HOOVILLE MEETINGS? :(

[VaHawk]

Would someone please explain the advantages of such meetings, whether they are in LA, Chicago, NYC, DC or any other locale?

 

I can understand that people who communicate on an internet board would like to hook up in an outside venue, but I really have problems with the effect on the board of such meetings. I can only imagine that the only people welcome at such meetings would be those who often agree on subject matters, etc. and escorts working the local market.

 

IMO, knowing the other regular posters on an internet message board, would stymie the free communications between those posters. How could a board member feel free to express his true feelings, if he really likes another poster personally? Wouldn’t such mutual like/respect temper the free spirit of the purpose of the board?

 

I’m probably out of line, but really, nothing personal, I DON’T want to know any of you personally, one on one, unless you are an escort! I would be way too much inhibited to express my opinions, if I knew you personally and in turn, had to curb the enthusiasm of my responses because I knew you and liked you and didn’t want to cause waves.

 

The only result of all these “feel good” Hooville meetings, imo, would be to turn this site into a very cliquish , self-serving site of judgmental people, that would stifle free expression.

[Guest JustStarting]

VaHawk--

I've never attended a meeting (they're never scheduled a time I could come), but I'd like to. I don't understand your objections. I recognize that you often delight in, shall we say, lively and pointed notes on the message board, but it's hard for me to understand why getting to know someone stiffles communication. Yes it might inhibit nasty, uncalled for ad hominem attacks, but so what. When you meet someone misunderstandings are more easily corrected, and if one really finds a friend, communication is enhanced, not stiffled.

 

I also don't understand why you think that friendship inhibits honest expression. I have many honest, vigorous debates with close friends--especially about politics, current events and so on.

 

I'd love, for example, to spend an hour with Mr. Munroe to tell him how wrong his admiration for Howard Dean is. I bet he'd love to tell me how wrong my ideas about Iraq and 9/11 are. I bet afterwards, we'd depart, not as enemies but as two human beings who'd exchanged ideas and hopes and fears. I'd even go so far as to predict that a "professional" session with the Mr. Munroe would be better after such an exchange!

[foxy]

I've always enjoyed meeting members of this board and never felt like it inhibited communication after getting to know them. I don't think you have to be anonymous to be honest in what you believe in.

[jackhammer91406]

Different drummer

 

Well hey buddy, if it doesn't appeal to you then don't go. You've had your say. You don't see the value or interest. Fine. Different strokes. But apparently you must pass judgment on those who are interested in meeting up in the real world. that's cool, judge all you want. As far as a detriment to the board, I don't see it, and IMO there's little danger that anyone else could have a more negative impact one way or another. Sorry buddy, that's just my opinion. If you were trying to start a flame war, that's all you're getting out of me tonight.

 

Anyway, enjoyed seeing the guys tonight, and the eye candy was fun to watch. Glad to meet the visiting professional.

 

[VaHawk]

RE: Different drummer

 

I'm not passing judgement, I'm not being negative, and I'm not trying to start a flame war. I'm just stating an opinion and asking an honest question. SORRY, that you good buddy, can't see it that way!

[+ Hoover42]

On september 28 of last year, you posted that you would like participate in a DC get-together.

 

http://babydb.male4malescorts.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=57455&mesg_id=57455&listing_type=search

 

Why the change of heart?

 

...Hoover

[JamesK840]

HOOVILLE MEETINGS... :o)!

 

I'm fairly certain he's also previously posted his apprehension about the meetings and specifically attacked LA members for meeting...

 

As I say in every posting about an LA meeting, "Everyone is welcome!". I don't think we've ever had a member (one that actually joined the group--I think one person showed up but was very shy and never came over) that didn't have fun, and almost all non-visitors have come back. The fact that there are usually visitors (client or working) and that most of the LA regulars travel so much that we're not ever all there at once, I think, helps keep it from becoming clique-ish, and helps us all to share experiences or advice we may not want to post in an open forum.

 

It's also great to get out from behind a keyboard and actually get to know people with similar interests, as well as have new experiences. He should try it sometime. Since he hasn't I don't think his opinion on everybody's meetings counts for much, but that's just my opinion.

[giovoni]

God help us all if we get to know each other and <gasp> have to consider each others' feelings when posting our opinions on the board.

 

 

Gio in Denver

 

"Never Argue with a Fool---Those around you may not notice the Difference"

[BARR1965]

RE: HOOVILLE MEETINGS... :o)!

 

>It's also great to get out from behind a keyboard and actually

>get to know people with similar interests, as well as have new

>experiences.

 

Thanks to LA Hooville!! I was once a lurker but I did get out behind the keyboard .... And I am enjoying it. Live a little and Joie de vivre

[Flower]

> How could a board member feel free to express his

>true feelings, if he really likes another poster personally?

>Wouldn’t such mutual like/respect temper the free spirit of

>the purpose of the board?

Well, if you really mean "true feelings" then knowing someone shouldn't stop you from so expressing, unless you have serious, SERIOUS security issues.

 

On the otherhand, if you mean it might inhibit you from responding like an asshole and go off the deep end for no apparent reason, then I can see how knowing someone here might inhibit that:+

[BARR1965]

RE: Different drummer

 

>Anyway, enjoyed seeing the guys tonight, and the eye candy

>was fun to watch. Glad to meet the visiting professional.

 

The dinner was good, the company were great but the dessert was to die for .. yum yum :9 :9 and I don't eat much dessert either

[+ deej]

>IMO, knowing the other regular posters on an internet message

>board, would stymie the free communications between those

>posters. How could a board member feel free to express his

>true feelings, if he really likes another poster personally?

>Wouldn’t such mutual like/respect temper the free spirit of

>the purpose of the board?

 

IMO, what you're really telling us is you'd be too chicken-shit to defend your words if said in person. ;-)

 

As far as I'm concerned, this message center is no different than any other social interaction: meeting for drinks, going to a movie, meeting with an escort, or chatting around the office water cooler. If you don't feel comfortable saying something in person, you probably shouldn't be saying it here.

 

If anything, remarks should be considered with extra care in a written form to avoid being misconstrued. (That's why we put exactly that plea in the MC rules.) Otherwise, your remarks can't be taken seriously because you lack the conviction to stand behind them and are posting with the sole purpose of inciting flames. That, pal, is the definition of an internet troll.

[jackhammer91406]

Another perspective

 

VA Hawk,

 

I have re-read your original post and I want to respond to a few of your specific points as well as give a general overview of my opinion.

People develop friendships with others who have similar interests, likes & dislikes. These similarities are often what draw people together. Believe it or not, the times that we have gathered out here in L.A., we often talk about subjects other than escorts and having sex. (Well, if Tomcal is there, we have to table any talk outside the sex realm until he brings us up to date on his activities. )

We talk about politics, current events, the cute guy walking by our table (oh, yeah, that's sex again. If Funseeker is present, we often have to grab him off the cute guy walking by our table).

 

We have had a chance to meet others with similar interest who are visiting from out of town, as well as our newest member , who had silently read the board, but never posted or met up with others on the board. In this vein, the value of meeting up with people in RW can't be overstated. For some who visit this MC, their life is closed off from other gay guys. I myself didn't have a single gay friend until I started interacting with guys on this MC (Thanks Tomcal for drawing me out of my self imposed shell, and to the L.A. escort who offered to meet with me for many lunches, just to talk). This has been a major blessing for me. While my posts haven't always met with agreement, I still felt free to express my opinions.

 

As to specifics:

 

Like some of the other responders to your original post, I don't think anyone would be able to make a case for discrimination in who is welcome at a meeting and who isn't. When I went to New York last year (where this whole thing started) and posted a desire to meet some of the locals in New York while I was in the Big Apple, there was no litmus test of who I wanted to meet. My hope was that there would be interest on anyone's part to meet up. I did meet some great guys in New York. Did we agree on every subject? No. Some of them are even Republicans! <gasp>

 

In the year that has passed since then, I have been chided, blasted , and praised by some of those same guys I met (and still like). I think that shows that no one checks their freedom of thought and expression at the door when they come to these meetings.

 

I want to say right now, that I would personally enjoy meeting and exchanging ideas with you on a variety of subjects. But I would also want you to feel free to be UNINHIBITED and enthusiastic in the expression of your opinions. That is the basis for a true friendship; the ability to exchange ideas and enjoy mutual interests without fear of reprisal. You would have to be the judge of whether you could be comfortable doing that. I hope that you would, because I would love to visit D.C. I guess I am not the only person here who has had friends who have done stupid things in their lives and needed a good Friend to point that out to them. You do that for friends and they do it for you, because that's what friends do.

 

On the subject of anonymity, there is something to be said for having the freedom to express any opinion, popular or not. But I think secure minded individuals can do that as well without the safety of anonymity, so I don't have a problem if someone disagrees with me.

 

If there's any truth to having cliques here, those were in place long before the meetings started. I don't think the meetings affect that either way, and besides, where is the problem with that? If client "X" posts a slam on "escort Y" , we know that "poster's A,B, and C" are coming out swinging, right? Is that because someone had a meeting? NOPE.

 

As for the FEEL GOOD aspects of any meetings, if you don't feel good after you have met some friends for a good dinner and nice conversation, I would be skeptical of the value as well. But honestly, I think that you might enjoy getting to know some of the guys you have seen and interacted with here in the MC. They might also enjoy meeting and learning from you as well. I know I would.

 

Anyway, those are my thoughts as of this morning. I reserve the right to revise and extend my remarks.

Without objection, it is so ordered.

 

 

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Curb Your Enthusiasm

 

>I’m probably out of line, but really, nothing personal, I

>DON’T want to know any of you personally, one on one, unless

>you are an escort! I would be way too much inhibited to

>express my opinions, if I knew you personally and in turn, had

>to curb the enthusiasm of my responses because I knew you and

>liked you and didn’t want to cause waves.

 

Like many other voluntarily activities, it is likely that the Los Angeles meetings have taken off a bit more than any others due to the time and energy of James, who has taken it upon himself to both promote and organize them. It takes this kind of effort by one or more dedicated people in any group to make it a going concern. That said, the other members who come, I believe, do so for the same reasons I have met men from this site who are clients, just not clients of mine, in my travels. I think there is a certain healthy curiousity, a certain desire to expand the interaction beyond the written word, and the normal, human desire for socialization.

 

Finally, it is always possible to disagree respectfully and to both appreciate someone while expressing a difference of opinion. It simply requires tact, consideration and forethought, something all of us could use on here, whether or not we personally know one another.

[JamesK840]

Thank you, thank you...

 

Wow, this was unexpected (unfolds speech)... :+

 

Actually, Jack and several other regulars all help, but the heart of our meetings has to be BGP who helps with the venue (and faces Tony's wrath at Numbers... if he doesn't recognize the name Hooville just ask for "the group that never has the number of people they say they'll have" and he'll know exactly who you mean!) and goes well above and beyond to see that there is some kind of door-prize at many regular meetings.

 

And we're still waiting for you to make an appearance at a meeting...

[Guest Tomcal_]

I debated about responding to this discussion, because I am not sure VaHawk, put it out there because he honestly believes what he wrote , or because he just wanted to start another little flame out! But I will give him benefit of the doubt... I have met members of this board in L.A., NYC, Orlando, San Francisco,London and of course Rio! It has been a enriching experiance for me. I am a social person, I have a very busy social life with quite a few gay and straight friends, so I wasn't looking for or needing to make contact with guys from this board because I needed some additional social outlet. What I did gain and contiue to gain from meeting guys from this venue is a chance to meet people who through my normal social contacts I probably would never have met, particulary in the "gay" world. My gay social group/friends in L.A. tend to be between 30 and 45 almost exclusively, through M4M this has been extended in both directions from late 20's to mid 60's (?), and I have gotten to know and really become good friends with several of the guys. Do I want to hang with everyone I have met? NOPE, but that is the same whether it's your group from work, your relatives or your neigbors! Some you really like, some are fine but you wouldn't want to hang with weekly and some, Once is enough! lol

Most situations where you become friends with someone is the result of having/sharing some common experiance that expands into friendship, like someone you work with, someone you share a hobby with and meet in organization, etc. So what would make meeting guys through a Hooville dinner so different in your mind? I have met fellow members of this board in London on two Ocassions, and many in Rio on most of the trips. It has been Fun, continues to be fun and I think maybe that old saying is true..."One can never have too many friends".

I realize some people are loners, who prefer to be solitary and not get close or be friends with others, maybe this describes you and that is why these get togethers seem so unfathomable to you. That is too bad. I hope you do make it out here for one of them, I think you just mind change your view.

btw, I read that post of yours from a year ago where you appeared to welcome a meeting in D.C., I also ask, why the change of heart if it wasn't just to get something started in a negative way??

Last Point, I have enjoyed many of your posts, mostly because they makes people think and do generate interest, I just don't understand why so often they are always set in a manner to appear negative or "knock" someone. Is that truely your nature, or are you truely posting what you believe as opposed to posting to create arugments, which on a message board is not necessarily a bad thing...

[VaHawk]

Yeah, I honestly believe what I wrote. And No! it wasn’t intended as a flame out. I was just very honestly curious as to why people on an internet chat room/message board would want to get together, as so far, this is the only message board I have encountered that encourages such meetings.

 

And Yes, I think such meetings would tend to swerve the mc from an honest free-for-all, lively discussion into a sort of clubhouse atmosphere, where one would be hesitant to disagree with one’s compatriots, because it might “upset” them.

 

Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt, as I had no intention of starting a flame war, or had any intention of criticism against others. I have met others who post here, and I totally respect them and am really glad that I met them. But in turn, I feel less inclined to disagree with what they say, and give them more leeway than I would someone that I don’t know personally. That is all I meant vis-à-vis a stymie of communications.

 

I totally respect everyone who posts here, and if they want to get to know each other personally, I think that is great. It just isn’t my scene, and if you want to call me a flame thrower or a troll, or whatever, I have no problem with that. Just because, I personally feel that way, does not make me an anti-social loner, a nasty person, a troll, an asshole or any other appellation that you wish to apply to me.

 

I appreciate not only your response, but the responses of every one else who replied to this thread. I sincerely wish you all the best, and will continue to enjoy your responses to threads in this forum.

[Funseeker 22]

To Tony at Numbers,

 

Table for one please.

Far away from those Strange Hooville People. They appear to be very rowdy and having far too much fun.

Thank You,

VH.:+ :+

[HooBoy]

Oh, it's the old Groucho Marx thing:

 

Why would anyone want to be a member of club that would have me?

 

Or was that Woody Allen?

 

Or Woody Harrelson?

 

Or HooBoy?

__

 

The above written as a regular guy, not the owner of a website and has no official meaning, just unofficial BS.)

__

 

--garbo the hoo