Has self abuse changed your sexuality?

[+ purplekow]

There was a serious thread here about sexual abuse and sexuality. Fortunately most of us do not have first hand experience of that kind. I can only offer support and encouragement with the men and women who read this forum who have suffered such trauma.

 

However, I do not deal well with serious life altering experiences. I tend to get teary eyed and melancholy and it stays with me long after I should have been able to move on. I deal with such issues with humor or at least my version of it.

 

So I ask the people here, all of whom I am sure have first hand and even two handed experience with it, how has self abuse changed your sexuality.

 

For me, self abuse has been a constant companion and friend in my hours of need, ever since we ran into each other quite unexpectedly when I was 12 years old and was measuring what I now realize is an erection against a wooden ruler. In an effort to have my erection reach the next inch marker, I kept bearing down and pumping, trying to get it larger and larger. You would be surprised the effort on can put in at age 12 to get from inches plus 3/4 to the next inch mark. I was determined and after about forty five minutes, I quite unexpectedly had a shower of fluid and a feeling of total exhaustion.

[Samai139]

"Self'abuse" is a phrase I haven't heard much since I was in high school when Roman Catholic friends would relate what they confessed to in the booth.

To respond to your question however, No I don't think masturbation has changed my sexuality at all. If it has done anything, it has probably limited my sexual activity to being able to find some sexual satisfaction without having to risk anything---but then I grew up in an era when homosexuality was a sin, was illegal in many if not all states, and a social stigma that was hard to overcome.

Mutual masturbation was my introduction to the pleasures I could get with and from others, and still provides a lot of fun.

[Guest Starbuck]

Changed my sexuality? No. But confirmed it ... oh yeah ...

 

When you always knew you were gay ... and even told your parents you were ... but then got married (confusing Ma-n-Pa, who were thrilled not to ask for clarification) and spent 30+ years as a monogamous heterosexual (well, in practice, anyway), but never once jerked off to anything other than MEN ... well ... it kinda confirms what you always knew.

[+ Charlie]

Self-abuse is the only kind of abuse that I really enjoy.

 

By the way, I started when I was 5 years old, peaked at about ten times per day when I was in my mid-teens, and tailed off once I started having mutual sexual relations in my late teens, but no matter how much sex I had with others--and I had a lot!--I never stopped also pleasuring myself when I was alone. I was probably in my late 40s before I went a single day without making friends with my hand, unless I were in a situation where I had no privacy whatsoever.

 

Sexual counselors in the dark ages used to warn that if one got too much pleasure from masturbation, one wouldn't be able to truly enjoy "normal" sex when it happened; I never found that to be true.

[wisconsinguy]

When I was first married, Playgirl had just came into being. I got both my former wife and I a subscription to both Penthouse and Playgirl. Hardly broke the cover on the Penthouse! My right hand was busy from one month to the next. And yet, had great times producing five great kids. I guess I was pretty much Bi at that time. With a slow progression to gay. Sometimes I actually feel guilty. I am not guilty about being gay. The guilty part comes from being lucky to have at all. I have had the joy of being a dad. The joy of participating in their lives. Changing diapers, trying to help them with their ups and downs, and enjoying their love. I have 3 outstanding grandkids. And now, I have a person of choice that I can't say enough about. How lucky can a guy get?

Back to the issue. I must have been about 11 or so. For some reason, I pulled up a cushion on a couch we had. There, were a couple of "girly" magazines, from my older brother. As I quickly paged thru them, there was a "stirring," but nothing big. My mother was home. I gave them to her. She said something like, "I don't know why he likes to look at these." About the same time a Life magazine came. As I was paging through, there was one those small snapshots off to the side. It was one of an Italian model. Tall, dark, and hairy, in a bikini brief. Trim and muscular. Took it to my room and had my first self abuse issue. Off and running!!! I had a friend that we compared our statistics with. We would meet at lunch and say, "How many times did you do it yesterday?" Funny times.

[+ Robster]

I learned about masturbation in my early teens from, of all places, a Stephen King novel.

 

There's a scene in "Cujo" where he describes a guy masturbating. I decided to give it a try, and lo and behold, I quite enjoyed it. The way King described it, the guy shot a huge load when he came. I didn't want to make a big mess all over my bed, so for the longest time, I would always stop myself before I came. Then one time I was taking a bath, and started going at it. I realized that no matter how big a mess I made, I could use the water to clean it up. So I decided to go for it, each stroke bringing me closer to my very first orgasm, which I was sure would fill the tub. I've never felt so overjoyed and so disappointed at the same time.

 

But on the bright side, I discovered a wonderful new hobby, one that I enjoy to this day.

 

Rob

[whipped guy]

Well there's "self abuse" in the traditional sense... and then there's "self abuse" in the S&M sense. When the two are combined it is "self abuse in excelsis".

 

I once had a long discussion with a former EOY about how such activities when combined can have a synergistic effect. He was totally into self flagellation. For him it was not only a way to relieve tension and stress, but it heightened the effect as well. I totally agreed about that... and it is certainly a nice option...

 

However... Even better yet!!!! I prefer (no surprise as evidenced by my "Hot Wired thread" in the Fetish Forum) the nipple play approach! Yeah! A nice pair of Japanese Nipple Clamps that tighten as you pull on them with one hand while your other hand is... well you get the picture.

 

And yes, Robster is correct... as implied doing it on the shower definitely helps with the cleanup!!!

[+ sync]

I can't bring myself to think of it as abuse.