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Returning to escorting and I have some questions... (hopefully not too n00by)


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For starters, I've been lurking here for a little bit and I want to say that this forum seems really nice and I very much like community and discussions here.

 

That said, maybe a decade or so ago, I was a young, naiive escort who was frequently drunk or high and turned tricks when I could to scare up some extra money because I was poor and needed to pay bills. I realise this wasn't professional in any way, and I never treated it like a business, and several of the escorts here definitely have this stuff down to a science, so I hope some of you can help.

 

I'm now 35. I've always been bisexual, but lately my interest in men has risen to rival my interest in women. Im a gay submissive by nature, preferring older men to dominate and humiliate me, and Im also genderfluid, meaning I like dressing up and assuming the role of a female for certain purposes, but I generally present my gender as male, and also enjoy vanilla gay sex as a male bottom. I do not like penetrating men, but would be comfortable doing non-penetrative male domination. I also enjoy fetishes like watersports, BDSM and CBT.

 

All things considered, I would ultimately like to do fetish and BDSM work along these lines, but would also very much enjoy just vanilla bottom gay escort work as well.

 

I am tall, good looking, look much younger than my age, have a decently sized cock (6.5) and while Im not obese, Im about 20 pounds overweight, however I wear it well and Im not flabby or unappealing naked. I am currently dieting and working out, and in a few months time, my slight paunch should be gone.

 

Ultimately, Id like a little advice on how to proceed with finding clients given the above parameters, and whether or not I would be desirable to potential clients given my age, the specificity of the conditions under which I'd like to work, and my body type (at present at least... I should be thinner in a few months time). When I last escorted, Erotic Services was still a heading under which you could post on craigslist, and it was a bit like the wild west. Not so much anymore. Rentboy seems a bit too polished for me at the moment, and Adam4Adam requires a subscription to post PRO ads. The last time I escorted, I was also semi-homeless, so finding johns on the street wasn't very difficult either, but Im not exactly raring to go proposition random guys underneath the bridge for sex. At this point in my life, I rent a house, have been financially independent, do not use drugs or alcohol, and I would like to proceed safely and as sane as possible, however, Backpage seems to be the only real viable option for connecting with clients, but given their terms of service, I feel sort of uncomfortable laying out everything I provide or do not provide, in case I post an ad and it doesn't get approved.

 

Thank you in advance and apologies if this is overly long or not appropriate for this subforum. I'll happily edit or delete, if so.

 

Greetings and and wishes of safety and prosperity to all of you, regardless!

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Guest Starbuck

There’s a line in the film “All About Eve” delivered by Birdie (the great Thelma Ritter) …

 

What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end.

 

It came to mind as I read your post. Although I’m not the one to tell you how to proceed, I do have one suggestion and one question.

 

The suggestion: Streamline your list of interests at least to the point where it’s not so confusing.

 

The question: What leads you to the conclusion that Backpage is the only real viable option for connecting with clients?

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Yeah, Im not going to make my advertisements a short novel like my post up there, lol. Currently Im listing my interests as something to the effect of "primarily a bottom, also accomodating fetish, kink, roleplay and BDSM." Im still not really sure about how to negotiate a session with a client beforehand, especially over the phone or text, as Im guessing most would like to keep that type of discussion "off the books" as it were, in case there were every any legal repercussions for them. The way I figure, I'll talk with them in person, beforehand about what they would like to do for our session and if it doesn't fit my interests, politely decline the session, thank them for their time and leave? Is that acceptable? I hope that wouldn't be considered wasting someones time, but I could totally see how it could be. Before, when I used to escort, I would just show up high or drunk and do whatever, lol. Not so much the case now. I would actually like to be as professional as possible.

 

As far as I could discern, and for my current level of involvement, including investing in advertisement, Backpage ads are only 5 bucks, there is little competition on that site in my area, and most of the guys are fairly average to somewhat off the beaten path. Rentboy guys are just straight up studs. I can't compete with them. They're all model hot with chiseled abs and dolled up young twinks. Im actually quite attractive, but like I said, Im just a little doughy and I don't have and cant afford to get great pictures taken of myself right now. Maybe in a few months time I'll put an ad up on Rentboy, but I don't feel like it would be a good choice for me right now. Unfortunately, Adam4Adam ads cost 35 bucks a month because you have to have a supporter account, and unfortunately, Im so broke at the moment that 35 bucks is breaking the bank for me. =(

 

If you or anyone else know of other free sites where I can connect with clients, Id love to hear about them!

 

Basically what I'm thinking is maybe I can find a handful of clients using backpage and use that to fund a few more ads over the next couple of months, work out a bit, get some nice pictures taken and then put some better ads up on rentboy and adam4adam as well.

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Well this is a free site and there is an Escort Travel section at the bottom. Have a friend take a picture or two that accents your assets and post at the bottom that you are traveling to where ever it is you are and post the pictures and ask that they Private message you here. From there you can use more traditional communication. Depending on where you are, this site may get you a few patrons. Once you have some cash, place a rentboy ad or rentmen ad, get some nice pictures and off you go. You are a service provider, you cannot worry about not measuring up to the other guys. State your services, price your services accordingly and you should do fine. If you do not look like a $400 an hour guy do not suggest $400 an hour.

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Thanks!

 

I figured the travel section was literally for escorts who are travelling, and Im trying to build a client base in my area, though I guess I am technically travelling around my area, as I only do outcall, lol. I'll definitely look into that as well. Thank you for the "not worrying about measuring up" advice, too. Definitely kind of self-conscious at the moment. I think a few positive encounters will help me get my nerves back. Yeah, at the moment I feel Im charging a pretty reasonable or standard price for my services. Thanks for the help!

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Yeah, Im not going to make my advertisements a short novel like my post up there, lol. Currently Im listing my interests as something to the effect of "primarily a bottom, also accomodating fetish, kink, roleplay and BDSM." Im still not really sure about how to negotiate a session with a client beforehand, especially over the phone or text, as Im guessing most would like to keep that type of discussion "off the books" as it were, in case there were every any legal repercussions for them. The way I figure, I'll talk with them in person, beforehand about what they would like to do for our session and if it doesn't fit my interests, politely decline the session, thank them for their time and leave? Is that acceptable? I hope that's wouldn't be considered wasting someones time, but I could totally see how it could be. Before, when I used to escort, I would just show up high or drunk and do whatever, lol. Not so much the case now. I would actually like to be as professional as possible.

 

As far as I could discern, and for my current level of involvement, including investing in advertisement, Backpage ads are only 5 bucks, there is little competition on that site in my area, and most of the guys are fairly average to somewhat off the beaten path. Rentboy guys are just straight up studs. I can't compete with them. They're all model hot with chiseled abs and dolled up young twinks. Im actually quite attractive, but like I said, Im just a little doughy and I don't have and cant afford to get great pictures taken of myself right now. Maybe in a few months time I'll put an ad up on Rentboy, but I don't feel like it would be a good choice for me right now. Unfortunately, Adam4Adam ads cost 35 bucks a month because you have to have a supporter account, and unfortunately, Im so broke at the moment that 35 bucks is breaking the bank for me. =(

 

If you or anyone else know of other free sites where I can connect with clients, Id love to hear about them!

 

Basically what I'm thinking is maybe I can find a handful of clients using backpage and use that to fund a few more ads over the next couple of months, work out a bit, get some nice pictures taken and then put some better ads up on rentboy and adam4adam as well.

 

Frankly, some of those Rentboy ads can be too over produced for my taste and at times they just don't do anything for me. Some Backpage ads seem more real and consequently hold more interest for me. Having said that, I tend to find Rentboy ads are better represented on here in as far as readily available reviews are concerned. This makes them safer and more reliable in my mind. Ultimately a good review in the reviews section on this site or good feedback on this forum is the clincher for me.

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They look fake, haha! Gay escorts like that don't exist! Or at least that's what I keep telling myself... stupid self esteem issues. I totally get why women have body dysmorphia, that's for sure, lol. Hopefully I can find some people in my area and build a nice reputation for myself. I feel quite a bit safer about potential transactions resulting from this site than backpage or even the other sites, as I am a little concerned about stings on top of all my other considerations and concerns =|

 

Mostly I would like to find some good regulars I connect with and have a good time with and just kind of build off that. I don't know if many escorts actually enjoy their work on level of actually being sexually fulfilling, but given the right circumstances and clients I absolutely could... why not get paid on top of that, lol? It beats slaving my butt off for some minimum employer who doesn't give a toss about me (sorry, Im bitter about my last few jobs... half of the reason I decided to give this a go again).

 

Thanks!

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Portland's a beautiful place. Sometimes I wish I lived there.

 

But "Rentboy guys are just straight up studs. I can't compete with them. They're all model hot with chiseled abs and dolled up young twinks."? I don't think so. Not in the current Rentboy list for Portland. Anyone, I wouldn't really want someone in either of those categories, and I don't think I'm unusual. Lots of people like "boy next door".

 

Is Tiger on the forum? I know he's been discussed, he's in Portland, and I don't think you'd be in competition with him. He might be able to give you some local advice.

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Portland's a beautiful place. Sometimes I wish I lived there.

 

But "Rentboy guys are just straight up studs. I can't compete with them. They're all model hot with chiseled abs and dolled up young twinks."? I don't think so. Not in the current Rentboy list for Portland. Anyone, I wouldn't really want someone in either of those categories, and I don't think I'm unusual. Lots of people like "boy next door".

 

Is Tiger on the forum? I know he's been discussed, he's in Portland, and I don't think you'd be in competition with him. He might be able to give you some local advice.

 

Weird! I did a search for Portland on rentboy and all it returned were pictures that looked like they were glamour shots lifted from porno sites, a few super cute twinks and one kind of "guy next door type."

 

I wonder if you get more results as a paid member or something? Maybe I just didn't click on the next page...

 

Thanks for that, though. Definitely helps to know that there not everyone is looking for the Conan the Barbarian type!

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Perhaps working on your Profile and Signature would be useful?

 

Indeed. Wasn't expecting this much interactivity and I've been busy actually...

 

Just got back from my first date since starting again.

 

Had a wonderful time! More encounters like that and I'll be a happy little escort.

 

Thanks everyone!

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They look fake, haha! Gay escorts like that don't exist! Or at least that's what I keep telling myself... stupid self esteem issues.

 

Escorts that look like gods do, in fact, exist. Rather than allowing those images to disempower you, you can allow them to inspire and motivate you. There's always something you can do today, right now, to narrow the gap between where you are and where you want to be... eat a little more, eat a little less, get a great haircut, etc. I always enjoy complimenting men on their haircuts.

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Escorts that look like gods do, in fact, exist. Rather than allowing those images to disempower you, you can allow them to inspire and motivate you. There's always something you can do today, right now, to narrow the gap between where you are and where you want to be... eat a little more, eat a little less, get a great haircut, etc. I always enjoy complimenting men on their haircuts.

 

Just to be totally clear, I wasn't all insinuating or trying to be disparaging about super chiseled guys with awesome photoshoots. It takes a lot of discipline and hard work to get to that point, and I respect and admire that immensely. Moreover, I was simply expressing some of my frustration with how I perceive myself, and the body image that I'd like, but have to work toward (as you very clearly ascertained!).

 

The biggest problem here is that I shave my head, so I don't even have a haircut for you to compliment, lol.

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Sexy has no standard, if you ask me. If you rock it, you're a rock star.

 

I actually could grow a full head of stupid thick hair if I wanted to. I used to have super long hair, and then (well maintained) dreds, but long hair (or any kind of hair really) is such a pain in the butt to manage. So much time spent on styling and preening... Every month or two when I start to look ragged, I take a pair of clippers to my head and voila! Free haircut, don't have to ever style it, showers are quicker and I can go from alarm clock to in the car in 20 minutes flat. Getting to that age where utility is much preferred over being ostentatious... not that "having a haircut" constitutes "being ostentatious", but I can do without all the superfluous responsibility that comes with maintaining a hairstyle, lol.

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It's not a question of standards. More one of what looks good. Since what looks good is a matter of individual taste, it is antithetical to the idea of a standard. My idea of what looks good constantly evolves.

 

As an escort, you need to package yourself - create a brand, even if your brand is that you have no brand.

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Guest Starbuck

Just to clarify--because I may have missed something in the whirlwind pace of this thread--but did you just go from thinking about escorting again to escorting again in less than 24 hours? Was there an ad already up before your first post?

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