Is a bi- escort out of the picture for you if he has been reviewed by a woman?

[+ quoththeraven]

Guess I'm not a gold-star gay 'cause I sure don't care if a guy I hire also does nookie with a girl. Girls are nice people too (well, some of them).

 

You're still a gold-star gay. Just not an uptight one.

 

And thanks, TruHart1, who I feel compelled to disclose I've bonded with over a mutual love for the TV show Hannibal and its stars, Michael Ealy, and Eric Christian Olsen's butt, among other things.

[rguer]

If I have sex only with people who have never had sex with someone I would not have sex with, I will never have sex with anyone, except the occasional virgin.

[Dave]

It's widely known that the escorts I've hired see female clients; the website of one of them makes pretty clear if you look at it closely. I'm sure they're aware that this will cost them some male clients. I assume serving the broadest (oh, the pun) possible clientele, being true to themselves, and the fees from the female clients they see makes up for it.

 

being an openly bi male - in both escorting and my personal life, to everyone - has meant I've been "out of the picture" for as long as I've been out. which has been my whole adult life. and I'm not alone; this is often cited as the number one frustration for out bisexuals. there is still rampant biphobia, in this country and worldwide, which consistently excludes us from social interaction and/or relationships with people. yep, I've had several international incidents with this, too.

 

as an openly bi escort (this page on my website pretty much makes it crystal clear), I've known from the getgo that there are guys who won't hire me just because I like pussy. as I recently advised a well-known 'scort here, who's struggling with his own view of who hires him and why (and who doesnt, and why not), we can't all be everything to everyone. knowing that - or rather, accepting that - frees you up to be yourself... honestly offering what you are and what you like to do. let those that are not interested in you turn the page (or click to another profile). I've never regretted being out about my orientation and offering my services to the sexes I love. yes, QTR, it's about being true to yourself - you're right.

 

This revulsion at hiring bi escorts smacks of close-mindedness.

I would agree. one good way to test one's own version of LGBTQ (and even straight) close-mindedness is to take a sentence you are thinking... and replace the letter you've used to speak about, with your letter... and see if it sounds fucked up.

 

an example -

"Wish me luck - next weekend we're visiting my lesbian aunt and her lover. We'll be smack dab in the lesbian lifestyle for two full days!"

replaced with -

"Wish me luck - next weekend we're visiting my gay uncle and his lover. We'll be smack dab in the gay lifestyle for two full days!"

[+ quoththeraven]

there is still rampant biphobia, in this country and worldwide, which consistently excludes us from social interaction and/or relationships with people. yep, I've had several international incidents with this, too.

 

Literally international or figuratively? Sorry, I'm trying to figure out what you're getting at.

 

What you suggest people do with respect to flipping the scenario is useful to test one's thinking in all sorts of situations. I often mentally apply it to gender, usually along the axis of if it's something that's okay and natural-sounding for a man to do, why isn't it okay for a woman.

 

Thanks for affirming what I said about being true to oneself; I figured we'd be on the same wavelength.

[TruHart1]

You're still a gold-star gay. Just not an uptight one.

 

And thanks, TruHart1, who I feel compelled to disclose I've bonded with over a mutual love for the TV show Hannibal and its stars, Michael Ealy, and Eric Christian Olsen's butt, among other things.

 

And an appreciation from me, QTR, for turning me on to all the M/M fanfic and slash art/photos available out there on this internet thingy! Bonding with you is a pleasure and certainly has nothing to do with your gender/orientation!!!

 

TruHart1

[+ FreshFluff]

Gallahad, thanks for the invite to the conversation.

 

I think people should hire escorts to whom they are attracted. Some clients are attracted only to guys who identify as straight, others only to gold-star gay men. Some don't care. (Per the topic of the thread, I'm talking about male escorts only.) However, if the goal is to weed out escorts who are open to paid sex with women, it seems rather arbitrary to reject escorts who happen to have reviews from from women. Because of the tiny size of the female market, there are presumably many bi escorts who are open to being hired by women but have not yet had a female client. And only a small sample of clients review, so those who do have female clients may not have reviews from them.

[jimboivyo]

it's still called m4m for a reason. gay only for me, thanks

[RadioRob]

To me, this also comes under I don't care what he does when he's not with me. If I want to hire a top, it's because of what I want him to do to me, not what he prefers to do if he has a choice.

This is exactly how I feel. If I hire someone, it's because I'm looking for someone who meets a certain set of requirements during our time together. I communicate the things that are most important to me. I expect my companion to provide an honest assessment if they can deliver that experience in a professional manner.

 

If I say that I'm looking to top, and that person just lays on the bed like a corpse with no passion or style, does it matter if that person says they're an "exclusive bottom"? Even if it's not their most favorite thing in the world when they're not working, if an escort can deliver the things that are important to me during our time together in a way that knocks my socks off, that's all that really matters.

[AdamSmith]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-07/10/14/enhanced/webdr02/enhanced-10761-1405015252-1.jpg

[AdamSmith]

Also...

http://generationsofsavings.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/tumblr_n5q49imP1u1t1ejfgo1_500.png

[RadioRob]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-07/10/14/enhanced/webdr02/enhanced-10761-1405015252-1.jpg

Yummmm... salad......

[dannyboynyc]

I've gotten very involved to LGBT equality at work. One thing I've discovered - as being one of the few involved in equality from the baby boomer generations, is younger guys tend to be much less concerned about LGBT identity than older gay guys. I do think part of this is a generational issue.

 

Personally, I've been with bi guys and had a great time and I've been with bi guys who have asked me if I have any straight porn to play during our appointment. I've been with bi guys who, I feel, treat me more like a woman than a man. Generally, I do shy away from bi guys, although it's not a hard and fast rule.

[+ FreshFluff]

This is the first time I've heard the word "demisexual," which Wikipedia defines as someone who "experience(s) sexual attraction only as a secondary component, feeling sexual attraction once a reasonably stable or large emotional connection has been created."

 

I'm guessing that few demisexuals are men. According to the definition above, no one who watches porn, or even admires photos of clothed strangers, can be demisexual.

 

Hell, even I sometimes feel attraction to strangers who are my type.

[loverboy95]

As long as he is a good performer in bed and has a great personality, his being into women is not a bad thing.

[tyro]

Hey. I hope I'm not too late to the party. I entered this world through emailing a gay escort whom I'd seen on a video. I told him my situation and asked if he knew any straight men as awesome as he. He replied that he didn't, but he did know a bi guy.

The rest is history.

Men who refuse to hire bi guys are missing out. Just sayin'.

T

[+ Gar1eth]

Over the years, I've hired many escorts who are fathers. That means for the most part unless they were drugged or gave donations to a sperm bank they either are actually straight, bisexual, at one time thought they were straight, or always knew they were gay but we're trying to deny it.

 

It's always been rather fascinating for me because the thought of 'straight sex' always use to scare me when I was younger-of course gay sex did too. But at least I could become aroused by guys and I pretty much can't by women.

 

So I don't really mind-much- that guys have been with women. I have a vague interest occasionally in hearing about it from them-but I don't really want to hear about the nitty and the gritty. I usually prefer being with guys who prefer guys-or at least guys who enjoy gay sex and aren't just gay for pay (I'd probably make an exception for Alain Deberry). I don't mind knowing that Tyro and QTR have hired several guys whom many of us on the Forum either know personally or who have at least heard of. But I'm not fond of reading reviews by women. Or if they do post reviews, I'd probably prefer that any descriptions of sex were in broad generalities rather than specifics. Notice I didn't say they shouldn't post reviews. But if a lot of women did post reviews, it would certainly change the character of this place.

 

Gman

[Guest]

All other things being equal, I have had better experiences with escorts who advertise as gay than those who advertise as bisexual, and those who advertise as bisexual are much better than those who advertise as straight. I wouldn't let an escort's bisexuality prevent me from hiring him, although if I were roughly equally interested in two, I would pick the gay one. It would be pretty unlikely that I would hire one that advertised as straight, however, unless I was totally nuts about the guy. I have had two bad experiences with straight guys, and have pretty much decided no longer to hire them.

[wisconsinguy]

All other things being equal, I have had better experiences with escorts who advertise as gay than those who advertise as bisexual, and those who advertise as bisexual are much better than those who advertise as straight. I wouldn't let an escort's bisexuality prevent me from hiring him, although if I were roughly equally interested in two, I would pick the gay one. It would be pretty unlikely that I would hire one that advertised as straight, however, unless I was totally nuts about the guy. I have had two bad experiences with straight guys, and have pretty much decided no longer to hire them.

The individual I connect with advertises as bi. When I initially connected with this person, and now, it makes no difference. I am amazed that a person can flip a switch to the other side. Right now, vaginas scare me. So if my person can do that, I applaud his courage. I have not been disappointed yet. It really makes no difference on my end! Haha.

[+ Gar1eth]

The individual I connect with advertises as bi. When I initially connected with this person, and now, it makes no difference. I am amazed that a person can flip a switch to the other side. Right now, vaginas scare me. So if my person can do that, I applaud his courage. I have not been disappointed yet. It really makes no difference on my end! Haha.

 

But just wondering-at least for me-it's one thing to know the escort has been with a woman-would you want to read a review that spelled out every intimate detail-or better yet-would you like to see a video of, or be a fly on the wall, during the encounter?

 

Gman

[+ honcho]

But just wondering-at least for me-it's one thing to know the escort has been with a woman-would you want to read a review that spelled out every intimate detail-or better yet-would you like to see a video of, or be a fly on the wall, during the encounter?

 

Gman

 

My concern is whether or not he would enjoy himself having sex with *me*. So a totally candid account of an encounter with a female would not be helpful in addressing that.

 

(I wouldn't expect the escort to be aroused by my looks, but I think it's possible for two men to enjoy having sex without necessarily being visually stimulated).

[sincitymix]

I am curious if most clients would be turned off, like dcguy20 states he was, if a well-reviewed escort has a review on Daddy's which is posted by a woman, even if it is a very positive review! Personally, if an escort has excellent reviews from both men and women, I would be inclined to believe that he'd probably be much more sensitive to his client's needs in many cases.

 

TruHart1

nope. I love bi and straight guys

[+ quoththeraven]

But just wondering-at least for me-it's one thing to know the escort has been with a woman-would you want to read a review that spelled out every intimate detail-or better yet-would you like to see a video of, or be a fly on the wall, during the encounter?

 

Gman

 

Gareth -- I saw an earlier version of this and was kind of ticked. (Understatement.) This is somewhat better. But it would be helpful to me if you were more specific so I don't have to guess what you mean: Is it the reference to vaginas/vaginal sex (including cunnilingus) that you don't want to see because it's not relevant to you (and for some a turnoff), or is it being explicit about sex? Or both?

 

I just wrote a long screed that preempted those questions but thought better of it and deleted it. We shall see what we shall see. Depending on the answer, my response will either be short and (relatively) sweet or long and angry. Ten points to the first person to guess which response goes with which interpretation.

 

And now I need to calm down, read more of my ebook, listen to my classical music playlist, and hopefully go to sleep, 'cause I suffer from crazyass chronic insomnia. I need to exert the discipline not to peek in here in the meantime, because that will only make the insomnia worse.

[sincitymix]

Gareth -- I saw an earlier version of this and was kind of ticked. (Understatement.) This is somewhat better. But it would be helpful to me if you were more specific so I don't have to guess what you mean: Is it the reference to vaginas/vaginal sex (including cunnilingus) that you don't want to see because it's not relevant to you (and for some a turnoff), or is it being explicit about sex? Or both?

 

I just wrote a long screed that preempted those questions but thought better of it and deleted it. We shall see what we shall see. Depending on the answer, my response will either be short and (relatively) sweet or long and angry. Ten points to the first person to guess which response goes with which interpretation.

 

And now I need to calm down, read more of my ebook, listen to my classical music playlist, and hopefully go to sleep, 'cause I suffer from crazyass chronic insomnia. I need to exert the discipline not to peek in here in the meantime, because that will only make the insomnia worse.

 

I'm going to guess its the vaginal reference. I've found most (yes I'm generalizing) gay men hear vagina, turn pale, and fall in a fluttering faint. (yes I'm being very facetious).

[+ Gar1eth]

But just wondering-at least for me-it's one thing to know the escort has been with a woman-would you want to read a review that spelled out every intimate detail-or better yet-would you like to see a video of, or be a fly on the wall, during the encounter?

 

Gman

 

Gareth -- I saw an earlier version of this and was kind of ticked. (Understatement.) This is somewhat better. But it would be helpful to me if you were more specific so I don't have to guess what you mean: Is it the reference to vaginas/vaginal sex (including cunnilingus) that you don't want to see because it's not relevant to you (and for some a turnoff), or is it being explicit about sex? Or both?

 

I just wrote a long screed that preempted those questions but thought better of it and deleted it. We shall see what we shall see. Depending on the answer, my response will either be short and (relatively) sweet or long and angry. Ten points to the first person to guess which response goes with which interpretation.

 

And now I need to calm down, read more of my ebook, listen to my classical music playlist, and hopefully go to sleep, 'cause I suffer from crazyass chronic insomnia. I need to exert the discipline not to peek in here in the meantime, because that will only make the insomnia worse.

 

I'm going to guess its the vaginal reference. I've found most (yes I'm generalizing) gay men hear vagina, turn pale, and fall in a fluttering faint. (yes I'm being very facetious).

 

That's definitely part of it. But I'll expound a bit.

 

 

Gee, I certainly didn't mean to tick anyone off, QTR. I can't even remember what my pre-edited comment looked like. I'm a little afraid if I explain things, I might make it worse. But I'll try. I hope this doesn't tick you off more.

 

Maybe it is prudery. To explain how very prudish I used to be-well when I was getting into my pre/very early teens-I thought the idea of heterosexual sex was gross. But I don't think I'm the only male child who thought that. I'm betting while maybe it's not a majority opinion among boys destined to go onto straight lives, I'm sure some perfectly adjusted heterosexual males, before the urges of puberty hit, may have been weirded out by vaginas too although maybe I'm wrong. And possibly there are perfectly happy heterosexual/bi women who at one point as pre-teens thought penises (tallywackers) were gross.

 

Another important point- I was total virgin until the age of 41. I never had a girlfriend during/after puberty (or boyfriend either). I might have played spin the bottle once -if ever. I never played Post Office. Any games of Truth Or Dare that I played never had a Dare involving anything sexual. I never had a make-out session with a female or male. Until I met with my first escort and experienced it, I still thought that French kissing was really gross. I couldn't understand why I/people would want to put their tongue in other people's mouths or have other people put their tongue in mine. I also wasn't that thrilled about giving fellatio. And even today-performing fellatio is not my favorite thing.

 

If we add to this that I've (unfortunately) never been sexually aroused by sight of the female anatomy-not even during puberty when my hormones were surging- then maybe that might explain my earlier post better.

 

I might also need to add that while I like watching some gay porn (but don't watch it that often) when it shows a guy being topped, rimming grosses me out completely. I also hate those scenes/films where they concentrate on the the anus -spitting into it and manipulating it/stretching it out with their fingers.

 

So I guess I'm still fairly prudish in many ways. Suffice to say -there are definite sexual practices in gay porn that turn me off just much as heterosexual porn in general does.

 

Gman

 

PS

I hope you managed to get some sleep. I'm also curious as to what type of e-reader you have and what you are reading. I've have a Kindle Paperwhite. And I'm re-reading a fantasy book by David Eddings. It's not one of his best, and since I've read it before, I may give up on it this time.

[+ quoththeraven]

Thanks for clarifying, Gman. The reason I was ticked off is that this involves policing (or at least reacting negatively to, which is pretty much the same thing) the content of reviews. The underlying message could be interpreted as "female reviewers not welcome" (or "female reviewers not welcome unless they abide by our terms.") As a female reviewer, this understandably ticks me off.

 

Tyro and I (who both review under names different from our forum usernames) keep any mention of vaginas out of our reviews. Give us credit for some common sense, not to speak of sensitivity! There are only two of us and I don't know how many of you, and the review site was created for your benefit, not ours.

 

Our reviews do mention fucking and making love. In mine (sorry for this, but I feel the need to mention it), "fucking" covers vaginal and anal. I may not have a prostate, but there are a lot of sensitive nerve endings around the anus, so I, like some other women (and unlike some other women), enjoy anal sex. (Hey, there are men -- even ones who have sex with men -- who don't enjoy anal sex, or don't enjoy bottoming.)

 

My most recent review mentions "licking." That one covered cunnilingus (which, for the record, is nice but I could live without; penetration is more my thing) and rimming. Yes, guys, I got rimmed for the first time. And I rimmed someone for the first time ever. Totally awesome. The escort involved called me a dirty girl, and I am. I am a total filthy greedy noisy bottom pig. I left all of that out of the review, though.

 

Even without a prostate, anal sex is anal sex, amirite? In that respect, a review from a woman is absolutely no less relevant than a man's. Topping is topping. (In which respect I would also say that this is also true of vaginal sex; we just know enough not to remind you of it.) And I can attest to being topped vigorously and lovingly and all sorts of ways, as described in my reviews. I'm not identifying anyone here not only because I don't want to be anyone's walking billboard, but for the even more pertinent reason that this would then turn into a review and violate the guidelines against reviews on the Message Forum. Reviews belong in the reviews section, where they can be properly vetted, etc.

 

Why people don't get this baffles me. Probably they didn't read the sticky post. (Which, btw, if this were a group of women: they would have read the sticky post, and anyone who hadn't would apologize profusely, go read the sticky post, and never do it again.)

 

I'd also like to point out something else that seems to have eluded some. I can't speak for tyro on this (though she may have told me and I've forgotten), but before I even started writing my first review, I asked Daddy if reviews from female reviewers were accepted. He said yes, but to keep the audience (gay and bisexual men) in mind. HE SEES EVERY REVIEW. He sent me a congratulatory e-mail with a big smooch the day my first review went live.

 

Daddy and I don't see eye to eye on everything, but on this one I have to say: Way to go, Daddy. It's Daddy's site. We post at his grace. He's never asked me to change anything in a review, and he's put our reviews up. So what is the problem here, really?

 

Bi escorts who see women have to be good at a lot of different things. Adaptable is a good way to put it. Someone who pays attention to what he's doing down there with a woman is going to pay attention to what he's doing down there with a man, and vice versa. There's also the part of the review that deals with interpersonal interactions outside of the bedroom; those are equally as relevant despite the gender of the reviewer. Those who feel otherwise, it's your loss. There are plenty of reviews by men on this site that are equally, if not more, unhelpful.

 

To go back to Gman: What would be more helpful to me (and possibly the rest of the audience) is knowing whether descriptions of things that bother you in porn bother you in reviews. I'm in the "closed door reviews aren't helpful enough" camp, but I've held back on descriptiveness in reviews because of the whole "fear of judgment of female sexuality" thing, which I've just thrown out the window anyway.

 

(And someone who's not me should start a thread about what's helpful in reviews and what's not, turnoffs, etc. so we can hash that out too.)

 

I did eventually get some sleep; thanks for asking.

 

Also, if anyone wants to check my assertions about the content of my reviews, PM me and I'll tell you which reviews are mine. (I can't do that with tyro's for reasons that should be obvious.)

But that's on the condition that my review identity never be revealed in public, including by mentioning whose or which reviews they are. If that's violated by anyone I give that information to or anyone else who might get it via PM or other means, I'm hitting the "report" button for a privacy violation so fast it'll make your head spin.

 

I tend to assume that a lot of people know which reviews are mine when they post. Anyone who's been paying attention and connecting the dots probably knows which ones they are; at least two of them mention that I'm a woman in the "About You" section (something else I asked Daddy about). I also have a distinctive style of writing. (At least it feels that way to me.) So every time a review posts, I feel more exposed than I probably should.

 

And guess what: That was the short version! I was loaded for bear if the answer was "sexual explicitness," which Gman might not like either, but if he doesn't, it sounds more like it's an across the board thing and not only pertinent to female reviewers.