A way to warn other escorts of a repeat time waster

[tom1980]

"There's a very big difference between discretion and privacy. Discretion is me knowing who you are but having the confidence in me that I'll keep our relationship a secret. Secrecy is being shadey".

 

Umm. No. I'm keeping my true identity secret, thank you very much. Even guys I adore and have met several times do not know my real last name, and I intend to keep it that way. Maybe one of these days I'll feel differently, but I can't imagine many married men would put all of his faith in the discretion of an escort he's never met. The idea is ludicrous to me.

 

" sir, I have no intention of telling your wife. If she divorces you she will take half your stuff plus demand alimony, and that's not good for either one of us"

 

I'll grant you that's funny, and it might even be true that telling my wife is against your own self interest. However, not all guys are trying to establish repeat business. I'm not going to trust that some guy I've never met won't decide it's more beneficial to him to try blackmailing me.

[killianjamesnyc]

Umm. No. I'm keeping my true identity secret, thank you very much. Even guys I adore and have met several times do not know my real last name, and I intend to keep it that way. Maybe one of these days I'll feel differently, but I can't imagine many married men would put all of his faith in the discretion of an escort he's never met. The idea is ludicrous to me.

 

 

 

I'll grant you that's funny, and it might even be true that telling my wife is against your own self interest. However, not all guys are trying to establish repeat business. I'm not going to trust that some guy I've never met won't decide it's more beneficial to him to try blackmailing me.

 

 

You are 100% right. Not everyone will feel comfortable revealing themselves, which is totally fine. I never ask for a last name, but when collecting a deposit it does show up on the paypal receipt. I've learned that the best relationships I've formed are with guys who do though. Knowing who someone is makes for more enjoyable hiring sessions and often leads to vacations, event escorting, dinners etc. It also feels good to know I have their confidence.

[tom1980]

You are 100% right. Not everyone will feel comfortable revealing themselves, which is totally fine. I never ask for a last name, but when collecting a deposit it does show up on the paypal receipt. I've learned that the best relationships I've formed are with guys who do though. Knowing who someone is makes for more enjoyable hiring sessions and often leads to vacations, event escorting, dinners etc. It also feels good to know I have their confidence.

 

That makes sense. Men who are free to be themselves with escorts, take trips with them, etc. are able to establish a deeper level of intimacy than I am able to establish with my usual 1-2 hour appointments. However, it's also worth noting that different clients are looking for different things. I'm only looking for a relatively shallow level of intimacy while others may be hoping for something more. I might go to lunch or a movie with a guy before, after, or during a rare "extended" appointment (at least what qualifies as an extended session for me), and I'll disclose certain facts about myself to guys I feel are trustworthy when I spend social time with them. However, I have established boundaries for myself of what I'm willing to disclose and what I'm not. I know that means there will always be some distance between me and the men I hire, but that's what works for me and I'm completely comfortable with that.

[SteveEscort]

That makes sense. Men who are free to be themselves with escorts, take trips with them, etc. are able to establish a deeper level of intimacy than I am able to establish with my usual 1-2 hour appointments. However, it's also worth noting that different clients are looking for different things. I'm only looking for a relatively shallow level of intimacy while others may be hoping for something more. I might go to lunch or a movie with a guy before, after, or during a rare "extended" appointment (at least what qualifies as an extended session for me), and I'll disclose certain facts about myself to guys I feel are trustworthy when I spend social time with them. However, I have established boundaries for myself of what I'm willing to disclose and what I'm not. I know that means there will always be some distance between me and the men I hire, but that's what works for me and I'm completely comfortable with that.

 

That's the vast majority of clients to be honest. The ones who want to be more "forthcoming" tend to have less ties or hire out of town. A while back, a guy I see who lives less than a mile from me wanted a "date night" type of overnight, with dinner and drinks. We went to Durham, about 25 miles away. Even then he was on edge a lot of the time.

 

Most of the gentlemen I see are married men with a family, whether it be a young family or grown up sons and daughters. I rarely see anyone with such openness.

 

You, Tom, are the typical person who hires me. It might not be the typical client who hires other guys but on the whole you fall neatly into the same category as probably 90% of the guys who grace my presence.

[devonhunter]

The full context is this:

 

I was contending with the financial stuff already; however, that isn't my main concern in all this. Any escort who plans ahead builds up resources over time, and can weather bad trips. The money aspect was annoying, yes, but the flagrant disrespect and sabotage is what primed the canon. The parts that I didn't explain are these: All these people were supposedly tops. I can't eat when I am going to bottom. It is extremely uncomfortable, ergo I have to fast. With all these people jerking my schedule around, they were also throwing my ability to plan meals, exercise, and sleep into chaos.

 

I have a very difficult time sleeping, and so everything has to be timed backwards from there: When do I have to finish eating, so that I can take my sleep meds? When do I have to time working out so as to be able to do it after digesting a small meal but before a large post-workout feeding? These people didn't just affect me financially (actually they didn't affect that at all: I ended up salvaging the trip in that regard), they caused a series of interruptions that ultimately screwed up all the REALLY IMPORTANT nuances of my day. I am quickly undermined by plunging serotonin levels, which are affected directly by food and rest. The money is secondary, it's the disrespect and then interruption of eating, exercising, and sleep that literally put me in a position of feeling completely out of control of myself. When I started the meltdown I was already so hungry that I felt sick.

 

People on this forum are constantly discussing the finances of what it means to escort. Sometimes they discuss the psychology of it. But what I rarely see is people talking about the butterfly effects: All of this could have been avoided, if I could have just eaten. I don't have these nuclear issues until I am angry PLUS sleepy PLUS hungry and THEN provoked. That is the molotov cocktail that sets me off like a nuclear blast.

 

So... now that I'm back in control of myself, I feel mortified and ashamed. But I'm only human. I'm not perfect by any means, and I never claim to be. What is good about all this is that in replacing the few flakes with several real people, I have actually created a broader base than I would have if I'd actually met the flakes and saboteurs. It's ironic how that works, but it means that my next trips to Dallas won't be as vulnerable to these types of mishaps. Again, I apologize. I doubt I will post to this thread anymore, now that I have explained this. In fact, I need to go eat again. I still haven't caught up from the lost calories.

[down_to_business]

I took it down. I had a public meltdown. I apologize. This is an exceptionally isolating career, and sometimes I can't take the unprovoked disrespect and hateful manipulation (especially when I haven't purposefully done anything to cause people to treat me this way). It's hurtful, because I don't understand it. Mea culpa.

 

Devon, my one piece of advice to you would have been whatever decision you make, don't do it in haste in the heat of the moment. While you acted a little hastily, the fact you are willing to own it and rectify it show how truly special you are. I can't tell you how many others would have dug in their heels and rather died than admit any error. May karma kick the son-of-a-bitch who screwed you over hard in the ass. You sir, have risen above!

 

Umm. No. I'm keeping my true identity secret, thank you very much. Even guys I adore and have met several times do not know my real last name, and I intend to keep it that way. Maybe one of these days I'll feel differently, but I can't imagine many married men would put all of his faith in the discretion of an escort he's never met. The idea is ludicrous to me...

 

Not being married yet still being blackmailed by an escort was one of the low points in my life. I hope you continue to protect your identity so that you never have to experience this horror.

[SteveEscort]

The full context is this:

 

I was contending with the financial stuff already; however, that isn't my main concern in all this. Any escort who plans ahead builds up resources over time, and can weather bad trips. The money aspect was annoying, yes, but the flagrant disrespect and sabotage is what primed the canon. The parts that I didn't explain are these: All these people were supposedly tops. I can't eat when I am going to bottom. It is extremely uncomfortable, ergo I have to fast. With all these people jerking my schedule around, they were also throwing my ability to plan meals, exercise, and sleep into chaos.

 

I have a very difficult time sleeping, and so everything has to be timed backwards from there: When do I have to finish eating, so that I can take my sleep meds? When do I have to time working out so as to be able to do it after digesting a small meal but before a large post-workout feeding? These people didn't just affect me financially (actually they didn't affect that at all: I ended up salvaging the trip in that regard), they caused a series of interruptions that ultimately screwed up all the REALLY IMPORTANT nuances of my day. I am quickly undermined by plunging serotonin levels, which are affected directly by food and rest. The money is secondary, it's the disrespect and then interruption of eating, exercising, and sleep that literally put me in a position of feeling completely out of control of myself. When I started the meltdown I was already so hungry that I felt sick.

 

People on this forum are constantly discussing the finances of what it means to escort. Sometimes they discuss the psychology of it. But what I rarely see is people talking about the butterfly effects: All of this could have been avoided, if I could have just eaten. I don't have these nuclear issues until I am angry PLUS sleepy PLUS hungry and THEN provoked. That is the molotov cocktail that sets me off like a nuclear blast.

 

So... now that I'm back in control of myself, I feel mortified and ashamed. But I'm only human. I'm not perfect by any means, and I never claim to be. What is good about all this is that in replacing the few flakes with several real people, I have actually created a broader base than I would have if I'd actually met the flakes and saboteurs. It's ironic how that works, but it means that my next trips to Dallas won't be as vulnerable to these types of mishaps. Again, I apologize. I doubt I will post to this thread anymore, now that I have explained this. In fact, I need to go eat again. I still haven't caught up from the lost calories.

 

You do not owe anyone on here an explanation and you certainly did not do anything wrong. The person who should be ashamed of themselves is the gentleman who flakes on you when you have gone to such trouble. I for one have listed clients on the UK Ugly Mugs database, one of whom was discussed at length on here when he short changed me. Another was an incest ring where an uncle and nephew (in real life) we're hiring escorts for very strange sex sessions and tried to hire me in November last year. I never felt the slightest bit guilty about it because these were not clients. They were nightmares that other escorts should be warned about and luckily the UK police take a very different view.

[MiamiLooker]

Devon,

Just curious....have any of the guys that cancelled contacted you further?

[Anton]

Here in England and I am sure there is a similar system in the USA I have a prepay mastercard. Clients can request a mastercard prepay voucher at most UK supermarkets and some local newspaper kiosks and shops. He can then call me with the 16 digit code listed on the voucher receipt and I can apply the funds to my prepay account. It's all completely anonymous.

 

I have often searched for rechargeable credit cards and they do exists but with two side remarks. First of all, to get a rechargeable credit card you'll have to fill out a form and give your real name and social security number. Although a lot of guys will be comfortable with that, that's something I never did. But to each his own. Another side remark is that they come with high fees.

 

"If you go to paypal.com there are step by step instructions, takes less than 5 minutes 5 minutes of your time for endless hours of joy."

 

Paypal can not be used for adult services and if they find out they'll instantly freeze the account. (Yes, Paypal is a bit Victorian. ) I had a colleague escort who had thousands of dollars in his Paypal account. Paypal froze his account and suddenly he didn't have access to thousands of dollars that he needed badly to pay all sort of bills. They once froze my account too and it wasn't even because of adult services. There was only $35 in the account, so what did I care? I however learned that to reopen the account resulted in endless hours of joy headaches. They wanted all sort of information I wasn't willing to give. But then again, there was only $35 in the account, so what did I care? Also, bear in mind that the TOS of Paypal say they can take money out of your bank account or credit card (the one you connected with your Paypal account) as much as Paypal wishes in order to pay for the amounts that Paypal thinks you owe them or you owe another party. (Mmmm, I have this feeling I'm being very negative here, but I'm mainly trying to put some facts in a row ...) Again, to each his own.

 

" sir, I have no intention of telling your wife. If she divorces you she will take half your stuff plus demand alimony, and that's not good for either one of us"

 

I'd say that is true as long as the relationship between the escort and the client is good. Imagine that something silly happens and a strong disagreement starts between the client and the escort, then that argument is suddenly off the table. Here too, to each his own.

 

So... now that I'm back in control of myself, I feel mortified and ashamed. But I'm only human. I'm not perfect by any means, and I never claim to be.

 

No worries, I think that one of the purposes of this forum is that you can vent. There are threads in which I posted while later I thought "Mmm ... I could have phrased that differently ...". Plus, after your experience you may be better prepared to prevent similar experiences in the future. If it had cost you money, I had considered it learning-money.

 

The good news is, it seems you're coming out of the situation much better than you had expected!

 

Sincerely, Anton.

[Steven_Draker]

Paypal can not be used for adult services and if they find out they'll instantly freeze the account. (Yes, Paypal is a bit Victorian. ) I had a colleague escort who had thousands of dollars in his Paypal account. Paypal froze his account and suddenly he didn't have access to thousands of dollars that he needed badly to pay all sort of bills. They once froze my account too and it wasn't even because of adult services.

 

My recollection is that PayPal will freeze the account for 6 months, then will release the money to a bank account or a friend's PayPal account after 6 months time.

[TruHart1]

Devon Hunter is ALWAYS a Class Act

 

Devon, my one piece of advice to you would have been whatever decision you make, don't do it in haste in the heat of the moment. While you acted a little hastily, the fact you are willing to own it and rectify it show how truly special you are. I can't tell you how many others would have dug in their heels and rather died than admit any error. May karma kick the son-of-a-bitch who screwed you over hard in the ass. You sir, have risen above!

...

 

+1 Devon is always a class act, unless, of course, he is starving!

 

TruHart1

[Anton]

My recollection is that PayPal will freeze the account for 6 months, then will release the money to a bank account or a friend's PayPal account after 6 months time.[/color]

 

Interesting, I just logged on to the account again. It was frozen in March 2011 and the account seems still frozen. However, if I click "send money" I get a screen that says "Your account access is limited", but ... it also seems that I can send money to friends and family. (Weird.)

 

This is interesting, wanna try? I want to cancel the account anyway ...

 

If you have a Paypal account and if you give me the corresponding email address I'll try to send you the remaining balance. Feel free to send me your email address in a private message.

 

Would be fun to know.

 

Anton.

[Steven_Draker]

Interesting, I just logged on to the account again. It was frozen in March 2011 and the account seems still frozen. However, if I click "send money" I get a screen that says "Your account access is limited", but ... it also seems that I can send money to friends and family. (Weird.)

 

This is interesting, wanna try? I want to cancel the account anyway ...

 

If you have a Paypal account and if you give me the corresponding email address I'll try to send you the remaining balance. Feel free to send me your email address in a private message.

 

Would be fun to know.

 

Anton.

 

Anton, alas I don't have a PayPal account any longer. Mine was cancelled several years ago.

 

What I wanted to express above is that once the account is cancelled or "limited" as you say, it's "limited" for good and you can't receive money any longer. PayPal will freeze your funds for 6 months, after that you have the opportunity to withdraw the money/transfer it to your bank account.

[+ quoththeraven]

Chiming in here on the Paypal/adult content issue. It's not (primarily) a moral issue with them; it's a commercial one. Adult businesses -- porn sites, escorting, etc. -- have significantly higher chargeback rates than others. (I think it's around 4-5%; IIRC, normal chargeback rates are around 1% or less.) So Paypal views such accounts as a greater economic risk. It's in business to make money, or at least not lose it. Although it could charge those businesses more, that's a hassle and involves greater administrative costs. From Paypal's perspective, it's easier to kick adult businesses off the service than to try to make them pay more for it.

 

Given the risks, I'd probably do the same thing. Paypal is acting economically rationally. I know it's a pain, but that's the way things are.

 

Now, the reasons why the chargeback rate is so much higher has a lot to do with so-called moral sensibilities about such services that see even the users of such services denigrating them. Chargebacks can be due to scams on the part of the purchaser, fear of, disputes with, or edicts from others in the household, or buyer's remorse. But those aren't Paypal's moral sensibilities; those are the purchaser's.

 

What really frosts me is that the adult content label had Paypal closing accounts that didn't pose a higher risk of chargebacks, such as small publishers of erotica and erotic romance and payments for online services such as LiveJournal and Dreamwidth. Dreamwidth got kicked off of Paypal because it is militant about hosting adult content (as in fanfiction and blogs); Livejournal has succumbed to witchhunts and censorship campaigns in the past, though the fact that users, some of them adults, were posting stories with explicit sexual content depicting underage Harry Potter characters in relationships with adult ones probably didn't help. The organization who filed the complaint pitched it as a blow against pedophilia and the sexual exploitation of children. However, what happened was that the campaign wound up deleting the journals of communities formed to help adult victims of child sexual abuse because their posts contained the keywords and concepts the censors were looking for -- as any description of child sexual abuse would.

[SteveEscort]

Interesting, I just logged on to the account again. It was frozen in March 2011 and the account seems still frozen. However, if I click "send money" I get a screen that says "Your account access is limited", but ... it also seems that I can send money to friends and family. (Weird.)

 

This is interesting, wanna try? I want to cancel the account anyway ...

 

If you have a Paypal account and if you give me the corresponding email address I'll try to send you the remaining balance. Feel free to send me your email address in a private message.

 

Would be fun to know.

 

Anton.

 

I have a paypal account and it's kept secret and only available to known clients

 

When they send me funds I withdraw them immediately

[Guest boiworship08]

Sorry to hear that, Devon. What a bastard.

[Anton]

I have a paypal account and it's kept secret and only available to known clients. When they send me funds I withdraw them immediately

 

I may have an update here. By private message I asked Steve the email address he used for his Paypal account. Then I tried to send the remaining balance from my (limited) Paypal account to his account and it failed.

 

What I'm writing for ... if you have a Paypal account and if the account ever gets frozen or limited, it's not going to be possible to just wait for six months and then send the fund to a friend.

 

Sincerely, Anton.

[Steven_Draker]

I may have an update here. By private message I asked Steve the email address he used for his Paypal account. Then I tried to send the remaining balance from my (limited) Paypal account to his account and it failed.

 

What I'm writing for ... if you have a Paypal account and if the account ever gets frozen or limited, it's not going to be possible to just wait for six months and then send the fund to a friend.

 

You can withdraw the funds by transferring them to your bank account.

[+ tristanbaldwin]

BVB is right...he just jogged my memory of that situation. Other escorts play games with setting up fake appointments, and some of them even have people that are willing to be a 'pawn' or voice on the phone to help do so. Funny that you mention Phoenix, is where you got burned Devon. I actually got hostile phone calls from another escort in Phoenix once, years ago, wanting to know when I was going to leave town, because he somehow thought it was affecting his numbers. There's more than enough cake for all of us; Christ his look was totally different then mine(twink, dark hair, covered in tats and piercings), so how could he think I was even drawing from the same pool of interested clients?

 

This business is rife with mental instability...and perhaps I even fall into that bracket too!!!

[Mocha]

Gentlemen, it's almost disrespectful to compare the writings of Devon to the angry ramblings of Joey Bryant, God Bless him wherever he is. Devon is just expressing frustration in trying to do business in a rather hostile environment. It's a reality, and an expensive one at that, that few of us have ever experienced

 

With all due respect, cut the man some slack....

 

White Priviledge, White is Right, etc. whats your point?

 

This business is rife with mental instability...and perhaps I even fall into that bracket too!!!

 

You got that right. Thats why people should be careful who they choose to mess with. The 2 things a person should never screw with, either intentionionally or indirectly: someone's money or their honey. Doing either is just asking for trouble. And if someone has a reputation for being unstable/angry, etc, the perpetrator could have some serious consequences to contend with

[Mocha]

Jabari Blaine[/url] is a low and unfair blow. Them's fightin' words.

 

FYI, I happen to be good friends with him. Some years ago, A client in Dallas was going to include him and Devon Hunter in a 3 way scenario, but Devon Hunter backed out and declined the 3 way. However, Devon Hunter never knew it was going to be Joey participating. Devon Hunter didn't think the client was serious, but Joey had been with this client many times.

 

In the end, the client still paid him as if there were 2 guys there. So, you guys can throw dirt on Joey's name all you want, but he's going to be laughing all the way to Bank, taking trips, and getting the same clients as the other big name escorts are getting. I know because he just met a contributer to this forum last week. So clearly, he's not doing too bad for himself.

[Scorpio]

FYI, I happen to be good friends with him.

 

Of course you are, Mocha is Joey. We've already established that a long time ago.

 

So I certainly would hope you're friends with yourself

[Guy Fawkes]

Simply put, we're not going to bash escorts. Thread closed with prejudice.