Gentlemen who prefer to charge up front

[Bart]

Next month will be the 13 anniversary of my hiring my first gentleman and I had a good experience and through the years I have hired a lot of gentlemen and my tastes have been honed but I like a wide variety. I have always felt one of the key elements to setting up a good outing for both the gentleman or gentlemen and I is communication. So one of the things I really like about the Rentmen website is the interviews available to the gentleman on various subjects. I will say this is a great item to help me make a decision prior to contacting a gentleman, especially if no reviews are available.

 

So getting to the point, I came across an interview for a gentleman who fits the type of guy I love to hire. He made the following statement when filling out the interview for "Do you charge up front?"

He responded:

"Charging upfront is not about trusting or not trusting. I believe if the exchange of payment happens after an appointment it can really adversely affect the lasting enjoyment that comes out of creating a great connection and enjoying time with the client. I don't want to think my client to think I was faking anything because I am just waiting to get paid. If the payment is upfront, then the client knows that what they are experiencing with me is 100% real and honest."

 

I am curious to hear if the rest of you were put off by the gentleman's reasoning as I was. Maybe I got up on the wrong side of the bed today, but I will say I found it to be a big pile of . . .

 

While I usually do not hire gentlemen who charge up front, it does not mean I never do. If I do an overnight I always pay 1/2 up front. Usually I am willing to put the money out if there is a concern, but I like to get a feel for the gentleman either in the conversation prior or as we sit down and chat for a bit. I just think this is something part of the communication with the gentleman. If I get a good feeling, just like the gentleman gets a good feeling about me everything is cool. Gentlemen run their own business and can handle things their way, this one was a big turn off for me.

[+ Keith30309]

My approach is to choose companions carefully (after a couple of bad lessons) and place an unsealed envelope on the table/counter as soon as I walk in or have it already sitting in an obvious place for when he walks in. With someone I've never met before I will sometimes excuse myself to go to the restroom after a few minutes of chat and attaining a good level of trust and comfort such that he can check it if he chooses. Unless something has gone wrong during our visit I discretely slip a tip under the envelope as we say our goodbyes.

 

The only awkwardness I've ever felt is in one visit with a newb escort when circumstances (a roommate) didn't allow for that before and there was a slightly uncomfortable "I guess this is the part where you pay me" moment.

 

I'd rather get the fee part taken care of and make us both comfortable so we can focus on each other. With a professional I think this process works beautifully.

 

To the OP's point, if someone makes a really big deal about it then I might begin to question my choice. I can understand concerns about being ripped off by a client and ultimately there's just some trust needed on both sides. I suspect professionals have developed the right instincts to deal with whatever the situation calls for.

 

 

I've never had an overnight but the way I'd look at that is that I'm willing to trust someone enough to fall asleep next to them then I can probably trust them enough to not vanish after 5 minutes. If they do vanish then I made my mistake long before in my choosing them, not in the payment.

[jcmiami1]

If that's his "business model" you have always the decision to accept it or move on. Luckily he said it up front and he appears a legit escort on rentmen by being honest at least. I can see your perspective that he has "no incentive" since he got paid already but again it's your decision. It appears you already have a bad taste in your mouth about it so just move on there are tons of other escorts out there

[mike carey]

In my (admittedly few) hires, I've had a mixed response. My first hire the escort wanted money up front but after that he didn't ask until we'd finished. With others there was no pattern, some wanted money up front others didn't. I usually don't ascribe any significance from when they want to be paid. Well not so far!

[nycbystander]

You're paying for sex. Pay then sex. With the inverse, it's also more likely paid for sex than sex for pay. Despite the semantics, I honestly would like the sex worker to feel more comfortable with me by giving the payment upfront without any confusion on price and intent. Despite the john's possibly bruised ego of paying first, the bigger burden often emotionally and mentally is what that escort had to do for so little.

 

 

I agree, I always pay up front. I t makes for a more comfortable, relaxed atmosphere by removing the business aspect of the meeting.

[Guest Starbuck]

"I don't want my client to think I was faking anything because I am just waiting to get paid. If the payment is upfront, then the client knows that what they are experiencing with me is 100% real and honest."

 

Of course, by that logic, not charging at all (before or after) would also be a dandy confidence booster.

[MiamiLooker]

If the payment is upfront, then the client knows that what they are experiencing with me is 100% real and honest.

 

Do you really want the escort’s interaction to be ”100% real and honest?"

[wisconsinguy]

I started by reimbursing up front, I wasn't asked. I just wanted to get it out of the way, and not have to think about it.

[robberbaron4u]

The first commandment in making a hire: Thou shall not give until thou has gotten.

[+ WilliamM]

The first commandment in making a hire: Thou shall not give until thou has gotten.

Exactly. I might pay upfront for someone with excellent reviews because I have some power in my review if something goes wrong

[+ Gar1eth]

When I used to hire, the majority of the guys that I net with were fine with me paying afterwards. The main times I did pay up front or near 'up front' were my overnight or weekend hires. In those cases I didn't want to continue be responsible for all that money. Once I handed the 'donation' over, the money was no longer my responsibility. I no longer had to worry about losing it or where to secrete it in the hotel room.

 

Gman

[cooldemo03]

I don't get paying for a service you have not yet received. You don't pay for your dry cleaning until its been cleaned. You don't pay at a restaurant until you've actually eaten. Even the construction work on my house, I did not pay for until the job was done. Makes no sense to me otherwise.

[marylander1940]

I would pay upfront only if I'm using PayPal or my CC.

 

in all other cases I will always pay after.

[Guest Starbuck]

When I first hired (two years ago), my sense from this Forum was that it was common practice to pay at the end of a session, so that's what I did, and that's what I've done every time since. I've never had any man ask for payment in advance, nor discuss payment at any time while we were together, nor count the money I've paid him while I was still in the room. Maybe I look like a trustworthy character, and maybe escorts develop a reliable sixth sense about trustworthiness, but it's still my impression that the standard expectation of most escorts and most clients for most sessions is that payment happens at the end.

[+ DickyF]

I have the cash on the counter from the start. Escort sees it and leaves it there until afterwards. So he knows I intend to pay. A couple of times the escort forgot to pick it up until I reminded him, which was kind of cute.

I'll then hand him a tip.

Works well for me.

[Bart]

Thanks everyone for their input, I thought I would just clarify one thing. I was not being critical of him stating that he charges up front, I just think the whole song and dance about receiving a better experience if you do or don't is blah, blah, blah. Why not just say I prefer I am paid upon arrival. No explanation is needed. That is your practice. His listed reasoning actually puts it right in your face that this is a sex business and if you were expecting a connection, I think it becomes a turn-off. I usually don't hire just a for flip on the sheets. By the way this gentleman makes quite clear in his ad his focus is making a connection and BF experience, his reasoning for getting paid up front I think he speaks with "forked tongue." I have had forked tongue up my ass no extra feeling but kissing it was weird.

[+ WilliamM]

http://www.vice.com/read/etiquette-to-sleeping-with-prostitutes

 

An expert's guide to brothel etiquette

My experience in Australian houses of boys throughout the 1990s was very different. They served wine while talking to the guys and paid as you left.

[+ WilliamM]

If those requirements are the norm now Down Under, it is a major and sad change. My last visit was in 1999. Luckily there many other choices in Sydney and Melbourne.

[Epigonos]

I have been hiring escorts now for twelve years. I am perfectly aware that what I'm about to say might sound strange. I have always believed, and still do, that the choice of when to pay is the client's not the escort's. I agree with cooldemo03 that I don't pay for other service upfront and thus don't believe I should be "required" to do do with an escort. If in his ad, in his telephone communication, or in his email/text the escort demands payment up front -- I'm gone!!!!!

 

Now this is what might strange considering the above. If the payment issue hasn't come up during our initial contacts and a get together is set up I have always placed the escort's fee in a plain white envelope and give it to him immediately after our introductory greeting. What's the difference you ask? The difference is that the decision is mine not his -- I know petty, petty, petty difference but it has always worked for me.

[+ WhamIAm]

The first time I ever hired was in Cape Town, where, about two hours before, the guy texted he wanted to be paid upfront. I was clueless and happy to do so, then paid him for extra innings and a generous tip as he was leaving. My second escort experience was in NYC the night after I got back from CPT (once on the horse, I didn't want to stop riding). The guy is a very prominent escort. Went to pay him at the beginning of the session. He shooed away the money and told me to never pay beforehand both for my own protection and because it was clear evidence of a money-for-sex transaction. Since then, no guy has ever asked me for payment up front, and I've never offered. I will leave an envelope discretely and partially visible if on an out call (if I remember). At this stage, I might be a little wary of a money-up-front transaction. Only down side of payment after -- I'm usually on an endorphin high afterwards, which has led me to forget to tip a guy who really deserved it, over tip a guy who really didn't, and once on an incall, almost completely forget to hand over the envelope in my backpack until I realized the guy was staring at me very, very strangely. Sorry about that, Chris E.

[+ Billsboy4]

Over the years, I've been asked for payment in advance. On each occasion, it was a rip off. I pay after services are rendered, which is common in most service industries.

[+ Axiom2001]

Almost with all of my escort encounters, the expected fee is rendered at the end! I've had it in small envelopes at times, have handed all "new" bills folded, and once or twice have had it placed under a lamp and showing. The few who have asked for their money up front have been pure duds. Once the money has been in hand, the performance has been damn near next to nil. Requesting the fee up front is one hell of a red flag and deal breaker.

 

Do folks pay for their meals at restaurants before consuming it? And the the remarks made by the escort that his receiving his fee beforehand makes for "a better experience." I find it to be "pure bull shit!"

 

-------------A few years back, I had a very sterling two hour encounter with a popular, well-known man/escort here: after we'd had loads of hot fun, I told him that my birthday was that day. When I gave him his fee, he politely handed it back, kissed me royally, and said: "Happy Birthday!" When I insisted that it was for him; he told me otherwise! To this date I am still moved by this gesture on his part!

[bobnyc]

I've only been asked to pay up front once and I sent the guy away. I told him that I normally pay at the end, he told me he didn't trust me to pay at the end. He was new to escorting with no reviews. I didn't trust him and he obviously didn't trust me so I sent him home with $40 which I thought was fair since he did drive out to meet me.

 

I agree with pretty much everyone who says that you pay at the end. To say that paying at the end makes you feel like it cheapens the experience or makes it less genuine is just fooling yourself. Yes the escort may enjoy it but unless they tell you specifically they want to see you off the clock afterwards, then you're probably not someone they want to have those experiences with without compensation.

 

The good ones make you feel good and make you feel like you have a connection. If they want to see you off the clock then it's probably a real connection. If they're only available on the clock then you have your real answer.

[curiousnomore]

I almost always host, overnights no less. When the escort arrives, there is an unsealed envelope, full payment inside, with his name on the nightstand on his side of the bed. As he is settling in, I make sure he knows it's there and I don't mention it again. To date, I don't think an escort has touched it until getting ready to leave. No problems so far.

[down_to_business]

You should never pay up front unless you feel comfortable doing so. Don't let any escort or poster make you do otherwise. I could care less if they have 0 or 1000 reviews. Again, your comfort level should dictate this NOT giving into peer pressure or sob stories.

 

In all my time hiring (and that spans decades) only 2 people have ripped me off. One demanded the payment up front and the other I volunteered to. It was a valuable lesson learned. There is also a very small contributing risk to being arrested.