What's Your Earliest "I'm Queer" memory?

[TruHart1]

I guess male locker rooms have always been sexual places for me. After my young swimming pool locker room adventures, much later, in junior high, I had an assistant gym coach who was probably fresh out of college, maybe 23 to 25 years old! The words "brick shithouse" come to mind. As I recall, he was newly married (not sure how I heard that!) but I would actually dawdle getting my gym clothes off and heading to the shower so I could look into the coaches' office (it had glass on the upper half of the office wall on 3 sides) to see him turn around, peel off his running shorts, (they were short back then and he always taught in them) bend over, and then peel off his jockstrap, which he also always wore. I remember for the first time being fascinated with a man's butt and his was perfection. He would turn around and head to the shower and I'd check out his soft cock and that amazing undulating butt as he walked away. He was super masculine and became my main fantasy for many years when accessing my memory for my self-pleasuring private times!

 

TruHart1

[+ Gar1eth]

I guess male locker rooms have always been sexual places for me. After my young swimming pool locker room adventures, much later, in junior high, I had an assistant gym coach who was probably fresh out of college, maybe 23 to 25 years old! The words "brick shithouse" come to mind. As I recall, he was newly married (not sure how I heard that!) but I would actually dawdle getting my gym clothes off and heading to the shower so I could look into the coaches' office (it had glass on the upper half of the office wall on 3 sides) to see him turn around, peel off his running shorts, (they were short back then and he always taught in them) bend over, and then peel off his jockstrap, which he also always wore. I remember for the first time being fascinated with a man's butt and his was perfection. He would turn around and head to the shower and I'd check out his soft cock and that amazing undulating butt as he walked away. He was super masculine and became my main fantasy for many years when accessing my memory for my self-pleasuring private times!

 

TruHart1

 

 

Wow!!! Our gym coaches never showered for us.

 

 

Gman

[+ Keith30309]

An elementary school sleepover with curious gropes and peeks but I fell in love with Rob Lowe in St Elmo's Fire.

[bostonman]

I fell in love with Rob Lowe in St Elmo's Fire.

 

I fell for him a few years before that, in Class. But I was in college already...

[+ Gar1eth]

But once Andrew McCarthy slimmed down after Class, I fell in love with him!!

 

Gman

[bostonman]

But once Andrew McCarthy slimmed down after Class, I fell in love with him!!

 

Oh, I liked him in Class too.

[Tonyko]

Wow!!! Our gym coaches never showered for us.

Gman

 

MY HS coaches looked like the Dad on The Wonder Years lol NO fantasy there. BUT Mr. P a fresh out of college Mark Harmon look-alike math teacher was ALSO the boys track team coach. They met Thursdays same day as Glee Club (I know) and we rehearsed in the gym and I noticed 20 mins after all the boys would come out to leave after showering HE would come out with that tell-tale wet hair so he obvs would wait until they showered first. (our locker room was off the gym and had individual showers not prison style, like 8 cubicles in a row) I tried once or twice to time using the bathrrom in the locker room to catch a sight of him but failed. The last day before Thanksgiving break I timed it JUST right he was IN the shower. I must have taken out and put back in my dirty gym clothes from a locker a dozen times stalling until he came out, but I got to see him. (from afar) I remember being shocked at how hairy his chest and stomach was, and how small and hard his ass was. And he had great feet too. His dick was a lot smaller than I thought a dick on a grown man would be but I didn't care lol. Spent the rest of that year of Freshman Math staring at him up at the blackbaord with THAT picture in my head and DO remember getting hard under my desk.

[TruHart1]

Tony, that reminded me of my other hot teacher in HS, who taught both history and driver's ed. (Why are driver's ed teachers always so hunky?) I never saw him out of his clothes but he had that linebacker build, big muscles, pushing his white dress shirt to its limits, though not yet heading to fat. Well, he either wore loose boxers or no underwear at all because to this day I remember vividly how I could see the outline of what appeared to be his very large soft cock in his dress pants! It was always there, every day, and it became somewhat logistically difficult for me to get up and leave after history class because I'd almost always have a raging hard-on from day-dreaming about his impressive dick when the bell rang!!!

 

TruHart1

[+ José Soplanucas]

I'm in 3rd/4th grade, and have two moments I can share, although I can't recall the exact chronology:

1. I am watching a Spanish soap opera. I remember the "galán" was a Paraguayan actor very popular in Argentina. He drinks a loaded drink (the evil antagonist would use the same tactics that our beloved rapist in the news right now) and fell asleep. I got an immediate erection, but I did not know what was happening to me.

 

2. I dream that I was traveling in one of those Mississippi River steam boats, and meet Batman and Robin (Adam West B&R). I am the villain and take them and try to drawn them in the orange juice container on top boat bar counter. I wake up with a full erection without understanding what was going on.

[+ Gar1eth]

2. I dream that I was traveling in one of those Mississippi River steam boats, and meet Batman and Robin (Adam West B&R). I am the villain and take them and try to drawn them in the orange juice container on top boat bar counter. I wake up with a full erection without understanding what was going on.

 

You had a Vitamin C Deficiency!!!

 

Gman

[Nebost]

When I was four and my brother was seven, we each got a GI Joe for Xmas. Instinctively I took of all of their clothes (a 'Mattel' label where the good stuff was supposed to be...so dissappointing!), put them on my softest pillow, made them tangle up into one another, and put a blanket on top. My brother found them like that the next morning, and with a puzzled look, asked me...'What in the world are our GI Joes doing? Are they fighting?!". Well no, they're doing something much more worthwhile.

 

I was a very precocious little tot!

[chinolatino]

I remember there was a guy who a couple of streets from where i grew up from. he use to tan in his yard, in a speedo...it set my little ingnue heart a flutter. he was maybe 30 and i was in intermediate school, but he was soooo

hot to look at. i still can recall it like it happened yesterday...i wonder whatever happened to this guy

[Tonyko]

I remember there was a guy who a couple of streets from where i grew up from. he use to tan in his yard, in a speedo...it set my little ingnue heart a flutter. he was maybe 30 and i was in intermediate school, but he was soooo

hot to look at. i still can recall it like it happened yesterday...i wonder whatever happened to this guy

When we moved to the NYC burbs Freshman year of HS we had a pool and my brother who was 5 years older would have his buds over at night to carouse and swim and the rule was "show your face and I'll kick your ass" no one wants their lil bro hanging around so I'd stay in my room on the 2nd floor. But it overlooked the pool and right under my window would be these young hot Matt Dillon guys in various states of undress some would go in the pool in their white BVD's they drove me crazy. My Mom had given me her old instamatic (the kind you hada snap a flashcube onto) and I even TRIED to take flashless pix out my window of them all! (THRU the screen lol they didn't come out duh) Point is recently at a family wake there was a bunch of 50-ish balding paunchy guys w their wives etc and my brother takes me over and say you remember .... etc etc etc and THERE they were. WHATEVER happened to your speedo guy he's prolly best left in your memory

[whipped guy]

When we moved to the NYC burbs Freshman year of HS we had a pool and my brother who was 5 years older would have his buds over at night to carouse and swim and the rule was "show your face and I'll kick your ass" no one wants their lil bro hanging around so I'd stay in my room on the 2nd floor. But it overlooked the pool and right under my window would be these young hot Matt Dillon guys in various states of undress some would go in the pool in their white BVD's they drove me crazy. My Mom had given me her old instamatic (the kind you hada snap a flashcube onto) and I even TRIED to take flashless pix out my window of them all! (THRU the screen lol they didn't come out duh) Point is recently at a family wake there was a bunch of 50-ish balding paunchy guys w their wives etc and my brother takes me over and say you remember .... etc etc etc and THERE they were. WHATEVER happened to your speedo guy he's prolly best left in your memory

Reminds me of the reunion that was held a couple of years ago with a bunch of guys from our dorm floor in college. I was not able to attend due to a family emergency. However, they did send me pics of the event. Pics of all these one time hot guys about whom I often lusted. The only guy that I recognized was the Chinese guy! The others were all beer bellied, bald, and out of shape white guys. Interestingly, at the time I was more interested in getting my degree and was not at all into sports. These guys were all into athletics and were on the intramural basketball and hockey teams, etc. One was even a PE major and had a set of pecs to die for. Funny how now I'm the one in good shape... except for the somewhat lack of hair that is!

[fedssocr1]

WHATEVER happened to your speedo guy he's prolly best left in your memory

 

Certainly this is the truth. I'm still in touch with a bunch of my friends from growing up on Facebook. A couple of them have changed almost not at all. Most are unrecognizable. We have a reunion every 5 years and I recognize fewer people all the time of course. My biggest crush from 5th grade until graduation is some one I just recently tracked down on FB. I probably should have just kept him in my memory. He had the most perfectly shaped genitals (thank goodness for that one quarter of swimming in sophomore year gym class where everyone had to take a shower afterwards...) and such a hot body in HS.

[samandtham]

WHATEVER happened to your speedo guy he's prolly best left in your memory

 

Sigh, I hope I had read your advice earlier. I searched for the Abercrombie guy that I had the hots for in high school, on Facebook. He looks so different now: Beer belly, balding, terrible sense of dress.

 

I'm not really the type that looks back to the past that much, whether it's the life that I led or the loves that I had. But when I shared my earliest "I'm queer" memory, I got curious as to how he is doing a decade after I saw him last.

 

I was disappointed, for sure, but it wasn't like I was crushed--I knew for certain that the people I interacted with in high school will change, and only time will tell whether this is for the better or otherwise. In his case, time wasn't too kind to him.

 

The funny thing about nostalgia is that it rarely lives up to what people hope it would offer.

[Tonyko]

Sigh, I hope I had read your advice earlier..

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.

"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??

I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

[+ imagooddog]

ME: 4th Grade. IDK how old you are in 4th grade 10? I remember because the 4th grade classroom in my school was the only one at street level and faced 1st avenue. Right outside the window were some Con Ed or street worker guys working, and one young guy had his shirt off. He had a long 1980 shag haircut. And I remember CLEAR AS IF YESTERDAY, the Nun stopping the class and saying Mr. Baldini WHAT is so fascinating outside that window??? I had NO idea what I was feeling or why but "something" inside me told me I shouldn't tell the Sister I was looking at this guy. Something told me it was "wrong?" . I can't remember what I said or IF I said anything. BUT I remember the feeling crystal clear!

[+ imagooddog]

I don't know when first had a queer moment and recognised it as such, although in retrospect there were a few. I bought those body-building magazines but never for a moment associated what I saw with any form of sexual attraction, and generally managed the same dissociation between thinking about men's bodies and sexual attraction. I find it hard to believe myself now! I knew about poofters but thought of that as something about creepy old men (no, I hadn't met any) rather than something that might relate to 'normal people'. Something about growing up in a small town and being naïve: it's not that the place was homophobic, homosexuality just wasn't a thing to me. Realising that it actually was a thing and that it was part of me came slowly. Looking back I just didn't know what I was missing.

 

When I was about 12 years old I was in a movie theater on as Saturday afternoon, very few people there, I was in an end seat of about 4 seats in the row

with no other people around when an old man came and sat in the seat next to me but I did not think much about it at the time. Before long his

hand is on my dick, rubbing it but I was not old enough to be aroused much but I did know that it felt really good. After a while I got up and left.

Fast forward, to 15 years old, sexually mature now, jacking off all the time and still remembering how good it felt to have my dick felt of. I was in another

movie, many people around and got up to go to the bathroom. In the very last side row of 4 seats right by the entrance to the lobby there sat a good

looking guy,probably late twenties, and he really cruised me as I walked by. But as shy as I was, I got up the courage to come back in and sit in the

vacant seat beside him (no one else in the row). He soon crossed his left leg and let it rest in my right knee and started moving it around the rubbing

my leg with his hand. When the movie was over, outside, we talked. He was from a small town near by and came into our town about 2 times a month

and rented a cheap hotel room for the weekend. He asked me to come to his room and I did. WOW !!! This guy taught me all about gay sex. He had

a very large thick cut dick and wanted to fuck me but I would not let him. But he was very oral with him mouth and tongue, taught me about deep kissing

at which he was great but I would not suck him at first. (I still think about that dick and wish I had it now)

I gave him my phone number, he would come to town once or twice a month and we would meet. It was some of the best sex I have ever had.

[+ José Soplanucas]

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.

"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??

I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

I can relate to that, Tonyko. This isn't my first queer experience, but it is the longer lasting one. I have always been a lone hunter, never been or am interested in a committed, LTR, so my crushes tend to be very short. But there is one guy I met almost 30 years ago I still have a passionate relationship with. When I met him both of us were very young, and he was a street hustler. A breathtaking beautiful one. Our encounters would always involved some kind of transaction, not always money, maybe diner, a piece of clothing, a joint, something. We would not have anal sex, but the kissing was celestial. After a few months of meeting very often, he robbed me. I was very young and poor, so he just vanished without much, just a tape recorder and my weed while I was sleeping. After about one year, he reconnects begging me to see him. We meet, he brings some cash to pay for my goods (he was and is waaayyy below the poverty line), and explains to me that a friend of him was waiting for him outside, armed, and threatening to use his weapon if he did not leave my place with some valuables. Of course I did not know wether or not to believe him. But the chemistry was so strong that I gave him the benefit of doubt and we started a long process of reconciliation. He stopped asking for anything in exchange of sex and that year, as a birthday gift, he bottomed for me for the first time. We have been loyal friends and passionate lovers since then. He is married, has three children, and still when I am visiting Buenos Aires we spend together as much time as we can. I will be with him this very Thursday. He is not anymore the smoking hot stud he used to be, but when I meet with him the old passion just aroused. I am not even close to be young attractive guy I was, but he still freaks out when we are together. Right now I have a boner.

[bostonman]

I had mentioned my adolescent dalliances with my friend Tim, and I also had a few experiences with some other neighborhood boys. But it was the summer that I turned 16 that I finally started my 'education' with men older than me.

 

I was working downtown that summer, and one day I went alone to lunch at a local McDonald's. I was wearing a t-shirt advertising a small local weekly newspaper (a relative worked there) which had a personals section in the back. An older man (40's-ish?) came and sat next to me and started a conversation. He mentioned said newspaper, and the personals, and asked what I thought of that. He went further and asked what i thought of the ads that said "GWM" etc.

 

Ok, so it was obvious where he was going. I knew it - and well, I was too shy, only on an hour lunch break, and perhaps not attracted. And of course wary of him being a stranger. So I said something intellectual, like "people that want to place ads like that are ok by me, but I'm not like that" or something. And he took the hint, and that was that.

 

But sometimes I do think back and wonder - had I been more savvy about these things, and more adventurous/interested, maybe we would have wound up having a good time. Or maybe I did the right thing.

 

But something else was going on too. Something that would really change my life for the next few years. I must have overheard a conversation that insinuated that men were using the restroom at the library downtown as a cruising spot. I went to that library fairly often, but never for that, lol. But, that summer, I tried hanging out there and daring myself to see what would happen. I might describe some of my adventures in another post, but suffice to say that that summer I began an interest in "tearoom" sex that would continue into my college years before I finally stopped doing it. When I started, it was 1980, AIDS was unknown, and security around that restroom and a few others I tried was fairly lax - when I stopped mid-80's, I think I was much more worried about catching an STD, and security had tightened, etc. (And perhaps one day I just realized that the sense of adventure wasn't there anymore, and that sex should happen in more comfortable, pleasant surroundings lol.)

 

That first time was, to quote Stephen Sondheim, an "excited and scared" experience. Again it was lunchtime, later that same summer. This particular restroom had two stalls (with no doors!) and with small peepholes (nothing glory-hole sized) - so one could look into the other stall, and/or you could spy on the guys at the 2 urinals next to that. That day I was in the stall nearest the urinals. A guy came in, saw me sitting there, and went to the urinal. He surely knew I was watching as he started stroking himself instead of peeing. After a minute or two he peeked slightly into my stall, with a knowing look, and I think, a lick of his lips. Obviously I knew this was a good opportunity. He motioned me to come over to the urinal with him. He played with my cock and sucked it, and when I was ready to cum I remember he stroked it out of me, having me aim it into the urinal. It was the first time an adult had gotten me off. After, he asked me if I wanted to do anything back, and frankly, I was so shaken by having done what I just did, that I made an excuse and said I had to go. I seem to remember him chuckling a little and thanking me for letting him play with me. I zipped up and got the hell out of there, lol. And really spent the rest of the day at work aware of my nerves - I was glad I had done it, but maybe I felt really guilty too lol.

 

But, I went back. And became a kind of a regular after a while. And it's funny to think back to all that - here I was, a chubby, average-looking, kinda nerdy kid, nevertheless getting all this attention from guys over twice my age (though occasionally there would be younger guys too, and even another teen here and there). I would guess they all felt pretty fucking stoked to find this boy as part of "the club" lol. It was edgy, and sometimes I realize what a miracle it was that I never got caught or into any dangerous situations - but I sure had some fun, if perhaps seedy, encounters lol.

[Tonyko]

CAREER TESTS IN SCHOOL? Anyone else have to take?? That multiple choice quiz in HS where they tell you what you're BEST suited for?? Yes I was in Glee Club and the school plays etc lol but I also played sports was on the baseball team and did Karate since I was a kid etc "so" I really thought I'd be a fairly under the radar queer. Imagine my surprise when I sat across from the guidance councillor (who looked back n forth from ME to my test results several times before speaking) and said (with a lil smirk) FLORIST.

I will never forget that, and though these were "private" I wondered (fearfully) if he shared our results with others in the teacher's lounge, Or WORSE with other guys in my class.

The multiple choice questions were SO lame, at least to me at that time.

WOULD YOU RATHER:

A) WASH DISHES.

B) DRY DISHES.

Shit like that. "But" apparently designed to be kinda' accurate I guess

*I also suppose writing in my own alt:

C) GARNISH THEM - probably didn't help

Edited July 30, 2015 by Tonyko

[Zman]

I took career tests in high school. I don't recall what they said I was suited for but I definitely remember they were spot on that I shouldn't do anything that required visualizing shapes or geometry in your head (like an architect or engineer or something). Oddly, I am good at math and logic but just don't have a brain for design. So no way I could have been pegged for a florist. They probably said I should be an accountant which I was for a while.

[bostonman]

The few florists I know well are very masculine straight guys. There goes the stereotype lol.

[+ deej]

CAREER TESTS IN SCHOOL? Anyone else have to take??

 

I remember taking one. I remember ignoring it, and I can't remember what it said.

 

At that point, my mind was TOTALLY made up. I was going to be a high school band director.

 

(I have never been a high school band director, of course.)

 

Those tests are useful for possibly steering kids who have no idea what they want to do in life. For kids who have an idea, or a plan, or a drive, they're useless.