Everyone's a Critic

[Greathands]

I know this topic won't be popular, but it's beginning to get to me ...

 

I was looking for a video yesterday of a specific hymn for something I'm working on. I clicked on a video of a teenager who had recorded himself playing the hymn on a pipe organ at a church. He did a decent job. Was it perfect? No. But it was commendable. The only comment response to the video pissed me off. It said, "Good job, but the kid really needs to practice."

 

Was that last part necessary? Couldn't they have said it in a manner that was encouraging instead of critical? Something like ... "Good job. Keep up the practice young man!"

 

It just seems to me that many no longer have a sense of responsibility of the words we use.

 

And then I was reminded of something that frustrates me about this message forum.

 

When someone posts a pic of something they find hot, it's usually a matter of minutes before someone pounces. I don't mind a lively discussion, but don't see the need when the only comment that is made is when someone simply criticizes the post.

 

For example ...

 

Someone posts a picture of an escort and says: "Does anyone have any experience with this escort. I find them very hot."

 

And then someone responds: "I don't like the tattoos, he's too young and not muscular enough."

 

Argh! The poster asked if someone had any experience with the escort. He didn't ask if others found him attractive.

 

If I had a buck for every time someone posted a pic of someone they found hot ... and then someone replied negatively about their tattoos, I'd have a stable of guys living with me!

 

Not every post is a request about our personal opinion.

 

OK, I'm done with my rant. Let the criticisms begin.

[Steven_Draker]

http://w0.dk/~chlor/clinteastwood/opinions-assholes.jpg

[Guest countryboywny]

Steven is so right. My policy is "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything." Everyone is different in what we like and don't like. Unfortunately, some feel compelled to discredit or attack people who have an opinion contrary to their own.

So much the way of the world these days.

[Frankly Rich]

Bullpadoodle. Sure, everyone has an asshole, but that doesn't make their critical opinions shitty. If they know what they are talking about, add to the conversation, or introduce something new we haven't thought of, well then their criticism is welcome, at least by me. Steven Draker may have a nice asshole, but I'd bet he's got some great opinions too.

[Bosguy]

Bullpadoodle. Sure, everyone has an asshole, but that doesn't make their critical opinions shitty. If they know what they are talking about, add to the conversation, or introduce something new we haven't thought of, well then their criticism is welcome, at least by me. Steven Draker may have a nice asshole, but I'd bet he's got some great opinions too.

 

I think you got the wrong message from Steven's post. Knowing his way of addressing things fairly on the Forum for quite a while, I believe firmly that he is saying that there are many opinions to every topic that people agree or disagree on. He was not stating that critical opinions are shitty.

Constructive criticism is a way to grow. Destructive criticism halts growth.

 

Boston Bill

[geoffk]

Yes Greathands i recall the thread you are talking about and the post. I thought the same thing when i read it, "ok we know you don't like tattoos already, get over it."

[wisconsinguy]

Everyone needs to be more supportive in our comments, including myself. I try to practice civility. Perhaps that's what Greathands is saying?

[Steven_Draker]

Frankly, everyone has one, but don't be one

 

Bullpadoodle. Sure, everyone has an asshole, but that doesn't make their critical opinions shitty. If they know what they are talking about, add to the conversation, or introduce something new we haven't thought of, well then their criticism is welcome, at least by me.

 

http://i309.photobucket.com/albums/kk372/2pamt/Characters/animated_witch_pot.gif#witch%20stirring%20the%20pot

 

Stirring, anyone ...?

 

Now go back and reread the OP.

[Bart]

I think this thread should be coupled with the thread about trolls, then tend to go hand-in-hand at times.

 

I agree with this thread in general. I would add that sometimes when writing our minds write with inflection and tone. Those do not come across our fingertips when posting here unfortunately. I think there are times our posts are interpeted as critical, when actually you add a tone of your voice it changes the whole meaning of how it was written, by the same token we need to remember when we are part of discussion that the reader does not hear a tone in their eyes while reading it.

 

I would lastly add that it would be nice if we all could try to open our minds the possibilities that can come out of a conversation rather than assuming from the start that I am right and you are wrong. For some of us it would not kill us when we realize we were wrong to admit it, ask for forgiveness and then lets move on. That goes for all posters clients and gentlemen, alike.

 

If you wish to see a perfect example of Greathands is saying see Gareth comment to Dante in Deli. It does seem out of place as comment about gentleman's look was not asked.

[Guest countryboywny]

Bullpadoodle.

 

Bullpadoodle? Really? LOL I'll have to remember that one!

[Frankly Rich]

It's amusing when folks who have spent years in an online forum suddenly seem to discover that their opinions are not shared by all. Some go on the attack, calling the differing opinionator a "troll" or otherwise attempt to denigrate him. Would life not be entirely boring if all agreed? So relish the fact that there are opinions different from yours. Celebrate it. Be confident, if you wish, in your opinion. Change it, if you are shown to be wrong. Just don't be complacent that the message board consists entirely of like-minded folk.

I have been told that Steven Draker is an elder statesman of the board, and I respect that. No doubt he has a lot to offer, and I would be a fool not to listen. But to suggest that someone with a differing opinion is stirring something up is a bit contrary to what an elder statesman might feel. They usually welcome relief from the tedium of concurrent ideas, and look forward to a discussion. Rest assured, my opinions are fairly mainstream, and we will agree more than disagree!

[Decatur Guy]

The anonymity of the Internet has certainly brought out the worst in a lot of people.

[+ poolboy48220]

I've got nothing against a lively debate and difference of opinions. But sometimes a post isn't about opinions. The great number of posts in the Deli, or Spa, that ask if anyone's got any first hand information about a particular escort, that turn into yet another diatribe about their tattoos, or their smoking, or their safe-sex practices...it gets tiring. If I commented negatively about every smooth guy I saw posted in the Gallery because I prefer hairy guys, I'd be up at Earl level by now. I try to post only when I have something to say that'll contribute to the discussion (and granted, because I'm often here with my first cup of coffee, I don't always succeed).

 

There are lots of posts that ask for opinions, and I've posted on them both agreeing and disagreeing with the original opinion.

[jimboivyo]

there's a line between heatedly disagreeing and being a prick for pricks sake

 

some here who are now banned were banned for good reason. they were ugly human beings

[HoseMaster]

 

I was looking for a video yesterday of a specific hymn for something I'm working on. I clicked on a video of a teenager who had recorded himself playing the hymn on a pipe organ at a church. He did a decent job. Was it perfect? No. But it was commendable. The only comment response to the video pissed me off. It said, "Good job, but the kid really needs to practice."

 

Since playing the pipe organ is a part-time job for me, what is the link for this and the nasty comment? I'd like to hear how he did.

[jgoo]

I can understand the OPs frustration and agree to a great extent. I am probably guilty at times of not reading an initial post carefully enough and may give a reply that isn't directly on target but on the other hand it can be very restrictive to keep things in such narrow bounds such that opinions not directly related to the OP's initial question/inquiry/statement aren't permitted, either positive or negative. Some very interesting threads have evolved as a result and while perhaps a better approach would have been to start a separate thread it can lose its momentum if that happens. I suppose it comes down to the level of tolerance each has for how far afield a comment can go and that is different for each person.