as it may seem to reply.

For example - Sending a message thru RM means I have to get the message through my email (which already has a backlog), then log on to the site, and then reply from there, not as easy to do on the fly as it may seem.

I try to give a short (hello and thanks if i can, but if you ask "whats up?" " or "When will you be here" thats not easy. But - "I'm so-and-so, I know you don't have (city) on your schedule yet but here are my (useful) details add me to your list to contact when you know you are coming" (or even better "but I want to bring you here!")

geminibear · October 1, 2015

I don't respond to clients at times because:

1. I'm figuratively tied up
2. I'm literally tied up
3. I'm in a sleep sack
4. I'm recovering from being in a sleep sack and can't feel my hands so I can't type
5. I'm abroad and didn't pay for international data plan bc the client I'm traveling with forbade it
6. I'm eating dinner with my grandmother and she knows every time I look at my phone it's because a client is contacting me
7. My partner has threatened to divorce me for the umpteenth time if I don't stop indexing.
8. I'm at vacation bible study
9. I'm tired of looking at my phone after getting lots of messages about Pnp all day
10. I've overlooked the message while sorting through aforementioned Pnp messages
11. You are from Lesotho, Azerbaijan, Lithuania, Rapid City South Dakota, or some other place I would almost certainly never visit
12. I can only maintain my body by being tired and perpetually hungry
13. I get the non-response from doctors, lawyers, and the customer service people at venmo, so I for some reason think it is an acceptable norm not to respond to people
14. I make a trip to your city and a client snatches me up for the entire duration of my stay
15. I have a medical issue and am out of commission
16. I am planning to be in your city but then an amazing offer comes along and I back out
17. You're a bear
18. You're not a bear
19. I'm tired from dealing with people who write me dozens of times about meeting and are regular contributors to this site and respected forum members but then never follow through with confirming an appointment
20. You no-showed on me previously yet keep calling me (too numerous to list)
21. I'm not good about responding to everyone when I'm overhelmed with texts and emails. It's a character flaw but at least I'm popular.
22. You expect me to do an outcall to a hotel not named the Four Seasons
23. You ask me what 20 bucks will get you.
24. You ask me what 200 bucks will get you.
25. You want now or never
26. You treat me like cattle
27. You are nice but most others are in the above cattle group and I misclassify you as mean
28. I have dates clearly listed in my ad and you are asking about the wrong dates for a given city, and I table our conversation but then forget about it.
29. I'm checking my schedule and thus waiting to reply and forget to respond
30. A shark has eaten me. It's an excuse as good as any

Mike Gaite

http://m.men4rentnow.com/profile.cfm?CID=296625

http://www.cruisingforescorts.com/index.php?file=l&search_type=escort_id&escort_id=14857

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review/mike_gaite_sanjose

I thought we discussed #11, Rapid City South Dakota. Try it you might like it. Lots of human interest. Mt. Rushmore. God's country etc etc etc.

Pretty good list. Sums it up in a nutshell.

I hear sharks have great taste.

borgerback · October 1, 2015

I don't respond to clients at times because:

1. I'm figuratively tied up
2. I'm literally tied up
3. I'm in a sleep sack
4. I'm recovering from being in a sleep sack and can't feel my hands so I can't type
5. I'm abroad and didn't pay for international data plan bc the client I'm traveling with forbade it
6. I'm eating dinner with my grandmother and she knows every time I look at my phone it's because a client is contacting me
7. My partner has threatened to divorce me for the umpteenth time if I don't stop indexing.
8. I'm at vacation bible study
9. I'm tired of looking at my phone after getting lots of messages about Pnp all day
10. I've overlooked the message while sorting through aforementioned Pnp messages
11. You are from Lesotho, Azerbaijan, Lithuania, Rapid City South Dakota, or some other place I would almost certainly never visit
12. I can only maintain my body by being tired and perpetually hungry
13. I get the non-response from doctors, lawyers, and the customer service people at venmo, so I for some reason think it is an acceptable norm not to respond to people
14. I make a trip to your city and a client snatches me up for the entire duration of my stay
15. I have a medical issue and am out of commission
16. I am planning to be in your city but then an amazing offer comes along and I back out
17. You're a bear
18. You're not a bear
19. I'm tired from dealing with people who write me dozens of times about meeting and are regular contributors to this site and respected forum members but then never follow through with confirming an appointment
20. You no-showed on me previously yet keep calling me (too numerous to list)
21. I'm not good about responding to everyone when I'm overhelmed with texts and emails. It's a character flaw but at least I'm popular.
22. You expect me to do an outcall to a hotel not named the Four Seasons
23. You ask me what 20 bucks will get you.
24. You ask me what 200 bucks will get you.
25. You want now or never
26. You treat me like cattle
27. You are nice but most others are in the above cattle group and I misclassify you as mean
28. I have dates clearly listed in my ad and you are asking about the wrong dates for a given city, and I table our conversation but then forget about it.
29. I'm checking my schedule and thus waiting to reply and forget to respond
30. A shark has eaten me. It's an excuse as good as any

Mike Gaite

http://m.men4rentnow.com/profile.cfm?CID=296625

http://www.cruisingforescorts.com/index.php?file=l&search_type=escort_id&escort_id=14857

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review/mike_gaite_sanjose

Mike . . . I'm feeling the heat on #19, EXCEPT for the fact that (a) I'm probably not 'well-respected' around here - not enough posts or contributions; and (b) I'm still WAY BELOW 'dozens'. Hope you don't give up on me!!

E

TruHart1 · October 1, 2015

I don't respond to clients at times because:

1. I'm figuratively tied up
2. I'm literally tied up
3. I'm in a sleep sack
4. I'm recovering from being in a sleep sack and can't feel my hands so I can't type
5. I'm abroad and didn't pay for international data plan bc the client I'm traveling with forbade it
6. I'm eating dinner with my grandmother and she knows every time I look at my phone it's because a client is contacting me
7. My partner has threatened to divorce me for the umpteenth time if I don't stop indexing.
8. I'm at vacation bible study
9. I'm tired of looking at my phone after getting lots of messages about Pnp all day
10. I've overlooked the message while sorting through aforementioned Pnp messages
11. You are from Lesotho, Azerbaijan, Lithuania, Rapid City South Dakota, or some other place I would almost certainly never visit
12. I can only maintain my body by being tired and perpetually hungry
13. I get the non-response from doctors, lawyers, and the customer service people at venmo, so I for some reason think it is an acceptable norm not to respond to people
14. I make a trip to your city and a client snatches me up for the entire duration of my stay
15. I have a medical issue and am out of commission
16. I am planning to be in your city but then an amazing offer comes along and I back out
17. You're a bear
18. You're not a bear
19. I'm tired from dealing with people who write me dozens of times about meeting and are regular contributors to this site and respected forum members but then never follow through with confirming an appointment
20. You no-showed on me previously yet keep calling me (too numerous to list)
21. I'm not good about responding to everyone when I'm overhelmed with texts and emails. It's a character flaw but at least I'm popular.
22. You expect me to do an outcall to a hotel not named the Four Seasons
23. You ask me what 20 bucks will get you.
24. You ask me what 200 bucks will get you.
25. You want now or never
26. You treat me like cattle
27. You are nice but most others are in the above cattle group and I misclassify you as mean
28. I have dates clearly listed in my ad and you are asking about the wrong dates for a given city, and I table our conversation but then forget about it.
29. I'm checking my schedule and thus waiting to reply and forget to respond
30. A shark has eaten me. It's an excuse as good as any

Mike Gaite

http://m.men4rentnow.com/profile.cfm?CID=296625

http://www.cruisingforescorts.com/index.php?file=l&search_type=escort_id&escort_id=14857

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review/mike_gaite_sanjose

Dear Mr. Gaite:

Although I continue to have you on my "hope to meet" list and have 'almost' been able to set an appointment (but it hasn't worked out so far - though hope still springs eternal, my dear Callipygian!)

Please add the following (which actually happened when I almost met you twice!)

31. May of 2014: I have business in your city so will tentatively plan a time for us to meet! But that business matter never occurs. (maybe #16: an amazing offer comes up?!)

32. December of 2014: I have family holiday plans set to visit your city. Tentative appointment is set up! My family changes plans so as not to visit your city. (#6: shades of dinner with your Grandmother!)

(continuing to hope for and look forward to our eventual meeting!)

TruHart1

whipped guy · October 1, 2015

Dear Mr. Gaite:

31. May of 2014: I have business in your city so will tentatively plan a time for us to meet! But that business matter never occurs. (maybe #16: an amazing offer comes up?!)
32. December of 2014: I have family holiday plans set to visit your city. Tentative appointment is set up! My family changes plans so as not to visit your city. (#6: shades of dinner with your Grandmother!)

I just got up and read this and ran to check the date out. Heck I was in a stupor to begin with. Plus, you know me always confused. Plus, when one is newly retired one starts loosing track of the days. Well, having already experienced that I then thought that I had skipped loosing track of the weeks and months and went straight to loosing track of the years.

Then thinking that I had not yet totally lost my mind, then for more than a fleeting moment I thought that the past 17 months was quite the dream. Fortunately not a bad dream, but I thought it a dream nonetheless! What jolted me back to my senses was that I knew who this Mike Gaite person was and I knew who this TruHart person was as well and gradually I came back to reality. I even remembered responding to this thread and mentioning "Grandma".

So no, I'm not loosing my mind! Plus it was not a dream!

I simply woke up to another typical day of the surreal madness that is Daddy's! Not a bad thing at all!

Mikegaite · October 1, 2015

Regarding my not responding to clients in the past, it has probably been my fault about half the time, if not slightly more. That being said, I would add number 31: someone took my phone and dropped in a pitcher of cranberry juice. That unfortunate incident did happen to me.

I'm not defending the behavior, but I think the problem of not returning calls is one existing across numerous segments of the population in various industries. It becomes an expected norm and the behavior perpetuates itself. Ultimately, you still see the same doctor or lawyer or escort bc he is good at his job, even if not the best communicator remotely. In the end, it looks like Tyler and the OP connected and all was well. Without censure, the poor response-time continues, but at the end of the day, it's not the most important factor when selecting a service provider.

Mikegaite · October 1, 2015

Regarding my not responding to clients in the past, it has probably been my fault about half the time, if not slightly more. That being said, I would add number 31: someone took my phone and dropped in a pitcher of cranberry juice. That unfortunate incident did happen to me.

I'm not defending the behavior, but I think the problem of not returning calls is one existing across numerous segments of the population in various industries. It becomes an expected norm and the behavior perpetuates itself. Ultimately, you still see the same doctor or lawyer or escort bc he is good at his job, even if not the best communicator remotely. In the end, it looks like Tyler and the OP connected and all was well. Without censure, the poor response-time continues, but at the end of the day, it's not the most important factor when selecting a service provider.

+ *Keith30309* · October 1, 2015

It seems like I'm having problems getting escorts to return my calls or emails. This happens both with relatively unknown guys as well as at least one guy who's well-known both in the industry and on this forum. Back when I lived in Chicago, I tended to see the same guys and didn't have this problem, but now that I've moved and must travel to where the escorts are, it's becoming a problem. As I say, it isn't a problem for every escort, but it gets frustrating when most of my calls go unreturned. Any thoughts?

OK - I'm a little pissed off and need some help from the members in deciding if I'm unreasonable or have unrealistic expectations of an escort's obligation to meet what I perceive to be implied commitments.

Two similar scenarios: escort advertises visit to city, client contacts escort to arrange meeting and pleasantries exchanged, when day approaches a time and location are agreed upon (i.e., Monday, 3:00pm, at Hotel X at 123 Main St.), client arranges business schedule to meet escort, escort cancels with little/no notice, reason given is financial.

Scenario 1: escort cancels evening before agreed-upon time - text message cryptic but seems that price of flight is the issue.

Scenario 2: escort emails that flight delayed & client re-rearranges schedule; escort emails 3 hours after meeting time and says that a regular client happens to be in town and has hired him for the weekend. Sorry.

Common element#1 - communications were all via text & email; I'm learning that this invites problems, though I'm not sure it would have changed anything in either case.

Common element#2 - client mistakenly interprets escorts' visits as being rock-solid commitment after time & location decided rather than tentative and based on some other criterion.

Common element #3 - escorts' decisions are based purely on the business case - expenses vs. income - it's nothing personal.

So kids - does client need to put on his big-girl panties and accept the fact that IT'S A BUSINESS and it's not always going to be a win-win. Or, is client's consternation justified at having rearranged his schedule and made arrangements based on a good-faith assumption that agreement was a commitment which was not honored?

+ *Keith30309* · October 1, 2015