what is meant by "The Boy Friend Experience"?

[+ glennnn]

I'm a 70 YO newbie who recently enjoyed his first time with an escort. I need a quick education in the terminology, courtesies and procedures of this new world. This forum is really helping, but I have some questions. The first is, what exactly is " the boyfriend experience"?

[mike carey]

There is no 'exactly', I would say to start with, and I haven't had it yet, BUT. Just imagine you were in love. A BFE is what you would expect to have with the guy you are in love with, no pressure to do things but no pressure to refrain from things. Just you and him being playful and playing with each other's bodies. Now, I'm waiting for others to howl me down but I don't know how they can!

[mike carey]

Oh, and if your boyfriend had more sexual experience than you had, you would expect him to push your limits of what you wanted to do, and potentially to blow your mind!!

[+ glennnn]

Thanks, Mike. Good start. I was thinking it had to do with the sex roles. Are you saying it is more a matter of affection and connection? I'm asking because this term is used so often and I want to know what I am asking for.

[mike carey]

It's not sex roles, it is affection and connection, but remember that with an escort you are paying them for the affection and connection, what they do is not real except while you are paying them. Once the paid time is over so is their affection. But while you are paying they will give you that BFE, or they will amp it up. Talk to your escort, have him engage with vanilla play, or ask him to do things you had never dreamt of.

[liubit]

Mike has it right. A boyfriend experience is like a romantic date, with affection, connection, kissing, cuddling, etc. And, yes, enjoy it while it lasts because, like with Cinderella, everything turns into a pumpkin the moment the escort walks out your door....

[+ honcho]

you are paying them for the affection and connection, what they do is not real except while you are paying them. Once the paid time is over so is their affection. .

 

I'm not sure that the affection is unreal, or that it necessarily ceases when the session is ended, but escorts are making their

living as companions, and when you're not paying them, they have to be with somebody else.

 

Some guys have really big hearts, (and can feel genuine affection and caring for many), but there are only so many hours in the day.

[Rudynate]

Mike has it right. A boyfriend experience is like a romantic date, with affection, connection, kissing, cuddling, etc. And, yes, enjoy it while it lasts because, like with Cinderella, everything turns into a pumpkin the moment the escort walks out your door....

 

 

Not entirely. I savor the experience for awhile afterward. But always be mindful that your relationship with the escort is fundamentally a business relationship and that he is a service provider.

[mike carey]

I'm not sure that the affection is unreal, or that it necessarily ceases when the session is ended, but escorts are making their living as companions, and when you're not paying them, they have to be with somebody else.

Some guys have really big hearts, (and can feel genuine affection and caring for many), but there are only so many hours in the day.

You're quite right Honcho, some escorts may well love you when you stop paying, and they may really like you, but you need to work on the assumption that it is all over when you stop paying.

[+ glennnn]

Thanks, guys. This is a nicely balanced view, and I am appreciative of your concern that the relationship be kept in perspective. I also see that I DO want to seek the boyfriend experience, because open affection and honest male to male connection is a large part of what I seek as a closeted man. Just to feel free to touch another guy is wonderful. I grew up in a much more repressive age, where affection between men, even if not sexually motivated, was suspect. Is it too late for me to fill this need?

[Rudynate]

Thanks, guys. This is a nicely balanced view, and I am appreciative of your concern that the relationship be kept in perspective. I also see that I DO want to seek the boyfriend experience, because open affection and honest male to male connection is a large part of what I seek as a closeted man. Just to feel free to touch another guy is wonderful. I grew up in a much more repressive age, where affection between men, even if not sexually motivated, was suspect. Is it too late for me to fill this need?

 

I actually feel a lot freer to explore an escort's body and take liberties with him that I don't necessarily feel otherwise. They just tend to make themselves really available.

[TruthBTold]

Glennn, you may just have to remember that you may not find the person that finds the looked-for affection with the first man you hire. I needed to go some practice rounds but I learned things with each different guy I was with. I became more comfortable with myself and with each other guy and I think that the more comfortable I became the more open the escort became. Then for some reason out of the blue I found a guy I was totally comfortable with and developed a deep affection for. That developed into terrific sexual encounters. I saw him a lot. Tho the affection always remained, my mind knew that his affection was being paid for and might or might not end.

[+ glennnn]

Rudynate

Yes, being with an escort (based on one experience so far) is physically much more free. What was so special for me was talking about the beauty and glory of men FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, a life full of unexpressed love for men and longing to express it. To just be able to say aloud, "You are wonderful!" Much less, "I love your cock!"

[+ glennnn]

TruthBTold,

 

God, I hope you are right. My one session with a great guy in LA was wonderful. He was generous, tender and forceful by turns, and we talked for over an hour. ( is it permitted for me to give him a shout out here?) I know it is too late to exit the closet, nor do I want to, but I do hope to drain some of the pain and be the real me once in a while. Thanks for the encouragement.

[bobchitown]

Not entirely. I savor the experience for awhile afterward. But always be mindful that your relationship with the escort is fundamentally a business relationship and that he is a service provider.

 

Well yes. But I've certainly connected with people who I'm still in contact with, exchange emails once in awhile, life events, etc. the "good ones"'are truly great guys. Even so, I've never expected close ongoing relationships, but friendship is not impossible.

[+ glennnn]

Sure, why not? Don't we all have friends we care about from our previous life experiences- school, jobs, clubs, neighborhoods? This connection should be filled with the same satisfaction, happiness and pleasure, ideally.

[Rudynate]

Well yes. But I've certainly connected with people who I'm still in contact with, exchange emails once in awhile, life events, etc. the "good ones"'are truly great guys. Even so, I've never expected close ongoing relationships, but friendship is not impossible.

 

I am on friendly terms with a number of guys in just the way you describe. If the relationship didn't involve sex, I would consider these relationships acquaintances or possibly casual friends. It's nice being on friendly terms with an escort you see periodically. It's a unique kind of familiarity that just feels nice. There's one I even text regularly because he indicated that it was OK with him. I like it. But I don't think that makes us BFFs or that it means he likes me so much that he would want to see me other than professionally.

[BabyBoomer]

Hey Glen, Who was the escort? Just his name. Don't give any details about the session.

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ glennnn]

Nate in LA.

[+ glennnn]

I am on friendly terms with a number of guys in just the way you describe. If the relationship didn't involve sex, I would consider these relationships acquaintances or possibly casual friends. It's nice being on friendly terms with an escort you see periodically. It's a unique kind of familiarity that just feels nice. There's one I even text regularly because he indicated that it was OK with him. I like it. But I don't think that makes us BFFs or that it means he likes me so much that he would want to see me other than professionally.

 

I hear you, and as I re-read what I wrote I realize I sound too eager. Put it down to enthusiasmfor a new activity, a really fun activity, in fact. I had such a good experience in LA that it made me giddy. I will likely try a different escort next time.

[Rudynate]

I hear you, and as I re-read what I wrote I realize I sound too eager. Put it down to enthusiasmfor a new activity, a really fun activity, in fact. I had such a good experience in LA that it made me giddy. I will likely try a different escort next time.

 

It's a fabulous, wholesome pastime that can have globally beneficial effects. I don't do it much, but I get a lot of benefit from it.

[Guy Fawkes]

(darn, already used my joke allocation for the day)

[TruHart1]

Rudynate

Yes, being with an escort (based on one experience so far) is physically much more free. What was so special for me was talking about the beauty and glory of men FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, a life full of unexpressed love for men and longing to express it. To just be able to say aloud, "You are wonderful!" Much less, "I love your cock!"

 

It was the exact same for me with my first escort and remains so now, after nearly five years of hiring. It actually is exciting to me being able to revel in male beauty and sensuousness. I love the freedom of praising a great and beautiful man, "You are so beautiful, I adore your amazing ass, I love your gorgeous, hard, thick dick, etc." These kinds of statements were something I never felt free about expressing when just hooking up with a man, for some reason! Now, I do tend to gush when I'm with a hot escort and I love the freedom I feel when my compliments are such that the man I'm with may even become a bit embarrassed by my enthusiasm!!! ;)

 

This is another reason I'm addicted to this hobby so much!!!

 

TruHart1

[+ glennnn]

It was the exact same for me with my first escort and remains so now, after nearly five years of hiring. It actually is exciting to me being able to revel in male beauty and sensuousness. I love the freedom of praising a great and beautiful man, "You are so beautiful, I adore your amazing ass, I love your gorgeous, hard, thick dick, etc." These kinds of statements were something I never felt free about expressing when just hooking up with a man, for some reason! Now, I do tend to gush when I'm with a hot escort and I love the freedom I feel when my compliments are such that the man I'm with may even become a bit embarrassed by my enthusiasm!!! ;)

 

This is another reason I'm addicted to this hobby so much!!!

 

TruHart1

Oh Yes! My recent session with my marvelous escort in LA was my first romantic interaction with a man in 40 years. After decades of screening every word through a straight filter, I was gushing a little, too. Pun intended.

[tedbear]

I realize I sound too eager.

 

Not at all. Sometimes after I schedule a travelling escort days in advance of his arrival, I'm practically beside myself awaiting his arrival, especially if he's someone I've seen before and really hit it off with. I can think of one time in particular with a guy who I know who likes to sit and talk when he first gets to your place, but I'm afraid this one time I was so giddy in anticipation that I practically ripped his clothes off him as he came in the door.