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Gentlemen who prefer to charge up front

Bart

By Bart
in The Deli

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TruHart1 Grand Master

TruHart1

Posted
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In all my hiring, I have also never been asked to pay up front! As mentioned by WhamIAm previously, many professional escorts in this country do not want to be paid at the beginning as it leaves them open to being busted by undercover authorities for receiving payment for sex, which is still illegal in the USA!

 

TruHart1 :cool:

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Guest SilverDollar

Guest SilverDollar

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I have reviewed as many escorts on here as anyone and I never offer to pay upfront. Almost without exception every time I have been asked to do so it has been an early warning sign of a bad experience. The escorts who are good at this know not to do it

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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I recently did an overnight and was driving the gentleman to his tranportation when I realized that I had not paid at all. We dropped by my bank and I was able to make a withdrawal and still get him to his ride in time. So there is an advantage of paying up front, you do not forget. Meanwhile, I am a service worker. I get paid after the service. I expect to do the same.

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american executive Enthusiast

american executive

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Frankly paying up front or after doesn't really matter to me. It seems that I have always paid afterwards. I guess the guys were comfortable with that option or me. I was once with a newer escort in London. We planned in advance, exchanges lots of nice emails and finally met me at a very exclusive hotel. After a nice drink we went to my room. This young chap says "you need to pay me now. It's business you know". So I say okay, and pay him. After some time I decided to extend his stay as I often do with escorts. He says "you need to pay again". I say okay, but am thinking - really? We are having fun and therefore one more extension and no big surprise - "you have to pay again". I stop and ask how long have he been escorting. "About three months" he says. I asked him if he had a sense of trust and respect after being with me and being treated really well (drinks, etc). So I coach him a little and tell him that it IS a business and in business there are risks for the provider and the customer. He says "I am being tutored by an expert escort, and in Europe we get paid up front". Even for each extension? I politely told him to find another tutor and don't take up shop in the USA.

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BaronArtz Grand Master

BaronArtz

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I really enjoyed reading the link to brothel etiquette in your post. Should be a must-read for any client. The best idea in it was the reference to Malcolm Gladwell book 'Blink' - describing how experts instantly make accurate assessments about complex situations. I imagine that an experienced escort can instantly (or quickly) assess whether a potential client is going to be trouble. In which case, it makes sense to request payment upfront. From the escorts I know, a worry about 'will this guy pay me?' is very common. And escorts DO get stiffed by clients. Therefore, while I certainly don't like it when a guy asks for payment upfront, or a deposit even, I can certainly understand it.

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thickornotatall Grand Master

thickornotatall

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I have written about my uncomfortable experience before....I will repeat it...early May I had an escort stop....in the middle of a session and asked for his money...I had already put it in an envelope by the front door with is name "Jean French Top" clearly written....I got out of bed...fetched the envelope...handed it to him..and then asked him to leave....I am by no means new to hiring...I live in a penthouse on 5th Ave near Washington Sq so payment was not in my opinion doubtable or even remotely not going to happen.. As it turns out Mr OOO-La La was not quite the TOP he claimed and his photos were probably older than spoiled roquefort dressing...Maybe he read my mind?...I was thinking this poor queen has delusions and I will finish off and get him out anyhow...He only hastened his departure....I always prepare an envelope with the name...

A few weeks ago I was fortunate to have Marek see me multiple times and I always left the payment on plain sight...Marek never touched the donation until he was leaving....a real gentleman...

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SundayZip Mentor

+ SundayZip

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The last time an escort asked me to pay up front, I understood why after a few minutes into the date. My guess is that he had clients refuse full payment after they realized how much he had falsified his rentboy ad. I paid him up front because I did not want to make waves. In hindsight, I realize that was a mistake.

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ZhenXBear Explorer

ZhenXBear

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In my limited experiences thus far:

 

My first hire: insisted that I pay him at the conclusion of our day together (10a-6pm) and I had to remind him that he left his envelope in the center console; he never asked for payment after that, either, it just sort of "happened" at the end.

My second hire: Never mentioned it. I subtly asked during lunch and he smiled and said not to worry about it, it's fine when we part company.

 

This being said, the only way I would likely meet someone is over lunch/dinner for the first introduction. I wouldn't pay someone until the conclusions of that, as I think I'd prefer to at least have the opportunity to get to know them a bit before our time together continued. At that point, the only thing the Escort or myself has lost/gained is conversation and a meal. I've endured a number of those in a business setting with people I didn't particularly care for and am none the worse, so if at the end that...if we decided we weren't feeling it, we could part company with compensation for time and travel.

 

That being said, I can understand why for shorter sessions of (1-2hrs) why an Escort might want to at least SEE that you can pay or have the money in plain sight; For a 1 hour session with a new client you've got about as much understanding of that person as someone to whom you smiled at at the bus stop. I'll give the guys credit, for pulling those off successfully and leaving everyone with smiles.

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Gar1eth Grand Master

+ Gar1eth

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In my limited experiences thus far:

 

 

 

This being said, the only way I would likely meet someone is over lunch/dinner for the first introduction. I wouldn't pay someone until the conclusions of that, as I think I'd prefer to at least have the opportunity to get to know them a bit before our time together continued. At that point, the only thing the Escort or myself has lost/gained is conversation and a meal. I've endured a number of those in a business setting with people I didn't particularly care for and am none the worse, so if at the end that...if we decided we weren't feeling it, we could part company with compensation for time and travel.

 

That's interesting as it was totally reversed from my former hiring practices. I never hired anyone just for the day as once I was with someone, assuming the meeting went well, I'd get lonely after sex and wanted someone to spend the night. But the other thing is after eating I don't know that I would always be in the mood for sex-and I'm a top. I wonder if a lot of bottoms wouldn't rather have sex on a somewhat empty stomach. Now once the bedroom sports were finished I was fine with eating -or I didn't mind eating for a beforehand for a weekend appointment as there would hopefully be lots of time for my 15 minutes of pleasure.

 

Gman

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ZhenXBear Explorer

ZhenXBear

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That's interesting as it was totally reversed from my former hiring practices. I never hired anyone just for the day as once I was with someone, assuming the meeting went well, I'd get lonely after sex and wanted someone to spend the night. But the other thing is after eating I don't know that I would always be in the mood for sex-and I'm a top. I wonder if a lot of bottoms wouldn't rather have sex on a somewhat empty stomach. Now once the bedroom sports were finished I was fine with eating -or I didn't mind eating for a beforehand for a weekend appointment as there would hopefully be lots of time for my 15 minutes of pleasure.

 

Gman

 

Interesting point, Gar1eth! With #1, lunch was followed by a spa date, and walking around.... #2, was lunch but very "light" fare (e.g. salad and pellegrino) but you're right...if it was a full sit down meal...I'd need nap/cuddle time before anything happened too :p

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Amoco Apprentice

Amoco

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Posted

I may have missed this question, Bart, but I'm curious about what the escort's position was on tipping? I can't imagine that the expectation was to pay the tip up front, too? So if he expects to be paid for the session up front to insure that the client not think that the experience is contrived, doesn't waiting to be tipped later create that same undesirable circumstance? The whole thing seems like a red herring to me. I'm with Starbuck - been hiring for years and have never been asked for money up front, nor has there ever been any confusion about what the fee will be as it was previously discussed and negotiated. Some may want to get paid first, and everyone is free to run their hook up the way they want to, but let's not pretend that there's some high minded philosophy behind it.

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stevenkesslar Grand Master

+ stevenkesslar

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Posted
"Charging upfront is not about trusting or not trusting. I believe if the exchange of payment happens after an appointment it can really adversely affect the lasting enjoyment that comes out of creating a great connection and enjoying time with the client. I don't want my client to think I was faking anything because I am just waiting to get paid. If the payment is upfront, then the client knows that what they are experiencing with me is 100% real and honest."

 

Sorry. I'm a first class bullshitter, and this is about the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard.

 

As several people have said, I'd take a statement like that as a huge warning sign.

 

It also seems odd because as Amoco mentioned, one thing getting paid upfront can adversely affect is getting a tip. So you can infer that any escort who wants to be paid upfront doesn't expect to get a tip, which is also not a good sign.

 

During my least enjoyable appointments, the fact is that I was faking it and I was just waiting to get paid. Sorry.

 

The flip side of this is that as a few people have mentioned, every once in a while the client is so happy they forget to pay me, and I have to remind them. THAT feels real and honest, and I take it as a huge compliment.

 

I think I can count on one hand the number of times a client has not had the money to pay when the appointment is over. Compared to just about any other business I know of, my rate of getting stiffed is extraordinarily low. I figure it goes with the territory, and anybody who does that to me is basically dismissed. Their loss, I figure. Sorry.

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Axiom2001 Grand Master

+ Axiom2001

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I think the guy's reasoning is an attempt to add some warm fuzzies to the fact that he prefers to be paid upfront, which I suspect he knows, sends the wrong message to many folks, myself included.

 

Of all the guys I have hired - across North America, Latin America, and Europe - I have never once been asked to pay upfront.

 

 

You're very fortunate! I still hold that one's requesting his fee upfront is definitely in poor taste and often leads to a very bad experience in the end!

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corndog Community Regular

corndog

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Posted
The flip side of this is that as a few people have mentioned, every once in a while the client is so happy they forget to pay me, and I have to remind them. THAT feels real and honest, and I take it as a huge compliment.

I've been one of those clients that (almost) forgot to pay. It was a tiny bit awkward, but I think that your assessment of the situation is spot-on. It makes me really happy that you recognize exactly what is going on. Thanks for posting this.

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stevenkesslar Grand Master

+ stevenkesslar

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I've been one of those clients that (almost) forgot to pay. It was a tiny bit awkward, but I think that your assessment of the situation is spot-on. It makes me really happy that you recognize exactly what is going on. Thanks for posting this.

 

You're welcome. Thanks for being a corndog. Maybe someday I can eat you. :eek:

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Keith30309 Grand Master

+ Keith30309

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This is the closest (reasonably current) thread to the topic so I'll ask here.

 

To those more knowledgable than me: What is the commonly-used definition of "solicitation" (for example, in the context of some sort of 'sting')? I understand that any overt discussion of an exchange of X for Y clearly meets a legal definition but how is that commonly applied?

(Yes, I understand this is addressed by the notion of 'pay after'; it's the exceptions discussed above that make it relavent.)

 

This seems to be fortunately-rare topic but a recent interaction caused me to wonder how this is applied these days.

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