Marylander, My Marylander

[+ purplekow]

After accumulating "likes" at a pace that was only outstripped by his new thread posts, Marylander has dropped off the radar,. His name is no longer on the lists of Frequent posters or those with numerous likes and total points. Has Marylander seceded from the union? Or perhaps some computer glitch has found him and given him the boot.

Well while many of his threads held no interest for me, his presence was a remedy for the summer doldrums that keeps the number of participants low in the hotter months.

Marylander, Oh Marylander there are no other posters who can be off the site for less than a day and be noticed to be missing. You are our version of the Kardashians and we need a fix.

[McLeanspider]

After accumulating "likes" at a pace that was only outstripped by his new thread posts, Marylander has dropped off the radar,. His name is no longer on the lists of Frequent posters or those with numerous likes and total points. Has Marylander seceded from the union? Or perhaps some computer glitch has found him and given him the boot.

Well while many of his threads held no interest for me, his presence was a remedy for the summer doldrums that keeps the number of participants low in the hotter months.

Marylander, Oh Marylander there are no other posters who can be off the site for less than a day and be noticed to be missing. You are our version of the Kardashians and we need a fix.

 

I got an email from him, after been bullied by newcomer Barnaby Gil who joined on May 24th, he was banned for a month for allegedly bullying his bully.

 

His gallery post were hot... his post were interesting but some just dull and he knew it but who am I to judge I'm one of the guys how clicks "like" the most, I'm just easy to appreciate what others write.

 

Kardashian: well he only posted pornstars with hot butts, i see your point now from a different perspective.

[Irtwo]

If he was banned, why is there no "Time Out" under his name?

[+ Charlie]

I doubt that he has been timed out, much less banned. He sounded upset about the exchange with Barnaby, and has probably taken a break from the site, as all of us ought to do now and then.

[+ deej]

Why don't you look at the exact thread on the forum before his editing? I didn't bully him.

 

We agree that you didn't. But don't push your luck.

[rguer]

I'm not a fan of Marylander's right-wing political views, but he is often interesting. And as for whether he was bullied, well, the accused bully would not be an impartial judge of that.

[+ ArVaGuy]

I must be having a Rose Nylund moment as I'm completely confused by this entire situation.

 

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c262/cpapa8162/image.jpg1_zpsp8ap4x5f.jpg

 

 

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c262/cpapa8162/image.jpg1_zpshslr7ej8.jpg

 

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c262/cpapa8162/image.jpg3_zpsqsavzxse.jpg

[+ purplekow]

Just read through the other thread. I had totally missed what was going on there. Sorry I brought it up anew.

[+ ArVaGuy]

Just read through the other thread. I had totally missed what was going on there. Sorry I brought it up anew.

 

I did. And I'm still not clear on the issues.

 

Oh well...never mind.

[McLeanspider]

I'm not a fan of Marylander's right-wing political views, but he is often interesting. And as for whether he was bullied, well, the accused bully would not be an impartial judge of that.

 

please he's a liberal, he mocked Bush so many times on here.

[McLeanspider]

Why don't you look at the exact thread on the forum before his editing? I didn't bully him.

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/any-matthew-dempsey-followers-out-there-eye-candy-psychotherapist.105363/

 

He wasn't time out because of you... he was time out because of ChrisW...

 

I was wrong about it my apologies, besides I think whatever he posted he removed it hours later. With the new system you can edit over and over again, that should change but it's just my opinion.

 

Damn, I was confused!!!!

 

Didn't I just say that if your concerned about HIV to use a condom? As for the rest of your questions you seem a tad hostile and based some of your other posts, paranoid/unbalanced. While I still have a few years until I am licensed mental health practitioner I would be more than happy to give you some names of folks that provide excellent care.

 

That's not very nice specially from an escort.

[Scorpio]

Shouldn't the sockpuppet(s) be on a break as well?

[+ honcho]

I never want to tempt fate by wading into to discussions about somebody being on a break not entirely

of their choosing, but I'm wondering if the new system might lack the feature that the old one

had of disclosing that somebody had been timed out instead of , or in addition to, their title . . ?

[bigvalboy]

I'm not a fan of Marylander's right-wing political views,whether he was bullied, well, the accused bully would not be an impartial judge of that.

 

lost me. lol...

[AdamSmith]

lost me. lol...

 

http://brianoverland.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/lost-horizon-2.jpg

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bd/Land_of_the_Lost_(1974_TV_series).jpg

 

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI2NDI5ODk4N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTI3NTE3._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

 

http://cdn.bleedingcool.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/LostInSpace.jpg

 

[+ ArVaGuy]

lost me. lol...

 

Oh thank God! Now I'm not the only one lost.

[bigvalboy]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a2glVFlFrq8/VIU0nmTKw5I/AAAAAAAAD3U/iTPIrgmS2Rg/s1600/00junction1.jpg

 

Wandering off into oblivion for 30 more days....

[+ stevenkesslar]

I doubt that he has been timed out, much less banned. He sounded upset about the exchange with Barnaby, and has probably taken a break from the site, as all of us ought to do now and then.

 

To Charlie's point, I feel like I can play poster child for the wisdom of taking a self-imposed break. I posted exactly 2 times on this site between Feb 2011 and Feb 2015. Since Feb 2015 I've had over 200 posts, most in the last month. In addition to being a poster child, maybe that also makes me manic depressive, because I've gone from one extreme to the other. While some of you may wish I went back into depressive mode, the "like" button suggests if I let my manic side babble, I may eventually say something that has merit.

 

99.3 % or so of the reason I fell silent for 4 years can be said this way: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I was going through my own self-produced pity party that had to do with a shitty real estate market and turning 50 and aging parents and family psychodrama and feeling burnt out on escorting and feeling like my volunteer activities on gay marriage were basically an interesting but mostly useless form of masochism. Instead of sounding like a bitchy queen, I wanted to sound like ........ (silence). Now I can look back and say if that was a pity party, we should all have a lot more pity on ourselves. I've come out of it smelling like a rose, but it took me 4 years of time and calm and reflection to feel this way.

 

So Charlie is right. If you are in a negative space, maybe it's a good time to check out and spend quality time with the people who know you best, and can support you, like I did, instead of feeding negativity back into the world. I can vouch for that.

 

I have no idea what happened with Marylander, but I'm guessing from the above that it may have had to do with conflicting sensibilities about safe sex, condoms, HIV, and AIDs. Meanwhile, I intentionally provoked what I think at least some people viewed as interesting discussions by using the word "whore," which used to be more or less banned on this site, and by going after somebody who unsuspectingly used the phrase "white twentysomething" and ended up becoming what one poster privately and correctly described to me as a "sacrificial lamb" to advance a discussion about how we handle the race and age thing when posting about hiring. It doesn't surprise me at all that issues relating to things like safe sex, barebacking, race, racial stereotypes, and aging would stir up strong feelings and disagreement, and lead to a lively debate, and some name calling.

 

 

The nice thing about this site is that unlike in the cartoon above, words are NOT actions, and debate is NOT harmful. Actions actually speak louder than words, and the "white twentysomething" thread as of this drafting had 6,284 views, ranking it currently at #73 out of 21,506 threads in the Deli. Assuming people vote with their clicks, most of you must feel the way I do: that debate is interesting and fun, and possibly actually informative, or you wouldn't have bothered to keep clicking to see what was being said, whether you agreed or commented or not.

 

I'm actually very glad to be back, partly because I love the exchange of intelligent perspectives that happens on this site, and partly because I feel a little bit like Dorothy in Kansas. There is no place like home, and this is home for a whore like me. I like the ability to talk about things that are important to me, including sex and escorting and politics and lots of other things, even if I am long-winded in doing it. And I love the ability to get into brief and witty and bitchy fun exchanges with other posters who, unlike me, have wicked senses of humor. And are concise. Maybe even I can learn something from them.

 

The technology of this site is also better and funner than the one I left, Daddy and Deej, because you can upload pointed and fun pictures and videos to help make your point or try to make people laugh.

 

Speaking of pointed and wicked, sorry to do this, guys, but here's a potpourri of insults that yours truly started by calling somebody who asked a seemingly innocent question an asshole:

 

And you, with all respect, sound like an asshole.

This is complete and total bullshit.

I am not attracted to or sexually turned on by black guys, Asian guys or very ethnic Hispanic guys.

You're an idiot...if you can't see what you started here you're a fool...but I expect you know exactly what you're doing..enough of this shit...

 

Fact is, I did know exactly what I was doing. Before I said a word I spent a while on the phone with several posters whose judgment I respect discussing how they thought a discussion about very sensitive racial topics might go. Using the word "asshole" provoked exactly the kind of reaction I was digging for, and I think the thread was interesting and funny and possibly instructive and went better than any of the people I asked for advice predicted, or feared. While there was certainly no consensus, here were the two most "liked" comments:

 

It is ... certainly appropriate to talk about our preferred escort characteristics on a forum where we talk about escorts. However, over the years, on this site, there have been a multitude of threads highly critical of escorts who in their ads state that they won’t get together with old people, fat people or ethnic people. Should there be a different standard for clients?

 

It's really easy, if you don't agree with me, ignore this thread.

 

At the risk of putting words in anybody's mouth, I'd say what those statements boil down to a standard I like for everything on this site: say what you want, try to say it in both an interesting and respectful way, and if somebody says something that really gets a bug up your butt, you always have the right to simply ignore it. And if all else fails, you can always just take your marbles and go away and have a nice little pity party, like I did for 4 years.

 

Speaking for myself, I hate the idea of censorship, or banning the way people express their opinions, no matter how provocative or even rude they are. I do like the idea of trying to think and act like grown ups and censor or silence ourselves as needed, and out of respect for each other. I very much enjoy Marylander's contributions to this site. If he's gone for a while, I hope Charlie is right - it's because he did what I did, and is taking time to calm himself down and come back feeling fresh and positive. A girl is always at her best when she is feeling fresh!

 

Like me, I'm sure he'll figure out there's no place like home. My heels are rusty, but my computer mouse works just fine, and all I have to do is click and interesting and magic things appear.

 

http://ell.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/01/480x330/placeholder_54a7a1bdd0ad2_-_rubyslipper.gif

http://healthshire.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/depression-screening.jpg

[+ WmClarke]

Using the word "asshole" provoked exactly the kind of reaction I was digging for, and I think the thread was interesting and funny and possibly instructive and went better than any of the people I asked for advice predicted, or feared.

 

Did the OP of that thread find it interesting and funny? Just curious.

[Diverdan]

I guess I was not on line during this endless charade of posts... I really miss Marylander, and folks lit into him as much as he did to others. Not sure why Daddy did that to him, but it is his playpen, so I guess he can do what ever he wants... But some of this crap is tiresome and so I may in fact take a time out on myself...

[+ Gar1eth]

I never want to tempt fate by wading into to discussions about somebody being on a break not entirely

of their choosing, but I'm wondering if the new system might lack the feature that the old one

had of disclosing that somebody had been timed out instead of , or in addition to, their title . . ?

 

No, as far as I can tell this new system will let you know if someone is on time-out. Look up a last post for example by imthr-of course he was time-outed before the new system was in place. But this system does reflect his status from the old system.

 

Gman

[bigvalboy]

I guess I was not on line during this endless charade of posts... I really miss Marylander, and folks lit into him as much as he did to others. Not sure why Daddy did that to him, but it is his playpen, so I guess he can do what ever he wants... But some of this crap is tiresome and so I may in fact take a time out on myself...

 

I miss Marylander as well DD, and I think his posts were interesting and well-intentioned. For those that appear bothered by what and how often he posted, or just bothered by his level of likes and posts, we always have the option of just passing over something that is not of interest to us, or to our liking. It's not a contest...That being said, a self imposed time-out is not necessarily the answer either. Hope you re-consider. Cheers....

[+ deej]

If he was banned, why is there no "Time Out" under his name?

 

Because we no longer use the software that did that. The new software instead shows the poster's name with a strikethrough. It's both more subtle and more accurate.

[+ poolboy48220]

we always have the option of just passing over something that is not of interest to us, or to our liking.

That's always been my approach. Well, almost always. Plenty of discussions here that I can contribute positive stuff to.