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Do I still have an ass? :)

friendofsheila

By + friendofsheila
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friendofsheila Grand Master

+ friendofsheila

Posted
Posted

Do I still have an ass? :)

 

I'm fifty now, and I'm thinking it's maybe time to retire my ass from whatever it is I need to retire it from, UNLESS.....

 

It's still viable, unless I've still got an ass that goes for miles, an ass to beat the band, and ass that just won't quit.

 

So, how do I know this? How do I get an objective opinion?

 

No, I'm not going to go to a gay bar and drop trou. (Those men are all drunk.)

 

No, I'm not going to lay down in the middle of the floor at a bath house and point it north. (Those men are beyond horny and would hump a gopher hole if they found one in the steam room.)

 

And no, I’m not posting my picture here. Not no way, not no how.

 

What I need are standards: ratios, percentages, caliper readings, curvatures measured with a protractor. You know, scientific stuff.

 

Doesn't Hammacher-Schlemmer make a butt-meter now? :)

Diverdan Community Regular

Diverdan

Posted
Posted

Oh, I am sure you still have an ass... be glad you do... regardless of its size and shape and condition.... be content... maybe not as hot as your fantasy guys, or the bottoms you see on Rentboy... but... I am sure it is adequate for what ever functions you choose to use it for... Just MHO of course !!!

purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
Posted

While there are cases of men going into retirement at the peak of their allure, I suggest if you don't use it, you will lose it. And what's more, if you don't use it, it doesn't matter what kind of shape it is in. So, go out and splurge on a form fitting ass enhancing outfit and then take your ass out for a stroll and a strut. After all, it is summer and no matter your age, you are only this young for now.

Steven_Draker Mentor

Steven_Draker

Posted
Posted
You might also watch Legally Blonde, an inoffensive and amusing film with a major educational section concerning the Bend and Snap.

 

"OMG! ... The Bend And Snap ... Works every tiiiime!!!" :rolleyes: :cool:

 

[video=youtube;MqUQQPz9vFo]

deej Grand Master

+ deej

Posted
Posted
If indeed you feel that gravity has become the enemy, then

 

Ride a bike.

 

Such a simple thing. We all had them as kids. We didn't have asses then, either, but as adults WHOA!

 

I spent 8 months just before turning 50 riding a bike back and forth to work and my ass never looked better. And the rest of me looked better too. And I felt better. (And I got laid a lot more often!)

 

Get out. Move. Ride a bike. You'll have an ass again in no time! And you might have some fun and meet some people.

 

Couldn't hurt!

Binudeguy Newbie

Binudeguy

Posted
Posted

Reminds me of when I was having my pants altered and the tailor was carefully fitting me. At one point he said, "Sir has no butt". I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. I can tell you that my 65 y.o. rear still serves me just fine and that many people of both sexes comment on it and find it attractive. Fortunately, my ass brings me much pleasure whether my tailor can find it or not!! (I guess he didn't look deep enough)

friendofsheila Grand Master

+ friendofsheila

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So, go out and splurge on a form fitting ass enhancing outfit and then take your ass out for a stroll and a strut.

 

The Castro would be the place to do this. Maybe I should try having my "strut" filmed, to see how many heads I turn. :)

Daverwr Veteran

Daverwr

Posted
Posted

I was shocked when I stayed at a hotel with mirrors on both sides of the bathroom. I HAD NO BUTT! And, what I had was wrinkled and sagged! I had no idea! (Obviously, I limit the number of mirrors in my bathroom.). BTW - I'm "only" 52.

 

It's a bitch to get old!

  • 3 weeks later...
friendofsheila Grand Master

+ friendofsheila

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I've come up with a "measure" that has potential.

 

My pj bottoms tie around the waist (no elastic).

 

If I tie them snug around my waist, they will NOT pull down past the top of my buttocks without a big struggle!

 

The same thing happens when I pull them back up: they won't go past the bottom of my butt without some contortion.

 

This, I think is one good measure of butt-bulge. :)

  • 2 years later...
MartyB Mentor

MartyB

Posted
Posted

As one gets older I think it's even more important to work out at the gym. Every day I go I work on my "glutes". Has it made that much of a difference - not sure but my escort tells me it has (yeah I know how reliable is that lol). I'm envious of those guys in porn with those great "asses" one can dream but I'm glad I'm doing something about it. I'm one of those guys that can enjoy any "ass".

Wunder82 Enthusiast

Wunder82

Posted
Posted

I am one year away from sexy sixty. Last fall I decided to treat myself to a membership to a fitness spa. The workouts are intense, but do-able, and vary session-to-session. After 3 months into it - I decided to check out my derriere with a hand cup test. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the surprised look on my face when I felt a rather firm glute cheek in my hand! I was not gifted with a bubble butt, but to feel a rather firm butt on this 59-year old bod, oooh la la. So, friendofsheila, if you're active - there's a good probability that you have an ass befitting your age/be-fitting your bod. :D

Guy Fawkes Grand Master

Guy Fawkes

Posted
Posted

You post the pictures of 5 asses one of which is yours. Have us pick the order the asses should be in. You will then know, and we wouldn't know.

 

Do I still have an ass? :)

 

I'm fifty now, and I'm thinking it's maybe time to retire my ass from whatever it is I need to retire it from, UNLESS.....

 

It's still viable, unless I've still got an ass that goes for miles, an ass to beat the band, and ass that just won't quit.

 

So, how do I know this? How do I get an objective opinion?

 

No, I'm not going to go to a gay bar and drop trou. (Those men are all drunk.)

 

No, I'm not going to lay down in the middle of the floor at a bath house and point it north. (Those men are beyond horny and would hump a gopher hole if they found one in the steam room.)

 

And no, I’m not posting my picture here. Not no way, not no how.

 

What I need are standards: ratios, percentages, caliper readings, curvatures measured with a protractor. You know, scientific stuff.

 

Doesn't Hammacher-Schlemmer make a butt-meter now? :)

friendofsheila Grand Master

+ friendofsheila

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So, friendofsheila, if you're active - there's a good probability that you have an ass befitting your age/be-fitting your bod. :D

 

Congratulations on your new butt!

 

And yes, I'm active. I don't have a car, so my bike is my workout.

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