Escort gives cold shoulder in real life? Typical

[nyblkguy]

I wanted to see if this was normal...

 

I began seeing escorts fairly recently and started with the most well reviewed. Unbeknownst to me at first, I end up seeing a couple who both escorts. I realized it when they gave me the same incall address. I think I saw one guy once, and the other 3 times. The second guy mentioned that he knew I saw his BF once. He said they discuss their clients all the time. I didn't know what to make of that comment. Then a bit later on in the session he goes into their whole relationship issues with me, as they had a fight before I arrived. Needless to say the mood was blown for me, and the escort ultimately was so mentally preoccupied by the earlier BF fight he couldn't perform. So I ended the session and to his credit the escort didn't try and charge me. I haven't hired anyone since that encounter due to some dating.

 

Anyway, the past few months I keep running into this escort couple out and about together socially. I play it really cool and say just hello. I don't linger or try and chat them or the people they are with up. Knowing that they know who I am and that I have been with both of them, I expected them to be equally chill about the situation.

 

Thinking all was cool, I tried to set up a session with one of them again recently. And I didn't get a response at all. And usually I got a warm hello and immediate responses. I didn't think anything of it, thinking maybe he'd get back to me later that day or the next. Just to say he was busy that weekend or something. However, I never got a reply.

 

Here's my question or issue....

 

So after no response to my earlier communication I see them a few days later and they literally look me in the eye at a party and then walk right past me! Suddenly they both acted like they didn't know me!

 

Is that to be expected? I was a good client and I actually had great sessions with both and tipped them each time. Now they act like I did something wrong to them.

[Rudynate]

I wouldn't call it normal, but sex or money always add an additional dimension to a relationship. With escorts you're throwing both into the mix. Add to that the fact that the two involved are a couple, and you have a volatile mix. It's unfortunate that they seem to be making you the bad guy. In truth, there are no bad guys in this situation.

[mmk123]

I think that I would look for another escort or two that you would not see socially out. To me, I like to keep things separate and would not want to see an escort that I was with at the same social function that I am at.

[Wolfer]

As Liz Lemon would say: "Shut it down!" People who don't value you enough, or are not mature enough to at least present a modicum of cordial behaviour, especially in professional dealings, are not worth your time.

 

I recently had a similar situation with an escort. When I was with him he repeatedly asked me to stay in touch, keep him posted on my life and stuff. So when I did that he would, without fail, cut the conversation short after two sentences with (very lame and transparant) excuses. One time he said: "two seconds, I'll be right back"

It took him two weeks to get back to me. That's when I knew I had to shut it doooown.

 

I wouldn't have minded so much if he hadn't himself been so insistent about keeping in touch and then clearly couldn't be bothered to have even the lightest of pleasantries exchanged occasionally. It wasn't like I was texting him every day. Maybe a short text once every two/three weeks (if even that!). I think I may have even only sent three texts, and left it at that. Fool me once and all...

[Despardo]

Obviously, the open business relationship between this couple isn't working out very well. Don't be offended. This has nothing to do with you. Do you really want to be in the middle of a private domestic dispute of this kind? Time to move on. It seems that they have already done so. No, this is not normal (or common) from your perspective as a client, however, the couple's decision to eliminate you as a source of conflict between them is entirely understandable. Their problem, not yours.

[nyblkguy]

I think that I would look for another escort or two that you would not see socially out. To me, I like to keep things separate and would not want to see an escort that I was with at the same social function that I am at.

 

I keep things separate mentally very well. It seems they do not have the maturity to do so. I've moved on from them both for sure. One gets such rave reviews on here for being such a gentleman and such.

 

I am on the younger side and only hire for the occasional no fuss fun. So I see escorts and massage guys all the time at the bars and clubs. And I made sure not to act strange around them. I just said hello the first time, and kept moving.

 

LA is a small town in many ways, so I would think I can't be the first client they see out and about. But I was blown away by how cold they were about it.

[jawjateck]

When things go off-track, no matter what stage (during pre-meet communications, a session, or follow-up meetings/communications), I just move on. I'm not a therapist, and I don't attempt to understand behavior or to discern motives. I have enough burdens to bear without loading myself with the cares of men that I don't know. This hobby would be no fun at all if I took everything seriously or too personally.

 

I'm not totally callous. There are some guys in the biz I with whom I have become friendly, shared personal matters/successes/struggles, offered counsel, and helped through tough spots, but that's because they and I were mutually invested in each other's well-being. I never assume that to be true about some one I have only met one or two times.

 

I hope you click better with your next companion choice.

[corndog]

I'll repeat what Despardo said: "This has nothing to do with you." I think that it's possible that the escort that shared his relationship problems with you is embarrassed about what he said. It's also possible that while the two of them were hashing out their issues, he revealed that he had confided in you, and his boyfriend was hurt by that, and asked him not to do that again.

 

Open relationships are tricky. Each one has different boundaries. In some relationships, physical connections are are fine, but emotional connections outside the relationship are out-of-bounds.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

Then a bit later on in the session he goes into their whole relationship issues with me... Needless to say the mood was blown for me...

I had a similar experience with a forum favorite. Escorting was at the heart of his conflict with his (escort) boyfriend and was damaging him emotionally. No way could I ask him deliver the promised experience. All I could do was listen to his sorrows. Then I tried to cheer him up, paid his full fee, and left. I thought he'd be leaving the biz, but his ad is still up. Walking wounded. A sad memory.

[marylander1940]

I wanted to see if this was normal...

 

I began seeing escorts fairly recently and started with the most well reviewed. Unbeknownst to me at first, I end up seeing a couple who both escorts. I realized it when they gave me the same incall address. I think I saw one guy once, and the other 3 times. The second guy mentioned that he knew I saw his BF once. He said they discuss their clients all the time. I didn't know what to make of that comment. Then a bit later on in the session he goes into their whole relationship issues with me, as they had a fight before I arrived. Needless to say the mood was blown for me, and the escort ultimately was so mentally preoccupied by the earlier BF fight he couldn't perform. So I ended the session and to his credit the escort didn't try and charge me. I haven't hired anyone since that encounter due to some dating.

 

Anyway, the past few months I keep running into this escort couple out and about together socially. I play it really cool and say just hello. I don't linger or try and chat them or the people they are with up. Knowing that they know who I am and that I have been with both of them, I expected them to be equally chill about the situation.

 

Thinking all was cool, I tried to set up a session with one of them again recently. And I didn't get a response at all. And usually I got a warm hello and immediate responses. I didn't think anything of it, thinking maybe he'd get back to me later that day or the next. Just to say he was busy that weekend or something. However, I never got a reply.

 

Here's my question or issue....

 

So after no response to my earlier communication I see them a few days later and they literally look me in the eye at a party and then walk right past me! Suddenly they both acted like they didn't know me!

 

Is that to be expected? I was a good client and I actually had great sessions with both and tipped them each time. Now they act like I did something wrong to them.

 

No it's not normal, but I guess when escorts live together or share a room while on the road, they do talk about the clients they see.

Certainly it's bad for business, I understand gossiping/sharing information as something inevitable: "do you know the guy who lives on x St and has a fat cat?" but why in hell did one of them told you he knows you also see his bf in his place. Not pretty!

 

http://aprilsims.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/sometimes-it-pays-to-keep-your-mouth-shut.jpg

 

I would have told them at that social gathering: "you suck old men dicks for a living? Drop the attitude.

 

http://www.gifwave.com/media/10657_nicki-minaj-sassy-attitude.gif

 

http://31.media.tumblr.com/42ceebea3a5be2ef86cbd2c7314abd38/tumblr_mrkw9wuoJf1qcm0m3o1_500.gif

[+ Gar1eth]

It may not even have to do with the fact that you've seen both of them. Maybe it's the fact that you have seen them in social settings. If they prefer to keep business and their private lives separate, it may be awkward for them if you keep running into them.

 

Gman

[whipped guy]

I find it interesting that both escorts are referenced as being among the "most well reviewed". I woild assume that means that they are good at performing between the sheets It probably does not necessarily mean that they have the appropriate people skills for when they are not on the clock. In fact from what you imply at least one if them didn't even have the requisite people skills when on the job. I've run into such types on occasion. Some folks are good at what they do, but not necessarily how they go about doing it.

 

As far as seeing them in social settings, that is not really your problem. If they can't deal with the situation, that's no fault of yours. I would not loose any sleep over either of them.

[+ purplekow]

I find it interesting that both escorts are referenced as being among the "most well reviewed". I woild assume that means that they are good at performing between the sheets It probably does not necessarily mean that they have the appropriate people skills for when they are not on the clock. In fact from what you imply at least one if them didn't even have the requisite people skills when on the job. I've run into such types on occasion. Some folks are good at what they do, but not necessarily how they go about doing it.

 

As far as seeing them in social settings, that is not really your problem. If they can't deal with the situation, that's no fault of yours. I would not loose any sleep over either of them.

The next time you run into them, I would ask if you could speak to them for a second. In that second I would ask if they were interested in keeping you as a client. If the answer is yes then set up a date and forget about it. If it is no, say thanks for sex, it was totally adequate and move on.

[marylander1940]

It may not even have to do with the fact that you've seen both of them. Maybe it's the fact that you have seen them in social settings. If they prefer to keep business and their private lives separate, it may be awkward for them if you keep running into them.

 

Gman

 

They are not even interested in taking the client's money...

 

"Anyway, the past few months I keep running into this escort couple out and about together socially. I play it really cool and say just hello. I don't linger or try and chat them or the people they are with up. Knowing that they know who I am and that I have been with both of them, I expected them to be equally chill about the situation.

 

Thinking all was cool, I tried to set up a session with one of them again recently. And I didn't get a response at all. And usually I got a warm hello and immediate responses. I didn't think anything of it, thinking maybe he'd get back to me later that day or the next. Just to say he was busy that weekend or something. However, I never got a reply..."

it wouldn't hurt them to be nice and say hello like they used to do, it's not much of an effort, unless the client (OP) is so old and they're so hot and young, they (escorts) don't want to be even considered to be socializing with someone like that.

 

Attitude is always bad for business.

 

I just wonder if those 2 escorts show their faces in their ads or they're very discreet, if they do I'm sure a lot of guys in the gay community wouldn't like to friend them.

[Nebost]

I think it is especially dissapointing to have things not go well with an escort who is extremely well reviewed, who everyone else gushes about. You will wonder why wasn't I treated well, or why would they refuse to see me again? I think the most important thing here is to move on. They already have. There is nothing else to be gained here, so make some happy new memories with some new escorts or hookups. Don't make yourself suffer by wondering what you did to deserve this, whether it was fair to you, it is likely not about you at all. Again, there is nothing to be gained.

[whipped guy]

I think it is especially dissapointing to have things not go well with an escort who is extremely well reviewed, who everyone else gushes about. You will wonder why wasn't I treated well, or why would they refuse to see me again? I think the most important thing here is to move on. They already have. There is nothing else to be gained here, so make some happy new memories with some new escorts or hookups. Don't make yourself suffer by wondering what you did to deserve this, whether it was fair to you, it is likely not about you at all. Again, there is nothing to be gained.

DITTO! Definitely time to move on.

 

Regarding the "well reviewed" part. I think that many have been with the so-called "well reviewed" and have scratched their heads wondering what all the friggin fuss was all about. In fact one well reviewed guy actually acted exactly 180 degrees opposite to the way he had been described in his reviews, and it began the first few seconds that he entered the room. Since we had never met previously and I had done everything in my power to accommodate him and his schedule I was a bit taken aback. It was not a bad time by any stretch of the imagination. However, since the guy was charging "well reviewed rates and thought he was worth it" I decided to not repeat.

 

A person's attitude and demeanor says a lot about them in spite of other talents that they might possess. That goes for all professions, not just the oldest!

[+ purplekow]

I would suggest a negative review for the episode that led to your asking him to leave. Unless I miss my guess as to his identity, his reputation is very solid, and I believe deservedly so, but I would not hesitate to add a dissenting review to the a member of the A list. It may make you feel better and it is a way of letting them know, if they haven't figured it out yet, that they made you felt less than.

[+ Gar1eth]

I would suggest a negative review for the episode that led to your asking him to leave. Unless I miss my guess as to his identity, his reputation is very solid, and I believe deservedly so, but I would not hesitate to add a dissenting review to the a member of the A list. It may make you feel better and it is a way of letting them know, if they haven't figured it out yet, that they made you felt less than.

 

Would you still write the review when the escort realized he wasn't performing as he should and didn't charge nyblkguy for the session. I'm not saying I disagree with you. I'm indecisive on it.

 

Gman

[+ WmClarke]

I'm guessing it's all compounded by the fact that one of them told you details about the couple's recent fight.

 

If the other guy found out his partner discussed their problem(s) with a mutual client, it seems plausible to me they would both avoid you on public: the escort who told you about he fight now avoids you because his boyfriend is mad about what you were told (and maybe also mad that he didn't bring home his pay!); the other escort is embarrassed that you know about the fight even though it's his own darn fault.

 

The easiest way to "repair" the dysfunctional relationship? Pretend that you are the problem.

[Juan Vancouver]

I would have told them at that social gathering: "you suck old men dicks for a living? Drop the attitude.

 

They are not even interested in taking the client's money...

 

I just wonder if those 2 escorts show their faces in their ads or they're very discreet, if they do I'm sure a lot of guys in the gay community wouldn't like to friend them.

 

Wow! I must confess that I was really grossed out reading your posts.

 

I guess slut-shaming, hooker-shaming and client-shaming is the order of the day. In a single elegant swoop you managed to reduce most of the people of this board into money hungry despicable automatons or old, ugly, otherwise unfuckable drones.

 

I hardly think it's the best idea to confront someone in public with such offensive vitriol, especially when the victim is a pair of young, strong, ostensibly volatile men.

 

It might escape you that using your logic you are reducing yourself to the bottom of the pile. According to your logic, nobody in the gay community would be friends with the whores, and the whores would not be friends with you, when in reality nobody really gives a shit what anyone does for a living or who they fuck; what people mostly give a shit about is what kind of person you are, how you relate to others and yourself, and how you make them feel.

 

Reading your post made me feel really sad and a little sick. =( At this moment, this is what defines my relationship and opinion of you, not the fact that you are client, not your age, not your sex appeal.

 

Being an escort, being a client, being a homosexual man, being a sexually active person is beautiful. Nobody should ever feel ashamed of that. There are hideously worse things to do or be.

 

And a lot of people know what I do for a living. many want to be my friends. Some don't. I think it's exactly the same for everyone.

[instudiocity]

Wow! I must confess that I was really grossed out reading your posts.

 

I guess slut-shaming, hooker-shaming and client-shaming is the order of the day. In a single elegant swoop you managed to reduce most of the people of this board into money hungry despicable automatons or old, ugly, otherwise unfuckable drones.

You sir are the gentleman amongst us assholes.

[+ purplekow]

Would you still write the review when the escort realized he wasn't performing as he should and didn't charge nyblkguy for the session. I'm not saying I disagree with you. I'm indecisive on it.

 

Gman

You take a shower. You light a few candles. You envision a passionate sexual encounter with a muscular sexy man. You take a Viagra (just to be sure) You get an earful of "he doesn't understand me" and a cold shower. Yeah, even for free, that gets a bad review. If you were married and he came home in the same situation and all he did was complain about the job, he would be sleeping on the couch and I might be considering calling a lawyer.

[Nebost]

I would suggest a negative review for the episode that led to your asking him to leave. Unless I miss my guess as to his identity, his reputation is very solid, and I believe deservedly so, but I would not hesitate to add a dissenting review to the a member of the A list. It may make you feel better and it is a way of letting them know, if they haven't figured it out yet, that they made you felt less than.

 

If an escort had a really bad day ,and then declined to be paid, for me that shows integrity. Everyone has a really bad day once in a while, and that is clearly the case here. You had several great sessions with the guy, then one where obviously he was not doing well and did not accept payment ...I'm not so sure I'd write a bad review. I give people the benefit of the doubt when they had been good to me multiple times previously, especially since he acknowledged this was a 'one off' by refusing payment.

 

That said, I am sorry they no longer acknowledge you , I would find that hurtful myself since I, like you , try to be a good client and think I am aware of what constitutes good decorum. On the other hand, consider that

1. It is likely the decision is about their relationship, it is not about you

2. Escorts can stop seeing us, just as we stop seeing them, for personal reasons, whatever they might be. An explanation is always nice but not required. If an escort stops responding to a client because the client likes his sex too rough , is too clingy, or too inquisitive about the escorts personal life, does he really need to tell that to the client? That's quite awkward. There are valid reasons for ceasing communications, some left better unspoken IMO. Not attributing any of this to the OP, just using examples.

 

Perhaps you should write the guy you saw multiple times an email . Hopefully you get a explanation that is satisfactory. If not , think of the non-response as closure anyway.

[whipped guy]

I would suggest a negative review for the episode that led to your asking him to leave. Unless I miss my guess as to his identity, his reputation is very solid, and I believe deservedly so, but I would not hesitate to add a dissenting review to the a member of the A list. It may make you feel better and it is a way of letting them know, if they haven't figured it out yet, that they made you felt less than.

I have a feeling that others have guessed likewise. Just a hunch!

 

In any event, submitting a negative review might make the OP feel better, but then again it might not. That's a decision for the OP to make. An email to the escort in question as was also suggested might help resolve things, but then might not.

 

Given the situation as I understand it, I still say that's it's time to simply move on. There's obviously some sort of lack of a comfort zone with the escorts in question and they are signaling that fact. It's totally in their court. Something tells me these guys have really floated the OP's boat and that's part of the difficulty.

 

Bottom line: nobody is absolutely indispensable. There is a vast ocean full of guys out there. Eventually others will be able to float the OP's boat and then some.

[Kenny]

Wow! I must confess that I was really grossed out reading your posts.

 

I guess slut-shaming, hooker-shaming and client-shaming is the order of the day. In a single elegant swoop you managed to reduce most of the people of this board into money hungry despicable automatons or old, ugly, otherwise unfuckable drones.

 

I hardly think it's the best idea to confront someone in public with such offensive vitriol, especially when the victim is a pair of young, strong, ostensibly volatile men.

 

It might escape you that using your logic you are reducing yourself to the bottom of the pile. According to your logic, nobody in the gay community would be friends with the whores, and the whores would not be friends with you, when in reality nobody really gives a shit what anyone does for a living or who they fuck; what people mostly give a shit about is what kind of person you are, how you relate to others and yourself, and how you make them feel.

 

Reading your post made me feel really sad and a little sick. =( At this moment, this is what defines my relationship and opinion of you, not the fact that you are client, not your age, not your sex appeal.

 

Being an escort, being a client, being a homosexual man, being a sexually active person is beautiful. Nobody should ever feel ashamed of that. There are hideously worse things to do or be.

 

And a lot of people know what I do for a living. many want to be my friends. Some don't. I think it's exactly the same for everyone.

 

Well said. Slut-shaming = self-loathing. That's sad.