I thought Americans were supposed to be coming more open-minded

[Mocha]

obviously it's not the case. Or it's just a case of location or something relative. Because twice this week, someone felt the need to tell me that escorting is not a real job, and that dating isn't possible as long as it's a choice I make. The first time, the person wasnt trying to hear what I had to say. He just wanted to talk and hear himself. The other person wasn't so lucky. I told him off. You have no alternatives for me, I'm not asking for it, and you're not doing anything for me...so he needed to stay in his lane.

 

What makes me so annoyed about all of this, is of all my friends who work normal jobs...in my age range of under 35....non of these dudes have their own place AND a car that's paid off. Simultaneously. So, it really irritates me that someone has the nerve to say I need to change what I need to do to love up to THEIR standards. I'm not asking them for money, I'm not needing help from them for ANYHING....yet they want to criticize and put me down.

 

My friends have good jobs...but nothing that's making them rich. Just regular, run of the mill middle class jobs. But they still can't afford to live alone. People at regular jobs complain about their work, and it's venting. When I talk about things, they say get a real job. When I talk good about the business, they say I'm not going to be young forever, their jealous, can't date me, etc. nothing satisfies people. Even stopping won't satisfy them because they'll still hang that ish over my head, I guarantee it.

 

It's almost like I can't make new friends or date anyone. It's always something. My good friends understand, sometimes....they not always helpful either, but the new people who come into my life just get downright hurtful and incendiary about it. That's why I just try my best to not let anyone know. But, gay Americans are so hell bent on finding out what someone does for work, it's hard to keep a straight face. And went thru a very intense conversation with someone about it earlier this week with a guy I just started dating. It was brutal. He dismissed me like I was a bum off the street, yet I was the one trying to do a fancy date.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Escorts who are involved with someone, etc.

[Mocha]

I want to go even further, because it used to be that being POZ was a taboo. Now, that's not even a big deal. Matter of fact, you're popular, it's a badge of honor, an accessory, a night cap.

 

So I don't know where people can judge someone else when they, at some point in life would be totally shunned and dismissed for being POZ. And you'd think they wouldn't judge? Believe that

[bigvalboy]

Find new friends....

[josh282282]

Hi Mocha,

 

First, I'm not an escort, so it's understandable if you discount what I say.

But I hear you. You are being disrespected. Completely.

By people who should have your back: your friends.

But instead of love and support, you receive from your "friends" judgement and hypocrisy.

You deserve better.

To be perfectly honest, I think you need better friends. Ones who care about you, support you, and value you.

I know that's easy for me to say.

I have a saying that I live by "Good company, or no company".

Yes, it would be nice to have a few more friends, but I do have a few close friends who cherish me and in turn I, them.

But by keeping true to myself (and the saying above), I ultimately end up in a better place.

Find new friends. You deserve better.

So much better.

[rvwnsd]

I can only echo what BVB and josh have said: you need new friends. You deserve love and support, not disrespect. Friends don't treat one another that way.

[RPCny]

We Americans continue to be incredibly hypocritical/contradictary around anything regarding sex. We're like teenage Catholic schoolboys: "Yes, yes! No, no! Bad, bad! More, more!" As adults we learn to shroud those primal urges in bullshit language, such as your friends did, where they dump all of their unresolved and repressed feelings all over you -- under the galling guise of your best interest. It's got nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You're merely the vessel through which they're working out their issues. I'll leave you with one of the best pieces of advice one of my shrinks gave me: Beware of people who SHOULD all over you!

[Browser]

Just a thought. I have a good friend who operates a mostly "cash only" business and the one thing that differentiates him from me is that I have to pay income tax on all of my income, while he has a good deal of "tax free" income. This may not be the case with you, but it might explain why some friends, even thought they make a good income, may not do as well as you. As I said, just a thought.

[bigvalboy]

OR....just say what my friend does all the time..."What you think of me is none of my business" Good luck!!

[BaronArtz]

About being an escort and dating: well-known escort 'Zach Brown' in NYC once confided in me that he can't date other guys, except if they are escorts themselves. Being an escort made potential boyfriends recoil, even in a liberal city like NY. I don't think it is hypocrisy or narrow-mindedness. While you may like the income and the perks being an escort gives you, you are still opening yourself up to abuse, violence and other risky aspects of the profession. I understand that potential boyfriends don't want to be part of it. How would you feel if you are on a date with your boyfriend/escort who then gets called away by one of his regulars on Friday night, just when you were planning on having a good time?

[devonhunter]

RPCny - is that you in that picture? Because, um, we can date and get married. I'm just saying. Ha yew durin'?

[+ sync]

Hypocrisy is a cruel adversary that makes its own rules. I was once acquainted with a very congenial gentleman who was a happy hour chum. He introduced me to his boyfriend. The boyfriend was/is physically gorgeous, personable, and carries himself very well. My happy hour chum would gush about how happy he was being in love with this man. Down the road the boyfriend confided that he was/is an escort. It was then that my happy hour chum ended the relationship because he wanted exclusivity. Now comes the hypocirsy--my happy hour chum was/is married--to a female. There are a multitude of men who would have no problem overlooking exclusivity to be the main squeeze of this subject escort, including me.

 

I can only echo what BVB and josh have said: you need new friends. You deserve love and support, not disrespect. Friends don't treat one another that way.

 

I would like to add my echo.

[instudiocity]

OR....just say what my friend does all the time..."What you think of me is none of my business" Good luck!!

Although that's quite a handsome avatar you've got there... Makes me horny* thinking of teethless BJ's!

 

 

*DAMN YOU AUTOKERRECT

[instudiocity]

Find new friends....

Friends are a reflection of your personality.

[bigvalboy]

Friends are a reflection of your personality.

 

Great line ISC...

 

... Makes me hornet thinking of teethless BJ's!

 

Hahaha....do tell.

[Rudynate]

Find new friends....

 

 

+1

[Irtwo]

Hi Mocha,

 

First, I'm not an escort, so it's understandable if you discount what I say.

But I hear you. You are being disrespected. Completely.

By people who should have your back: your friends.

But instead of love and support, you receive from your "friends" judgement and hypocrisy.

You deserve better.

To be perfectly honest, I think you need better friends. Ones who care about you, support you, and value you.

I know that's easy for me to say.

I have a saying that I live by "Good company, or no company".

Yes, it would be nice to have a few more friends, but I do have a few close friends who cherish me and in turn I, them.

But by keeping true to myself (and the saying above), I ultimately end up in a better place.

Find new friends. You deserve better.

So much better.

 

 

Nice writing style. Like Haiku poetry.

[Nvr2Thick]

It's almost like I can't make new friends or date anyone. It's always something. My good friends understand, sometimes....they not always helpful either, but the new people who come into my life just get downright hurtful and incendiary about it. That's why I just try my best to not let anyone know. But, gay Americans are so hell bent on finding out what someone does for work, it's hard to keep a straight face. And went thru a very intense conversation with someone about it earlier this week with a guy I just started dating. It was brutal. He dismissed me like I was a bum off the street, yet I was the one trying to do a fancy date.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Escorts who are involved with someone, etc.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes you're the cause of the conflict because you polarize issues and generalize behavior. How many times have you brought up some situation you've experienced from several people and then attributed it to an entire segment of the population; Los Angeles, the states of Ohio and Indiana, your entire client base, etc., etc., and now all of gay America.

 

I'm sure that you are, however, meeting some people who don't approve of escorting as a career and who unfairly discriminate. I know plenty of people who gravitate to their own kind, and treat non-mainstream life as abnormal. I'm friends with a musician in her 50's who says that her sisters cannot relate to her because they had expectations that she should have been like them, housewives or corporate employees. I know a man who is a carpenter by trade, but who can go for months supporting himself with random jobs outside the trade. The same is true of a few actors I've known. All of these people have faced disapproval from people who think that traditional employment is normal, and all of them have found themselves outcasts to some degree from their more closed-minded peers.

 

I don't know you anywhere near well enough to say this for certain, however, it wouldn't surprise me if for some reason you seek out the approval of people who are often unlikely to do so. I do not believe that Gay America is at fault.

[josh282282]

Nice writing style. Like Haiku poetry.

 

if that was a compliment, oh wow, thank you.

[Scorpio]

I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes you're the cause of the conflict because you polarize issues and generalize behavior.

 

Only sometimes?

 

This isn't even the first time he's brought up the dating issue. Some people fail to learn from past experience and continue to blame others for their failures.

[curiousnomore]

RPCny - is that you in that picture? Because, um, we can date and get married. I'm just saying. Ha yew durin'?

Damn, Devon, you beat me to him.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Damn, Devon, you beat me to him.

 

Don't think I didn't look that shit up.

[RPCny]

I wish, guys. Just a hot pic I found.

[Mocha]

Ok, detouring from the shirtless, sleeved avatar photo with a Black girl butt (Chris E quote)...

 

At this point, I can't say too much more than what's already been said. But, one of the guys I was able to come to an understanding with. He claims he was "joking" about his comments, and he's completely fine with it...but that's after I had to put him in his place, crush his ego, and let him know I'm doing fine. and that's what I've realized I haven't been emphasizing enough: I'm fine with what I'm doing, if they don't like it...that's their problem, not mine.

 

That said, right now I'm at a place where I really can't deal with too much, I've just been going thru so much with people in the last 6 months. Having to eliminate a lot of friends, and constantly coming across people who seem like potential lovers, only for them to throw shade for no reason at all. I don't think it's all to do with the business (I had one guy adamantly praise me for being business-minded, versus having a dictatorship boss like he does). I think it's just me needing to relocate and be careful who I allow into my house.

 

I know one thing...this weekend I took pics in Vegas, sent it to my friends who were talking shit...and they were so jealous. But I had to let them know, you can put me down all you want, but life is gonna be great regardless. So while they were stuck behind a cubicle, I was sending photos of my paid vacation at the Mandalay Bay Beach and me taking pictures with the Chippendales. One guy got so jealous, he made a snarky comment and refuses to speak to me. He was supposed to pick me up from the airport today and has not been answering my calls or texts. But yet, he said "we can still be friends and hang". Luckily I had an Uber friend who was willing to assist.

 

I love making these faux, foe phony friends hate me. They want to talk a bunch of shit, tell me to change my life, but want to kill me when I show them life is good, bitches.