In-call. Escort freaks out!

[recency]

Another very interesting thread, from which I am learning. My own policy stems from always asking for in-calls, since I usually cannot host. First, I never arrange for a first time session at night, if I can possibly avoid it-- unless I am in my home city, which I know like the back of my hand. Second, I don't expect a specific street address or apartment number until close to the time of the session. Many if not most of the escorts who interest me post zip code references on the sites, which is enough to give me a general idea. I tend to arrange for the time of guys who have been in vids, so most of them have twitter/facebook accounts under the same name as their RB or RM listings. I don't try to friend them, but there's no law against taking a gander at their postings. And since they seem to have hundreds of friends (different definition on facebook than real world) I don't see what's so terribly wrong with friending them if their list is huge. Guys who don't want just anybody reading about them on facebook make it private, which is an option open to them, I think. Anyway, I sympathize with Erid and hope things go better in future.

[Erid]

Not to harp on the Facebook thing but I still think it's odd. I use an iPhone for fb and I've still never accidentally friended someone.

 

When this happened did you immediately cancel friend request which is an option displayed by fb?

 

Sorry to be skeptical but I concur with a poster above who said there's more here than we are hearing.

 

I probably did cancel it immediately but I cannot say for sure. All I can say is that I cancel it the moment I saw the mistake. It isn't hard to hit add friend when you are scrolling your screen up and down with your left thumb. I was just holding on my phone with my left hand earlier and I already accidentally hit the groupon app icon on the home screen cuz my left thumb touched the screen.

 

Also I don't think the Facebook thing is even relevant here (hence I never mentioned it in my original post until someone brought it up) because he obviously did not see the friend add in his notification as he was the one contacted me a week later after I sent him an email through Rentboy. That is how we began exchanging email on the appointment date setup.

 

Like what the last poster said, if this escort was that concerned about other people finding out his "other life" he should have locked his Facebook profile (and Instagram) and change privacy setting. It seems that people in their 20's nowaday just want to put everything about themselves out on the Internet to get attention and at the same time whine about lack of privacy.

 

Honestly why should I lie about this as I am the original poster asking for advice and I am not naming anyone name. I admit to my mistake and I am the only one to blame. Still, I think the escort should have at least reply back with just a "no" to cancel the meeting rather than ignoring it. I found it immature.

 

What would you have done if you were in my shoe? It seems like even by replying with just a "sorry" would make the situation worse. I really don't know. But like I said what I learned this time is that never talk too much to an escort until we actually meet.

[cany10011]

Hi Erid I don't think you did anything wrong. I think you are a planner, just like me. However, I usually host the escort at my place and when I plan a few days in advance, i don't tell them my address, i just give them my cross street/ train station info. On the day of the appointment, i just text them to confirm and give the full addy, buzzer number etc. I've had guys flake out on coming or not keeping their word, i'm a little hesitant in sharing my personal details until i know it is a sure thing like the afternoon of the appointment or a few hours in advance. Hope this sheds some light on the escort's behavior.

[+ Gar1eth]

Not to harp on the Facebook thing but I still think it's odd. I use an iPhone for fb and I've still never accidentally friended someone.

 

When this happened did you immediately cancel friend request which is an option displayed by fb?

 

Sorry to be skeptical but I concur with a poster above who said there's more here than we are hearing.

 

I think I did once. But it was on that page where they 'suggest' people you might know. I misread and thought those people had requested to friend me.

 

Gman

[Scorpio]

Still, I think the escort should have at least reply back with just a "no" to cancel the meeting rather than ignoring it. I found it immature.

 

 

Rightly or wrongly, your behavior made the escort uncomfortable. Based on your recounting of the events, he told you so point blank when he said that you “creeped him out.” As rvmsd pointed out, continuing to engage you in conversation after that would be pointless on his part. While you see it as trying to reassure him that you’re not a creep, your continued efforts to contact him and get him to respond to you are only fortifying the judgement call that he has already made. Some situations are not salvageable, even if it was a simple misunderstanding.

 

He made his decision. You attempted to reassure him. It didn’t work. The mature thing to do is to move on and leave the guy alone

[+ dutchmuch]

I am wondering if someone needs a escort session, or just a regular therapist session.

[jimboivyo]

something isn't adding up here

 

folks learn a lesson from this: don't be a creeper

[Guest countryboywny]

Erid, my suggestion is to move on. The damage is done and both of you are clearly apprehensive of meeting. That spells disaster. Learn from what transpired and adjust your approach accordingly.

[rvwnsd]

...What would you have done if you were in my shoe? ....

 

If I got myself into this situation I would leave the guy alone until the morning of the appointment. On the morning of the appointment I would text to confirm. If he replied back confirming the appointment, I would ask for his address. If he didn't provide it at that point, I would not reply again and consider the appointment cancelled. If he did not reply to the original text confirming the appointment, I would not communicate any further and consider the appointment cancelled. My next step would be to find a different escort and not ask for his address until the day of the appointment.

[+ WmClarke]

Not to harp on the Facebook thing but I still think it's odd. I use an iPhone for fb and I've still never accidentally friended someone.

I've done it once or twice. It happens.

 

I also had a friend of a friend "butt friend" me one time. She didn't notice until I accepted the request. We both got a nice laugh about it.

[+ goosh69]

Us johns would never give an escort our exact address days in advance! It sounds creepy to me.

[buckguy]

The closest I've come to this was asking a few days ahead about someone's general location and I made it clear I needed it for scheduling purposes and wasn't asking for anything more specific. Moreover, we'd already talked about location issues (he was having trouble finding a suitable hotel for a suitable price---a colleague was having a similar problem). Context matters as much as the timing and the request itself. The response was businesslike and I didn't get the address until the night before and didn't get the room number until I arrived.