When is/if is it appropriate to "check in" on a client

[jasoncarter_dfw]

Being 95% "retired", I don't always check on here like I used to. But, I feel like I could use a little guidance on this issue I'm facing. From August of 2003 until about 2 years ago I had a very regular client that I saw that lived out of my area...very nice older gentleman. He wanted to go on lots of trips overseas, have me visit his home, visited my home twice, etc...nothing exotic...we had a great escort/client relationship. Between my newly found work schedule and his circumstances, we haven't seen each other lately. However, we have regularly exchanged emails and phone calls just to chat and see how we're doing after I started my new venture.

 

I haven't heard from him since Thanksgiving. I tried giving him a call this afternoon and his only number is disconnected. Obviously, I know I'm not "family", but I'm worried nevertheless. What course of action is appropriate in my situation...or am I destined to just have to rely on google?

 

P.S. sidenote...his first inquiry when I had my old website:

 

Name: ******* *******

E-mail: *******@****************

Phone: ************

Time to Call: 3 p.m. to 12 a.m.

Appointment Date/Time: Overnight Friday, August 15

 

Where he heard about me: Male Treasures Escort site

 

Comments: Hi Jason, I am a 55 year old retired man, quiet, easy-going and not hard to please. Hope the above date is suitable. Your new photos are impressive. Awaiting your reply

[+ purplekow]

if you have an e mail for him, would try that. Failing that, obituaries.com to eliminate the worst case scenario. If it were me, who an escort was checking in on, I would like for him to really try and find me or at the least, get notice that I was beyond the usual contact methods.

[AresEscortNYC]

I think the particulars are what make the difference here. This is a man with whom you had a professional relationship for TEN YEARS, and even after that, you continued to keep in touch. I think that earns you friend-of-the-family status because HE obviouly and unequivocally WANTED you to remain in his life.

Since these were HIS wishes (not just yours), there's an argument to be made that you've an obligation to find out if he's ok and proceed on that course. (I assume he would do the same for you.) Do circumstances make this this a delicate matter? Obviously. Are you going to announce the exact nature of your prior relationship? Obviously not. You've clearly been thoughtful in your dealings with him for over 12 years, so I'll take a leap of faith and assume you'll be equally thoughtful should you engage a friend or family member as to his whereabouts.

Follow your gut. If along the line you feel you're overstepping bounds, ask yourself what HE would want, and proceed accordingly. Err on the conservative as regards his privacy as well as yours. But you're clearly savvy enough to know how to handle yourself should things become sticky. You're an old friend who cares enough to find out what's become of his old chum. That's all anybody needs to know. I wish the best of luck to you both.

[+ augustus]

Being 95% "retired", I don't always check on here like I used to. But, I feel like I could use a little guidance on this issue I'm facing. From August of 2003 until about 2 years ago I had a very regular client that I saw that lived out of my area...very nice older gentleman. He wanted to go on lots of trips overseas, have me visit his home, visited my home twice, etc...nothing exotic...we had a great escort/client relationship. Between my newly found work schedule and his circumstances, we haven't seen each other lately. However, we have regularly exchanged emails and phone calls just to chat and see how we're doing after I started my new venture.

 

I haven't heard from him since Thanksgiving. I tried giving him a call this afternoon and his only number is disconnected. Obviously, I know I'm not "family", but I'm worried nevertheless. What course of action is appropriate in my situation...or am I destined to just have to rely on google?

 

P.S. sidenote...his first inquiry when I had my old website:

 

Name: ******* *******

E-mail: *******@****************

Phone: ************

Time to Call: 3 p.m. to 12 a.m.

Appointment Date/Time: Overnight Friday, August 15

 

Where he heard about me: Male Treasures Escort site

 

Comments: Hi Jason, I am a 55 year old retired man, quiet, easy-going and not hard to please. Hope the above date is suitable. Your new photos are impressive. Awaiting your reply

 

I would make an attempt to find out if this guy is ok. Nothing wrong with trying to find out. 10 years and you guys have a connection beyond the money and the sex. I've been seeing an escort for 2 years now and care about him deeply. I really care about this kid. It's really good to know you have a heart bro.

[Tonyko]

If my math is correct this man would be in his late 60's if he was 55 when your first contact took place in 03'. If the disconnected # was a CELL well, anything is poss. But I'm assuming given the legnth of your relationship that it's a hard line you call him on, and that being disconnected would never happen unless something major has occured. Since he was already retired it seems unlikely he simply retired out of state, and even if that were the case he would answer an EMail and I'm sure you've tried that. I would do all you can to track him down via google etal, including the obits in the area where I truly hope you don't find your answer. It's also poss he could have simply moved closer to family to assist a family member OR he could have suffered some catastrophic medical event that required moving to assisted living etc or closer to family if he needs daily help etc, and contacting acquaintances to let them know may not have been a priority. If either of those are the case I'm SURE he would be SO happy to hear from you regardles of what you had to do to get the info.

[jasoncarter_dfw]

Thanks for the replies! Yes, it was a land line...actually, and he had no cell. Nothing on google searches ...

 

Let's hope he's ok and just doesn't have a way to get in touch.

[rvwnsd]

Being 95% "retired", I don't always check on here like I used to. But, I feel like I could use a little guidance on this issue I'm facing. From August of 2003 until about 2 years ago I had a very regular client that I saw that lived out of my area...very nice older gentleman. He wanted to go on lots of trips overseas, have me visit his home, visited my home twice, etc...nothing exotic...we had a great escort/client relationship. Between my newly found work schedule and his circumstances, we haven't seen each other lately. However, we have regularly exchanged emails and phone calls just to chat and see how we're doing after I started my new venture.

 

I haven't heard from him since Thanksgiving. I tried giving him a call this afternoon and his only number is disconnected. Obviously, I know I'm not "family", but I'm worried nevertheless. What course of action is appropriate in my situation...or am I destined to just have to rely on google?

 

P.S. sidenote...his first inquiry when I had my old website:

 

Name: ******* *******

E-mail: *******@****************

Phone: ************

Time to Call: 3 p.m. to 12 a.m.

Appointment Date/Time: Overnight Friday, August 15

 

Where he heard about me: Male Treasures Escort site

 

Comments: Hi Jason, I am a 55 year old retired man, quiet, easy-going and not hard to please. Hope the above date is suitable. Your new photos are impressive. Awaiting your reply

 

If I was you, I would try to email him.

[Gar1eth]

Did he ever introduce you to any of his friends? Depending on the circumstance that might be a way to go. White Pages Dot Com might be able to help if you input his address. Does he have a Facebook page?

 

Gman

[wayout]

Having been to his home and assuming you still have his address, it may be possible to go on line for this county to see if anything has changed in his property holding recently. While not helping to contact him it might shed some light on whether or not he may have moved. If he has passed on, it may take some time for that property transfer to get through the system so check back in another six months.

 

I debated on whether snail mail would be a good idea and perhaps could be another way to approach it.

[mike carey]

Jason, I can't offer any better suggestions than any of the other commenters on the mechanics of trying to find him again, and while you don't necessarily have an obligation to find him (as Ares said) you have every right to do so. You had a relationship for 12 years after all. If I were the guy who had been your client for that sort of time, I would be delighted if you tried to find me again after a break. As Ares (again) said despite the way you met, and what you had done in between, you had become friends. I hope all is well and you find him.

[Becket]

Miss you Jason Carter. Glad to see something from you. cheers.

[bobchitown]

I've thought about this for awhile and tried to put myself in the guy's shoes. You don't specify in the OP, but I'm assuming you've also emailed in addition to trying to phone him. It may be something as simple as he joined the crowd and gave up the land line in favor of a cell phone and has a new number. But, if the email isn't working either I'd think that for some reason he's separated from his former life. Also remember, many people (including escorts, LOL) don't read their email regularly, and I'd give that a few days before worrying further. If his email account is also inactive you should get a message bounced back to you, but if he's stopped reading it recently the mailbox might just still be sitting there filling up.

 

Think positive, maybe he's on a fabulous cruise in the middle out the ocean and out of contact for a few days.

 

Do you know is real name and have you tried googling all the variations of that? If he's from a smaller town any life event may well have had a notice in the local paper and it would be worth doing a search of that - most small town papers are online and fully searchable.

 

Beyond that I'd probably let it go. If he hasn't contacted you in awhile it either means that he cannot for some reason, or he's decided to disconnect. I'd respect that.