What to do multiple responses following delay

[bobchitown]

I can't be the only this has happened to. You contact escort #1 and a few days pass with no reply. You then contact escort #2 and set up plans. Then you finally hear from #1 wanting to meet.

 

I always feel a bit guilty I didn't tell #1 sorry but then he didn't respond in a reasonable time. What to do now. Ignore the late response? Just respond with "my plans changed". Respond "when I didn't hear from you I moved on, you snooze, you lose." Or should I have sent a "nevermind" before moving on? By waiting I feel like I'm keeping my options open.

[sincitymix]

I am sorry, I had only a limited time frame. I had to make alternative plans. I hope we get together next time.

[+ azdr0710]

very practical suggestion from sincitymix......a response to his late reply is always good, however regretful it may be.....

[loverboy95]

Tell him you are no longer available. You can ignore the e-mail if you want to.

[instudiocity]

I am sorry, I had only a limited time frame. I had to make alternative plans. I hope we get together next time.

Or, "Sorry, I made other plans. See you soon."

 

Isn't the saying, "The more words you use to say something, the more the listener/reader thinks you're being less than truthful."

[+ SundayZip]

Be 100% truthful with escort #1. Tell him that he had been your first choice but when you didn't here from him, you scheduled time with another guy. Say it in a way that is friendly, matter of fact and nonaccusatory.

[Guest]

I can't be the only this has happened to. You contact escort #1 and a few days pass with no reply. You then contact escort #2 and set up plans. Then you finally hear from #1 wanting to meet.

 

I always feel a bit guilty I didn't tell #1 sorry but then he didn't respond in a reasonable time. What to do now. Ignore the late response? Just respond with "my plans changed". Respond "when I didn't hear from you I moved on, you snooze, you lose." Or should I have sent a "nevermind" before moving on? By waiting I feel like I'm keeping my options open.

 

A few days? Sorry, but escort #1 isn't taking his business seriously. Did he really expect you to wait days for him to respond?? Sorry, but that's rude. It doesn't take long to at least respond. If his plans were uncertain he could have responded with "I'd like to try and work it out, but I won't know for sure until Monday. Is that OK?". I think that not to respond to him at all would be rather rude, too. You could simply say "I made other plans in the meantime," or you could provide his some feedback/education and elaborate "You were my first choice, but since you didn't respond in a timely manner, I made a commitment to another escort." Escort #1 sounds really unprofessional. Was there even a hint in his late response that he should have responded earlier, such as "I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier. I was in the mountains camping..."??

[AdamSmith]

Isn't the saying, "The more words you use to say something, the more the listener/reader thinks you're being less than truthful."

 

Exactly. As Hazlitt (1778-1830) shrewdly observed:

 

"To give a reason for anything is to breed a doubt of it."

 

(I learned that from one of Zig Ziglar's books. )

[+ poolboy48220]

I really like the "You were my first choice" in the response, if you were planning on trying to meet up with this guy in the future.

[MiamiLooker]

Isn't the saying, "The more words you use to say something, the more the listener/reader thinks you're being less than truthful."

 

Excessive wordiness could be due to other underlying personal issues.

[bobchitown]

OP here. The related issue is that with the escort response rate hovering somewhere south of 50%, one hates to prematurely cut off one choice when the odds of the 2nd choice responding are just as low. I've been tempted to send out an e-mail blast saying "I'm in xxx this weekend, the first person to respond gets my business."

 

I must say I never have this problem with repeat visits - once I've established a relationship with someone they're always prompt in their replies if only to say "sorry, I'll be out of town that weekend."

[Kevin Slater]

I've been tempted to send out an e-mail blast saying "I'm in xxx this weekend, the first person to respond gets my business."

 

Any email saying that would go directly into my trash.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ purplekow]

I would mention that you made other arrangements but in the future you will contact him again, if indeed you intend to do so. You might also add that your scheduled is usually pretty hectic and you like to nail the escort appointment first so you can make you other plans.

[wklucas]

I had it happen this week too....Guy #1 finally got back to me 6 days later saying that he had been busy moving into a new apartment but was now ready to be back open for biz. (Can't guys sometimes just suspend ads for a few days or adjust / edit their ad copy stating unavailable dates ?). I let him know, sorry but I had already contacted someone else & had concrete plans in place.....& I wished him good luck in his new home.

[+ sf westcoaster]

If you still want to see this escort then follow the advice given by sincitymix. This will keep the door open, however if you have lost interest in seeing this guy then just move on without responding.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Ummm, maybe he was with a client or on a trip?

[Kevin Slater]

Can't guys sometimes just suspend ads for a few days or adjust / edit their ad copy stating unavailable dates ?

 

+1

 

Kevin Slater

[instudiocity]

OP here. The related issue is that with the escort response rate hovering somewhere south of 50%, one hates to prematurely cut off one choice when the odds of the 2nd choice responding are just as low. I've been tempted to send out an e-mail blast saying "I'm in xxx this weekend, the first person to respond gets my business."

 

I must say I never have this problem with repeat visits - once I've established a relationship with someone they're always prompt in their replies if only to say "sorry, I'll be out of town that weekend."

You may want to check how your initiating the conversation with escorts if you're only getting a 50% response to your inquiries. Unless he's on vacation, or out-of-town, I generally get a response within 3-4 hours max, never faster than 10-15 minutes, but never longer than 4 hours. I get about an 80% response rate.

 

But then I only contact reviewed/discussed/referred escorts.

[corndog]

I wonder if these escorts that take a week to reply to your inquiry are the same ones that are constantly exasperated that most of the inquiries they get from clients don't lead to actual appointments?

[bobchitown]

You may want to check how your initiating the conversation with escorts if you're only getting a 50% response to your inquiries. Unless he's on vacation, or out-of-town, I generally get a response within 3-4 hours max, never faster than 10-15 minutes, but never longer than 4 hours. I get about an 80% response rate.

 

But then I only contact reviewed/discussed/referred escorts.

Well you've been lucky. I send a short message asking if they're available, giving as broad a time frame as I can along with a short description of me and what I'm looking for, always after checking that I'm not asking for something this don't do. I give an email and phone number and only contact guys who are reviewed. Many escorts seem to be flakes.

[+ SundayZip]

I've recently experienced several instances of no follow-through after an initial response.

 

I contact the escort and he replies with something short but encouraging within a reasonable time frame. I reply with answers to any questions he may have had, a bit more information about myself and ask him how he would like to proceed. And then there's nothing. I send a polite follow up, but still nothing. He just disappears. I suppose he's ruled me out for whatever reason or decided that I'm not worth his time. That's fine, but his failure to communicate leads me to believe that he's definitely not worth my time.

[bobchitown]

Ummm, maybe he was with a client or on a trip?

 

Could be, but if you're gone on a trip change your ad to say "not available from xx to xx" The site that makes this easy is masseurfinder, they even put a banner over the picture on the index that say "out of town." If you're with a client that's fine for a few hours, but if the session is extended I've always had some "me time" for both of us to catch up with business.

 

"I'm in xxx this weekend, the first person to respond gets my business."

 

Any email saying that would go directly into my trash.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I wasn't being serious, but it's tempting. I feel like some escorts essentially do this by listing in several cities at the same time and then they decide to go where the most business is. Or, they got a better offer for a longer session. In that case I'd actually be fine if they were honest along the lines of "Bob, I hope you understand but I'll be with a client the entire weekend and need to cancel. I know this inconveniences you, but I'll give you half off next time we meet."

[Guest]

Ummm, maybe he was with a client or on a trip?

 

That's silly. Unless I hire an escort for two hours or less, I realize that I don't have a monopoly on his time. When I've hired escorts for trips, they've always been able to answer e-mails and texts. Unless it interrupts something intimate, there's nothing wrong with it. If a client is so psycho that he raises an objection to an escort checking an e-mail or text during a long-term hire, he should just be told that the escort has personal matters that need to be attended. Go to the bathroom if necessary.

[ZhenXBear]

That's silly. Unless I hire an escort for two hours or less, I realize that I don't have a monopoly on his time. When I've hired escorts for trips, they've always been able to answer e-mails and texts. Unless it interrupts something intimate, there's nothing wrong with it. If a client is so psycho that he raises an objection to an escort checking an e-mail or text during a long-term hire, he should just be told that the escort has personal matters that need to be attended. Go to the bathroom if necessary.

 

+1

 

I agree completely, 110%. Even professional companions deserve their privacy and down time during an extended hire, be it an overnight, weekend or longer. During my first ever overnight, I was asked if it was okay if he took some time to check his email. I thought it was incredibly considerate of him to ask but he really didn't need to do so and while smiling, told him that in earnest. The best part of an extended engagement with your companion of choice, is being in someone's company that you enjoy; they should be afforded all the courtesy, care and respect you give to anyone you bring into your life that makes you happy.

[Lookin]

+1

 

Even professional companions deserve their privacy and down time during an extended hire, be it an overnight, weekend or longer.

 

Lately I've been finding that my guys appreciate those little courtesies even for shorter appointments.

 

My last hire needed some time when he first arrived to count his fee. Then he had to check emails and one took quite a while to download. It must have been funny because he laughed so hard that he had to go into the bathroom before he peed himself. He took care of a few other calls while he was in there, and made sure he paid some bills that were due by close-of-business that day. When he came out, I helped him buff his shoes for a date he had that evening and by then our hour was almost up.

 

He did stay a few minutes over though, while he finished the beer and sandwich he asked for, and he didn't charge me anything for the extra time. .http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif