What happend here?

[nova]

Hi Gents,

I'm not a newbie but I didn't want to post this under my other forum name.

I recently had a pretty bad fall out with my go to guy so I'd love some input from both clients and escorts on this.

 

Just a brief history. I saw the guy 5 times in a period of 6-7 months. All the appointments were 2 or 3 hours. I never thought I'd become a regular but I just kept coming back for more. I would have seen him even more but he was away for the summer and then had an extensive 2 month tour of the States in the fall, so I'm lucky to even have see him that much.

 

Anyways I suddenly notice that his ad has disappeared. So I decide to contact him and he tells me that he's now retired but that he'll make me an exception. I tell him that while I'm flattered I respect his decision to retire and that I'll be completely fine if he changes his mind. He assures me he won't.

 

Then on the date of the set appointment he confirms shortly after noon. We are all set for 9:30 pm. I email him at 8pm that I'm on my way but that I have an errand to run beforehand. Unbeknownst to him the errand is actually getting him a small present. Which by the way is not the first time he's gotten something from me. Nothing major though - mostly undies and some cosmetics - but always on top of the tip, not instead. Anyways, the plan is to get him a sexy pair of undies but with so many choices I end up getting three. I'm done shopping by 9pm and I email him again that now I'm really on my way. As I press send I get an email from him at exactly 9:02 - 28 minutes before our session that he's running terribly late and the he's stuck in the suburbs (easily an hour drive from downtown) since his ride was in an accident and that he won't make it home before 11pm.

 

I offer to come and pick him up, as well as to move the session to 11 but none of it works for him. His story also changes somewhat. Basically he's lying. I even tell him that I got him three pairs of Andrew Christians that I can't return. Of course the plans for that night fall through but in one of his replies he does say "I'll make it up to you".

 

The following day I send him an email asking to clarify what he had in mind with "I'll make it up to you" and don't hear from him until after the weekend, 3 days later. Then he says he was away skiing and he'll explain himself by tomorrow. That explanation never came.

 

Now this is a guy that I held in very high regard. I was his biggest supporter. I don't write reviews but if someone inquired about him I PM-ed them recommending him. I even voted for him for EOY. And I have never asked for a special treatment or anything in return other than a regularly scheduled appointment. That's why the last minute cancellation accompanied with an irritable silence completely blindsided me. After seeing someone multiple times, I honestly hoped we were past a point where we just cancel and ignore the other.

 

All of this didn't sit well with me at all and it resulted in a very overdrawn and exhausting almost a month long email correspondence, which often felt like a monologue, and by the end of which I didn't know who I hated more - him or myself. All I wanted was for him to tell me what he wanted to do, and not to feel like a complete idiot. Even if it was the last minute decision and he realized that he would not be able to go through with the session, at least he could be man enough and apologize for ruining my night if for nothing else. Anything other than a complete silence would have been better.

 

What I tried to explain to him and he failed to understand is that he was very dear to me and that even if I never saw him again I still wanted to remember him as a wonderful guy that he was during our sessions and not some jerk that treated me poorly at the end. In all honesty I still don't think he's a jerk, and I think that he's going through a transitional period himself. He's got a new boyfriend and I assume that he quit the biz for him. But regardless, I felt treated like shit at the end. And I'm stressing that I'm not pissed off that he changed his mind or that he didn't want to see me anymore. Shit happens. But I really didn't like that after the last minute cancellation, and after telling me that he'll make it up to me, and after telling me that he'll explain himself he couldn't at least reach out to me and tell me what was going on. I just wanted to smooth things over so that we don't end our engagement on a bad note.

 

I have never had a positive experience turn into a negative so quickly, and was completely blindsided and puzzled with the entire thing.

 

Am I a spoiled brat to expect a notification from my guy when he decides to retire? Is it too much to ask for an apology/explanation after a last minute cancelation? Am I in the wrong here or is this a standard? I know that we're supposed to gift an envelope at the end but to me that never meant that all the respect goes out the window once were off the clock?

 

And even if he had played me, and is a complete asshole, which again I honestly don't think he is, wouldn't it be smarter to smooth things over and keep the possibility of a renewed engagement open just in case he ever decides to escort again? Nothing here makes sense to me.

[+ DickyF]

Since he basically canceled 28 minutes beforehand he doesn't really owe you anything or much anyway. He probably didn't really mean he was going to make it up to you. Or maybe he meant it at the time but things have changed. I suspect he is pretty young? When I was in my early 20s I often over-promised. Plus he may be dealing with an unforgiving bf!

 

This can be the challenge with BFE especially when it's over a period of time- the client has to accept it's only temporary.

 

Hang on to the undies; someone else will come along you can give them to.

If this escort does come back into the biz you can then decide if you want another session. Otherwise stop torturing yourself by trying to reach him. That WONT work or help. I know!

[ZhenXBear]

I really feel for you here and I understand why you feel the way you do. While, I am new to all of this, I can clearly understand why you wouldn't want to post under your other forum name. It would be difficult for me as well, to come to terms with if I was in your situation. You made a bit of an emotional investment in this person and truly enjoyed your time together and felt you'd established some sort of rapport with him that would at least afford you some common courtesies and honesty. It's really a shame that he didn't just tell you that what was going on, because it sounds like you would have been very understanding about the situation. Why he chose to handle things this way do seem contrary to how you've described him, so it definitely sounds like there's more to this than meets the eye. I also think it's pretty natural to have the "Darn it, I should have known better" syndrome, but please don't beat yourself up on this. If anything, be thankful that you allowed yourself to feel close to him. It's validation that you've got the emotional depth within yourself to care deeply for someone, even if it wasn't reciprocated.

 

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in life, is that sometimes things do not come to fruition even if you do everything right; I've found this to be the case most often in interpersonal relationships more so than career goals or academics. When I finally came out, and started dating at 23, it was perhaps the most confusing thing to me to bend my will in a specific direction regarding relationships and not have things turn out the way I expected. I was so use to this happening in all other facets of my life that I assumed this would be the case in matters of the heart; it wasn't, but it did provide a valuable life lesson for me.

 

When I finally did decide to reach out to this forum and ask for advice about hiring someone, I really should have done my homework better and read all of the posts before doing it. I probably could have saved myself from some of the experiences and a significant amount of money, but I didn't know any better. It's not that my first hire was "bad" but I realize now that my compassion, kindness, and easy going nature were probably taken advantage of in reality. It took an experience with professional companion to be my slap in the face wake up call to reality. I'm embarrassed to admit some of the things that happened, but I will anyway because I went into the experience thinking I knew how to handle myself since after all, I've had 4 "real" relationships under my belt, one spanning over 7 years. I was wrong and life let me know it.

 

I wanted things to go well so I put my best foot forward. I explained to him upfront exactly what I was looking for: A "boyfriend" experience (something I desperately missed after the demise of my last relationship). A person to meet with regularly who I could feel connected with and work on building a friendship with and he assured me that this was exactly what he wanted/needed; a regular guy. It would be perfect for him. Our first "date" was 4 hours. He charged me his overnight rate. I should have known something was up when he mentioned he loved underwear. Would I like to see him in a new pair of AC's? Sure, I would. I've got an idea, would you take me shopping for a pair? I was a bit taken back, but sure why not. Would I buy him two pair? Or a monthly subscription? Every time I yielded, he advanced a bit further until I started to push back. He wanted to know what we were going to do for our date. He had an idea. "I love spas, but I've never been. Could we go to one?" I yielded. Our first date, we went to brunch, then to a luxury spa for personal massages. He texted his friends, boyfriend, mother and anyone else on social media the entire time we were together. We ended up at his place at the end of our time together with literally 40 minutes to spare. We eventually end up semi naked kissing, sucking, ect....he starts jerking off....he cums. He looks at me "Did you cum?" I respond puzzled. "No?" His response "Oh?" Rolls over into spoon/cuddle position and makes half hearted conversation. Until I feel I want to leave. I do leave. The drive home, I think about the whole situation. I analyze it. Is this the way it is, I ask myself?

 

The first scenario semi-repeats itself on two other occasions; a different restaurant, a different luxury outing/shopping. I found myself altering my schedule to accommodate our visits, because his schedule was chaotic. Each time I left feeling only marginally satisfied on all fronts. "Perhaps this just the way it is." I think to myself. Never once having the sense to come back to this forum and ask people..."Is this how this goes?" There was always an underlying sense of extreme financial desperation on his part and it was very true; he was in the red line there based on our conversations. I'm angry at myself for not realizing, not researching, and not having the common sense to figure out that my kindness, generosity and compassion were being taken advantage of on a number of levels, but at the same time, I'm thankful that I did finally get off the sidelines and get "jump started".

 

My decision to hire a well reviewed professional companion was the best I've made. It painted a stark yet beautiful contrast between the experiences that was so dramatic it was like being dowsed in ice water. Looking back I realize that my emotional vulnerability played heavily in my decision to continue and my confidence based on my past experiences in relationships did not prepare me at all for this venue. That said, I debated on ever publishing this in the forum, because it hurt my pride that I could be bested so easily. Ultimately, when I read your post today I thought that other people need to know this so they to can learn. It also makes me infinitely appreciative of those men who professionally provide meaningful companionship; to whom this applies: You are beautiful, gifted people.

[+ WmClarke]

Sorry that happened to you nova but I think SundayZip's advice is good.

 

And thanks for sharing, ZhenXBear. I think your story will help others.

[AresEscortNYC]

I too am sorry this happened. It's not right or fair. But I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you suspected he was in a transitional point in life. It sounds like he has extremely conflicted feelings about escorting, and I think that even nice humans make errors in judgement when they are at odds with themselves. It sounds like he did indeed like you, otherwise he wouldn't have wavered on his "retired" status. A new relationship and the spectre of "infidelity" may have also been weighing on his mind. Again, I'm not saying how he handled it was fair or nice. But solely based on how you describe your past history with him, I doubt it was malicious or pre-meditatedly mean either. There's fight or flight response, but a 3rd reaction is "freeze". This would account for his non-decision.

[+ purplekow]

Does he have a pet rabbit?

[Guest Starbuck]

"What happened here" is that you let your humanity get mixed up in a business arrangement. I would be the last to criticize you for this -- others might; there are some who think that we need to keep our emotions out of this. When we open ourselves up to others as human beings, we do it with hope and faith that it will be reciprocated in kind. It leaves us vulnerable. Sometimes there are rewards; sometimes there's disappointment.

[+ sync]

"What happened here" is that you let you humanity get mixed up in a business arrangement. I would be the last to criticize you for this -- others might; there are some who think that we need to keep our emotions out of this. When we open ourselves up to others as human beings, we do it with hope and faith that it will be reciprocated in kind. It leaves us vulnerable. Sometimes there are rewards; sometimes there's disappointment.

 

+1

[bigvalboy]

"What happened here" is that you let you humanity get mixed up in a business arrangement. I would be the last to criticize you for this -- others might; there are some who think that we need to keep our emotions out of this. When we open ourselves up to others as human beings, we do it with hope and faith that it will be reciprocated in kind. It leaves us vulnerable. Sometimes there are rewards; sometimes there's disappointment.

 

 

Double like....

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

"What happened here" is that you let you humanity get mixed up in a business arrangement. I would be the last to criticize you for this -- others might; there are some who think that we need to keep our emotions out of this. When we open ourselves up to others as human beings, we do it with hope and faith that it will be reciprocated in kind. It leaves us vulnerable. Sometimes there are rewards; sometimes there's disappointment.

 

+1

Now get back up on a different horse and trust him too...

Never stop.

[ZhenXBear]

"What happened here" is that you let you humanity get mixed up in a business arrangement. I would be the last to criticize you for this -- others might; there are some who think that we need to keep our emotions out of this. When we open ourselves up to others as human beings, we do it with hope and faith that it will be reciprocated in kind. It leaves us vulnerable. Sometimes there are rewards; sometimes there's disappointment.

 

Very well summarized, Starbuck. The decision to humanize the experience is clearly a personal one. I realized early in life that it was the only context in which I would ever be able to be intimate with someone, so for me it's never a choice just an integral part of who I am. In doing so I assume the risk and or reap the reward. I'd rather take that chance than try to suppress aspects of myself that are ingrained into the very fiber of my being. Admittedly, I have had losses but at the same time remain optimistic that when two good people connect great experiences unfold. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[nova]

Thank you all for the replies. Starbuck that's just beautifully put and very comforting. Thank you.

 

Now I have to address a couple of things.

 

This all happened a couple of months ago and I didn't want to bring it up in the forum until I have cooled down. And I did get hurt I'm not going to lie. But I'm really not emotional about it at this point, and I really have no expectations that I will ever hear from him or see him again.

 

Now I really wouldn't qualify the nature of our relationship as BFE. In fact the first time I saw him I said: Oh My God you're gorgeous! and his reply was: You're not going to fall in love with me? So that's the first hurdle we cleared. lol

 

But seriously, our sessions were more about exploring and experimenting. Actually I feel I'm usually pretty good at keeping my emotions in check and even in this case I really never revealed too much about myself. On the other hand he has shared a lot more. Nothing too personal, but let's put it this way: I know more about him than about some coworkers I've worked with for years. He told me about his current crushes and past relationships, showed me personal photos, shared some scary escorting stories, talked about trying to get into grad school - just everyday stuff.

 

I also need to stress that he never asked for presents or tried to milk more money out of me. On the contrary it was me who told him on several occasions that his rates should go up. So he was never the scammer kind, nor did I have a false pretense that we'll ever be anything more than buddies at best.

 

We are worlds apart. I'm very much in a closet and have been exploring this side of my sexuality for only a couple of years now. He's a loud and proud gay male who openly escorts and has even dabbled into porn. The generational gap between us is not huge but we're at very different points in our lives. I mean we really don't have that much in common. He was my go to person for "all things gay" for a lack of a better word - more like my mentor than anything else.

 

So I did and still do care for the guy and wish him nothing but the best. In fact I'm posting this under a different name so that no one can figure out who he is. But I don't want this confused with any kind of emotional attachment. I did hope that whenever out "relationship" ended, we would stay in touch and maybe exchange an email here and there or maybe have an occasional lunch and catch up. I've had some major breakthroughs with him and I'm eternally grateful for those. So nothing would make me happier than to know that he's doing well and that he is happy. As I said I was his greatest supporter. That's it.

 

I did learn that I do hate being ignored. If I ask a question and I always ask politely but I do expect an answer. Until this experience I had no idea how stubborn I could be and it actually caught me off guard. But now I see it everywhere else in my life including my relationship with coworkers. Maybe I'm a lot more OCD than I thought.

 

Anyways all I wanted was: "I'm sorry to cancel on you but I'm serious with my bf and I really can't do this anymore."

 

But that's not going to happen and as much as I can be puzzled by it I just have to accept it. And whoever said it, it might just be his youth.

 

Now, I've had last minute cancellations twice prior to this, both first time appointments and they both made me feel like shit. I don't know about you guys but it makes me so insignificant and small and yet there's nothing I can do about it. So then to have one coming from a guy I've seen numerous times and who I was just starting to trust it did sting a lot more.

 

So what do I do to ensure this doesn't happen again. Is it OK to tell an escort, not on a first appointment but if I ever decide to be someone's regular again, cancellations are fine up until 2 hrs before the appointment, after that we owe each other an extra hour for the next session. So if he bails he'll donate an hour in time, if I cancel I pay him for an hour longer than the actual session. Fellow escorts, does this sound like something you'd agree to? I would even wave the extra hour rule if I really believed an excuse, since I do get that shit happens even to the best of us. I just want to take some precautions to minimize it from happening again.

 

The other question I have is about longer engagements. I really don't like one hour appointments. They always feel rushed and empty. But on the other hand if I see someone for a longer session and I come back for more it will be because I like their personality and I like spending time with them, on top of all the other fun stuff of course. And I also do love to cuddle and talk afterwards. So logistically the more I see a guy the better I'll get to know him. So how do you see someone on a regular bases and not become friendly on some level? Is that even possible? Or maybe I'm just not cut for this hobby?

 

I would also like to hear from both clients and escorts, who have broken off their "regular" engagements. Do you send your client/escort a good bye email? Do you have one last go around? Do you just simply go your separate ways? Is this a reason anyone prefers to sample as much as possible and not really go back for seconds?

 

Again thank you for all the comments, advice and support. It's really appreciated.

[jackpack]

You should always book for at least 2 hours-

I would also recommend that you try a real dating site- It sounds like you might be ready for a real, life boyfriend experience!

[LookingAround]

Bottom line an escort / client involvement is make believe on almost every level. You've made it serious. Oil and water. It's a pretend involvement. Therefore you must keep all your expectations in check.

[rvwnsd]

Bottom line an escort / client involvement is make believe on almost every level. You've made it serious. Oil and water. It's a pretend involvement. Therefore you must keep all your expectations in check.

 

Well said.

 

...Now I really wouldn't qualify the nature of our relationship as BFE. In fact the first time I saw him I said: Oh My God you're gorgeous! and his reply was: You're not going to fall in love with me? So that's the first hurdle we cleared. lol

 

I think it is important to make a distinction between a boyfriend experience (BFE) and a boyfriend. Based on what you have described, you had a couple of boyfriend experience dates with this guy. However, he was not your boyfriend.

 

...But seriously, our sessions were more about exploring and experimenting. Actually I feel I'm usually pretty good at keeping my emotions in check and even in this case I really never revealed too much about myself. On the other hand he has shared a lot more. Nothing too personal, but let's put it this way: I know more about him than about some coworkers I've worked with for years. He told me about his current crushes and past relationships, showed me personal photos, shared some scary escorting stories, talked about trying to get into grad school - just everyday stuff.

 

I also need to stress that he never asked for presents or tried to milk more money out of me. On the contrary it was me who told him on several occasions that his rates should go up. So he was never the scammer kind, nor did I have a false pretense that we'll ever be anything more than buddies at best.

 

We are worlds apart. I'm very much in a closet and have been exploring this side of my sexuality for only a couple of years now. He's a loud and proud gay male who openly escorts and has even dabbled into porn. The generational gap between us is not huge but we're at very different points in our lives. I mean we really don't have that much in common. He was my go to person for "all things gay" for a lack of a better word - more like my mentor than anything else.

 

So I did and still do care for the guy and wish him nothing but the best. In fact I'm posting this under a different name so that no one can figure out who he is. But I don't want this confused with any kind of emotional attachment. I did hope that whenever out "relationship" ended, we would stay in touch and maybe exchange an email here and there or maybe have an occasional lunch and catch up. I've had some major breakthroughs with him and I'm eternally grateful for those. So nothing would make me happier than to know that he's doing well and that he is happy. As I said I was his greatest supporter. That's it...

 

What you have described is emotional involvement. It is OK to be emotionally involved. As humans, we have emotions.

 

...Anyways all I wanted was: "I'm sorry to cancel on you but I'm serious with my bf and I really can't do this anymore."

 

But that's not going to happen and as much as I can be puzzled by it I just have to accept it. And whoever said it, it might just be his youth...

 

It could also be that he does not know what to say and, therefore, is not saying anything.

 

...Now, I've had last minute cancellations twice prior to this, both first time appointments and they both made me feel like shit. I don't know about you guys but it makes me so insignificant and small and yet there's nothing I can do about it....

 

I can understand where being cancelled on makes you mad or sad, but I think you are giving other people way too much power over you by feeling insignificant and small when they cancel on you. That's their "stuff," not yours.

 

...So what do I do to ensure this doesn't happen again....

 

There's nothing you can do to prevent someone from canceling on you. You can't control them. You can control how you react, but that is going to take practice. Lots of practice. I suspect being cancelled on will always sting.

 

...

Is it OK to tell an escort, not on a first appointment but if I ever decide to be someone's regular again, cancellations are fine up until 2 hrs before the appointment, after that we owe each other an extra hour for the next session. So if he bails he'll donate an hour in time, if I cancel I pay him for an hour longer than the actual session. Fellow escorts, does this sound like something you'd agree to? I would even wave the extra hour rule if I really believed an excuse, since I do get that shit happens even to the best of us. I just want to take some precautions to minimize it from happening again...

 

You could tell someone this, but I doubt it will do any good. If someone canceled on you within two hours, they could easily never see you again and get out of the extra hour commitment you are looking for.

 

... I really don't like one hour appointments. They always feel rushed and empty. But on the other hand if I see someone for a longer session and I come back for more it will be because I like their personality and I like spending time with them, on top of all the other fun stuff of course. And I also do love to cuddle and talk afterwards. So logistically the more I see a guy the better I'll get to know him. So how do you see someone on a regular bases and not become friendly on some level? Is that even possible? Or maybe I'm just not cut for this hobby?...

 

I think there is a difference between becoming friendly on some level and emotionally attached to someone. Becoming friendly with someone you spend a lot of time with (or even someone you spend a little time with) is natural. I don't see how one could spend a lot of time with someone and not become friendly. However, what you described a few paragraphs above sounds like you wanted to become friends with this guy. That's different than becoming friendly.

 

... I would also like to hear from both clients and escorts, who have broken off their "regular" engagements. Do you send your client/escort a good bye email? Do you have one last go around? Do you just simply go your separate ways?...

 

I simply stopped contacting the guy. There is a guy who kept asking me if I wanted to hire him and I finally sent him a message stating "Hey, thanks for keeping in touch. I'm not interested in hiring right now, but if and when that changes I will let you know."

 

... Is this a reason anyone prefers to sample as much as possible and not really go back for seconds?...

 

Although I like to hire guys that I like again and again, I also like a little variety. Some guys I hire pretty regularly, some occasionally, others I hire once and I'm done.

[liubit]

Very thoughtful replies and comments on a topic that, in one way or another, affects all of us clients. My two cents. What has worked for me is "to fall passionately in love one hour at a time". What I mean is that when I am with an escort, I give my best, I try to establish a bond, but I am perfectly aware that this will last only for the duration of the meeting, be it one hour, an overnight, a weekend. When it is over, the bubble bursts and reality sets in. In the twenty-plus years of my "hiring career" I have been able to keep this attitude almost 100% of the time. On the very rare occasions where I have felt that things might get out of hand, I have stopped seeing the guy in question. A couple of times, it has been because HE was the one falling for me (yes, it happens). No hard feelings. I know that this can sound cold and calculating, but it has helped me keep things in perspective and has made my sex life rich and fulfilling, with no strings attached. Like rvwnsd, I frequently see the same boy again and again, but also like variety. Oh, and I do have a steady boyfriend who has fulfilled my emotional needs for the past 12 years...

[nova]

I have to say that this thread has been an eye opening experience for me.

While I was always aware that falling in love with an escort/client is a big no, no, and I took all the precautions for that not to happen, I never thought that any emotional investment is in the same category.

And in all honesty I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely shut off that component. I'm a living breathing human being, and the more time I spend with someone the more I'll get to know them and consequently I will become more invested.

 

With the escort in question, I can honestly say that I was never in love with him. I don't even think that there was a potential for a great friendship. As I said, I don't think that we were that compatible at all. He was more of a mentor, and I greatly appreciated that, but I was always aware that I needed him more than he needed me. Basically I had a lot to learn from him, and I don't think there was much in it for him other than some financial gain. That's a pretty bad foundation for any friendship. But he was definitely a lot more than just an acquaintance. That's why I put it in a "friendly" category. Not someone I would regularly hang out with outside of the allotted appointment time, but someone I wouldn't mind meeting for a drink/coffee or lunch once or twice a year. I hope this clarifies what I meant with a friendly relationship and the level of emotional investment I had in this guy. But you're all right in pointing out that I was definitely invested on some level in this "relationship".

 

At this point I do have to rethink the rules of the game. I honestly don't think I can ever be completely detached from such an experience or if I was it just wouldn't be an experience I'm interested in having, and even less paying good money for it. So with that in mind I either have to learn how to deal with this better, or just stop hiring altogether. Because I really don't want to go through this again.

[liubit]

Please don't stop hiring altogether. It is soooooooooooo much fun!!!! Don't, please don't!

[down_to_business]

Thank you all for the replies. Starbuck that's just beautifully put and very comforting. Thank you.

 

 

So what do I do to ensure this doesn't happen again. Is it OK to tell an escort, not on a first appointment but if I ever decide to be someone's regular again, cancellations are fine up until 2 hrs before the appointment, after that we owe each other an extra hour for the next session. So if he bails he'll donate an hour in time, if I cancel I pay him for an hour longer than the actual session. Fellow escorts, does this sound like something you'd agree to? I would even wave the extra hour rule if I really believed an excuse, since I do get that shit happens even to the best of us. I just want to take some precautions to minimize it from happening again. Don't do it. You don't want to have this conversation with an escort.

 

The other question I have is about longer engagements. I really don't like one hour appointments. They always feel rushed and empty. But on the other hand if I see someone for a longer session and I come back for more it will be because I like their personality and I like spending time with them, on top of all the other fun stuff of course. And I also do love to cuddle and talk afterwards. So logistically the more I see a guy the better I'll get to know him. So how do you see someone on a regular bases and not become friendly on some level? Is that even possible? Or maybe I'm just not cut for this hobby? It's only possible based on your own personality and actions. I am not one who could do this because at some point the relationship I am building will either morph into something else or die. Try not to mix up being friendly and pleasant with someone as being a real friend. Maybe you could if you spaced hirings with the escort in longer intervals (like 6 months+) or always made sure you saw another escort while you were still seeing this escort. Again, what will work is very dependent on you.

 

I would also like to hear from both clients and escorts, who have broken off their "regular" engagements. Do you send your client/escort a good bye email? Do you have one last go around? Do you just simply go your separate ways? Is this a reason anyone prefers to sample as much as possible and not really go back for seconds? Clean breaks are usually best in this area. Have your last goodbye in person if you must or need closure, but realize that the escort is unlikely to want or need that kind of closure and you will likely come across as "high maintenance". Also, if you ever change your mind, you will have lost all credibility with the escort in question and they would probably decline to see you. If you simply said nothing and walked away, you could go back any time you wanted to.

Again thank you for all the comments, advice and support. It's really appreciated.